Healing
by MountainTop76
Summary: "It was only a day into the vacation that was designed to heal me that I realized it wasn't going to work." Can Edward step in and help where a vacation can't? Can he make Bella see she is everything he is looking for and that a broken heart can be mended? Can she find a way to see past the difficulties and embrace the possibilities? Only time will tell. But they only have 10 days.
1. Chapter 1 - The Vacation

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape. I did fiddle with a couple bits after she looked through it so any mistakes are mine.**

 **I've just moved the Prologue into Chapter 1 as I was getting annoyed with Chapter 4 being on Chapter 5 etc.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Prologue**

"What the fuck, Mike!" I yell.

"What? I didn't do anything, Bella!"

"Then why the hell did he run off like that? What did you say?"

"All I said was 'congratulations'. I've no idea why he reacted that way."

"You must have said more than that. What did he say? Why was he here?"

At that point a black Ford pulls up to the curb and my best friend starts to climb out.

"Don't bother getting out, Ang," I instruct, "we're going NOW."

"I'll speak to you later, don't think I won't get the full story when I get back. There's more to this then you're telling me," I yell back angrily at Mike as I climb into the car.

I turn to Angela. "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's get going."

"Where are we headed?" Like the good friend she is, she takes my irrational bossiness in her stride, knowing I'll explain all soon enough.

"Seattle. The airport. I have to head him off. _He_ was here Ang. _He_ came here."

" _He_ was here? Why? What did he say?"

"Please. I'll fill you in as we drive. I can't let him get away." My voice is pleading and I'm almost on the edge of tears. I think she gets my desperation and starts the car.

As Angela pulls out onto the highway I look down at my hands and notice for the first time they are shacking. My whole body feels tense.

'So it's true?' Those few words he said echo round and round in my head. Why had he come? Why had he left again so suddenly after just one glance at me? Would he ever forgive me for what I'd done?

There is only one way to get these answers. I can't let him get away again.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: The Vacation**

It was only a day into the vacation that was designed to heal me, when I realized it wasn't going to work.

"When are you coming home? I miss you mom." My son's words from our conversation earlier this evening play over and over in my mind.

"I know sweetheart. But I'll be back home before you know it. Think of all the fun you're going to have with Gramps and Sue." I tell him.

I knew in my heart that this was for the best and that I would be a better mom going forward because of it, but it also broke my heart. How could I leave them so soon?

"But they don't read bed time stories as good as you, and I miss your cuddles." My son whined.

After the day I had, and after hearing his words, I was so close to rearranging my flight home to leave as soon as possible. It didn't help that my eldest son had said all of two words to me before declaring he was going upstairs to play his guitar. His attitude, though, was no change from the norm and something I knew I would have to tackle once I got home. Another thing I needed to be strong for, and to be strong I needed this break, so I resolved to see it through.

"So what did you get up to today?" At their young age they are easily distracted and I needed to get off topic before I broke down and cried in front of them. That would not help them to cope with the separation at all.

"We went to the park and I chased a squirrel," broke in my daughter, clearly excited to tell me about her day. She then launched into a play by play account of the great adventures of the afternoon, including the near disaster of the too slippery slide and the giant ugly tree with the fairies in the branches. We ended the conversation with virtual hugs and blown kisses and lots of declarations of love. They currently needed a lot of reassurances of my love and I was more than willing to give this to them.

I'd arrived in sunny, lively Los Angeles the previous evening, full of hope for how this time away would pan out. I was going to start by throwing myself into the tourist scene, soak it all up, and recharge my batteries. That first evening, I'd only had the energy for a quick stroll around the neighborhood to shake out the kinks from travelling all day and get a feel for the area.

This is the first time I've visited LA and it is a far cry from my new base in the Pacific North West. But in some ways it feels more like home than the small town of Forks, Washington does at present. Having spent the last eight years in Miami I've grown accustomed to, even fond of, the heat and lack of rain. Even though it is the middle of summer the weather in Forks is still frequently wet and the temperature struggles to get into the 70's.

After a brief look around that first evening I'd gone back to the quant hotel where I'd reserved a double room. I was staying in Burbank, also known as the suburbs of LA. It was slightly off the tourist scene, but it suited me. The amazingly friendly owners seemed eager to quiz me on why I was visiting the city, obviously curious about what brought me to Los Angeles all alone. I'd been deliberately vague, not ready to share my life story with others, and they didn't push me.

The truth is, it was pure blind luck that lead to me getting washed up on these shores. I'd used the tried and tested technique of closing my eyes and sticking a pin a map. Once I'd opened my eyes and discovered my destination, it had seemed as good a place as any and promised to offer lots of distractions to keep me entertained over this ten day trip.

That first night I was keen to get a good night's sleep, as I had a lot of sightseeing scheduled for the next day, including a tour of the houses of the rich and famous. The plan was to keep busy for the first couple of days to clear my head and to have some fun. I had a carefully laid out and detailed itinerary that I hoped would achieve just that. I knew I would miss my kids, but they were safe and having a wonderful time with my father and his wife back in Forks. They would be kept busy and I knew it was also the best strategy to stop me from missing them.

However, after the fun, I knew I would also need some down time to think and get my head back in the game. So when I return home, I can be the mom my kids need me to be going forward.

After all I now need to be both mom and dad for them.

I was pleased to see the small hotel dining room was still serving when I returned from my walk. So I went straight in and ordered a burger and fries with all the condiments, after all you can't go wrong with a burger. I then settled back in my seat and pulled out my phone to read one of the many books I had downloaded.

The hotel dining staff seemed to sense I wanted to be left alone that evening; they didn't disturb me until I was finished. It was still early, but I was exhausted, so I decided to go to sleep. After all, I had a busy day planned for the morning. I was extremely grateful for the exhaustion, thinking it would perhaps allow me to get a full night of restful sleep, something that has been severely lacking the last few months. My eyes closed as soon as my head hit the pillow and it looked like I was going to be in luck.

However, it didn't to last. I suddenly woke, jolting upright in bed. I knew it was a dream that awakened me, but the content was disappearing fast, leaving me with a vague feeling of loss and a desire to be held. But there was no one to hold me; there hadn't been since that night back in May, when my life as I knew it ceased and I had to start to plan a new future, one without him.

As I lay there in the still of the night, listening to the sound of the air conditioner, my mind was flooded with memories from that day and I found myself curling up into a tight ball, as the tears flowed down my face. The nights were always the worst. Waking up and finding him not there was like a new wound to my heart every time. Knowing I would have to spend another day alone without my best friend, my confident, my crutch, and my biggest supporter ripped me to shreds and the loneliness threatened to consume me.

After lying like this for what seemed like hours, but probably was more like thirty minutes, I gave myself my usual talk. You know the one - how wallowing in self-pity was not going to bring him back and that I needed to pull myself together, if not for me then for my kids ( _my_ kids now - not ours!).

Wiping my face, I made my way into the bathroom and looked hard at myself in the mirror. The sight was not reassuring.

My eyes were red and swollen from crying and I looked tried, like I had not slept well in weeks, which I hadn't. I used to get told I look younger than my years, but with the stress of the last few months I doubted this is now the case. I allowed myself to look down from my facial features, taking in the rest of my body. It wasn't fairing too much better. I was thirty-eight now and I had a body that went with it. Over the past twenty years my weight had fluctuated between 130 and 190 pounds. I'd gotten down to about 150 before May, which was the thinnest I'd been in ages and I felt good, although I still had a way to go to be totally rid of the tummy roll and the thunder thighs. I've not climbed on the scale since that day, but I can tell by the tightening of my clothes that the combination of comfort eating and not managing to find the time to exercise is taking its toll.

I also carried the battle scars of three pregnancies. My stomach displayed a multitude of stretch marks, resembling waves in an ocean when viewed from a great height. After the birth of my daughter, it had taken me a while to feel comfortable enough with my body to even get naked with the lights on in front of my husband. I couldn't imagine letting anyone else see me without clothes, even if I ever felt ready to move on, and could find someone to take on a middle aged woman with three kids.

I let out a big sigh and turned away from the mirror, pulling my robe tightly around my body.

From experience, I knew sleep was not going to come easily, so I decided a warm shower may relax me and allow me to sleep.

It didn't work! An hour later I was still tossing and turning. Dawn was fast approaching, so I decided to give up and return to the story I had been reading earlier on my smart phone. At least it would stop my mind from wandering to dark places. Living my life vicariously through fictional characters was the best I had now. At least with the romance books I chose, I was assured a happy ever after.

Before I knew it, morning had arrived and I was making my way to breakfast and the cheerful hotel staff.

My first full day in LA was taken up with city tours and a rather tacky, disappointing "celebrity" tour that had promised to show me where all the stars lived, but really consisted of us looking at high walls and hedges surrounding large houses reported as belonging, at best, to B-listers. My favorite ones were those now occupied by none famous people, but where someone in the limelight used to live. I wondered what the current occupants thought about the endless stream of tour buses stopping outside their home, allowing Japanese and European visitors to try in vain to get a clear picture of their house, just because John Wayne lived there once for two months back in 1974.

In addition, everyone else on the tour was either in a group or a doting twosome. After the first half an hour of watching the couple next to me spend more time sucking on each other's faces, rather than did listening to the tour guide. I knew I had to change seat. I went to sit near the front of the bus.

But this was not much better. Here I found a group of young girls talking excitedly. From what I could gather, which was a lot as they were not being quiet or discreet, they were just out of college and on a girls' holiday before they all started work, for the first time. I envied them, their optimism and excitement for the future. I remembered being where they were; it now seemed such a long time ago. However, their endless talk about some guys they'd met in the bar the previous night and whether they should or shouldn't meet up with them again soon started to drive me insane. It only served to remind me that I had no idea about the rules of the modern dating scene. Not that I had any desire to date at the moment.

All in all, the tour itself was very disappointing and I found the experience more than a little depressing. It had done nothing to keep my mind occupied, instead allowing me a lot of time to think, something I'd hoped to avoid today. So after returning to the hotel, I realized I was once again wallowing. It looked like there was going to be no quick fix. So after a little time pondering the best way forward, I decided the only course of action was to see the grieving process through.

I could get through it in ten day, right? Then be ready to get back to my kids and get on with my life? I know I was ignoring the fact that I hadn't managed to do it in the last three months, but I'd been too busy for it then, right? With ten days to just concentrate on me I could do it, couldn't I? Well time would tell. So, Step 1: Embrace the grief. To me, that meant, drowning my sorrows in the bottom of a glass, preferably a glass of very strong alcohol.

This is why I now find myself in a bar, just down the road from my hotel. It's only twenty-four hours after I arrived in LA and I'm already on my third, or was it my fourth vodka. The bar is off the usual beaten track and seems to be mainly frequented by locals who all seem to know each other and they are all having a good time. I watch them meet and embrace, sharing stories of their days and getting on with their lives. They all seem happy, opposite of how I feel.

Embrace the grief. Yep, I knew I had to do that much.

* * *

A/N This is an Edward Bella story with a HEA. There are a few bumps in the road before they get there, but they will get there I promise. I will be updating regularly on a weekly bases. The story is nearly all written (it just needs some editing by me and my Beta before it can go live) so I promise to finish and not stop till it's done.I'm a new writer so any feedback is much appreciated, good or bad. I hope you like it.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Cocktail

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

 **Chapter 2: The Cocktail**

It is a commonly held belief that there are five stages of grief. First comes denial, then anger at the unfairness of it all. This moves on to bargaining, then depression and finally acceptance. I'd certainly experienced denial when I first learnt about the accident. I kept expecting someone to tell me it wasn't as bad as they first thought, that he'd woken up, it was a medical miracle, and that he would soon be coming back home with us. That didn't happen though. Since then I've been alternating between anger and depression, whilst desperately trying to convince myself and everyone around that I'm in acceptance.

Apart from in those initial few hours, when the denial was still strong, I haven't done much bargaining. What was the point? He's gone and he's not coming back.

In the bar that night, I was embracing the depression. The full on misery that comes with the realization you have lost your soul mate and now have to live your life alone. I was at the point where I couldn't fool myself anymore; I was ready to move on. I needed to work through it and hopefully come out the other side in time to not emotionally cripple my children.

They were now my sole reason for being. They were working through similar emotions to me. I'd seen their anger, heard their pleas to bring back their Daddy, witnessed their uncontrollable sobs, all the while forcing myself to be strong, letting them know they still had me, that I would always be there for them, I would never leave them, I would protect them. But between being there for them and sorting out my husband's finances, organizing his funeral, finding a new home, the difficulties with getting his body, and our lives, moved back across the states, whilst dealing with the Florida and Washington paperwork, there wasn't much time for me.

My time came in the dead of the night. When I tossed and turned, unable to shut my mind down, and just wept for hours. When I would wake from a dream and it would feel so real, that I would reach out for him, only to find him not there. Then I would often shout and scream, behind my closed bedroom door. Throw things and punch things. On occasions a numbness would come over me and I'd wonder how I could go on. I would find myself digging my nails into my arms or legs, just to feel something real, to know I was still alive and could still experience pain and wondering if I would ever feel joy again.

It was on these occasions my kids were my salvation. I'd wander into their rooms and watch them sleeping and I'd know why I had to keep going. It was all for them now. My children were everything. They were all I had and I would do my absolute best to make sure they wanted for nothing and constantly knew they were loved and cherished.

After his death, I'd made the decision to go back to my hometown for a number of reason. Firstly, I was going to need the support of family, now that I was a single parent. My dad still lived in the small town of Forks with my step mom. My younger sister lived nearby in an even smaller town called Beaver, overlooking Lake Pleasant. It was also not far from La Push, where my in-laws lived. I thought it may help their healing process to be able to spend more time with my children. They may have lost a son, but they would still have their grandchildren.

In addition, Miami had been our dream, our grand adventure. When he'd received the job offer to move out there, the opportunity was just too great to turn down. Since graduating from college we had settled in Seattle. We both had good jobs there, but neither of them offered the pay and promotional prospects his Miami job promised. My job in publishing was easily transferrable and I could even do most of it from home. Of course it would mean moving away from our families, but we visited frequently. My kids were quickly becoming seasoned travelers.

Things had gone well. Promotions came thick and fast. Allowing us to upgrade to a larger house with a pool. We talked about going back home one day when we had a little nest egg put aside and the kids were a little older. But the reality was, we were living a good life and were unlikely to return home any time soon.

But that was over now. Now I was back home. Alone. I'd used some of the insurance money to put down a sizable down payment on a lovely family house. The kids were registered to start at the local schools. I'd even sorted out all my husband's belongings, sending some off to the charity shop, putting some in storage and giving some to his parents. To any outside observer, we were getting on with our lives. Except inside, I wasn't. I was still hurting and so angry.

So I'd given myself ten days. The new school term was due to start soon after I got back and I took advantage of my dad and Sue's kind offer to look after the kids. I needed some time just for me. To sort myself out and ten days was all I had. I knew it wouldn't be enough, but it would have to do.

I look up from my now empty glass. How did that happen? I remember ordering it, but not actually drinking any of it. I catch the eye of the bartender, signaling for a refill. He gives me a wry smile as he pours in the vodka, topping it up with diet coke. I'm sure he recognizes someone drowning their sorrows, probably having seen it a million times before.

I realize I should probably slow down if I want to avoid a hangover in the morning, but in reality I know I won't. I take a long sip of my new drink, letting my eyes close and a lone tear fall down my cheek.

When I open my eyes I'm shocked to I see a fountain of color in front of me. It looks like an explosion in a paint factory. I take in the tall curved glass, filled with a liquid that starts out as a vibrant orange at the bottom blending to a dark green in the middle before being topped off with blood red. But the drink itself is only the start. Sprouting out the top is a cornucopia of different fruits on cocktail sticks, at least two brightly colored umbrellas and a couple multi-colored twisty straws. Am I supposed to drink this?

I lift an eyebrow and glanced up at the bartender who has a wicked smirk on his face.

"Courtesy of the gentleman at the end of the bar," he says with a wink. "He said, and I quote, 'I hope this will put a smile on your beautiful face, no one should be that sad on a Friday night.' "

I look towards the other end of the bar, as indicated by the bar tender. The lighting is poor but I can just make out a tall man leaning forward with his elbows resting on the bar top. He is looking in my direction with a curious expression on his face, as if he is trying to figure out his tax return. As I look his way he raises his beer bottle to me and I see his mouth turn up in a crooked smile.

I glance from him to the drink and back up to him again with a look that I hope portrays, 'Really? This is from you is it?' It seems my expressed communicates something because his head rolls back as he gives a small laugh. The sight is so refreshing and the ridiculousness of the situation, combined with the outrageous drink, hits me and as he looks my way again, I give him a small smile. I realize it isn't much of a smile, but it is the best I can muster at the moment.

As I watch his head tilts to one side and a serious look crosses his features. Then he's gone; disappearing into the crowd behind him. The suddenness of his departure startles me and I find myself searching for him in vain around his end of the bar.

But before I can catch a glimpse of him I hear a soft, velvety voice, so close to my ear it makes me catch my breath. The sound is like butter melting on hot pancakes and I find my eyes closing as a shiver runs down my spine. It is then that I realize I have been concentrating so much on the sound of his voice that I haven't actually heard a word.

"Pardon?" I utter as I turn towards the speaker.

And there he is. The stranger from the bar, the cocktail man, only inches from my face. My breath catches as I take in the beauty of him. His eyes, which are staring deeply into mine, are a brilliant shade of green and they shimmered and sparkled in the soft light from the bar.

It is hard to pull my eyes away, but when I do I take in a younger face; I guess around thirty. He has well-defined cheekbones, a strong jaw line, carrying just a hint of a stubble, and hair that looks like he has just rolled out of bed. The color is dark, but as the light catches it I can see it carries a multitude of different shades of red, copper and bronze. It is hair I could run my hands through for hours.

Shit, where did that thought come from, I'm a married woman. Then it hits me. No, I'm not anymore. I'm consumed by a wave of guilt and sorrow that causes me to look down at my hands, still tightly clutching my glass. My husband is only three months gone and here I am ogling a young man in a bar. This isn't right.

I feel his hand on my chin, lifting my face. He brushes his thumb across my lips. "I said, I'd give anything to put a real smile on your face, one that reaches your eyes". As he says this he runs the tips of his fingers across my temple, over the laughter lines that age has permanently embedded there. His touch is like electricity. It shocks me and thrills me in equal measure. This creature standing before me stuns me, I wonder for a moment if my alcohol and grief consumed mind haven't conjured him up as a cruel trick.

But then he reaches down and takes my hand. "Let's get out of here, beautiful," he says, briefly looking around before capturing my gaze once again. "Do you trust me?" His expression is open and sincere and, as I look back at the deepest eyes I've ever seen, all I can do is nod.

Then, before I can blink, he pulls me from my stool and leads me through the now busy bar to what looks like a back entrance. As we walk he extracts a mobile phone from the back pocket of his jeans. Jeans that cover a fabulous, pert bum. I drag my eyes away, knowing the last thing I should be doing is checking out this stranger's ass. He quickly dials a number and starts to talk into his phone. The bar has gotten noisy since I came in a couple hours earlier and even though I strain to catch any clue as to what he is talking about, I can't make anything out. We head down a dark, quiet corridor past the toilets and came to an emergency exit, where he stops.

"We just need to wait a moment," he offers by way of an explanation. I'm just about to ask what we are waiting for and where we are going when his phone pings.

"There we go," he states, as if that explains everything, before opening the door and pulling me out into the alley that runs along the back of the strip of bars and shops. Once outside the first thing I notice is a large gleaming black SUV. It looks out of place against the rubbish bins, litter and discarded cigarette butts. Cocktail man glances quickly around and then leads me over to the vehicle. He helps me into the back seat before climbing in himself.

As we settle into the plush leather seats I realize that he is still holding my hand. He hasn't once let it go since we left the bar area and I am surprised to find I like it. His fingers feel warm as they trace comforting circles over the back of my knuckles.

He leans forward and speaks to the driver, presumably giving him instructions. I am too in shock to really take in what he says. My mind is starting to work overtime. What am I doing? I've just gotten into the back of a car with a complete stranger. Admittedly a beautiful stranger with mesmerizing eyes, but a stranger all the same. He could be a mass murder or a rapist. Admittedly the presence of the driver would probably stop him from killing me straight away, but was I really safe?

He'd asked me to trust him, and in that moment, with him staring into my eyes, I'd not hesitated. But now I'm here, almost alone with him in the back of a car, worry starts to creep in. This is not who I am. I don't take risks and go off with complete strangers.

What if he wants to take me somewhere and have his wicked way with me? There is no way I can do that. No matter the attraction I felt for this guy initially, I still feel married. I'm still grieving. I've only slept with one man in the last nineteen years and I am not about to change that tonight. What is he expecting from me? Where is he taking me?

He looks back at me after talking to the driver and frowns, and I'm sure it's because my facial expression is one of horror and fear.

"It's okay," he whispers to me, reassuringly, pushing my long dark hair back behind my ear with a concerned look on his face, "I'm not kidnapping you. I just want to go somewhere quieter, where we can talk. I have this strange desire to know what's made you so sad." A puzzled look crosses his face, as if he can't understand himself where this desire comes from. As for me, I'm really not sure what to make of this statement and as I think it over and try to figure out if I need to make a run for it or if he really is trustworthy, the car pulls into the side of the road.

He looks at me intensely. "Whiskey, I think," he suddenly announces.

"Sorry?" I splutter, stunned by the strange statement.

"I think we need more alcohol," he states frankly, "and I think Whiskey is the way to go."

I prefer to drink most alcohol with a mixer, but I can drink that one neat. "I like a good whiskey," is my simple reply.

I remember back to a holiday my husband and I had taken to Ireland before we had the children. Travelling was something we really enjoyed doing together. Whilst there, we had a tour of a local distillery and I'd learnt to appreciate a good whiskey. The memory is happy, but is tinged with such sadness. I see his delighted face, beaming at me with love, as we stand in the bar of the boarding house, toasting our future, as a Gaelic band plays traditional tunes in the corner. That was the night we decided to try for a family. I stopped taking my pill the next day and it wasn't long till Embry came along.

Cocktail Man draws me back to the present, a present alone, as he turns to the driver. "You heard the lady, Demetri."

The driver nods to me in the rear-view mirror. "No problem, boss," he says with a smile, before leaving the car and heading into what I now notice is a late night liquor store.

He returns a few moments later and hands back a bottle wrapped in a brown paper bag, before restarting the car and pulling out once more. He obviously knows where to go this time and no further instructions seem necessary as he weaves his way through the light evening traffic.


	3. Chapter 3 - Therapy

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Therapy**

We ride in a comfortable silence, with me stealing the occasional glance at the beautiful stranger sat next to me, still holding gently onto my hand.

It isn't long until the driver, Demetri, is pulling over again and I find myself being helped from the car.

"Where are we?" I look around at a quiet street with large imposing houses lining it.

"It's a surprise." He responds.

He once again takes my hand and leads me down a narrow, secluded path between two of the properties. Before I know it, we are emerging on the other side and I hear the sound of the waves; at the same time as I feel the texture of the ground beneath my feet soften. The smell of the salty air hits me full force. It's a comforting smell. I loved to play on the beach in Miami with my kids and my husband; we would often take long walks along the shore.

"We're at the beach!" I state the obvious, not sure what else to say.

"Yep, this is one of my favorites. It's very private and there's a little bed of rock just a short walk away, that provides even more privacy. Come on," he says as he leads me further along the dark beach.

As we walk I start to make out the shape of a large boulder that juts out across the sand like a finger pointing out to sea. We move around to the other side where a hollow in the rock creates an enclosed sheltered spot away from the wind.

"Come." He pulls me down beside him on the sand with our backs leaning against the rock, looking out towards the ocean. By the light of the moon, which is shining bright in the clear sky above us, I can just make out the gentle waves out at sea. The sound of the slow breakers crashing on the shore line is a comfort, as is the warmth radiating off the side of the man next to me.

He proceeds to take the cap of the bottle of whiskey his driver purchased for us earlier. He takes the first swig and then hands me the bottle.

"So that's your plan is it, Cocktail Man? Lure me to a secluded beach then get me drunk?"

He chuckles, "No, my plan is to find out what is making you so sad, but I figured you might be more willing to open up and talk to me with a little alcohol in your system. Besides, back in the bar you seemed determined to get yourself drunk and who am I to stand in the way of your desires."

"Fair play," I reply taking a large swig from the bottle allowing the feel of the burn in my throat and the heat to spread through me.

He pauses for a moment, watching me. His mouth opening and closing a few times, as if he keeps changing his mind about what to say. Finally, he seems to settle on an opening question. "So, Beautiful, are you from LA?"

"No, are you?" I throw his question back at him, and I realize part of it is an attempt to deflect attention from me. His term of endearment also confuses me. I'm not used to being called beautiful, but I don't linger on his reasons for doing so at present.

"No." He replies, not giving me any more information than I gave him. "How long have you been in LA?"

"I arrived yesterday." These questions I can answer. As long as we keep to my vacation plans, we should be safe.

"What are you running from?" Ahh, so now we're getting to the trickier questions.

I take another long swig from the whiskey bottle before handing it back to him and watch him do likewise. He seems to be giving me the time to ponder my answer, as if he knows I need it. I debate what to tell this intriguing man.

"Life."

His reply is to just raise an eyebrow, as if indicating I need to give him more. 'So this is it' I think, time to open up to someone, so what if it's a complete stranger, maybe that'll be easier. If he's willing to listen, perhaps I should be willing to talk.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "My husband died three months ago and I just needed a bit of time away from everything that reminds me of him, to get my head together."

He briefly closes his eyes and asks, "What happened?"

I'm pleased he hasn't just offered me the usual platitudes. I'm sick of people telling me they're sorry for my loss or that things will get better in time. But I haven't discussed the events of that night with anyone since they happened and I'm still not sure I'm ready to yet.

The silence stretches.

"It may help to talk about it," he encourages with a small smile, "think of it as therapy."

I reach across, retrieve the rapidly emptying bottle from his hand and take another large mouthful. The head buzz I'm starting to get, along with the sheltered area of beach, with just the sound of the surf and the wind to keep us company, makes me bolder. Perhaps he is right. Perhaps it would help to open up to someone, and it isn't like cocktail man is connected or knows me. He can be impartial and at the end of the evening, I can walk away and never see him again.

"We were living in Miami, had been for about eight years at the time," I start; closing my eyes and letting the memories flood back. The memories I've been avoiding for the past three months.

"It was an ordinary evening, I'd put the two younger kids to bed and my husband was due back any minute so I was making a start on our supper. I remember I was making pasta." I tell him. "And then my mobile phone rang. It wasn't a number I recognized and I remember considered not taking the call, thinking it would probably just be a marketing company or something similar, but for some reason I answered. I struggle to remember the exact words he said to me. It's all a bit of a blur, but I do remember asking him to repeat himself several times. I wasn't sure if I was miss-hearing or if he just weren't explaining it properly, because what he was saying couldn't be real."

I stop and take another drink.

"What happened?" he repeats his question from earlier.

"I didn't get the full story until the police spoke to me at the hospital," I reply, "but it transpires that as he was driving home from work that evening, another driver lost control of their car and ploughed into him at a junction. They say he died quickly and wouldn't have experienced much pain."

As I speak, tears start to slowly fall from my eyes and he reaches out to put his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in close to his side. As he holds me, I find the feeling of his strong body brings me a sense of relief and I lean into his warmth as I continue my narration.

"Suddenly, I had so much to organize. Everything happened in a whirl, it was all too fast. Before I knew it, the funeral was over and we were moving into our new home in Washington and I was doing it all without my other half, the man I'd been with for the last nineteen year." I think back to the life we'd shared, the home we'd built, the dreams we had. There was so much we'd still wanted to do together.

"I'd known him practically my whole life, you know. But we didn't get together until I was nineteen. He was a year younger. When he decided to attend the same college as me I offered to help him settle in, and the rest is history as they say. We were so young then. I feel so old now." I close my eyes and lean my head against his shoulder, grateful for some human contact. I realize I've missed that so much.

"What was his name?" he asks.

"Jacob," I state simply, but the sound of his name on my tongue pulls at my heart, tearing another piece lose.

"Tell me about him. What made you love him?" He asks.

"Jacob was my best friend. I knew he would always be there for me. He made me laugh. He had a great, but very dry, sense of humor. We seemed to fit together well, his strengths complemented my weaknesses and vice versa. We knew each other so well. When he tried, he could be really romantic. Remind me to tell you about how he proposed. It's a great story." I smile wistfully at the memory of Jake taking me down to First Beach at La Push, not far from him parent's home, with the sun setting in the background as he sank down onto one knee.

"He was also a great dad. The kids miss him so much. Especially at bedtime. He always tried to get home in time to read to them. I worry they may forget him. They are so young, especially Kim."

I feel him rest his cheek against the top of my head and he squeezes my shoulder a little tighter.

"Tell me about your kids."

"They're my life. We...I... have three. The eldest, Embry, is twelve and starting to show traits of a moody teenager. He's into his music and would love nothing more than to form a band. He's really talented, so I can see him doing it." I start.

"Jared is nine and the brightest, most inquisitive boy. He is forever asking questions and wants to know how everything works. One day he'll be a great Engineer or an Architect, or… well anything really. Whatever he does he'll be great at it, I know it."

"Kim, Kimberley, is different. Whilst Jared is like me and Embry is like Jake, Kim is a complete stranger and it is fascinating to try and understand how her mind works. Every day she surprises me and makes we laugh or smile. She is such a personality. She is so small, but really knows how to hold her own. I truly believe anything she puts her mind to, she will achieve." It feels nice to talk about my kids. They bring me so much joy.

"How old is she?" He asks curiously.

"She's only just turned six."

"How are they taking the loss of your husband, their dad?" He sounds genuinely interested and concerned and I find this helps me to open up.

"Not so well. Jared is very sensitive and it's hit him hard. Night time is the worst. I often have to sit with him after putting him to bed, while he cries. He can't understand why this has happened. To be honest I can't either, so I don't really have any answers for him."

I pick up a handful of loose dry sand and watch as it falls though my fingers creating small hills on the once flat surface of the beach.

"And the other two?"

"Kim, on the surface seems the least affected, but I have caught her playing games with her imaginary dad. It might be something I need to watch for in the future. Embry, I worry about the most. He's become withdrawn and doesn't want to communicate much. He certainly doesn't want to talk about his dad."

I think about my troubled boy, I wish I knew how to get him to open up to me. I let out a big sniff, as the tears once again start to fall fast.

Something soft brushes against my cheeks and I realize cocktail man is wiping away my tears with the pad of his thumb. It's a simple gesture, full of kindness, but as I glance up at him I see the sorrow in his eyes. I think how they must mirror mine.

"Thanks," I murmur and, glancing down, I smooth out the sand I've disturbed, as if making that right might also make my life right.

"So you have to be strong for your children, comfort them, reassure them. Who comforts you? Who reassures you?" He looks down at me and I now see concern in his eyes.

"I've always been very independent," I say, as if that will explain it all.

"Beautiful, we all need someone at times. What about your parents, your mom?"

"My dad's been great on the practical things, for example him and my step mom, Sue, were kind enough to look after the kids this week while I came, to try and get my head together, but he isn't really a 'talk about your feelings' or hugging type of guy." I answer cocktail man.

My mom. hmmm, what to say about my mom. I take a deep breath and another swig of whiskey.

"I've never really gotten on with my mom and we're not close. I couldn't imagine talking to her like this for. I couldn't imagine her bothering to listen. Neither of my parents do emotions well."

His expression shows concern and a lack of understanding. Not many people who have a good relationship with their parents do. But I've long since made my peace with our lack of a close connection. We're very different people. I'm closer to my dad, but I never really felt like he knew me well or understood me. It's just the way things are. It's not his fault. He only got to see me for short, erratic periods growing up, then I'd be back with my mom again and I'd change, so he had to get to know me once more the next time we were together.

Why my mom and I are the way we are is hard to explain, and I knew it would take longer than this evening so I have another drink and ask him about his family instead.

"Do you have a family, are you close?"

"I do, and yes we are. But we aren't here to talk about me. This is about you. I want you to tell me everything about yourself, I want to know you, what makes you tick, what makes you sad, and then, eventually what makes you happy, because that's what this is all about, remember, giving you that real genuine smile. A smile that reaches your beautiful eyes and lights up your face." Cocktail man tells me genuinely.

As he says this he turns to look at me, allowing his eyes to roam over my whole face, seeming to take in every feature as his hand comes up and strokes my cheek gently.

Nobody has ever called my eyes beautiful before. Jacob had always been reserved in his compliments, saving them up for special occasions, and I honestly didn't think my eyes were anything special. But he's looking at me with such sincerity and warmth that I can't doubt he means it.

I find myself being drawn into his gaze. His eyes are mesmerizing and I so miss the feel of another human being, the touch of a man, the tenderness of a kiss.

The moment stretches and we just stare into each other eyes, as if we're both searching for something there, something we've been missing. I feel him get closer and his hand comes down to cradle my chin. His thumb continues to rub across my cheek, removing the tears that haven't stopped since we started talking. I watch as his tongue slowly licks his lower lip, and I find myself gently taking mine between my lips as I contemplated what it would be like to kiss this beautiful man before me. This man who has taken the time to let me unburden and to bare my soul, my cocktail man, and I find I want it. I want to get lost in the moment, to not think, to not worry about what it means.

We move closer, as if drawn by gravity, so close I can feel his labored breath against my wet cheeks, and I know it is going to happen, and in that moment I want it so badly.

But then his eyes close and I feel him rest his forehead against mine. His hand moves round to the back of my neck, gently massaging the delicate skin there, and the moment is gone. I feel its loss acutely. I don't know what I miss more: the promise of what was to come or the loss of the contact. The depth of feeling, the powerful connection to another person that I'd felt in that moment was all consuming and there is now a void where it once was. It's a void I've been living with for the past three months, but I now recognize it and it hurts.

"I'm sorry, Beautiful," he says with a small shake of his head, his eyes still closed, keeping me out, keeping the emotional distance. "I want to kiss you so much right now, but it would be wrong."

"Please." I'm not sure what I'm pleading for. This kiss, his affection, even for him to stop; I just know I need something.

He draws back slightly, still cradling my head in his hand and he opens his eyes and I can see the torment lying in their depths. "I don't want to be the one that gives you a moment of pleasure, followed by a mountain of guilt and self-loathing. I know you're feeling lonely and I want to be there for you, but not like this. You need to mend before you can move on. If this happened now it would only bring you more pain and I can't do that to you."

I know he's right, but the rejection still hurts and I look down to hide my eyes and the fresh tears that are falling.

"Don't hide from me, please," he pleads, as he gently lifts my chin.

I look up again into his beautiful green eyes and I realize what I really need in this moment. He's right, it's not a kiss that would lead to me feeling guilty for betraying my husband, it is just simple human contact. To feel the warmth of another and to know they care. In that moment, I believe he cares. I don't understand why. Why would this complete stranger decide to care for me? It's a question I can't answer, but in that moment it doesn't matter.

"Just hold me, please. Just hold me." I ask, looking into his eyes.

He gives a small smile and nods, before wrapping his strong arms around me and pulling me into his chest. I slide sideways onto his lap, allowing my own arms to wrap around his torso.

….

I don't know how long we sit there like that. I know I shed more tears, that soak into his shirt and I feel him kiss the top of my head and hold me tighter against him. It's when I start to shiver from the cooling night breeze that he once again drops a tender kiss on my hair and, with a sigh, tells me we should head back.

I slowly pull away from him, instantly missing the contact.

He looks me in the face. "Where are you staying? Can I see you again later? Maybe you could come to my place? We could talk some more?"

His questions tumble over each other and the thought of him saying goodbye to me fills me with a sense of loss, so I gave a small nod. "I'd like that," I say with a small smile.

He continues to look at me, as if searching for something in my face.

"Fuck it," he exclaims, "I'm not ready to say goodbye yet. Therapy isn't anywhere near from being over. Come to my place now, please?"

As his eyes plead with me to say yes, I realized there is no way I can do otherwise while he is looking at me like that. Besides I don't want to, so I just gave him another small nod.

His face lights up in a huge smile, a smile I wish I could return, and he lifts me slowly from his lap before standing, stretching out his back and then offering his hand to me.

We walk back along the beach hand in hand. There is no need at this point for more words. I just continue to enjoy the feel of his skin against mine.

* * *

 **A/N** Thank you so much to everyone reading this story of mine. It's about 3/4 written and I promise it will all get posted. I'm doing a lot of editing of the early chapters, with the help of my beta, Robstenfanpire, so will be updating once a week, usually on a Wednesday. I'm a day early this week as my kids are off school tomorrow so I'm likely to be busy entertaining them. Eid Mubarak to all my Muslim friends out there.

If you have any questions about this story (i.e. will it be a HEA) then just drop me a PM or a review and I will get you an answer.

Till next week, keep well, MT


	4. Chapter 4 - Midnight Swimming

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 4 – Midnight Swimming**

I look out over the LA city lights, glittering like a thousand jewels. The view from the master bedroom's balcony is spectacular, but then again, everything about this mysterious stranger's house, and indeed him, is spectacular. I feel his strong arms wrap around me from behind and I feel safe. He makes me feel safe. Which is strange, considering I've only known him for a few short hours. Hell, I still didn't even know his name. But it doesn't matter, he's my CM, my Cocktail Man.

I look down into the courtyard below us, taking in the rich vegetation and the smell of Jasmine as a cooling breeze carries the fragrance up to us. In the middle of the courtyard is a large pool, with a hot tub set into one of the corners. It is shaped like a kidney bean, the edge decorated with a Greek looking mosaic pattern and under the water line the tiles appear to be a mixture of blues and greens. Around it are dotted sun loungers, sporting stripped cushions again in green and blue, and several potted plants. It looks very inviting.

My host notices where my eyes have wandered, "We could take a dip if you wanted," he suggests.

"I don't have a swimsuit." I respond.

"We don't need to wear them. The garden is very secluded and not overlooked at all. No one would see us." CM suggests.

"We'd see us." I close my eyes. The idea of seeing more of his body briefly tempts me, but there is no way I'm letting this perfect specimen of manhood see my flabby untoned figure.

"Ok, a compromise. I'll lend you a t-shirt to wear. I'll strip to my boxers." He offers.

"But don't you have a swim trunks?"

"But where's the fun in that?" His eyes crinkle as he gives me a playful smirk.

I shake my head and let him take me by the hand, leading me back through the house and out to the garden.

The house we wander through is amazing. I'd been completely in awe as we'd approached it earlier that evening. It is within a gated community and the driver had to show his ID to the security guard before being allowed entry. As we approached the façade, I'd taken in its grandeur and size. The front was painted a brilliant white, accented by a black trellis around the eaves and black railings in front the balconies. Across the trellis, I could make out some sort of trailing vine that wove its way across the house and down the front, softening what could have otherwise been a stark exterior.

The path to the ornate front door, which was also covered by the black metal trellis, was slightly overgrown with large bushes of vibrant pink flowers. As he unlocked and opened the door, I took in the impressive entrance hall. It stretched up to the upper floor and matched the black and white color scheme of the front of the house. The floor was tiled and dotted with potted plants that, just like the vines outside, stopped the house from looking sterile and cold.

I'd been given a quick tour of downstairs, taking in a large lounge area, a huge modern kitchen that opened out into a big dining and family area, before being swept past rooms that I was told held a study, music room and TV room. He then pulled me excitedly upstairs, telling me he wanted to show me something.

I'd followed apprehensively. Is this when I find out I've been brought back to be his sex slave? Okay, maybe I'd been reading too much recently!

As he opened a door at the end of the upstairs hallway, I held my breath. But instead of torture implements, I saw a fairly ordinary master bedroom. I say ordinary and it was, in that it held a nicely dressed bed, a chest of draws and a TV on the wall, just like my bedroom back home. But that is where the similarity ended. This room was at least twice the size of my room, as was the TV. The carpet under my feet was thick and plush. The furnishings looked like they came from the ideal home magazine. I noticed three doors along one wall, that I guessed lead to his and her closets and a private bathroom.

So was this what he was so excited to show me? His bedroom? It was nice, but I couldn't see what was so special, unless it was what he planned to do to me here. I found the thought of him throwing me onto the bed and taking me both terrifying and strangely thrilling. But I didn't have time to linger on those thoughts long before I was pulled across the room, to the large glass doors that allowed us access to a long balcony, that stretched the length of the back of the house.

"This is what made me move here," He stated simply, allowing me to step out on to the balcony and take in the view. He was right, it was breath taking and deserved his excitement.

…..

I try to take in more of the house as we make our way back down and out to the pool. But it is hard to take in too much detail, as my host has not yet turned on any of the main lights. Everything is being observed in the dim lighting entering the house from the garden, where soft fairy lights and floor level stud lights gave the space a magical feel.

Despite the late hour, the temperature outside was still pleasant.

"So, are you up for it?" He asks with a quirk of his eyebrows, breaking me out of my contemplations.

I bite my lip and just nod. He gives me a cheeky lopsided smile that, despite my reservations and my knowledge, still excites me, making me feel things a married, or recently widowed woman, should not be feeling. I feel my heart speed up and I swallow hard to push down the inappropriate feelings.

I then watch, with eyes like saucers, as he proceeds to first remove his t-shirt and then his shoes, socks and pants. Leaving him standing in front of me in just his boxer shorts. All the while his eyes do not leave mine and I find myself once again mesmerized, captured by his penetrating stare as I fail miserably to not let my mind leap to the all the things I could do to his body.

As he stands up, I can't resist looking him over. I first take in his well-toned, but not overly muscular chest, with just a slight dusting of curly hair. My eyes wandered down, over his stomach, that shows the faint outline of a six pack in the dim light. He is slender, and well proportioned. My eyes continue down, to rest on the snug boxer briefs he's wearing, where I can just make out the outline of his manhood, and it looks like it wouldn't disappoint. My mouth goes dry, as my mind once again goes to places I know it shouldn't. At the sight of him, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to suppress my inappropriate feelings.

Then I realized I've stood there for several minutes, obviously just checking him out, in particular I've been obviously checking out his package. My eyes quickly shoot up to his face, as a blush spreads rapidly through my cheeks and I let out a small gasp of embarrassment.

"I..I'm sorry." I stutter at him, dying inside of humiliation. He just smirks back at me.

"Your turn." He states simply.

I blink at him, suddenly pulled out of my musings. Did he expect me to get naked _now_? In front of him. Not going to happen. I know this is double standards, and he's shown me his, so I suppose it would be only fair I show him mine etc. etc. But sorry, no. Beside, his is worth showing off. He has a body most women would drool over at the drop of a hat, or a towel, as I'd probably just demonstrated, whilst I have a body that has certainly seen better days.

I'm not sure what emotions are crossing my face, but he obviously finds them amusing and gives a small chuckle, before handing me the tee shirt he'd been wearing and turning around so his back is to me.

"Don't worry, I'll give you some privacy." His voice sounds playful and I'm relieved he isn't going to make a big deal out of my ogling, or my obvious fear of him seeing me change.

I let out a sigh of relief and quickly strip off my dress and throw on the tee shirt, allowing it to fall around my thighs. As I pull it over my head, I get a lungful of his scent. I'd taken it in earlier, on the beach, as I'd nestled into his side, but now it is all consuming. It is a fresh out-doors smell, like woods with a hint of cinnamon and leather, and it is pure man. It is him. I find myself feeling a little light headed, as I breath him in deeply, finding the smell to be comforting and arousing all at once.

"Ready?" He asks after a moment, as I adjusted the hem of the shirt, wondering if it shows too much of my legs. The shirt is too big for me so it falls loosely over my body, which I am grateful for. But the large size also means it hangs off one of my shoulders no matter how I much I adjust it. I've left my bra and underpants on. After all, I'm not risking the shirt riding up in the pool.

"Yep," I reply, taking a deep breath as he turns round.

"It suits you," he says as he looks me up and down, much like I had him, and as his eyes meet mine there seems to be something in their depths, something that again speaks to my core and pulls me in, making me feel things I should not be feeling.

He lets out a slow breath between his lips, before taking my hand and leading me towards the steps into the pool.

The water is lovely, just the right temperature to relax my tired muscles and I enjoy gently floating and swimming around. Cocktail Man is never far from my side and I enjoy the feel of him taking my hand, or wrapping an arm around me and drawing me close to his side. A couple times, I catch him watching me, with a strange look in his eye that I just can't quite read.

Before long we find ourselves sitting back in the hot tub, relaxing as the bubbles swirl around us. His arm lies along the edge of the pools top, his long elegant fingers gently playing with my hair. The feel was so relaxing, I find my eyes closing.

"Do you wish you had a closer relationship with your family?" We've been silent for a while, just enjoying the feel of the water and his question takes me by surprise.

"Sometimes," I shrug, keeping my eyes closed, as I feel the relaxing bubbles sooth my tired muscles, "but it's always been this way, you just learn to accept that's the way things are. Take my dad, Charlie, we didn't live together much growing up and when we did it was difficult. I suppose I didn't help much. I tended to keep myself, getting lost in books. I still do."

"Even though I'm living near my dad now, I find I'm struggling to get close to him," I finish sadly.

"Why do you think that is?" CM asks.

I ponder for a moment, allowing my head to fall back against his arm. I'm half asleep as I answer.

"I'd like to be closer to him. Perhaps I'm scared he'll be gone again, eventually people always go. I guess I'm not really letting him in. In fact, since I lost Jake, I think I've struggled to let anyone in. Not my family or my friends."

"You seem to be letting me in." He states gently.

I turn to look at him through heavy eyes. "You broke down my defenses with alcohol and sleep deprivation. You didn't play fair."

"You're right, Beautiful." He smiles gently. "But I think it's time to let you get some rest. Come on, let me get you dried and changed."

He once again takes my hand and I reluctantly allow him to lead me from the water, towards a part of the house that juts out from the side of the main building. As we walk, the cool night breeze hits my wet body and I start to shiver. Noticing, he hurries me along and into a warm sunroom, with more loungers looking out through large windows towards the pool. I am soon wrapped in a lovely big fluffy towel, that envelopes me like a cocoon. Barely awake at this point, I allow him to rub the towel over my body to dry me.

"We'll soon get you warmed up, but first we have to get you out of these wet clothes," he say, removing the towel and reaching to lift up my shirt.

Panic hits me and my eyes open wide as I wake up fully and almost scream at him, "No!"

He looks me right in the eyes, curious and concerned.

"What's wrong, Beautiful?"

His hand reaches out and cups my cheek, brushing his thumb under my eye, trying to ease the panic he no doubt sees there.

"It's ok," he reassures, "there is nothing you can show me that will make me run. I'm not leaving. I'm here for you. You're a beautiful person, inside and out, and you don't have to hide from me."

"But...," I start, but I don't know how to continue.

He looks at me questioningly, "Tell me."

How can I put into words my feelings about this god like person seeing my less than perfect body?

"You're so beautiful," I start and it makes him smile, "and so young. You must be at least ten years younger than me. How old are you anyway?"

He chuckles, "I'm twenty-seven, so I very much doubt I'm ten years younger than you. You can't be more than thirty-five."

"I'm thirty-eight and flattery will not get me out of this tee shirt." He laughs again, before narrowing his eyes and fixing me in his gaze.

"I wasn't flattering you. You look younger than your years. Now, what will get you out of that tee shirt then?"

I shake my head at the pure audacity of the man. This is where I draw the line.

"Sorry, but it's not happening, CM."

"CM?" He raises his eyebrow in question.

"Cocktail Man." I explain with a small shrug.

"So that's what you call me?" He says as his face breaks into his now familiar, sexy lopsided grin. A grin that makes me want to rip his boxer shorts off... with my teeth!

"I think I like it. So explain to me why this shirts not coming off?" He adds, refusing to be distracted.

I take a deep breath and try to explain, "I don't have a body like the girls I've seen on the beach here. I'm old, overweight and I've had three children. Have you ever seen the body of a fat middle aged mother?" I ask, allowing a tear to fall. "They don't usually put our bodies in movies or magazines, and we're not quick to show them off on the beach either."

In reply he leans forward and kisses my cheek, right over an escaped tear. It is so gentle and reverent, that I find my eyes closing and I lean into his hand that continues to cup my cheek. He stays close to me, as he plants more small gentle kisses over my cheeks and temples and then he starts to whisper to me.

"So you're not twenty-one anymore, so you aren't a stick thin model, so what. Who said we... who said I, was interested in that? I love that you have feminine curves and the softness in your figure. Of course your body is going to show evidence of the fact you've birth three children; that is not something to be ashamed of. I want you to feel proud of this body. It's part of you and there is nothing wrong with it. As I said, you are beautiful, both inside and out, and I what you to see that. This body is yours and I don't want you to feel embarrassed or ashamed of it, especially not in front of me. It…you… are beautiful."

As he finishes these words he stops his gentle kisses and raises his eyes to mine, I realize he has again taken hold of the hem of my shirt.

"May I?" He asks gently again.

As I look into his eyes, I find once more the only reply I can give is a simple nod. How is this man getting me to do these things? His words, combined with his hypnotic gaze are just cutting though all my defenses, leaving me wide open to him. In that moment, I truly believe that I would do anything for this man.

At my approval, he lifts up the shirt, pulling it over my head, leaving me stood in front of him in just my bra and panties. He is still looking me straight in the eye, and nothing else in the world exists in that moment.

His gaze doesn't falter, as he sits back on a sun lounger and pulls me forward, between his legs. His head is now level with stomach and, still staring up at me, he leans forward and plants a gentle kiss just above my belly button. I draw in a deep breath and close my eyes, as I feel his large hands stretch lightly across my belly. They move across the curves of my stomach and hips, his long fingers trace over the lines of my stretch marks. Then I feel him kiss each one reverently. As he does so, he whispers words about how I should not be ashamed, about my stretch marks being battle scars, evidence of womanhood and my sacrifice for my children. How the roundness of my body, the softness, was to be welcomed. It was a sign; I enjoyed my life and have wonderful curves that show I'm a real woman. My eyes remain closed, as I let his words and the feel of his hands and his mouth on my body envelop me. It's not sexual, but it is very sensual.

Eventually, I feel him rise to his feet, but I leave my eyes closed.

"Beautiful," he whispers.

I feel his hands brush gently up my sides, coming to rest on my shoulders.

"So beautiful," he repeats in a hushed voice and I open my eyes to see his penetrating stare. I can see no hint of a lie in his expression. "Never believe you're not beautiful," and in that moment I believe him.

* * *

A/N It was ready and I was impatient so I decide to post on Tuesday again. Thank you to everyone who is reading this story.


	5. Chapter 5 - The Morning After

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5 - The Morning After**

I wake slowly the next day, realizing I've had the best night's sleep in ages. I'm lying on the most comfortable bed I've ever slept on and there is a feather light comforter over me. I snuggle in taking in the scent of lavender. Then I feel the weight of an arm around me. Cocktail Man's arm, holding me close, and my memories of the previous night flood back to me. Several parts feel like a dream and I wonder for a moment, if they were real or some sort of alcohol induced hallucination. They definitely weren't things I would normally do. But then waking up in the arms of a total stranger was also something I wouldn't normally do. I think back to how I'd gotten here, in his arms, in his bed.

After getting almost naked by the pool, he had pulled me in for a long tight hug. It was an innocent hug, one that made me feel protected and from the way he clung to me, I felt he needed it as much as I did. During the embrace, his hands remained firmly around my back and we just held each other close.

Eventually, I couldn't hold back a large yawn and he chuckled, "It's late, you need to get some rest." He pulled back from me and led me up to his bedroom. Once there, he quickly entered one of the walk in closets and returned with a clean pairs of boxers and another of his tee shirts.

"Are you ok with sleeping in these?" he asked.

I nodded, taking them from him.

He took hold of my free hand and looked in my eyes. "I know it's asking a lot, but you can share my bed if you like. I miss having someone to cuddle," he admitted, almost shyly, "and I promise I'll be the perfect gentleman."

His eyes shimmered and I knew I could trust him. Those hypnotic eyes make me feel safe, I found myself once again nodding in acceptance.

"It would be nice to not sleep alone," I confessed, feeling like I didn't want to let this man out of my reach just yet. I had an irrational fear that he would cease to exist if I let him out of my sight; that I would discover he was a figment of my grief addled brain.

He smiled broadly, like a little boy on Christmas morning.

"You can use the bathroom to change," he indicated the middle of the three doors, "and there should also be a spare toothbrush in the cabinet."

I nodded and went to get ready for bed. As I did, his confession about missing having someone to cuddle went around in my mind and made me wonder about his past and his secrets. He'd been very good at getting me to tell my secrets, but I knew nothing about him. I hoped more than anything that I'll get the chance to know this man more.

I came back into the bedroom to find him already in the bed, with sheet folded back slightly on my side, inviting me in. I climbed in beside him and he wrapped his arms around me, before kissing me gently on the top of my head. As my eyes closed and I finally found sleep, I think I heard him whisper, "Thank you".

…..

As I lie in his bed this morning, I think back over everything that's happened. To say I'm shocked to be lying in bed with a practical stranger is an understatement. After the death of Jacob, I'd not allowed myself to ponder the future very often. But when I did, I'd imagined that if I were ever to wake up next to a man again it would be a very long time in the future. I imagined it would probably involve a man of a similar age as me, probably a divorcee who had as much baggage as I did so didn't mind taking on a widow with three children.

To find myself wrapped up in the arms of an extremely handsome younger man seems quite surreal, but also strangely right.

The fact that nothing happened between us, that we both seemed to only be looking for company, makes me feel more comfortable. Rather than how I would have imagined I'd feel in this situation: embarrassed, confused and guilty.

As I lie there pondering the previous evening, I suddenly feel a light kiss on my shoulder and a nose snuggle into my hair.

"Are you awake?" he murmurs sleepily.

"Yeah," I reply, turning to face him in the dim light escaping through his thick curtains. As I do my stomach growls.

"It sounds like you have needs," he chuckles.

"I'm going to grab a quick shower. I'll use the one in the guest room, so you can use the bathroom in here. I'll then get started on breakfast. Do you want me to bring your clothes up from yesterday?"

My faces scrunches up at the thought of wearing my clothes from the bar last night, which makes him chuckle.

"Or, my sister keeps a load of her clothes in the room across the hall for the nights she stays over. I'm sure she won't mind if you borrow something. In fact she has so many clothes she'd probably never notice." He rolls his eyes as he talks of his sister, before kissing me on the tip of my nose and rolling out of bed.

I have to confess; I watch his ass as he leaves. But it is such a good ass, you can't blame a girl for staring a little. He looks back as he exits the door and the smile on his face tells me he knows I was looking. I roll back on the bed, embarrassed, but happy. In fact, this is the happiest I've felt in months. It seems my cocktail man was right, the discussion last night really helped. Perhaps there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Once I've finished showering, I discover my clothes and bag waiting for me on the bed. I rummage in his draws to find a pair of fresh boxers. There is no way I want to wear my underwear from yesterday for a second day. Besides, I like the idea of wearing something of his. Then I throw his shirt back on and wander across the hall to discover what clothes his sister has available.

I open the closet and freeze. He said his sister kept a few things here. This is not a few things. The closet is bursting. How can one person own this many items of clothing? This isn't even her house. If she has this, what must her closet look like in her own place?

I start pulling out items randomly. There are a multitude of different styles and most seem to be designer. I check the labels. It would appear CM's sister is a lot smaller than me. I start to doubt I'm going to find anything here to fit.

Then I spot it. It's a dress I recognize. It's long, flowing and has an intricate multicolored design. This dress is an exact copy of the dress worn by the singer Alice Cullen in her latest music video. I know this because Kim and Jared are fans of Alice's music and make me watch her videos over and over again on youtube. Is CM's sister a fan? Why would she have a dress made up like the one in the video? It's not the most practical of dresses.

I pop back to the bedroom to retrieve my phone, hurriedly googling images of Alice Cullen.

Yep, there it is, a picture from the video of Alice wearing this exact dress. I was right. I quickly glance at the other pictures of Alice on the screen, then one catches my eye. It's a picture of my cocktail man with his arm around Alice Cullen. Shit, he knows Alice! Then my brain starts to click into gear. I will my hungover brain cells into action. So Alice Cullen must be Cocktail Man's sister. Fuck me backwards. That means the man whose bed I slept in last night, my Cocktail Man, must be none other than Edward Cullen, the actor who shot to fame after appearing in the Secret Passion series of films. I quickly google the name of the actor and there is picture after picture of my Cocktail Man looking extremely handsome, at premieres, leaving nightclubs, film shoots, hell, just walking down the street.

How did I not recognize him before? I mean this guy is huge at the moment. I haven't been to the movies in ages and I don't keep up with celebrity magazines or gossip. I had meant to get around to watching the Secret Passion films on Netflicks, after my friend Angela raved about them so much, but I'd just never got around to it.

I sit down on the bed and will my heart to slow down. I look down at the bed, where I just spent a night with Edward Cullen, famous movie star. What do I do now that I know who he is? Then it hits me. It doesn't matter who he is. I spent a night in the arms of a wonderful, caring man, who allowed me to unburden my heart. Who made me realize I have a future, not just a past. It doesn't matter what his name is. He is still the same person to me.

I go back to Alice's closet and attempt to find some clothes to wear. Eventually, I discover a patterned long hanging top that looks good one me. I couple it with a pair of yoga pants that have some good stretch to them. I'm glad for the length of the top that reach mid thigh, no one needs to see my thighs and butt in yoga pants.

I make my way downstairs, following the smell of cooking bacon. As I enter the kitchen, I see my Cocktail Man standing at the stove over a frying pan. He looks just the same as he did last night. I quickly remind myself, he has not changed just because I now know he is famous.

As I watch him working, I suddenly realize it's the first time I've seen him in a bright light and it's a glorious sight. The sunlight streaming through the kitchen window is catching his hair and highlighting the different shades of copper and bronze. I take a moment to just admire the view. He's wearing a tight fitting black shirt above a pair of low hanging jeans that hug his ass and show off all his assets.

I shake myself out of my trance, as I walk in and sit down at the breakfast bar. He glances over his shoulder at me, giving me a broad smile and he once again stuns me with his beauty.

"Bacon and scrambled eggs," he announces, "the best food for a hangover."

"Good choice," I agree, "Although, I feel like we should be eating lunch rather than breakfast." I glance at the clock and realize it is already half way through the afternoon. We really had slept in.

He glances over at me again, "How are you feeling?"

"Surprisingly well," I answer with a half-smile. It's true, I do feel good. It's amazing what a good solid stretch of sleep can do to your mood.

He loads up two plates with a mountain of eggs and bacon and brings them over to the counter, before grabbing two forks.

"Thanks," I say, as I dig in hungrily. He smiles at me before digging into his own.

As we eat, I watch him out the corner of my eye and I contemplate how to let him know I've discovered who he is.

He catches me watching him.

"What?" he enquires, with a panty dropping crooked smile. God this man will be the death of me.

Right, time to confirm the truth.

"You know, I still don't know your name, Cocktail Man."

"And I don't know yours either Beautiful," he counters, whilst studying my face and I study his back. Then, almost as if it belongs to someone else, I see my hand reach up and my fingertips follow the contour of his cheek and down his chin line. They then wonder over his eyebrows and he quirks one at me in question. My eyes are drawn up to his hair.

It is still wet from his shower and looks like it would be hard to tame. I get an overwhelming urge to run my fingers through it. The thought makes me smile and my hand goes up into his hair, as if it has a mind of its own. God, it is so soft. My hands make his sexy tousled locks even more disheveled and that makes me smile. A big genuine smile.

His face lights up and he leans forward, placing the softest of kisses on the corner of my left eye.

"That's what I was looking for," he smiles back at me, "I knew it would be worth waiting for."

* * *

A/N - This is an early update as you will be getting two chapters this week. The chapter was getting long and I was advised by my Beta to split it in two as it comes in two natural parts. So here is part 1. Part 2 should be out on Wednesday.

So please Read, Review and Recommend. I hope you enjoy it.

I have also set up a facebook page for my writing. It is under the name Mountain Top. I've included in there pictures of how I imagined Edwards house, the beach etc. I will be adding more as we go through the story. Check me out.


	6. Chapter 6 - Visiting Friends

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6 - Friends**

He takes my hand and pulls me off my seat, leading me towards the door at the side of the kitchen, that he'd mentioned yesterday leads to the garage.

"Where are we going?" I giggle.

"Out!" he replies.

"A couple friends invited me over this afternoon. We need to get out the house. It'll do you a world of good to spend time with people, and not just me. Let you know there is fun to be had in the world. They're good people, they'll like you."

"Okay." Who am I to argue?

He leads me over to a sporty looking car and helps me in before taking the driver's seat.

As he pulls out of the gated community, he takes hold of my hand. resting it over the central console. I welcome the touch and the feel of his fingers rubbing against my knuckles. It feels comforting.

"So, who are these friends?" I ask as we pull away.

"You'll see," is all he says with a mischievous smile.

As we approach the house, the door flies open and the most beautiful, glamorous blond I've ever seen walks out. She looks like she should be a model. I suddenly feel self-conscious of my five foot two statue and lack of make-up. I remember I let my hair dry naturally this morning and realize it probably resembles a bird's nest. A small wave of panic shots through me. How can I hang out with these beautiful people? I'm just plain and ordinary. Then I feel a gentle squeeze to my hand and I look up into the eyes of my Cocktail Man, and his smile reassured me that everything is okay.

"So, it's true," she says, a huge smile spreading across her face, "Emmett told me you were bringing a friend."

"Hi Rosalie, it's good to see you too," he laughs, giving her a quick one armed hug and a brief peck on the cheek. "Let me introduce the beautiful ..." and he looks at me, obviously realizing he has no way to introduce me.

I smile at him and bite my lip, teasing him briefly with my silence, before I put him out of his misery. "Bella," I say shaking her hand, before looking back at his eyes. " _Edward_ , didn't seem to think names were necessary!" I make sure to emphasize the use of his name.

He momentarily looks a bit shocked, but then a slow smile creeps across his face as I continued to grin at him. "I was right though, you are Beautiful. By name and in person."

Rosalie gives us a funny look. "I'm sure I'll find out the full story later," she says dismissively before adding, "for now come on in," and she ushers us into the house.

As we enter Edward wraps an arm around my waist and leans into my ear to whisper, "I'm still loving that smile. I really can't get enough of it."

"I'll let Emmett know you're here, make yourselves at home. Edward knows where everything is." Rosalie interrupts our moment before leaving the room.

"So, when did you figure out who I was?" he asks in a low voice.

"It was when I was looking through your sisters clothes. I recognized one of the dresses and after a search on Google, truth came out," I reply with a smile.

He smiles back and it makes my spirits high. I'm glad he doesn't mind me knowing who he is. I mean it was going to have to come out at some point eventually. I realize how happy I'm feeling after only a few hours in this man's company. Then I'm hit with a wave of guilt.

Edward obviously notices my face fall as I see concern sweep across his.

Before I can protest, he takes my hand and leads me out of the room, towards the back of the house. I'm too startled to protest and so just follow on behind, wondering where he is taking me and why.

As we pass the stairs. I notice a large muscular man descending, holding a young child in his arms.

"Hi Emmett," Edward throws the words back over his shoulder as we hurry past, "Bella and I are just going for a little talk outside, we shouldn't be long."

"Um... Yeah... Sure. We'll see you both in a minute," replies a very puzzled looking Emmett.

"Is that Emmett McCarty?" I hiss as CM continues to pull me along with him.

"Oh, so him you recognize without the use of google. I'm hurt Beautiful."

I shrug. "He was in that series of marvel super hero films. Jake was a fan."

Edward leads me out the back of the house before closing the door and turning to look at me.

"So, we're back in therapy." CM says as we step out.

"Therapy?" I'm still trying to get my head around the quick change of scene and the rush through the house.

"You were happy," he says, "it was written all over your face, and then you weren't. I need to know why. What did I do wrong?"

I let out a deep sigh and look down at my feet.

"Please, don't do that Beautiful. Don't look down, don't look away from me. I need to see your eyes. I need to know what you're feeling. Please speak to me."

I look back up at him and his eyes show nothing but concern. I trust this guy, but it is still so hard to open up. Stood here in the cold light of day. It had been so much easier last night, when he was just my handsome stranger, my cocktail man, on the beach.

"This was easier when I was drunk." I say, half joking.

"I could get you a couple shots if you'd like." He jokes along.

I give a small smile in response and the corner of CM's mouth curls up into the half smile. The same smile that does things to me; things I a recently widowed woman should feel.

That's the problem. Guilt. Even though my husband is dead, I still feel married. My husband is the one who is supposed to make me feel desired, to feel turned on. He's the one who is supposed to light up my day and make me smile. Not a man who I let pick me up in a bar.

"I'm sorry. It's just still hard to be happy, especially to feel happy with another man, especially a handsome man who makes me feel things only my husband should make me feel..." I trail off in embarrassment over revealing too much. I can feel my face turning a bright shade of red, as I look down at the floor.

He gently strokes my cheek, before lifting my face back up to look him in the eyes again.

"So I make you feel things?" The wicked smirk on his face helps break the tension I was feeling. "Are they naughty things?" he playfully adds.

"Shut up," I reply, giving my head a small shake.

He leans down close to my ear. So close I can feel his warm breath tickling my neck, "You make me feel things too."

With his words my heart starts pounding loudly in my chest. What was I supposed to do with this? Here was the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen and he's saying, what, I make him feel things? But I'm a lot older than him, plain looking with a frumpy overweight body. Even with the way he acted last night, I still can't bring myself to believe someone like him can find someone like me attractive. I know he is working hard to not only make me feel happier, but to also lift my self-esteem. But it will only come crashing back down again when the illusion is shattered and I wake up to realize I am still boring, ordinary little old me.

"Don't say things like that, please. Don't try and make me believe things that aren't real, things you don't mean." I say getting a little annoyed.

He pulls back and looks me in the eyes. I see concern, curiosity and perhaps a touch of hurt in his eyes.

"What makes you think I don't mean them?" He asks hurt.

"How could you? Look at you. Look at the life you have. Look at your friends. This is all so out of my league. You could have practically any woman in the world. I'm just ordinary, plain, and old."

"No." It was a simple word and he delivered like a command. "You are not ordinary." He sounds angry and I worry what is coming next.

"Everything I've said to you, both last night and today, I believed. You are a beautiful, wonderful, inspiring person." The force of his declaration shakes me and I find it hard to not believe him. Does he really feel this way about me?

"I know you've had a hard time recently, but I need you to believe what I tell you. I need you to believe you're worth it. You're worth my attention. We all suffer from low self-esteem now and then, even top models like Rosalie. I know at the moment you are feeling low, but please don't question the truth of what I say to you. I mean every word, I promise."

He looks at me with such sincerity that I nod my head at what he's saying.

"Thank you," I say simply.

He gives a small smile and pulls me into a big hug, I find myself melting into his arms once again. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of security that floods over me.

"What am I going to do with you?" He mumbles before planting a kiss on my hair.

He leans back looking down at me, "Feeling any better?"

"Much." I confirm.

"Ready to face my friends, who are giving us strange looks from the kitchen window?"

I give a small giggle. "They must think we're mad."

"Probably, well… me anyway."

"So I take it it's not every day you show up here with strange women whose names you don't know?"

"Not every day... Just a couple times a month," he jokes smiling at me, whilst biting on his lower lip in a way that makes me what to suck on it.

God, I really have to get my head out of the bedroom. It's not going to happen, now is not the time, I'm still grieving. But if I wasn't...

Stop it. Stop thinking like that. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

"Come on." He once again takes my hand and leads me back into the house and to the kitchen where Rosalie and Emmett are busying themselves, a little girl of perhaps three of four perched on the counter between them. As she smiles shyly at me I notice she has Rosalie's hair, but Emmett's dimples.

"So..." says Emmett, looking questioningly at Edward.

"So..." repeats Edward, with his wicked lop sided smile.

"So..." Emmett pauses again, leaning back on the kitchen counter, as if trying to find the right question to start the interrogation with. "How did you too meet?"

"We ran into each other in the bar last night after you left," Edward answers simply.

"And now you're best buddies?"

"Something like that," Edward responds. "Come on Beautiful, let me get you a drink."

"Mines a beer," Emmett yells after us as Edward leads me by the hand towards the living room and the wet bar grabbing us both a bottle of beer.

As he hands it to me our eyes lock and I feel like he is reaching down into my soul and unlocking the very essence of who I am. I've told this man more about myself in the last twenty-four hours then I've told anyone in my whole life. I've lain myself bare for him, all my insecurities, worries and fears, and he's told me so little about himself. Yet I feel like I know him. I know of his kindness, his need for privacy, that he also suffers from insecurities and I know he now has the power to hurt me and to hurt me bad, but I don't believe he would, and in that moment I don't feel vulnerable, I feel safe.

"So what's taking you so long with my beer, not mixing up cocktails are you?" Emmett brakes our spell as he enters the room. The mention of cocktails though sets us both of laughing, as we remember the outrageous drink Edward bought for me the previous evening.

"No cocktails, Emmett. Cocktails are for when you're sad, today we are happy and drinking beer." Edward hands Emmett a freshly opened beer bottle. Emmett gives us another curious look, as we giggle together like a couple of school kids.

"You too are just too cute together with your insider jokes and little looks," says Rosalie from the door way. "Well I hope you're hungry, because dinner is ready and I've made loads."

"I'm going to get to the bottom of what's going on with you two if it's the last thing I do," declares Emmett as we all follow Rosalie through to the dining area where I see the table laid up with a large tray of lasagna, salad and garlic bread. The smell is heavenly and my stomach starts to rumble embarrassingly. Edward, however, only laughs and reaching over he strokes my belly, as if to appease it as he slips his other arm around my waist.

"Better let the fat girl eat." I mumble quietly in a voice only he can hear.

He shakes his head and looks at me reproachfully. "Womanly, shapely, curvaceous," each word rolls off his tongue like they are the sexiest words on the planet and my mouth goes dry as my panties get wet. "Never fat. Okay?" He finishes off.

I nod, "Okay."

He leads me to a seat and takes the one next to me, before reaching for the lasagna tray and serving me and himself two giant portions.

"God, I'm hungry, it must be all the physical activity from last night," he blurts out. I've just taken a slip of beer and promptly spit it back out again taking in the shocked looks of Rosalie and Emmett.

"I knew it," shouts Emmett, "Rosie you owe me fifty bucks."

"What?" Edward says, looking around at our shocked faces. Then realization hits and his eyes go wide. "Swimming, I mean we went swimming last night. I'm sorry Beautiful," he says turning to me, "I didn't mean to imply that you and I had... well... you know. God I'm so sorry..."

"CM, you are so adorable." I declared and give him a big smacking peck on his pouting lips.

His eyes widened in shock and I realize what I've done, it is my turn for my eyes to widen to match his and I push my lips together to keep them contained. We just stare at each other for a moment and then his lips start to curl up, I find mine following suit and before I know it we both collapse into another fit of giggles.

What was this man doing to me? I was giggling like a school girl and feeling like a teenage asked to her first dance. I was giddy with endorphins and he was the cause. I couldn't believe how depressed I'd been only the day before, and here I was feeling pure joy. It was exhilarating and I wanted more. But I only had a week left. I resolved in that moment to make the most of the short time I had with this extraordinary man.

The rest of the afternoon followed without too many major incidents. I find, once I relax, that Emmett and Rosalie are really very nice and not half as intimidating as I first thought. Emmett has a wicked sense of humor and Rosalie balances him beautifully, not allowing him to take his jokes too far, and the two of them are obviously so in love. Their daughter, Bree, is delightful, and at that age where she asks the funniest questions. She seems to have a close relationship with Edward, who she calls 'Unc Ed', and I can tell from their interactions that he'll be a great dad one day.

Edward and I continue to share little moments and he never once lets me leave his side. Throughout dinner his hand is either holding mine under the table, or he would lay it across the back of my chair, allowing his fingers to play with the hair at the nape of my neck.

I find this touches both comforting and exciting. It is getting harder and harder to ignore the fact that I find Edward sexually attractive. But I resolved not to let things progress. I know if we became physically intimate, I'd only live to regret it.

I have to fly back to Washington at the weekend. I'm in no position to start a relationship, especially a long distance one with someone who is constantly hounded by the press. I have no desire to be in the limelight and can think of nothing worse than being chased by a bunch of paparazzi. The thought of having all my secrets spread across the Internet and gossip magazines is my idea of a nightmare.

So as much as I would love to grab Edward by his sexy bed hair and pull his lips to mine in a passionate kiss, before dragging him off to the bedroom for a night of what I'm sure would be unbelievable sex, it isn't going to happen. I am not a twenty year old student with no responsibilities who is ruled by her libido. I'm a thirty-eight year old mother of three. I need to be ruled by reason and good sense.

But boy, I bet it would be good sex!

At the end of the evening, Edward drove us back to his place. I didn't even question whether I was sleeping over with him again. I also didn't question which bed I was sleeping in.

I used Edward's laptop to put in a quick skype call to my family, before brushing my teeth and putting on Edward's tee shirt and boxers. I come out of the bathroom to see him lying in the bed waiting for me. He pulls back the covers and beckons me over. As I snuggled up with my head resting on his chest, I can't help feeling this was where I currently belong and I drift peacefully off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7 - Getting to Know You

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

Chapter 7 – Getting to know you

I wake up late again the next morning. My first realization is that, for the second night in a row, I have slept through with no bad dreams. Gone is the usual melancholy from having spent a good portion of the night crying into my pillow and instead, for the first time in weeks, I feel refreshed and content.

The second realization is the arm and leg flung over me preventing me from moving. I am lying on my back and Edward's hand is resting across me securely cupping my breast through my tee shirt. It is a strange position to be in, but also comforting.

However, my third realization is that I desperately need to visit the bathroom and this isn't going to be easy to accomplish with Edward positioned over me.

I slowly start to lift his arm and slide my legs out from under his. I'm nearly free, and convinced I'm going to be able to slip out of the bed and return without disturbing him when his arm reaches out and grabs me, pulling me in tight to his body.

"And where do you think you're going?" he rumbles in a deep sleepy voice, "Do you really think I'd let you get away that easily?"

I feel his stubbly chin against my neck and then he kisses me gently behind my ear with his soft lips. "You smell so good," he murmurs.

"And you tickle," I squirm as his beard finds my sensitive spot, "I need to pee."

Tell it like it is. No point beating around the bush.

Edward groans pitifully and rolls off me. "Don't be long," he calls after me as I head for the bathroom.

Once I've relieved myself, I look in the mirror whilst washing my hands and I'm surprised by the changes compared to the image that greeted me two mornings ago. Gone are the bags under my eyes and red puffiness. My skin somehow looks more alive, like there is an internal glow that lights up my features from within.

There is a slight blush to my cheeks, and the corners of my mouth involuntarily turn up as I think about the man in the next room; the man who has bought about these changes in me.

I go and stand in the door of the bathroom and look across at Edward, my cocktail man, as he lies still in the bed. His eyes are closed and his lips are slightly pouted whilst his hair stands up above his head in its usual disarray. The sheets have fallen down slightly, giving me a good view of his lightly toned chest. It is a wonderful sight and I take it in.

"Are you going to stand there all day looking at me or are you coming back to bed?" he asks and I realized I've been caught staring.

He raises his head slightly to take me in as I lean against the bathroom door frame. "Not that you don't look good standing there with those gorgeous legs on display and that silly grin on your face."

Seeing the silly grin on _his_ face and hearing his teasing words, my grin spreads even further and I can think of nowhere I'd rather be then lying next to him.

"So what do you want to do today?" I ask as he wraps his arms around me, after I climb back into bed.

"A lazy day I think." Edward answers with a sleepy voice.

"How lazy?" I reply.

"The kind of lazy where we don't even get dressed. Where we spend the day in our night clothes, watching movies, talking and eating junk food."

"Sounds like a good plan CM."

..…

It turns out Edward has an extensive movie collection and is a real movie buff. As he tells me about the films we are going to watch, I can see the genuine passion in his eyes. He talks about directors and actors he admires. Highlights scenes where the cinematography was particularly catching, making me appreciate the movie in a new way. He gives me a new understanding of how the director has manipulated the camera shots, the lighting and the even the props to make the audience feel a certain way and bring out the story and the characters' emotions.

We start out watching a netflicks film in his bedroom as neither one of us is willing to get up quite yet. But getting hungry, we got food and settled into what Edward's calls his TV room. Which is more like a mini theatre. It seems designed to allow you to immerse yourself fully in the movie, with a nearly wall sized screen and surround sound.

There are a couple times when I glanced over to Edward, only to find him watching me rather than the movie. On these occasions, I either give him a playful nudge before reaching for the popcorn, or just smile and turn back to the film with a small shake of my head. Most things we watch he's seen before, but several of them are new to me. We also watch some classics, including my all-time favorite, Lost Boys.

"So you like a good vampire flick do you?" He asks with a raise of his eyebrow.

"No, can't stand them," I tease. "I just fancy the ass of Keifer Sutherland."

It was the truth, I'd always had a thing for Keifer, since seeing this film when I was young. In fact, I probably first saw it when Edward was still in nappies, but I don't bring that up.

"I've met him, you know?" he replies.

"You have! What's he like? Do you think you'll get to work with him? That would be so cool," I exclaim, allowing my fangirl side to show.

"I don't know if my ego can take a whole film of you drooling over another actor." CM puts on a fake hurt face, pouty lips and all. The strangeness of the situation hits me. I always imagined I'd be the sort of person who would get tongue tied and star struck if I was to actually meet a famous person. Yet here I am, gossiping and joking around with Edward Cullen.

But I find it hard to believe he is famous, to me he is just a sweet, intelligent, and caring man. Yes, he's a drop dead gorgeous movie star, but he is also so much more to me.

"I love the sound track to his film." I distract Edward from my musing, "It was one of the first albums I owned. If you're really lucky, I might start singing along."

"You can sing can you?"

"Not for shit, but that doesn't stop me from trying. I apologize now for the damage to your ear drums. 'When you're strange...Faces come out of the rain'" I holler out, joining in with the line of the opening song, only a little off key, I think.

Edward just looks at me and laughs before joining in. I love that he doesn't mind my awful singing.

He even doesn't mind me joining in with some of the words later on. "Death by stereo." I announce, as another vampire is staked.

"So, do you still have the soundtrack?" He asks as the credits roll.

"No, it was on cassette, not much use in the modern world." I lament.

"Cassette," he smirks, "you really are old aren't you?"

"Fuck off," I yell and throw myself at him, finding the ticklish spot on his ribs. He squirms under me, before managing to grab my wrists. Rapidly he turns the table on me, pinning me to the sofa.

"Please, please," I beg for mercy as he holds my arms above my head, using just one of his big hands, whilst the other mercilessly finds all the sensitive areas of my body.

"Oh Beautiful, if you can't take it you shouldn't give it out," he chuckles, before suddenly jumping up, grabbing me around my waist and throwing me over his shoulder.

"Food time," he announces as he unceremoniously carries me out to the kitchen whilst I slap his ass in an attempt to get him to put me down.

"Pizza I think." He puts me gently onto a stool and hands me the menu and soon we have a fully loaded meat feast on its way.

…

The rest of the day is spent watching more movies, although we talk more then we watch. We find out all the little bits and pieces about each other, nothing deep, today is about silliness and relaxing.

We discover each other's favorite colors (both blue), seasons (spring for me, summer for him), bands, movies and songs. We share funny stories of our childhood. I share some of the strange things my kids have done and anecdotes from my time at college and working as an editor. He talks about how he got into acting and gives me insider gossip from the films he's been in.

It was later in the day that Edward dropped another bomb shell on me. We are in the kitchen grabbing some drinks when I announce that PJ day has been a success, but that I need to go back to the hotel to get some clothes. I am also a little worried they will report me as a missing person soon. I've not been there for the last two nights, and I'm not planning on sleeping there tonight either.

"You won't need clothes tomorrow," he announces.

"And why might that be, CM?"

"Well we don't have plans to be anywhere, so I thought we could just hang out by the pool. I'm sure Alice has a bikini you can borrow upstairs."

Bikini! My nose wrinkles at the idea of me in skimpy clothing.

"Still a little self-conscious about your body?"

Self-conscious, well that's the biggest understatement I've heard.

"I'm also not one for the sun. My skin refuses to tan and I've not worn a bikini since I had Embry."

"All the more reason to do it. Spending a day out in the open, where you can't hide from yourself will help you to feel more at home in your own skin. You need to know it is not something to be ashamed or scared of.

Besides, I need to work on my tan. I start filming a new movie soon and the director has said I need to either get some sun or I will be subjected to a hideous spray tan. You know the garden is very secluded, no one except me will see you."

I think about his words, although I'm still a little nervous about having so much flesh on display, it isn't like he hasn't already seen my imperfections.

This week seems to have morphed from just getting over my depression, following the death of my husband. Edward seems to have moved on to tacking my self-esteem issues. Issues that have crept up on me over the years, as I failed to lose the baby weight and my body changed from that of a twenty-one-year-old to that of a thirty-eight-year-old. However, I don't believe my issues are ones I can overcome in a single day. After all it's taken a lifetime to build them up.

CM seems to sense my continuing reluctance. "What've you got to lose, Beautiful? It's not like I've not seen it before."

"I was extremely drunk then. Tomorrow I'll be sober."

"So the solution is alcohol. No problem, we'll start the day with champagne cocktails." He smiles thinking he's got me. It is true, my inhibitions do drop when I've been drinking.

"Alright then," I relent. I can always wimp out in the morning. "I still ought to pop back to the hotel though. I'd like to get my own shampoo and other toiletries, and I really should let them know I'm still alive and still need the room."

He looks at me curiously. "Do you still need the room? You know you can keep staying with me. In fact, I don't think I'm willing to let you go until I really have to." And there was the half smirk again, the one that made me want to do wicked things to this man.

"What, stay here the whole week? Won't you get sick of me by Sunday? Don't you have other plans?"

"I have no plans that can't be changed, and I'm enjoying having you here. I'm not taking no for an answer on this."

So I relent.

That night I will be snuggling up with Edward in his bed, and even though I have my own things now, Demetri having picked them up from the hotel earlier, I still sleep in Edward's shirt and boxers.

When I wake on Monday morning, I instantly feel there is something missing. Then I realize there are no arms or legs wrapped around me. I raise my head and look around for a sign of my new snuggle buddy. I can't hear any noises coming from the bathroom, or the rest of the house, so I decided to go in search of him. As I descend the stairs, I hear noises coming from the kitchen. Entering I notice the table set for breakfast. Edward has spread out a pristine white table cloth with charcoal place mats and glistening table ware. There is a single white candle in the center in a simple silver holder and each place has a champagne flute containing champagne.

Edward turns as I enter, putting some French toast onto the plates. He is still only dressed in his boxers and they really don't leave much to the imagination.

"Hi, sleep head. How are you this morning, Beautiful?" Edward greets me.

"I'm fine, you're up bright and early."

"I guess I just couldn't wait to get you in that bikini." He gives me his lop sided smirk and I feel the now familiar flutters in my stomach and, if I'm honest, my lady parts.

"So, drink up," he grins.

I swallow hard. Oh yeah, I'd nearly forgotten I'd agreed to wear a bikini. Maybe I could distract him.

"I think your wonderful champagne breakfast will certainly help to get me in the right mood," I reply. "Or delay you long enough for me to come up with a plan to get out of this," I add quietly.

"Won't work Beautiful, I refuse to be distracted, delayed or not. Pool day is happening, and you will like it." Damn, he heard.

There was nothing to be said, so I sit down and pick up my champagne flute. I down the drink in one. "Hit me again" I instruct and he dutifully refills my glass from the bottle on the table.

This one I drink a little more slowly, but I still find I managed to get through a third before breakfast is finished. After all, I wasn't rushing my food.

After eating, I rummage through Alice's never ending clothes supply until I find her bikinis. I select one that I think actually looks flattering on me. I've always been a little proud of my breasts. Despite nursing three children they are still quite perky and I class them as one of my best features. The bikini top I've selected helps to highlight them further, with hidden support and a halter neck that draws them together to create an impressive cleavage. I'm thinking this will certainly distract eyes from my tummy area.

I throw a wrap around me like a dress and go down, only to find Edward looking like a Greek god by the pool.

He looks me over as I approach and I notice a twinkle in his eye. "So, fancy a swim? Then we can catch some sun to dry off," he asks.

"First I'm going to need some sunscreen." There is no way I'm risking burning. "There are parts of my body out today that have not seen the light of day in over twelve years."

"That's a very good point, beautiful. Do you want help applying it?" And his wicked grin is back.

"Of course that would be very helpful. My back would really appreciate that, but I think I can reach the rest of me." I quirk an eyebrow at him.

"Such a shame. Are you sure you don't need someone to ensure every part of you is fully covered? I'm sure I'd do a meticulous job." He raises his eyebrows and glanced down at my breasts.

I laugh at his antics. "Boys and boobs!" I mutter before settling onto a sun lounger.

True to his word, Edward helps me to put lotion on my back. Then I return the favor for him. I must confess that I probably take a little longer rubbing my hands over his broad, toned back than is absolutely necessary. I may also have drifted down a little low, letting my fingers inch under the edge of his trunks, but I reasoned it was best not to take any risks.

From the smirk on his face when he turned around, he knew. But he didn't say anything, and I certainly wasn't going to.

As the day progresses, we spend our time dipping in and out the pool and lounging on the sun deck. We spend less time talking then yesterday, just enjoying being in each other's company. Each other's semi clothed company!

The day is really relaxing and I find myself feeling more and more comfortable with Edward. We place our sun loungers close together, listening to the same music from my iPod, taking an ear bud each. As we lie there our arms brush against each other and it's not long till Edward's fingers tangle with mine. He still seems to like to have physical contact with me, just as he did on that first night.

I'm lost in that state between sleep and awake as I allow the feel of the sun and Edward's hand gently rubbing my knuckles to sooth me. I'm vaguely aware of Edward turning onto his side, facing towards me. He starts to gently run the fingers up and down my arm. The touch is so slight I think I almost imagine it, that it is all part of a dream.

A few minutes pass with me just enjoying his touch and then his soft gentle words break through my reverie.

"You're a damn sexy woman, beautiful." His voice sounds husky and seductive. I lazily open my eyes and peer over my sunglasses at him. His eyes are roaming my body and I involuntarily shiver.

"You have the most superb curves and I can't even start to describe the beauty of your breasts. I find myself surrounded by fake women all the time, obsessed with being stick thin, getting Botox, implants, lifts and tucks. It gets old quickly. Everything about you is real and so much better."

His fingers continue their light exploration of my arm, tracing delicate patterns on the inside of my elbow. The look on his face, combined with his sensual touch and his words is doing things to me and I feel a heat rise between my legs.

Edward glances back up at my face and I watch his tongue flick across his lower lip. The sight captivates me. I can't look away.

As I watch him, I feel his hand that had been on my arm slowly slide across my stomach. He glances back down my body and I see his Adam's apple bob as he swallows. I suddenly get a huge desire to kiss him there.

His hand slowly moves up my stomach, until it is touching the underside of my breast. When it touches, I slightly jump. Whether from anticipation, fear or pure lust, I'm not sure. But it makes him pause and I once again find his deep emerald eyes peering into mine, as if they are searching my soul.

"May I?" Is all he needs to ask and once again, I'm powerless to him. I give my usual response, a small nod, and I feel his fingers start to stroke the underside of my right breast. As he touches me, I feel a bolt of desire shoot down through my body, making the walls of my vagina clench in anticipation. There is no denying what this man does to my body and I'm powerless to stop him.

I remind myself that this isn't the first time he has touched my breasts. I did wake up to him cupping one of them through my shirt the other morning, but this feels different. It might have something to do with the way he is looking at me and my body, and it might have a lot to do with the way my body is responding to that look.

He continues to stare me straight in the eyes and the desire I see there burns me to my core. Perhaps this wasn't a good idea after all. I can't let this get too far. Edward is quickly becoming a friend, I would hate to lose and I don't want sexual tension to spoil what we have. I also know I'm not ready for a relationship. My husband is still not far from my mind. But I find I'm struggling to back down, as I stare into his simmering eyes.

I draw in a deep breath and bit down on my lower lip to stop myself from crying out and begging him for more.

His hand moves up slowly to cup my breast. His touch is firm but tender, as he gently massages the soft flesh. He glances down briefly, before his eyes come back up to meet mine and I hear him whisper, "So beautiful."

Then I feel his thumb gently stretch out and rub across the top of my already erect nipple and it's all too much for me.

I close my eyes and say one word as tears spring to my eyes. "Jacob." It's a quiet reminder that even though I'm free to enjoy this man's touch, I don't feel like I am. He feels like a forbidden fruit and if I taste of him I'll be condemned. Allowing this to go on isn't fair to him or to me.

His hand stills at the sound of my voice and all I can hear is his heavy breathing that matches my own. I can feel the rise and fall of my chest, as I struggle to get enough air.

Then his hand is gone. My eyes snap open, to I see him with his head down cast, his eyes closed and a pained remorseful expression on his face.

"I'm sorry beautiful, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that, it's not what today is about. I… I'm just sorry." And with that he takes off into the house.

As he leaves I feel the loss of him intensely and I suddenly start to cry for real. But it's not for the loss of Jake, but the loss of my Cocktail Man and the hurt I saw in his eyes. I wish more than anything, I was in a position to give into my desires, but I just don't feel ready.

My head falls back onto the recliner and I draw in a huge lungful of air, before letting it out in a frustrated stuttering groan. Why on earth did I let that get so far? I knew it would be a mistake. How can I fix this? I take some deep breaths to steady my nerves and go in search of my Cocktail Man.

I find him in the kitchen, sitting up at the breakfast bar with his head in his hands, looking forlorn.

I watch him for a while, pondering how to make things right. Then I have an idea.

I make my way to the wet bar in the living room. He might not have everything I need, but he has enough and before long I'm entering the kitchen with two cocktails in my hand. I unfortunately failed to find any cocktail umbrellas but I have added two straws and put salt around the rim of the glasses. With limited skill and resources, I think I've done pretty well.

As I enter the room, Edward looks up. He shoulders are slumped and he has a defeated look on his face.

"Look, Beautiful, I'm sorry. I understand if you want me to take you back to the hotel…"

It's at this point he notices the cocktails. He looks from them up to me, hesitantly smiling at him.

"You looked a little sad," I offer as an explanation, "It worked for me."

A brief smile flitters across his face. "Does this mean I'm forgiven?"

"Nothing to forgive." I slightly shrug my shoulders. "However, I think we do need to talk. First let's drink these cocktails and see if they taste as bad as I suspect."

He laughs and the tension is broken. I have my CM back and all is right with the world.

…..

That evening, after we've both changed into our night clothes and I've once again touched base with my kids, we snuggle up on the sofa in the lounge. He has me pulled close into his side and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"So, how are you feeling, Beautiful? Has today helped at all?" he asks.

"Hmmm," I reply nodding my head slightly. I certainly feel more comfortable and attractive then I did before this holiday. "I'm certainly more willing to believe that people will find me attractive."

I smile, remembering how attractive he made me feel this afternoon. Even though things did get a little carried away, in that moment there was no denying his attraction to me.

"Are you willing to believe that I find you attractive?"

"Yes." I muttered as I let my eyes close. "But I think we need to talk about that."

"I know. You're not ready," he sighs.

"It's not just that," I say, pulling back so I can see his face as I talk. "I don't think we should start something that can't go anywhere."

"Who says it can't go anywhere?" he looks at me, puzzled.

"Because I think one of us will end up hurt. The last thing I want to do is to hurt you Edward, after everything you've done for me. I think we both know that anything between us couldn't ever be more than a brief fling. For one, I live over a thousand miles away. I'm older than you and in a very different point in my life. My life and your life are so different. I want to be your friend, but I don't think I can give you more than that. Besides, I have three wonderful people who need me so much at the moment. I need to put them first. I can't throw their lives into turmoil again."

"You're right, Beautiful, I know you are. But it doesn't stop me from finding you sexy, and I refuse to stop telling you and showing you. I know that at the end of this week, you are going to go home to your kids. I've seen how you talk to them on skype. I know they're your world and you have to put them first, and I understand that and admire it."

He pulls me back in close, wrapping his strong arms around me. "Friends then," he confirms.

"Friends." I murmur, knowing that although we both want more, this is the right thing to do.

* * *

A/N: I actually had the Lost Boys sound track on cassette - thought I'd throw in a bit of my own history. Life was so different back then. How do you join a fandom with no internet?

RL has been throwing me some curved balls the last two weeks. With files on USB drives getting corrupted to landing a job unexpectedly, so writing has slowed a bit. I hope to still keep up with the posting schedule, but wish me luck for Sunday when I become responsible for a class of 16 one-year-olds!


	8. Chapter 8 - House Guests

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

Chapter 8 – House guests

On Tuesday I wake up to the usual arm and leg wrapped around me, and my breast cupped in CM's large hand. I chuckle and the sound rouses my sleeping friend. He releases a content sigh, giving my breast a slight squeeze before letting it go.

"Sorry. It seems to be drawn there against my will," he mumbles.

"I kind of like it," I say, turning to face him, "It's comforting."

"How did I get to bed?" I ask. The last thing I remember from the previous night was snuggling up against Edward's side in front a movie.

"I carried you." He must have been really gentle, or I was really tired, since I didn't wake at all.

"Do we have any plans for today?" I ask.

"Nope, not sure what to do with you today. We could just go and loung by the pool again?" He suggests.

"I don't want to push it and get burnt." I had a couple areas which, whilst not quite burnt, did feel a little delicate.

"Perhaps, then, I could challenge you to a few video games, I've got a Wii, a play station and an X-box." He suggests.

"You are such a man. Video games and bikini clad women are the only things you can think of to do?" I tease.

"I'll have you know I have a variety of interests," he retorts, "not all of them purely masculine."

"So you're up for a day of more feminine pursuits are you? We could get our nails done, braid each other's hair. I could even wax you." As I talk his face drops and I see genuine fear in his eyes. I think he's seriously worried I might force him into getting waxed.

I grin broadly at him and let him off the hook. "It's okay CM, I don't mind playing video games, but I don't promise to be any good. You'll probably find me poor competition." Embry's better at the shooting games than me, but I'm queen of the Wii sports games.

"So I get to play video games, and I get to win?" he gives me a huge grin and the twinkle is back in his eyes, "and you think that would be a problem?"

I laugh out loud at his excitement.

After Edward and I get ready for the day, we cook breakfast together and get down to the serious business of gaming. Edward's not bad, I guess actors get a lot of down time to perfect their skill. He beats me in the first two games on the play station, but I thrashed him on a third. I then pull out my secret weapon and challenge Edward to a game of tennis on the Wii. I'm just at the point of starting to gloat over conclusively whopping his ass in our first match, when there is a loud buzzing noise that makes me jump out of my skin.

"What the hell is that?" I exclaim.

Edward laughs. "It's only the gate intercom. It looks like we may have visitors."

His use of the word 'we' in this context does things to me. I find I like the idea of being associated with him as a 'we'.

Edward walks over to the intercom box by the door of the lounge, pushes some buttons and speaks into it.

"Hello?" He enquires.

"Edward," comes back the loud reply. "We've decided you've been moping for long enough and it's time to get over her, so we are here with beer and tonight we will be dragging your sorry ass to a club, and you will get laid, no excuses. Now buzz us in." This is met with loud cheers and yells in the background. I wonder briefly what they are referring to, with their comment about him moping. Has Edward just got out of a relationship? I vaguely remember talk of him dating some actress, but I really don't keep up with these things. I could probably find out with a quick internet search, but that feels like an invasion of his privacy, even if the rest of the world already knows. I guess I'll just have to ask him about it later.

I watch Edward close his eyes and rest his forehead against the door frame.

"Sorry about my friends, they aren't quite as bad as they sound," He tells me without looking up.

"They sound like fine, upstanding gentlemen," I laugh back.

"Do you want me to get rid of them? We don't have to let them in you know?"

"It's fine," I laugh, "It might be amusing to meet some more of your friends. Besides, I could do with some decent competition."

He scowls at me. As he does the intercom buzzes again. "Are you going to fucking buzz us in or what? You know this is going to happen so just accept your fate, mate."

I can't contain my laughter at the mortified look on Edward's face as he pushes the buzzer to allow them access.

He looks at me remorsefully, "I'd best go open the door for them. Prepare yourself."

He leaves the room and I do a quick check that my hair is in place and my clothes are in order. Today Edward and I have decided to actually get dressed, which is turning out to be a novel concept for us. With the uninvited house guests, I'm feeling grateful we did. I'm wearing a simple pair of shorts that come to mid-thigh in dark blue with a flowery gathered top in a lighter shade of blue. I even put a little make up on this morning. Just a touch of tinted moisturizer and mascara, but it makes all the difference.

I've just finished my quick appraisal when I hear a commotion at the door.

"Hey, Buddy. How's life? We missed you on Friday at the club."

"So here's the beer, get them on ice and we'll set up the play station."

"You're looking good Edward, finally pulling yourself together, hey? Looks like our timing is good for getting you back out there."

At this point three men come walking into the lounge and stop dead as they see me.

"Why, hello there," says the first, "and who do we have here?" The speaker has curly blond hair that falls around his ears and he is nearly as tall as Edward.

Edward follows them into the room and gives me a reassuring smile. "So, I suppose introductions are in order. Guys, may I introduce my good friend Bella. Bella let me introduce to you Jasper," he indicates the first man to speak, "Garrett," he indicates a beefier guy who I recognize as another actor. I have a vague memory he appeared in a film with Edward. "And Peter," Edward finishes. Peter I don't recognize. He's about the same height and build as Edward but has a thick head of jet black hair.

As Edward finishes speaking, Jasper comes forward and takes my hand in his. I think he's going to shake it, but instead he brings it to his mouth and plants a kiss on the back. "Pleased to meet you. So you're a good friend of Edward's?"

"Um, yeah," I stutter in reply. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by the new presences in the house, especially as I know at least one of them is a well-known actor.

"Well this explains Em's reaction when we tried to drag his ass out today." Jasper turns back to talk to Edward. "I assume he knows about the delectable Bella." I blush as his words and Edward rolls his eyes.

"They've met," he confirms, "What's the big guy up to?"

"He mentioned something about being busy this morning," replies Peter, "I kind of tuned out when he started to mention cycles and peak times and Rosalie's temperature chart. But I think it may be safe to assume the guy is performing his husbandly duties, if you know what I mean." Peter wiggles his eye brows at us, "He did say he would join us later."

"Talking about sex, I hope we're not interrupting anything here," says Garrett suggestively, not beating around the bush in the slightest. "We can go if you two have other things you want to be doing."

At his words I feel my cheeks heat further, as more blood rushed to my head. But I've done nothing wrong. I refuse to be intimidated or embarrassed. I need to nip this teasing in the bud. I'm a grown woman, I can handle three boys. I take a deep breath, smile and rise from the sofa.

"Well to be honest, you have perfect timing. Edward was just getting a little upset I was beating his sorry ass on the Wii. It would be good to get some real competition, if any of you think you can take me on. Now, if you'll crack open the beer I'll go and raid Edward's snack cupboard and we can start to make a day of it."

With this, I march out the room and do just that. Ten minutes later, I walk back into the lounge with a couple bowls of chips in my arms. From the way it goes quiet as I enter the room, I suspect I have been the topic of conversation whilst I was gone. Well, this calls for a drink. I walk up to the coffee table, lay down my offerings and then grab one of the beers the guys have brought over. Without saying a word, I crack it open and take a long drink. Four pairs of eyes don't leave me throughout. I feel a little like a rare animal in a zoo.

I then look for a seat. There is just enough room, I decide, between Edward and Garratt on the sofa. "Move over." I announce, and squeeze into the space.

Garrett looks a little shocked, but smiles widely as he moves over slightly to give me more room. "She can stay, I like her," he announces, grabbing his own beer.

Edward just gives me a huge panty dropping grin, grabs my hand in his and winks at me. "You're doing great," he whispers in my ear.

With that an afternoon of chip eating, beer drinking and game playing commences. It is rather a change from the last few days, with a lot more testosterone flying around, but I enjoy it. It reminds me of my days during high school, when I'd hang out with my friend Mike and his friends. I've never minded male company, often preferring it to the talk of clothes and make up that I still fail to understand.

When Edward isn't playing, he seems to gravitate towards me. On several occasions, I find myself either sitting on his lap or with his arm around me. I see some looks pass between the other guys on a couple of occasions, but they don't say anything.

At one point, I ask Peter what it is he does, as it becomes clear he isn't an actor. "I'm the one who makes Edward look good," He explains. "I was his stunt double on Secret Passion. Whenever they needed a real man, they would call on me. We can't have pretty boy hurting himself."

"Hey, I volunteered to do the stunts, they looked really fun, but the director wouldn't let me," complains Edward.

"Admit it, I can just kick and punch better than you. You'd not have looked half as tough in that movie without me doing the strenuous stuff for you."

This leads into a staged fight between Edward and Peter, as they both try to prove they are better at throwing and taking a stunt punch. I have to admit it looks real, but as they walk away with no bruises and big grins instead, I know they were only playing around.

As the afternoon wears on, the guys become less interested in the games and the beer is starting to loosen them up. At around four, Jasper wanders out the room to return a few moments later with two guitars, which I assume have come from Edward's music room. A room I've yet to explore. He hands one to Edward and sits himself down at the foot of the sofa and starts to tune up. I didn't know Edward was musical, so I'm looking forward to this.

"Jasper's a really gifted song writer. He's written a few of Alice's songs and he recently wrote a couple with the band New Eclipse," Edward explains to me softly, as he starts to strum out a few cords. Embry is a big fan of New Eclipse so I'm very familiar with their work.

"He's not very well known outside the industry, but he's very talented," Edward adds.

Sat on the floor, Jasper starts to play a tune and it's not long before Edward joins in. This is obviously a normal occurrence, as neither of the other guys pay any attention. They just continue their conversation on the other sofa. I, however, am fascinated. I watch Edwards long fingers move easily over the strings. He looks up at me and smiles as Jasper starts to sing. The song is one I'm familiar with, from New Eclipse's last album. I assume it is one that Jasper wrote. It's an upbeat song and I smile as I listen to their rich harmonies.

As the first song ends, Jasper leads straight into another and it's not one I know. Jasper opens up the lyrics, but Edward soon joins in. This song is a little more subdued than the last and Edward's voice wraps around the lyrics like soft silk around my heart. Jasper seems to take the lead with Edward adding harmonies that make the lyrics really come alive. I'm stunned by the talent of these two musicians and how easily they work together. As Edward sings, his eyes don't leave mine. I listen to the lyrics of the song and they pierce my soul. They speak of the heart ache of missing those who used to be dear, of the struggle to come to terms with loss and how moving on is so hard. They speak volumes to me about the struggle I've gone through over Jacob and I feel tears springing to my eyes.

I look at Edward and I see similar tears pooling in his eyes. The sight of the mirrored sadness there makes me crumble and as I do, Edward quickly puts the guitar to one side, allowing Jasper to take up the reins, and pulls me into his lap, holding me tight. Jasper looks over briefly then just nods and continues to sing.

As the song finishes Jasper, once again, rolls into another song. It has a soft melody, almost like a lullaby and it helps to soothe me.

Edward is holding me close and as the song reaches the chorus he sings along softly in my ear:

 _It's You, My Love  
So kind are your eyes  
I see them in the darkest skies  
If it's true my love  
I've got to steal away  
I'll search for you till my dying day_

With his tender words and mellifluous voice Edward lulls me back from the brink and my eyes start to dry. I can't believe how much these songs have affected me. I hear Jasper finish the playing and get up. He stops next to Edward and I see him pat him on the shoulder before leaving the room. Murmured voices then reach us from the area of the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, CM, I didn't mean to get upset and scare off your friends like that," I say. "Are you okay?" I add, remembering the tears in his eyes.

"I'm ok, Beautiful, and the guys will understand," he whispers into my hair, kissing the top of my head gently. "They know that song still gets to me sometimes too."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I probe, but he just shakes his head.

"It's an old story, not one for now."

I sigh, pondering his words. I think about my reaction. My emotions are still so close to the surface. "I guess I'm still not completely over it. Over him," I whisper.

"You never will be, that's the point, but each day will get easier." He smiles ruefully at me, as if he knows what he's talking about. "Sure, there will be set backs and bad days, sometimes a simple song lyric will get to you, but that's okay. Nobody is expecting you just to forget him and to move on like he never existed. He will always be a part of you, and that's the way it should be. Remember the good times, let him live in your soul and the hearts of your children. I just hope I've helped a little, to bring a bit of happiness back into your life."

As I hear him talk and thinking about his reaction to the song, it's clear he is speaking from experience, but I don't push it. Choosing instead to let him know exactly how much he has done for me.

"Edward, you have no idea how much you've done for me. How much you _are_ doing for me. Even now, just having you hold me, it keeps me grounded, stops the pain from being so all consuming. Your presence is preventing me from sinking and never coming back up. With you here, your arms around me, I can feel the warmth of the sun still, even when parts of me are struggling in the pits of despair."

In that moment, I come to realize my biggest worry is what's going to happen when I go home. Where will I get my strength from without his strong arms supporting me, his words encouraging me, his will driving me forward? I'm dreading the end of the week, when I'm going to have to say goodbye, probably for good.

"I'm going to miss you, CM." I admit.

"So will I, Beautiful, so will I." He replies sadly.

Edward continues to hold me for a while. After a few minutes, Jasper returns to the room and crouches down next to us. He gives Edward a small smile before turning to me. "I'm sorry my songs upset you, Bella."

I smile shyly, a little embarrassed at my reaction in front on this near stranger.

"It's not your fault. I lost someone recently," I explain. "The emotions are still a little raw and near the surface. It doesn't take much to bring them out."

"I understand. In a way, I'm glad they spoke to you. It's always a compliment to a song writer when your songs stir emotions in others." He sighs and looks down. "That song is close to mine and Edward's hearts. It's usually our sorry asses that end up crying though." He looks up at Edward and gives a wry half smile.

"If it hadn't been your song it would have been something else," I reassure him, "But I've got friends to help me through it," I say looking up at Edward, "and as a good friend once told me, it gets better each day."

Jasper nods and then looks to Edward. "You okay, mate?" Edward nods and Jasper continues, "We've put a call in for some Chinese, then we thought we'd hit a bar. It would be nice if you two wanted to join us." He looks back at me with hope in his eyes.

"Yeah, I think it would be good to get out." I reply as I disentangle myself from Edward. I know I must look a sight. My eyes are probably puffy from crying and I'm sure I have mascara streaks down my cheeks, so I excuse myself and go upstairs to wash my face and re-apply some make-up. While there, I decide to change into some appropriate clothes for hitting for the bar later. By the time I come back downstairs, I'm feeling a lot better.

The meal is a lively affair with the boys. But before I know it, we are all pilling into Peter's car and heading to the bar.

The bar is in a lively area of town and as we arrive, Edward explains that there may be some press outside, but that they should leave me alone, especially if I hang back with Jasper and Peter.

Edward squeezes my hand, "Are you okay with this Beautiful?"

"No problem," I reply, trying to convince myself as much as him, "What's the worst they can do?"

"Hound you until your life is a living hell?" Shouts Garrett from the front.

"Not helping Garrett. Not helping," retorts Edward with a smack to the back of his head.

As it turns out, things weren't that bad, for me at least. The number of photographers outside the bar wasn't huge, but they all want to picture Edward and Garrett and the flashes are blinding. There also seem to be a million shouted questions, which they both ignore. A lot of them the ones directed towards Edward seemed to be about someone called Tanya.

I was essentially ignore, tucked away between Jasper and Peter, but I still found the experience intimidating and wondered how Edward coped with this all the time.

After entering the bar, we make our way to a private booth in the VIP area and Edward pulls me into a seat next to him, grabbing hold of my hand as he does so. This is something I've grown accustomed to at his house, in private, but it is a whole different feeling having him do it in public and I worry about who will see us.

The evening is passing well. Not long after we arrive we are heralded by the loud voice of Emmett. "So they've not scared you off Bella, my Beauty," he yells as he reaches over Edward to give me a huge bear hug. At first I'm a little taken back, but then I relax and hug him back.

"No Rose?" Quizzes Edward.

"Nah, the parents had Bree all day so Rose didn't want to leave her with a sitter tonight too," Emmett replies. "Besides, she's a little worn out, if you know what I mean."

This is met with shouts of too much information, leading to Emmett's whole body shaking as he guffaws loudly. "Not my fault. I'm the only one getting it regularly here. If you had a wife like my Rose, who couldn't get enough of your body, you'd brag about it too."

"Hey, I get it regularly," protests Jasper, "Alice loves my body, especially in cow boy boots."

"I don't want to hear any more," Edward nearly screams, "That's my sister you're talking about."

"Sorry, dude," Jasper looks apologetic as everyone laughs at Edwards discomfort.

After that the evening settles down, the boys spend their time regaling me with stories of drunk Edward and the things they've all got up to on previous nights out. I learn that Edward, Emmett and Jasper grew up together in Chicago, before all coming to LA and they have plenty of stories of nerdy Edward from his teenage years. It would appear the guy wasn't always the charmer he is today.

It's getting late in the evening when Jasper takes the opportunity to talk to me. Edward has just left to visit the bathroom and he comes to take the seat next to me.

"So, what's going on with you and Edward?" he says in a low tone the others can't hear.

"Nothing really, we're just friends." I shrug nonchalantly.

"Just friends, hey? Well I don't look at my friends the way you two keep looking at each other." I feel my cheeks heat as he looks at me, as if he's deciding what to say next. "Look, I'm just concerned, for the both of you. Edward's a good friend, but his life comes with a lot of… difficulties. If you can't handle it, I don't want you to end up hurting him. He's had enough of that recently."

I want to quiz Jasper further, but I know information on Edward's past needs to come from him, so I tackle the issue at hand.

"It's a moot point," I answer. I'm resigned to the fact that Edward and I cannot and will not take our relationship any further, even if we occasionally have lustful feelings towards each other. I'm not about to spoil what we have for a quick fumble; besides, I leave in a few days.

"We aren't going to be getting involved. I'm only here till Sunday and then I go back to my real life, back to school runs and housework and play dates. You know normal stuff."

Then it strikes me how lonely and empty my life is likely to be once I return home. I'm not sure who I still know in Forks from my high school days, or if we'll still have anything in common. Sure I have my family and kids, but outside of that I'm going to be pretty much on my own. I think about the evenings I have stretching in front of me, alone in my house with the kids in bed, no one to talk to, no one to share my news of the day, no one to hug me as I climb into my bed.

As I sit there my eyes start to fill with involuntary tears. I'd been avoiding thinking about leaving Edward and returning to my boring life back in Washington, but now it has all come crashing down on me. I know the tears are going to start to fall and there is no way I want to cry in front of these guys again, especially not in the middle of a bar. Besides, I can't let anyone know how I'm feeling about Edward, about how much I'm going to miss him. He's helped me so much and I can't let him know how much leaving him is going to hurt. He can't know the depths of my feelings.

I have to get out of here and quick.

I'm just about to make my escape to the bathroom, when an angry exclamation erupts from Emmett and I look at him to see a thunderous expression on his face. He's looking across the bar and I follow his eyes as he almost roars, "Oh no she fucking isn't. There's no way that skank's getting her claws back into Edward."

He starts to push his seat back, as I watch Edward smiling as a tall red headed woman wraps her arms around his neck. She is wearing a dress that is low at the front and high at the hem, leaving little to the imagination. It clings to her slim figure and very ample chest. For a second my heart hits the floor, but then I take in his awkward, stiff stance and it occurs to me that he doesn't really want to be with this woman. Besides, it's not like I have any claim on him anyway.

"I'll go," says Jasper firmly, standing and putting his hand on Emmett's shoulder to push him back down into his seat. "You don't know your own strength, big guy. We don't need you getting arrested for assault"

"Hey!" Emmett sounds hurt, "I would never lay hands on a woman." But then his expression hardens and his eyes narrow, "However, I wouldn't consider that creature a woman, so perhaps it's safer if I leave the intervention to you."

He looks across at me. My eyes have been flicking between what's happening with Edward to Emmett and Jasper's exchange. I don't know what expression I'm wearing, but his features soften and his face breaks out into a wide grin, dimples and all. "Actually, I think it might be best to send Bella. That would really upset the little princess." The way he says princess is like it's a dirty word, the biggest insult he can imagine.

I look back at him and return the grin. If this woman needs putting in her place, I'm certainly up to the challenge. But Jasper spoils our fun.

"I'm not letting _that_ woman get her talons into Bella. I'm going," He insists.

"I'm coming too," says Peter getting up from his seat. Jasper nods.

The two of them approach Edward, who is now leaning back from the auburn haired seductress, as if he's trying to get some distance between them. She continues to cling to his body, but his hands are on her arms and he appears to be trying to remove them from his neck.

I can't hear what is going on, but it doesn't take long for the guys to extract Edward from the situation. I see her standing talking to them with a pouty look on her face. She keeps trying to touch Edward, but he keeps removing her hands, eventually stepping back, so he's out of range.

After a couple minutes they are all back at the table and I watch her saunter off through the club, swinging her hips in a way that must have been designed to attract attention.

Edward is not in the best of moods on his return. I want to ask him about the encounter, but he doesn't look my way. He throws back his drink and summons the waitress.

"Aren't we here to have fun," he grouses, as the waitress approaches. "Tequila shots all round," he tells her, still looking sullen.

I look at him concerned and lean closer. "CM, talk to me," I urge quietly.

He glances my way and I see the fire in his eyes turn from a blaze to a simmer, as we look at each other.

"Later, Beautiful. I'll explain later," he pleads. "For now let me just forget that just happened."

"Okay," I concede as the waitress returns with the drinks, "We'll talk later."

He nods and I intend to hold him to it. There have been too many illusions to Edward having a troubled past and I'm determined to get to the bottom of it.

As the evening wears on, the boys get gradually drunker and drunker. I, however, avoid my shots when possible and pour half my drinks into Emmett's. He's knows I'm doing it and gives me a big wink, as he swaps his empty glass for my full. He's a giant bear of a man, so I reason he can hold his alcohol. For me, I think drinking too much tonight would be a mistake. Alcohol always seems to heighten my emotions. So if I'm happy when I drink, a get even happier, if I'm feeling sexy, I start to really crave a good roll between the sheets, and if I'm sad I get depressed. With my mood tonight, I decide it's best to avoid going down that road.

It's funny watching Edward drunk. It's really bringing out his cheeky side. Before I know it, his playful nature is starting to turn my mood around and I find myself genuinely having a really good time.

It's late by the time we all leave the bar. Emmett has his own car, with driver waiting for him and as Jasper lives near him they leave together. Peter's not been drinking, so volunteers to drive the rest of us home. He and I leave the bar first and get into the car, avoiding the attention of the paparazzi as we do. There is a bigger crowd outside now, probably hoping to get a picture of a drunk celebrity falling into a taxi. I'd spotted a few other people I recognized in the club, so it was obviously a popular place for the young, rich and famous. Though it hadn't struck me as being pretentious, and most people had been dressed similar to us, in jeans and t-shirts. Some obviously designer Jeans and t-shirts, but fairly casual all the same.

I look back from my position in the back seat of Peter's car, to see Edward and Garrett leave and I'm almost blinded by the flashes that start to go off in their faces. The two men keep their heads down and move as quickly as they can. I don't know how they stand it. I give Edward's hand a squeeze as he joins me in the back of the car. Peter quickly starts the engine and pulls off, away from the still flashing lights and I'm grateful to be out of there.

* * *

A/N I hope some of you out there are enjoying this. Let me know what you think, good or bad. All feedback is gratefully received. I know these two are taking a little while to get there, but they will sort themselves out at some point, I promise. Lemons to come (but not next chapter I'm afraid). Thanks for reading.

MT


	9. Chapter 9 - Alice

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

Chapter 9 – Alice

On Wednesday morning I wake up early. Edward is still snoring lightly at my side, his mouth is drawn into a gently pout and he looks extremely relaxed. I watch him for a while, before the call of nature draws me out the bed. Today I'm surprised that I manage to get free of his arm without waking him. I'm in good spirits and not the least bit tired, so I decide to head downstairs to start on breakfast.

I find all the ingredients I need to make pancakes and proceed to mix up a batch.

Putting my IPod into the docking station I switch to my housework play list. It is full of songs that get me moving and keep my spirits high.

I've nearly finished cooking up the pancakes when one of my favorite songs comes on, Fat Bottom Girls by Queen. This is a song I love to dance and sing along to, and I'm belting out the lyrics, using the spatula as a microphone, while swinging _my_ bottom to the music.

Then I feel two strong hands on my hips. Edward's seductive voice starts to sing along with me, right by my ear, as we both continue to move together to the song. I reach up my free hand, wrapping it around his neck and into the hair at the back, loving the feel of its soft texture against my fingers. He's pressed up close up to me, holding me firmly in his hands whilst his breath washes over my neck, sending shivers down my body. I can't help pushing my hips back into him, grinding against him. As I do, I feel an obvious pressure that tells me my swinging hips are affecting him as much as he's effecting me.

I'm just starting to think things are starting to get a little too heated and I ought to pull away when the song ends. Edward leans over me, taking the spatula from my hand. He removes the forgotten pancake from the pan, just before it burns and put it onto the plate. He then turns me in his arms. He pulls me close for one of his all-embracing hugs.

"Oh the things you and your bottom do to me," he murmurs before kissing me on the top of the head. He gives me one last squeeze before letting me go, picking up the plate of pancakes and making his way to the counter.

As he sits down, he winks at me. I stand there stunned, leaning against the counter for support, trying to get my head together enough to be able to move. I bite my lip to prevent myself from whimpering. I'm beginning to wonder how much more time I can spend in this man's company before I end up giving in to my growing desires. My head still knows it would be a mistake, one that would add all sorts of complications to an already complicated enough friendship. But at times like this, my body is screaming at me not to listen to my head. It just wants to throw itself at this fine specimen of manhood and find out how good we could be together, and boy if the heat between us is anything to go by, we would be so good together.

I watch him for a moment, as he starts to eat his first pancake, and I involuntarily lick my lips as I imagine what it would feel like for him to push his lips against mine as his hands hold me close, one of them weaving into my hair, the other cupping my bottom. I imagine how we would start out with soft gentle kisses, before our passion got the better of us. Then things would rapidly get more heated, more insistent. There would be tongues and gentle moans, caresses and gyrations. My imaginings are getting so vivid I can almost feel his hands roaming over my body, as his teeth bite gently at my lip.

It's at about this point that I realize Edward is watching me. I've been so focused on his mouth that I failed to notice that his eyes had risen up to my face. My internal musing instantly cease and I feel my face become bright red. His mouth is shaped into a wide smirk. This man knows exactly the effect he has on me.

"Tell me Beautiful, what evil thoughts were passing through your brain that have got you turning that wonderful shade of red and biting your lip in such an alluring fashion?"

If it is at all possible, I'm sure my face just got even redder. All I can do is bite my lip even harder, as I try and quell the feelings that are boiling up inside.

Edward's smile falters, as his eyes darken and he draws in a breath though tight lips.

"Fuck, Beautiful, I could eat you up at the moment," he continues, "and if you really don't want me to lose control I would suggest you stop those thought, drop the lip and join me for breakfast." His voice sounds teasing, but his face looks almost pained and I know exactly how he feels. I close my eyes and quickly regain my composure, my head over ruling my traitorous body.

"Sorry." I mumble and quickly sit down beside him at the counter. I give a big sigh and rest my head against his shoulder.

"Don't apologies for being sexy," he retorts, "It's just sometimes I really wish I'd met you in a few months, you know when you were ready for a relationship."

"Yeah," I agree, "and also that we didn't live in different states and that you weren't a famous celebrity who is hounded by the press relentlessly for any tid bit about a possible relationship. Yeah, then things would be perfect."

I sigh again.

"Yeah," he agrees, "then things would be perfect."

…

We are brought out of our melancholy by a ring on Edward's phone.

Whoever it is, doesn't give Edward much time to speak. He gives short occasional replies, interspersed by long silences when I imagine the other person is speaking. His face looks pained. I hear him make apologies and then I realize he must be speaking to his sister.

"Look, I'm sorry, Alice. It's not like I invited Jasper over to meet her…..of course you can meet her… what did Jasper tell you?….No I've not been deliberately keeping her from you… A night out?... To a club?... One we have to dress up for….. No I don't know any other sort of club Alice… I'm not sure Alice…. I'll ask her."

He rolls his eyes at me, as he covers the mouth piece of the phone. "It's my sister," he clarifies, "She wants to meet you. Her idea is for us to go out dancing this Friday at a club."

I scrunch up my nose. I'm not a great dancer, having two left feet, both of which I fall over frequently.

"She doesn't look convinced," he says into the phone, "perhaps we could do something else?"

A long silence follows. "Okay, Alice, you can talk to her." His voice is resigned, like he really has no choice.

He gives me an apologetic look and hands me the phone.

His sister proves to be very persuasive. Every argument I put up, she dismisses. One of my biggest concerns is having nothing suitable to wear. This excuse, however, just gets her really excited.

"So that means we get to go shopping today. I'm coming over now, we have no time to lose."

"Wait, wait." I lament, but it is too late, she's hung up, presumable to come over and collect me for a shopping trip. God help me, I'm not one to enjoy shopping at the best of time.

I give Edward a panicked look.

"I'll call her back and rein her in." He assures me.

But it's no good, she briefly answers her phone, only to tell him she's driving and so can't talk. All further attempts go straight to voice mail.

"You know, it might not be as bad as you think," Edward tries to reassure me. "She really is good at shopping. She has an eye for selecting the right clothes, ones that accentuate your best assets."

"You have to have some best assets to make that true." I protest.

"Stop," he interrupts me abruptly, "What have we agreed about putting yourself down?"

This is a conversation that is starting to get old, I know, but it is hard to break the habit. "Besides," he adds with a devilish smirk, "I can think of at least two very delectable assets that tease and tempt me on a regular basis."

His eyes wander, obviously, down to my chest area and his mouth curls up into an even bigger cheeky grin as he wiggles his eye brows at me. The boy really is unstoppable.

"Okay," I relent, rolling my eyes, "but I'd much rather spend the day with you, eating junk food, watching movies and playing video games." I pout slightly; to emphasis I'm only doing this under desperation.

"I'd love for you to stay with me too, but I also think it might do you good to get a new wardrobe. Give you a boost. In fact, as your therapist, I'm becoming more convinced by the second it is in your best interest. So in that capacity, I order you to take your medicine and go shopping with Alice."

I scowl at him. I'd been relying on him to support me in my quest not to have to try on clothes, but he is now turning against me.

"Traitor," I spit just as the gate alarm buzzes.

"Come on up," Edward cheerily sings into the intercom, pushing the gate release button as he does so.

I continue to glare at Edward, waiting for him to take the hint and back down. There is no way I want to spend my valuable vacation time in dress shops, being poked and prodded by a complete stranger. It is bad enough going shopping on my own without an audience to the spectacle.

I decide to try pleading.

"Please, Edward, don't make me do it. I'm sure I've got something upstairs I can wear. We could spend the day by the pool again. You could spend the day staring at my tits!"

Yep, I was desperate.

Edward's response is simply to burst into fits of laughter.

"Beautiful, as appealing as that idea is, because let's face it, I do love staring at your tits, I don't think shopping with Alice is going to be that bad. I promise you though, that I'll have a word with her and ask her to go easy on you."

It is at this point that Alice bursts into the house. She is shorter than I had envisaged from her videos, but her hair is in her trademark pixie style, the bulk of it almost black, but today the ends are colored a vivid blue.

"Edward, hello," she announces as soon as she comes through the door, dismissing him instantly and turning her attention on me. "And you must be the delightful Bella. Jasper has told me so much about you. Well, it is so good to finally meet you," I find myself drawn into a tight embrace as she continues to talk, without appearing to need to stop to breath. "I'm so glad you agreed to this, it will really give us a chance to bond and get some girly time. I expect you're desperate for some, after being holed up here all week. I've got some great places lined up for us to visit. I'm going to find you the absolutely perfect outfit. You will look fabulous, believe me."

"Alice!" exclaims Edward loudly, breaking through the torrent of language that had just been thrown at me. "Remember to breath! You're scaring Bella."

I must look a tiny bit shocked, by which I mean, I probably look like I've been run over by a tank. Alice looks a little sheepish.

"Sorry, I can get a little carried away at times, but I promise I can act normally. It's just Jasper has told me all about you and I was excited to get to know you myself. Can we start again? I'm Alice, Edward's little sister and Jasper's better half."

She reaches out her hand and I tentatively take it in mine to shake. She looks like she wants to go in for another hug, but thinks better of it.

"I know who you are," I smile, despite still feeling a little overwhelmed, "Who doesn't know Alice Cullen. My kids love your music." Alice has had several hits and has even sung at the super bowl. Kim and Jared are going to be so jealous that I've met her. I realize they will never forgive me if I'm not nice to her, so I decide to suck it up and try to enjoy the day. I'm going to have to get a photo. I wonder if she'll mind?

"Thank you so much," she beams at me, "I'll have to give you my latest album to take home to them. Unless of course you've got it already? But, of course, I'll sign it for them. You'll have to tell me their names."

She abruptly stops talking, just as she's getting on a roll; silenced by Edward placing a firm hand on her shoulder.

She looks at me apologetically. "I'm doing it again, aren't I?" I nod.

"I will get you some stuff for your kids though," she continues in a less frantic nature, "If you'll agree to let me take you shopping."

Then she gives me what can only be described as puppy dog eyes.

"Please Bella," she continues, "I swear I'll find you the most magnificent outfit ever, you won't regret it. We'll have so much fun when we go out on Friday."

Oh right, this isn't just about a shopping trip. I also have dancing on Friday to contend with. My life just gets better and better.

"Of course she'll come with you." Edward answers for me, not letting me have any opportunity to back out.

"Bella, off you go and get dressed while I have a quick word with Alice here."

With that, he ushers me out the room. As he does so, he leans down close to whisper in my ear, "It's okay, I'll rein her in. She's fine once she calms down a bit, I promise."

"Okay," I relent. It's not like they're giving me much of a choice.

I rush upstairs and take a quick shower. I start to rummage through my stuff. What do you wear on a shopping trip with an internationally known singer? I have no idea, but I'm convinced nothing I own is suitable. I finally settle on a long black flowing skirt with a loose orange top to add a splash of color. I stand up and look at myself in the mirror. It's not too bad. I think I actually look quite good.

…..

We've been at it for what feels like hours and I've tried on more dresses, skirts, trousers and tops then I can count. I have to admit though, Alice really does know her stuff. Nearly everything I've tried on has looked good on me.

I have also been impressed by the service we have received, but I suppose that's what you get when you're famous and have money. As we enter each store, they are obviously expecting us and we are led to a private dressing area and handed glasses of champagne while a personal assist brings out racks of clothes she has pre-selected for us. The usual routine is for Alice to flick through the racks, throwing some items back at the assistant without even a second glance, while asking her to dig out some others before handing me a pile to try on. I then disappear behind a curtain and change.

After I've tried on everything Alice requested in the first store, I notice she has put aside a not unsubstantial pile of clothes she affirms as acceptable. I look it over and try to decide which items I can afford to actually get. After all, this is a designer shop and my purse is limited. I've just decide on a couple of classic items that I can mix and match with my wardrobe back home, but Alice comes over and tells the assistant we'll take the lot.

"Alice," I hiss at her drawing her to one side. "I can't afford all these clothes."

Alice gives me the largest smile and dips her hand into the back pocket of her tight fitting designer jeans, pulling out a black Amex card.

"Put them on this," she says handing the card to the assistant.

"Don't worry, it's on Edward," she assures me quietly, "And before you stress, this won't even put a dent in his finances."

I look at her in shock. This is too much. I can't let him foot the bill for my shopping trip. It's not right. I'm an independent woman of the 21st century. I pay my own way.

"No Alice," I protest, "I can't let him do that."

"You, my dear, don't have a choice. Beside, would you be buying any of these things if you weren't here?"

"Well no, but that's not the point." I'm feeling cornered and I get the feeling she's not going to take no for an answer.

"Look, wear them for the rest of the time here, and if they still offend you sensibilities of the modern woman, you can always donate them to charity when you get home. I'm sure any charity store would be more than grateful for them. But you know, it's rude to refuse a gift." She turns and strides off to collect the bags and I realize she really is not giving me a choice in this. I bow to the inevitable and reluctantly help her carry our haul out to the car.

...

We're in our third shop and I tentatively step back through the curtains with a skirt, topped off with a fitted yellow blouse.

Alice looks me over critically and as happens every time, I start to feel a little self-conscious.

"I like the skirt, it really accentuates your hips, giving you even more of an hour glass figure," she starts her evaluation, "The top is also good, it really helps pull in your waist and pop out your breasts, again adding to the hour glass look. But the color is really bad, it makes your skin look pale."

She turns to the shop assistant, "Have you got it in a blue?" She looks back at me and winks, "It's Edward's favorite color after all."

As the assistant scurries off, I smile. He's told me this before and has also given me compliments when I've worn blue clothes.

"You've got a good bra on," compliments Alice, "are all you bras up to that standard or do we need to hit a lingerie shop?"

Underwear is one area where I take my shopping seriously. I like knowing I'm in elegant undergarments and I can spend a small fortune on them. My bras always offer me really good support, as well as giving me that all important cleavage. I've found over the years that dressing right on the inside makes me feel sexier and more confident, even if I struggled to always believe it.

"They're all good, but you can never have enough bras. If we've got time we could always pick up a couple more."

"Oh, we'll make time. If you're going to seduce my brother, you need to feel and look the part. Some new lingerie will certainly help."

"Seduce!" I splutter. "I've no intention of seducing anyone. Alice, Edward and I are just friends. Neither of us is looking for more."

She quirks an eye brow.

"If you say so, but I got my report from Jasper the other night on the two of you and from what I've seen of the way you look at each other, your feelings are rather stronger than friends."

She's right of course. I've been trying to deny how I feel for Edward, but it's getting harder and harder to fight. But fight I must. There is no future in a relationship for us and I have no intention of starting what I'm unable to finish.

I sigh. "It's not going to happen Alice, please just let it go."

She gives me a look that's a mix between amusement and sadness.

"If you admit to me you like him and if the situation was different you'd go for it then I'll let it drop…. for now."

I look at Alice exasperated. I need to make her understand.

"I'll admit that he is one of the most attractive men I've ever met and I don't just mean his looks. He has charmed me with his compassion, his sense of humor and his mind, as well as his body," I admit to his sister, blushing at my admission.

Alice is starting to look excited, but I continue before she can cut in. "However, I can't let things progress. I have three kids I need to put first. They have been through so much and they need stability now, not more upheaval, especially not the attention and madness that I'm sure comes from dating Edward Cullen." I start to riffle through the rakes of clothes, needing something to do with my hands. I didn't expect to be discussing this with Edward's sister.

"But..." begins Alice.

"No but's, Alice," I interrupt, before she can even start, I'm sure I've been through every argument she can put forward in my own head over the last few days. "Yes, I agree there is an attraction between us, but how long would it last? How long before someone comes along who can give him all he wants and needs from a partner? Who am I to stand in the way of him getting all his dreams? I have three kids. I can't mess around. If I let someone in, I can't be constantly looking over my shoulder worried they are about to trade me and my kids for a younger model without my baggage."

I know this is unfair, but I can't take risks, and Edward Cullen is a risk.

"So, you're worried about him cheating on you?" Alice sounds shocked and I worry I've gone too far.

"Yes… no… I don't know. You do hear about it all the time in Hollywood. But it's not necessarily cheating, I just worry how long someone like me can hold his interest. I'm not interested in a life in front the cameras, or big Hollywood parties. I live a simple, domestic life, a long way from here. What if I'm just a passing phase or a novelty that will bore him in a few weeks? Compared to his friends, and you, I'm really not that interesting."

Alice comes to stand in front of me, pulling me away from the rack of clothes I've been moving around haphazardly, placing her hands firmly on my shoulders.

"Bella, I've only spent a couple hours in your company, but I already view you as a friend. I've found you interesting; I've really enjoyed your company and your sense of humor. Believe me, you have a lot more personality than most actresses out there. Don't worry about boring anyone. _You_ are a great person."

I feel my cheeks redden. I've never been good at receiving compliments.

"I also have to tell you Bella, Edward would never cheat. It's something I can guarantee."

"Why is that?" I sense there is a story here.

"That is something you are going to have to ask him about, and I suggest you do. You need to know where he's coming from. You're not the only one who finds it hard to trust, but for some reason he trusts you, and for that reason so do I. I don't believe he'd intentionally hurt you, or you him."

As the day wears on, I think about Alice's words, not sure what to do about them. Could I have a relationship with this man? There are still so many issues to overcome, but could we do it?

…

I spend the rest of the day with Alice and despite my misgivings; we get on well. At the end of the day, we stagger back to Edward's house. In addition to what Alice describes as 'the most marvelous outfit ever', I have lot of new everyday clothes and some more dressy outfits, just in case I do manage to develop a social life back home. Alice has also managed to pick up a couple items for Edward, explaining that she buys most of his wardrobe, as he also hates shopping and has no idea of what to wear.

We also spend a good couple hours after we've finished shopping getting pampered at a beauty salon. We get our nails done and Alice insists I get my hair cut refreshed. It has been a while since I've been to the hairdressers, it hasn't been a top priority over the past few months, but now I have to admit it looks fantastic, with new layers added to give texture to the retained length. I secretly hope Edward will like it.

It's while we're waiting for our nails to dry that Alice brings up a topic that soon become clear has been bothering her.

"Bella, I don't mean to pry, but I can't help noticing your wedding ring." I glance down at my left hand, spread out on the table in front of me. I smile fondly at the single solitaire ring that Jake gave to me on that magical evening on First Beach, sitting alongside the simple gold band.

"I don't believe my brother would be with a married woman, so I've been assuming you're divorced. You've mentioned your children, but no husband," Alice continues, "But why do you still wear the rings?"

"I'm not divorced," I say, "I'm a widow, and I still wear the rings because I'm not ready to take them off."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Bella. I hope I've not offended you." Alice sounds genuinely concerned.

I reach up to brush the tears I usually get at the mention of Jakes death, only to find them not there.

"It's okay, Alice," I reassure her, "It's getting easier to talk about... to think about even."

"It does that." She says and I see something like understanding in her eyes, it's like the look I saw in Edward's and Jaspers the other day. "Over time, you get to remember the good times without it hurting quite as much, but it never goes away fully." As she continues, she gets a faraway look in her eyes, as if she's replaying old memories.

"Alice?" I ask tentatively, not knowing if it's my place to pry, "Have you, Edward and Jasper lost someone?"

* * *

A/N So that's today's offering. Sorry for the cliff hanger. Then next update will be on Thursday so you don't have long to wait to learn a little of Edward's backstory. I hope it answers some questions.

I'd love to hear what you think of this story, so please feel free to review, good or bad, feedback is always welcome.


	10. Chapter 10 - Edward

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

 **A/N Just a short one today, but then it is the second one this week.**

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Chapter 10 - Edward

I look at the sadness in Alice's eyes after I've asked her if she, Jasper and Edward have lost someone and wonder if her answer will explain some of my Cocktails Man's compassion and empathy for my current situation.

Alice looks at me and I see the sadness there as she nods. "Our older brother, David," she explains, "It was a while ago now, when we were still in Chicago. Even though David was a year older, Edward always looked out for him. He was born with a heart defect and was smaller than the average boy his age. He couldn't participate in sports so would get picked on." I reach out and take her hand in mine, offering her my silent support. "In school he made the most unlikely friendship with Emmett. The two always looked odd together, but they got on so well. Jasper and Edward were in the year below, but the four of them were always together."

"What happened?" I encourage Alice, as she wipes away a lone tear.

"It was when Emmett and David were in their senior year. He just didn't wake up one morning. Edward was the one who found him. For a while he tormented himself, worrying if there was something he could have done, but the reality was there were no signs. The doctors said it would have been peaceful. His heart just stopped in his sleep."

I squeeze Alice's hand. The tragedy of the loss of such a young life and the impact it must have had on his family and his group of friends hits me. I remember Jasper's song and how it described my feelings perfectly; feelings he, Edward, Alice and Emmett share. I think about how Edward has been there for me and I understand more his word and how he was able to empathize so well. I should have realized he'd also suffered a loss. How could he understand so well without?

As I wrap my arms around Alice, united with her in our joint sense of loss, albeit for different people, I feel an overwhelming desire to get back to my CM and wrap my arms around him in a similar fashion. To offer to him the comfort he has given to me. To let him know I understand.

...

Later that evening I've changed back into Edwards t-shirt and boxers, ready for bed. The two of us are once again curled up on the sofa. We are enjoying a glass of wine and I'm amusing him with tales of my time with Alice.

"I like her."

"Good, and do you like your new clothes."

"I love them Edward, although I still feel guilty for accepting them."

"You shouldn't. If they are going to make you step up to the school gate with pride and your head held high next week, then it will be worth it. Besides it made Alice happy to be able to go shopping with you. Making the two most important women in my life happy, makes me happy."

His words are sweet, but also worry me. Am I really that important to him? How can he say these things when we've only known each other for a few days? Not that it's not flattering, but I worry about what will happen when I leave. Alice alluded earlier today that Edward has been hurt in the past and didn't trusting women easily. What if when I leave, I hurt him also?

I know I really need to talk to Edward about his past. He knows all about mine, but I know nothing of his.

"Edward. Can I ask you a question please?"

"Of course, beautiful, anything."

"Both Jasper and Alice have both said things that made me think you've been hurt in your past relationships. You know all about me, but I still feel I know so little about you. Could you tell me what went wrong with Tanya? From the outside point of view, it looked like you were the latest golden couple, all ready to get married, and then suddenly you weren't. Something obviously happened."

Edward is silent for a while and I think I've overstepped the mark.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me. I know how much you value your privacy. I just wanted to understand you more."

Edward still doesn't speak and I'm resigned to him not opening up to me. I had hoped he trusted me as much as I trusted him and I have to admit I'm disappointed. I'm just about to change the topic when he starts.

"Tanya left me for someone else."

I remain silent, giving him the space to tell me more.

"I thought she was it. I thought we were so in love. I thought we would grow old together, have a family and all that. I so wanted that dream, I still do, just not with her. I pictured us with two or three little rug rats running around our feet, going on family outings, spending the holidays with our parents. For a while, she convinced me she wanted the same." I can see the tension in his face as he talks. His shoulders are stiff and his hands grip the wine glass tightly.

"Then she threw it back in my face," he continues, "We'd only been engaged for a couple months and she starting acting off… distant. Eventually she told me she wanted different things in life. That she wasn't ready to settle down. That she wasn't even sure she wanted children. I was so sure we'd wanted the same things."

He closes his eyes and takes a large breath. I feel like I'm holding my breath waiting for him to continue.

He looks up at me again, with pain and anguish in his beautiful eyes. Eyes that should never know the pain of rejection.

He takes another deep breath and continues, "Then she told me that she'd developed feelings for someone else. Even though she assured me she hadn't acted on those feelings yet, it devastated me. I pulled back from my friends and family. All I did was work and feel sorry for myself. Until this week." He gives me a small smile and I smile back.

I'm on the brink of launching myself into his arms and holding him close. Anything to take his pain away.

"It wasn't the first time either. I seem to drive women towards other men. It's ironic really, as I'm not the sort of guy who would ever do that. I value loyalty above all else. It started in high school, before I was even famous. I'd been with Lauren for about six months and we went to senior prom together, as you'd expect. But half way through the evening, I couldn't find her anywhere. Eventually I came across her out the back of the hall, getting a quick fuck from the school quarterback. They're still together you know? They have two kids and live in a trailer park up near Chicago."

I wonder how anyone could do that to the wonderful, handsome man in front of me. He looks so lost at the moment, I have to give him some comfort. I move closer to him and tuck myself under his arm, leaning against his chest as I wrap my arms around him. For a moment, he doesn't move and then I feel his arms relax around me as he pulls me closer still.

"Then there was Victoria. You saw her at the club?" The red head? I think Jasper called her Victoria. I nod my assent.

"That one was splashed all over the tabloids. At least with Tanya, she didn't try and turn the breakup into a spectacle to further her career."

I feel the tension build up again in his torso and I rub my hand reassuringly over his chest, until I feel him relax again slightly.

"It would appear Victoria was more interested in enhancing her career, then actually being with me. I should have known from the way she insisted on us going to all the celebrity parties. Victoria would never miss a red carpet event. Then the minute someone more famous looked her way, I was left for dust. I was such a fool to trust her, to think she wanted the same things I did."

"You weren't a fool, Edward. Not with any of them. You trusted them and they let you down. That's not your fault."

"But three times, Bella. What does that say about me? Do I drive them away, into the arms of another?"

"You've just been unlucky, CM."

"All I've ever wanted is to fall in love, marry, start a family, grow old with someone. I look at my parents; they are so happy together and have been in love for so long. I've always wanted what they have."

I wish I could be that person. The one who will be there for him through thick and thin. My heart yearns for it. But I know I'm not the woman destined to be with him. I know one day, I will read in the papers about him finding that love and marrying someone, having children. The thought fills me with dread, but I quickly shut down the emotions.

"One day you will find someone who can give you all you need, who will love you and never let you down. Don't give up faith."

"I wish it was that easy, Beautiful. But how do I know who to trust? After being burnt so many times, how do I open up and trust again? I was so ready to settle down with Tanya, to get married, to start a family, to begin that next stage of my life with her. I used to dream about the beautiful children we'd have, taking them to the park, their first steps, teaching them to ride a bike. I so wanted that life, but then the rug was pulled from under me. How do I trust again after that?"

"You'll find someone Edward. You're still young. There is still plenty of time for you to settle down and start a family."

I know that's what he needs, what he deserves. A young girl at the same stage of life, one who can make all his dreams come true. He talks of wanting to start a family, but I already have one. I have no desire for more children. As much as I'd selfishly like to keep Edward in my life, I realize that I have to let him go. Let him achieve his dream. He deserves more than I can give him. He deserves his own children, with a wife he can feel proud of as he escorts her down the red carpet. That's not me.

As much as it hurts me, on Sunday I will go back to my life and never see Edward again. I will leave him to find his perfect future, a future I can't be part of. It will hurt, but better now than later. It will need to be a clean break, a complete break, so we can both move on, healed and ready for the next phases of our lives.

After Sunday, I will never see Edward Cullen again.

* * *

A/N So now we know about Edward. What do you think will happen next? Hope you're enjoying reading and I'd love to hear what some of you think of his little story of mine. Reviews are always received with joy.


	11. Chapter 11 - No Regrets

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

Chapter 11 – No Regrets

I look at myself in the mirror and I'm pleased with the effect. My legs have been elongated by a pair of high heeled boots, pulled over the top of fitted black pants. A loose fitting dark blue chiffon blouse covers my top, which hints of the figure hugging bodice underneath. The bodice boosts my cleavage and pulls in my waist, showing off my curves perfectly. I feel almost sexy. I slip on a simple heart shaped pendant that I'd brought with me from home. I'm not sure it goes with the dress completely, but it's all I have.

I don't usually wear much make up, but tonight I've gone all out giving myself dark smoky eyes and bold red lips. My eyebrows are looking very shapely and my legs have been shaved.

Edward and I have been doing more sunbathing over the last two days, but I still don't seem to be developing any color. But it doesn't really matter. In two days, I go back to rainy Forks, so it's not like anyone one would see a tan. But Edward was right, after laying around in a bikini for a few days, I'm feeling much more relaxed with my body. I've enjoyed watching his body tan though. The added color seems to help accentuate his well-toned chest and abdomen. I'm going to miss seeing that body every day when I go home. After our talk the other night, Edward and I have managed to keep our hands to ourselves. We still wake up wrapped around each other, but we seem to have reached an agreement not to push our relationship.

Time to show Edward. As I descend the stairs, carefully in my heels, I hear him pottering around in the lounge and I go in to join him. He's busy at the bar making up a couple of drinks for us to enjoy whilst we wait for Alice and Jasper.

Alice has arranged for her and Jasper to ride with us tonight. She informed us that Emmett and Rosalie will be meeting us at the club. I look at my watch and realize they will be here soon. I take one last look at myself in the mirror, smoothing down my loose straightened hair, admiring the new layers that I had now.

Edward has told me the club will have paparazzi outside, who will no doubt be keen to get pictures of Alice and Edward. If Edward and I enter together it is very likely we will be linked and the rumor mill will start. Therefore, when we get to the club the plan is for Alice, Jasper and I to enter first, making it look like I'm just a friend of Alice's. Edward will then slip in on his own a little later, to join us inside.

As I enter the room, Edward looks up and his eyes meet mine. He is wearing the outfit Alice picked out for him, consisting of a pair of stylish low hanging jeans, a black button down shirt that has been left open at the collar, revealing just the right amount of chest hair, and a black suit jacket over it. He has a slight stubble to his jaw that I feel an urge to run my nails over and his hair looks its usual unkempt self. He looks good enough to eat and I feel a tingling between my legs as my brain imagines me stripping him out of those clothes, as I run my hands through his hair and feel his stubble as his kisses me everywhere.

Stop now, Bella, there will be no kissing, no stripping and no hands in hair. Keep it clean. Only two nights to go and then you have to say goodbye to this god of a man. I quickly shake my head to free it of both the naughty thoughts and also the sad thoughts of leaving. I intend to enjoy tonight and so refuse to wallow.

I watch as he looks me up and down without saying a word. I wish I knew what he was thinking. I'm struggling to read his eyes as they roam over my body and back up to my face. As his scrutiny continues and the moment stretches out, I start to worry that something is wrong. I thought I looked damn good, but maybe he doesn't approve. Perhaps it's all a little too revealing.

Edward starts walking towards me. His eyes bore into me as he approaches and his lips curl up into his panty dropping smile.

"Beautiful, you look… there are no words. Gorgeous, delectable, stunning, dazzling, sexy… none of them does you justice."

His words are pure seduction and I feel my face getting redder and redder, both from embarrassment and lust. He reaches for me and stretches out the back of his hand to stroke my cheek. "And that just adds to the appeal," he breathes.

I'm speechless. All I can do is swallow, as I try to regain my composure. The look in his eyes, combined with his words has rendered me mute and immobile.

"Turn around," he says, "I've got a surprise for you."

I obey, helpless to do otherwise.

Does he know the effect he has on me? Does he do it on purpose?

Edwards runs his hand down my hair, his fingers delicately brushing my neck as they does so, before gathering it together and sweeping it over my left shoulder. I watch in the wall mirror as he plants a small gentle kiss to my exposed right shoulder, before I feel him fiddling with the clasp of my necklace.

"Hand," he demands and I hold out my hand as his reaches around me and places my old piece of jewelry into it.

"Close your eyes," he says and once again I obey, as he slips something around my neck before doing up the clasp.

"You can open your eyes now. Tell me if you like it." He pushes me a couple steps forward, closer to the wall mirror and I open my eyes.

Around my neck is a beautiful diamond and sapphire pendant hanging from a black velvet choker. It's exquisite and I have to force myself to look away and into Edward's anxious eyes in the mirror.

"It's too much, Edward. I can't accept this," I whisper, in awe of his generosity.

"You can and you will accept them. I have the earrings too, but I thought it best if you put them in." He smiles at me and gives a small, almost nervous chuckle as he hands me a set of matching earrings. They are small and delicate and will suit me perfectly. I look at him in a way I hope portrays I'm not happy about accepting these gifts.

"You're not going to let me say no to these are you?" I complain, resigning myself to accept them.

"Nope," he says dismissively, looking a little more confident now as he anticipates me not putting up much of a fight.

Reluctantly, I put the earrings in and look at myself in the mirror. I have to admit, they really are stunning and go so well with the bodice and top I'm wearing.

"When did you get these? How did you know they would work with what I'm wearing?" I ask.

"I have to confess to getting a little help. Alice texted me a link to a few suggestions whilst you were at the spa and I picked my favorite. Please say you like them." He looks at me sheepishly.

"Like them, I love them. I still think it's too much, but thank you Edward, they're beautiful." I turn to face him, and can't help the huge appreciative smile that spreads across my face at the look of joy in his eyes.

"It's worth it to see that smile on your face," he says as he reaches out and takes my hands in his before pulling me into a hug. "I'm going to be the envy of every man there tonight with you standing next to me. Promise me you won't go off with some rich film producer or devilishly handsome rock star."

"What, when I have my own devilishly handsome cocktail man? Never."

…

We don't have to wait long for Alice and Jasper to arrive. As Jasper walks in he gives a whistle as he takes me in. "Wow, Bella, you are looking mighty fine."

"I told you that was the one," says Alice looking a little smug, "You are going to be fighting them off tonight."

At Alice's words I see a brief look cross Edward's face. Was it worry or envy? However, it is gone too quickly for me to get a real fix on it.

"Anyway, we can't just stand around here all night. I want to dance. Let's get going," and with these words Alice bustles me and Jasper out the door towards the waiting car.

"We'll see you there Edward," she calls back over her shoulder. I just have time to give him a small smile and a wave before we drive off.

….

The club is busy when we arrive. As Alice and Jasper make their way in, with me trailing slightly behind, the journalists snap away, almost blinding them. Alice holds her head high and saunters through, ignoring their questions and the flashes. As expected, I'm ignored. If you're not famous, or on the arm of someone famous they're not interested.

Upon entering, Alice and Jasper expertly maneuver us through the crowd to a VIP booth away from the main crowd. I spot Rosalie and Emmett, both looking stunning. I'm instantly pulled into a bear hug by Emmett and given the full force of his dimpled smile. Once released, Rosalie gives me a brief embrace and apologizes for her husband's exuberance.

We haven't been there very long, and Rose has been filling me in on the latest funny stories about her daughter as I sip at my drink. I feel two strong arms wrap around my torso. They are accompanied by a voice in my ear that sends shivers down my spine.

"I can't believe I left you alone in a place like this looking like that, Beautiful. The drive over here was torture thinking about all the men that would be getting to see you and to think about what they'd like to do to you." The possessive tone in his voice causes my heart beat to pick up and I feel like my legs are turning to jelly. I have no idea how to respond to him, or if I even could at the moment.

Just then, I'm saved from having to think by a waitress arriving to take our orders and Edward moves away to talk to Emmett, whilst Rosalie and Alice give me knowing looks that I try to ignore.

I'm too busy trying to get my composure back. I can still feel where his breath brushed against my neck and the warmth from his arms around my torso. I realized I want more. I yearn for it, every cell in my body crying out for it. Would that be so wrong? If we both want it and both know what we're getting into, who would it hurt? Besides I don't think if he touches me again or looks at me with those deep green eyes, I'm going to be able to say no to him. I want him so badly it almost hurts.

But even as my body and soul seems drawn to him, my brain still rebels. The rational side of me knows, that taking things further will complicate an already complicated situation. There is no long term relationship here. In two days I go home to my ordinary life, probably to never see Edward Cullen again.

Would he be interested in a brief fling? Would I? Could I settle for that? These are not questions I can answer, so I push them to the back of my mind and grab another drink.

We chat as a group for a couple of drinks before Alice gets restless.

"We need to dance," she announces and grabs both Rosalie and my hands. "Bye guys, if you want to join us you know where we'll be."

I try to protest, but it would appear I don't have a choice in the matter.

Once on the dance floor, I try and move to the music. A strong, deep beat that seems to resonate up from the floor, through my feet and into my whole body. The couple drinks I've had, along with my desire to let my hair down and just enjoy myself, help to reduce my inhibitions. As I move, I allow my mind to clear of all my worries and I just feel, getting lost in the music.

The three of us dance in a tight group, but that doesn't stop people… men… from trying to join us. We are only a song in and I feel someone behind me, moving in time with me to the music. The body feels wrong, it's too short and has the wrong smell, it's not my CM, so I quickly step forward and move to the other side of Rosalie hoping he will get the hint. He does and I see him move off in search of a more willing targets, as I allow myself to once again get lost in the beat.

But it would appear my outfit is causing the reaction Edward had feared because it isn't long until I've caught the eye of another suitor. Now don't get me wrong, I'm flattered by the attention I'm getting, and it really is doing my self-esteem a lot of good. It is so long since I've been out dancing and I really wasn't expecting much attention. I don't know if it's just the outfit I'm wearing or if the new found confidence Edward has given me is having an effect, but I seem to be attracting men like bees to honey. Most have, so far, taken the hint that I am not interested without too much hassle. A step away, a shake of the head or a simple, "I'm sorry, I'm just here to dance with my friends," seems to do the trick.

Suddenly I look up and spot Edward at the edge of the dance floor. He has an expression on his face I find hard to read. It looks to be somewhere between a mix of anger, desire and awe. I wander what he is thinking and consider going to join him, but despite my initial concerns about dancing, I am really enjoying letting myself go, so I just continue to give myself over to the dance. There is something really liberating in the act and I'm not ready to let go of that feeling just yet. I allow my eyes to close as I just enjoy being.

The next thing I know I feel a fresh pair of hands on my hips. This time, however, as I am about to step away I smell a scent that fills me with desire and then a familiar velvety voice whispers into my neck before kissing me just below my ear with such soft lips there was no way I can escape.

"Don't run away from me, Beautiful, I don't think I could bear it."

I bring my hands up and wrap them around his neck and into his soft hair, reveling in the feel of his body pushed hard up against mine as we move as one to the beat of the music. The sensation is overpowering and I feel goose bumps rise up over my whole body as he sways me and pulls me in tighter to his hips.

The closeness of his body and the feel of his lips as they ghost softly over my neck is making me more turned on then I should allow myself to be, but in that moment I am not able to stop. I have no more power to pull away from him. In that moment, I am his completely. My body cries out for him and I feel the heat rise up through me, making all rational thought impossible.

As we move together, it becomes clear that I am having a similar effect on him as the evidence of his arousal presses firmly into my back and I hear him mumble into my neck, "Oh the things you do to me, Beautiful."

As the song ends, he pulls slightly away before turning me in his arms.

"I need to cool off, come and get a drink with me?"

I am too intoxicated by his presence to speak, but manage a small nod as I gaze into his lust filled eyes. He is right, I really need to cool off, before I jump this man and demanded he take me here and now in the middle of the dance floor.

He leads me to a dark corner of the bar in the VIP section. It's secluded and away from prying eyes. I feel like we are in our own little bubble.

Edward quickly attracts the attention of the bar tender, a girl in her twenties wearing a bright pink crop top and skin tight blue jeans. She smiles seductively at Edward and asks for his order.

He, however, pays her no attention and instead gives me a devilish grin. "Shots I think," as he says it he pushes my hair back behind my ear, before running his hand down my neck and then further down over my arm, taking my hand in his.

"Tequila?" I ask.

"Good plan, Beautiful," he turns to the young girl, who is looking a little pissed off at being ignored, "You heard the lady, line up the Tequila, oh and leave the bottle, I think we might be having a few."

She slams down two shot glasses on the counter, followed by the requested bottle of Tequila, salt and a dish of lime segments, before storming off to serve another customer.

"What has her panties in a twist?" Edward looks perplexed. I just smile at him and shake my head. I'm not going to tell him the thin, scantily clad blond was into him. I'm perfectly fine with him staying blissfully unaware. Call me selfish, but at this moment I want my Cocktail Man to myself.

"So, what should we drink to?" he asks and I think for a moment.

"To moving on and living life to the fullest," I reply. It is what I really want to do, and in this club with this beautiful man in front of me, I feel I can truly do it. Hell, I am doing it. Things may feel different once I get home, but for now I want to live for the moment.

He smiles and we both sprinkle salt on the sides of our hands and pick a piece of lime. I look him straight in the eye as we both raise our glasses. "To moving on," he repeats the first part of my toast as he licks his salt and then knocks back his glass before biting into his lime.

I mirror his actions, without us once losing eye contact. Watching his tongue snake out and lap at his skin is the best possible seduction. The things I can imagine that tongue doing to me in the most intimate of places. I find my thighs rubbing together involuntarily and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

As soon as we've both finished the first shot, Edward reaches out and pours us another. I'm still lost in my thoughts about Edward's tongue, when I feel him lift my hand to his mouth before licking it himself to provide a surface for the salt to stick to. As I feel his rough tongue slide over my smooth skin, my mouth falls open. The sensation is overwhelming and all coherent thoughts leave my mind. He applies the salt and puts a new lime wedge between my fingers, before placing the glass of tequila in my other hand.

"To living life to the fullest," he toasts again and in a trance, I lick the area of skin where only moments before Edwards tongue had been, throw back the drink and then bite into the lime. Once again, Edward watches me the whole time, mirroring my movements as he too takes his second shot. As he finishes, he allows the tip of his tongue to run along his lower lip, taking in a drop of lime juice that rests there. I bite into my own lip to prevent a moan from escaping, that would have let him know exactly the effect he is having on me. My knees feel weak and I lean against the bar for support.

He must notice me sway slightly and I feel him step closer, before wrapping his arm around me to help support me. This only serves to make me feel even more light-headed and I think I may even swoon a little.

To cover up my dizziness, I lean my forehead against his chest and take a few deep breaths. Being able to not see his eyes helps a little; however, I am now getting huge lungfuls of pure Edward scent and it is intoxicating. I try to fool myself for all of five seconds, that it is the drink making me feel this way, but the truth is I am high on my CM.

"Are you okay?" The concern is evident in his voice, but there is also a touch of amusement.

"I just need a moment." I reply huskily.

"No problem," he whispers, kissing the top of my head whilst stroking the back of my hair. The gesture is so caring and gentle and makes me not want to move, so I don't. I'm not sure how long I stand there in his arms. I know at some point, my arms come up to wrap around him and I just enjoy breathing in his scent and feeling his warm embrace.

"Are we staying like this all night, or do you want another shot?" he asks playfully.

"Another shot," I reply, but make no attempt to move.

I feel his chuckle vibrate through his chest. "You'll need to let me go first, Beautiful."

Shit, he's right. "Sorry." I mumble and pull back, embarrassed, looking at the floor. The drink must be really starting to go to my head.

"Hey, don't. Don't look down." He lifts my chin up to enable him to look me in the eye, "I was enjoying it too." He smiles at me, the sexy lopsided smile that I am powerless against, and rubs my cheek. He pulls in a breath over his teeth, "That blush will be the death of me," he says quietly.

Our eyes lock for a couple more seconds before he turns back to the bar and refills our glasses. I watch once again as he licks the back of his hand and applies the salt, but this time he doesn't apply salt to me, instead, after putting a shot glass into my hand, be brings his hand up to my lips.

"To reciprocation," he toasts as I lick the salt from his skin, before knocking back my drink and taking the lime he brings up to my lips between my teeth. As I do, my lips brush against his fingers and I feel a tingle run though my body, taking over every part of me. It is a feeling so over powering in its intensity. I want this man and I want him now. Fuck how I'll feel in the morning, fuck feeling guilty, fuck the consequences and going home. I want to live for now, and now I want him. The want is so great, I feel like even my bones are aching from it. Every cell in my body feels like it's attracted to him. It is as if he is a black hole, pulling me in with no chance of escape. I know it is going to hurt, but I am powerless to stop it.

"God, I want to kiss you," he whispers.

"Then do," I reply quietly.

That is all it takes. I feel his hand reach up and cup my jaw, his thumb moves reverently across my cheek. He steps a little closer, so close I can feel the heat coming off him. His breath is quick and shallow, his eyes are dark with longing.

His other hand runs up to rest on my hip, as he draws me closer still. There is less than an inch between our lips. "Are you sure?" he breathes.

"Yes," I whisper, then his lips are on mine. The initial contact is soft and tentative, but it isn't long before it becomes more demanding. I can feel the desire and I want more. I bite his lower lip, drawing it into my mouth. As I do, I hear a low moan and his tongue creeps out to brush across my upper lip, seeking entrance. A soft groan rises from my chest unbidden, as my lips part allowing him to explore me further.

The feel of his tongue against mine, exploring, seeking, searching is more powerful then I could have ever imagined and I surrender to the feelings. I am consumed by the moment, by the feel of his lips, hard and insisting, against mine as his hands take purchase around my body, one in my hair and one at the small of my back, bringing me closer, but I can't get close enough. I want to be part of his body, to feel every inch, to know every line and every contour. I never want this moment to end. I want to bottle it and savor it. The world around us has ceased to exist, there is only him and I and this wondrous, all-encompassing kiss.

But eventually we have to come up for air and we slowly pull apart. He rests his forehead against mine and we both fight to regain our breath.

"That was even better then I imagined," he says, looking me in the eyes with a mixture of lust and awe. I'm sure the look is mirrored in my face also.

"Can we do that again? Soon?" I want more. I've had nowhere near my fill of my CM yet.

"Of course, Beautiful, any time." But instead of kissing me again he pulls away with a cheeky grin. "But first, more shots," he declares.

"You are such a tease!" I retort, grinning at him like a fool.

"But you love me for it." He smirks at me before pouring two more shots and offering me one.

"To feeling the earth move," is the new toast he suggests and I go along with it because it certainly has for me.

That was the last thing I remember clearly about that evening.

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A/N So what do you think will happen next? Do you think Bella was right to give into her desires? Do you think she is going to end up hurting Edward after he's already been through so much? Or will she be hurt herself? Is she right to be cautious about a relationship with him? Let me know what you think.

I have an Edward POV that covers chapter 2 and gives more depth to his backstory as well as his motivation for sending that cocktail. If you're interested in reading it I will post it as a separate outtake. Let me know.


	12. Chapter 12 - What Did I Do?

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

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Chapter 12 – What did I do?

I wake up feeling my head is pounding, mouth is dry and I feel confused and disorientated.

My eyes don't want to open and I lie there, just waiting a moment to get myself together. There is the familiar feel of Edward's arm and leg draped over me, his hand, as usual, cupping my breast, but for some reason they feel different today. Then I realize it is because I am naked, and from the feeling of his body behind me, spooning in close, he is too. This is a new feeling.

Then I start to get flashes of the previous night. It is hard to grasp anything clearly and I feel like I am viewing it through a fog. One thing I do remember distinctly is the kiss during our shots at the bar. I smile involuntarily and the fingers of my left hand brush over my lips. I'm glad I remember that part of the evening. I would hate to have lost the memory of that perfect first kiss. My smile broadens as I allowed the memory to fill my mind.

Our first kiss. If that was all I would ever be allowed to have of Edward then I would die happy, but as more memories surface, I realize I got more. A whole lot more.

My memories allow me a brief glimpse of us fondling and making out in the back of his SUV and I hope we hadn't been too inappropriate in front of Demetri; that could be really embarrassing.

Then I start to receive flashes of what happened after we got home. I let the memories play out as if they are happening to someone else. I remember him pushing me hard up against the door as soon as he'd closed it. There was a desperation in our actions, we were stripping each other of clothes, wanting to get closer, neither of us able to stop.

Then my memory jumps to the bedroom and I see Edward looking down at me from above as he moves slowly yet deeply within me. The memory stirs feelings in me. Feelings of lust and desire. The memory is full of soft touches and sweet words, longing looks and reverent kisses. I remember a soft whispering of my name as he came undone, moments before I joined him, and then the memory ends.

I feel a deep disappointment that this is all I have of the experience, just a few moments of memory, I want more. Why did I let myself get so drunk? Would he remember what we'd done? Would his memory be more full then mine or would he just have a blank? Do I regret last night? Should we have done it?

My head replies first, telling me it was a mistake, one I'll live to regret, but my heart quickly fights back. The few moments I remember were wonderful and beautiful, I refuse to regret them. I just hope I don't go on to hurt this man who has helped me so much.

I'm contemplating getting up to get a glass of water, not really wanting to leave his embrace, when I feel him stirring. His arms hug me gently to him and I feel him kiss my shoulder.

"You're naked," he murmurs into my flesh, continuing to pepper me with light delicate kisses.

"So are you." My voice sounds husky after the night in the club and the excessive amount of alcohol.

"I like it. I like the feel of your skin. You sound sexy too."

"Thanks, but I feel awful," I reply referring to my pounding head and queasy stomach. Drinking to excess is less easy to brush off as you get older. I seriously need to get my hands on some greasy food and painkillers soon. I could also really do with brushing my teeth as my mouth feels like it has been licking the floor of the club, rather than Edward's sexy body… And there goes my head, right back to the gutter.

"You're feeling bad about what we did." It is more of a statement than a question and I can hear the resignation in his voice. I suddenly realize my words can be interpreted another way. He thinks I'm feeling bad over what we did last night. I think about this for a moment and I find that guilt isn't there. I think about Jacob. How would he feel about me being here? Should I feel guilty? No, I don't think I should. Jacob is gone, and he's not coming back. I came here to move on and that is what I'm allowing myself to do. It wasn't like I was going to keep myself celibate for the rest of my life. This was going to happen at some point. It's certainly happened a good deal earlier then I would have expected, but does it matter if it's three months or three years? If I feel ready, isn't that what's important? Not some socially acceptable norms for the expected period of mourning. I realize I've been silent, lost in my thoughts, for too long.

Edward is drawing back from me and as he does, he offers me an apology, "I shouldn't have let things go that far, Beautiful. I did check, you were happy and you kept pushing us forward, telling me and showing me you wanted more. I'm sorry if you regret it now." He sounds tormented, like he feels he pushed me into this, when the truth is if I'd not wanted it, not been craving it for days, it wouldn't have happened.

I turn around to face him, taking his beautiful face in my hands.

"Edward, what I remember about last night was beautiful and magical. My only regret about it is that my memory is so sketchy, I wish I could remember every touch, every caress, every kiss, every moment in your arms. Please believe me, I don't regret what we did, I just wish I'd drank less so my memory was clearer, and I don't feel so hungover now."

"I'm sorry I got you so drunk. The shots seemed like a good idea at the time. The pounding in my head says we may have taken it a little too far," he confesses.

I smile and I see him visibly relax. "You didn't get me anything Edward. I'm a grown woman, I know my limits. If I chose to push them, for whatever reason, that's my choice."

He smiles back at me. "So what do you remember?" he asks.

"The important bits… I think. I remember us ripping our clothes off in the hall and…." I pause, embarrassed to say more.

"Tell me Beautiful," he prompts.

"I remember your face, looking down on me, as you claimed me and made me yours."

He smiles softly at me and brushes a lose hair back off my cheek. Then his face brakes out into his trademark smirk, "I could always give you a repeat performance, see if it jogs your memory."

He rolls over onto me, pinning me to the bed. I can't deny the feel of him so close makes me want to give into him there and then. I want nothing more than to consume him and to be consumed by him. But I have serious morning breathe and if we're going to do this again, I want it to be memorable for the right reasons. Vigorous movement at the moment is not advisable.

"CM, I really want to kiss you and feel you and… well you know, but can we please take a short rain check. I need pain killers, a shower and food, preferably in that order. I need to feel slightly human again before I have to move too much. The last thing I want to do is throw up on you."

I know it isn't my most romantic speech, but sometimes you just have to tell it like it is.

He looks down at me for a few moments. "As long as you don't keep me waiting too long, I think I can accommodate your demands. But I'm getting you back here, exactly in this position, as soon as you're feeling better." His words warm me at my core and I wonder how I managed to last as long as I did without succumbing to the sexual attraction between us.

"No problem." I smile, but my smile soon fades to be replaced by a lust filled moan seconds later as his lips delicately kiss my neck. "Fuck it, just take me now, I don't think I can wait," I moan.

He chuckles, obviously pleased with the affect he is having on me, gives me one last suck on my ear lobe, before rolling off me and sauntering over to the bathroom.

I watch his retreating form, taking in the shape of his lean back as the muscles bunch and contract as he walks. My eyes continue down to his taut butt, that is the perfect shape and roundness. I can't prevent a groan escaping. His only reply is another soft chuckle. He knows exactly what he is doing.

I lay back on the bed, closing my eyes, trying desperately to get my pounding head in order. I must doze off because the next thing I know a recently showered Edward is beside me again, dressed only in a towel wrapped low around his waist. His hair is wet and disheveled. I'd love nothing more than to run my hands through it, then to allow them to roam down his body, over his wondrous chest, to his slight six pack, then to follow his happy trail further south… Fuck, I need to get my head out of the gutter. What is this man doing to me?

Edward places a glass of water and two Tylenol tablets onto the night stand. "I'm going to make us some food. How does breakfast in bed sound?" he asks.

"Delightful," I murmur.

With that he bends over, gives me a quick peck on the forehead, running his fingers gently over my cheek as he does so. Then he turns and leaves.

I lie there for a moment more before I get the strength to sit up and take the tablets, being sure to drink all the water.

...

I ponder last night further as I step into the hot shower, allowing its pulsing jets to wake up my body and mind. I have a few things I need to check with Edward. I'm hoping his memory of last night is a little clearer than mine. Firstly, I'm very much aware that I'm not on the pill. The last thing I need is to fall pregnant. I know the talk about contraception isn't going to be the most romantic and I desperately want to avoid it, but it is a necessity. If we didn't take precautions last night, I am going to need to get some emergency contraception.

Well there is nothing for it, I'm going to have to bite the bullet and bring the subject up.

I'm also concerned about what happens tomorrow, after I go home. From the brief memories I have of last night, we were good together, really good, and today I have promises of more to come. But what does that mean? There are still so many obstacles to us starting a proper relationship and we need to discuss where this is going. I don't want to hurt him or lead him on, although I think that boat may have already sailed.

I didn't come here to find a relationship, especially a long distant relationship with a movie star. There is also our age difference to consider. We are in very different places in our lives and I'm not sure our plans for the future are mutually compatible, after our conversation the other night about his desire to start a family. It's another difficult subject that really needs to be handled before I let things go any further. Drunken sex is one thing. Continuing the relationship is another entirely.

I'm just coming out the bathroom wrapped in a large fluffy towel, when Edward enters the bedroom with a generous tray of food. I spot bacon sandwiches, as well as fruit juice, toast and bagels with cream cheese. My stomach gives a large rumble in response. Yep, I need food.

I smile thankfully to Edward. I'm already starting to feel a lot better as the pain killers kick in and the shower has helped to reenergize me. All I need now is a little food in my belly.

"They say food is the way to a man's heart, but I think it works equally well for hungover women," I say as I walk toward him.

He looks over at me with a corresponding smile on his face and beckons me over to the bed, putting down the tray on the night stand.

As I approach him, he takes me in his arms and holds me close. "I'm glad you're not freaking out," he sighs. Then he bends down and kisses me chastely on the lips.

"Now, back into bed," he orders.

As I climb in, I feel him grab my towel so that as I move forward it comes off me.

"We can eat naked in bed, I think." he smirks at me. Cheeky Edward is definitely in attendance today. There's nothing for it, but to climb between the sheets and act like I eat breakfast in bed naked with a demi god of a man every day. However, I do make sure I watch as he removes his own towel and climbs between the sheets next to me. Boy, does this man have a good body.

We eat in relative silence, just enjoying the food and each other's company. Every so often our legs or arms brush against each other, and most of the time it isn't an accident. We exchange sideways glances and secret smirks, I think both of us are feeling a lot of desire to repeat last night.

But first we needed to have _the_ conversation.

"So Edward, how much of last night do you remember?" I kick off.

"I have to admit parts are a little hazy for me too. Maybe more will come back later," he adds with a cheeky smirk and a raised eyebrow.

I swallow and take the plunge: "Do you remember if we used protection?" I look down at the bed, worried about his answer and the potential consequence, but if we act now then it should be okay.

A silence fills the room as he thinks for a moment. I glance up and see his now serious expression, before looking back down to hide my embarrassment. "I think we're okay," he says, once again raising my chin to look at him in the face. "I know it's not the most romantic of conversations, but you're right to address the issue." He smiles at me reassuringly. "I remember opening a condom packet and putting one on so it looks like, despite out inebriation, we managed to be sensible."

He reaches over and opens the draw of his night stand, pulling out an opened box of condoms. "This was unused before last night," he quickly checks the contents, "Yep, definitely one missing now. We're home and dry."

I let out a sigh of relief. Not that Edward wouldn't give me beautiful babies, but I am a thirty-eight year old single mother of three children already. The last thing I need is to fall pregnant again, especially with a man who lives in another state in constant limelight and who I probably won't see again after this weekend.

STOP, don't think about that. I refuse to feel sad about leaving Edward tomorrow.

"So you're not on the pill?" Edward asks.

"No." I go no to explain further, "After Kim, Jake and I talked and both decided that three was enough for both of us, so he got a vasectomy. It's been a while since I've really had to think about contraception."

"That's understandable." Edward's words seem innocent enough, but there is something there. I think he may be realizing, as I have previously, that our age difference is more than just a number. We really are at different stages of our lives. He wants kids, I've had kids.

"That's something else we should talk about, CM." I decide I need to take the bull by the horns. We can't go into this thinking it is going to be more than it is. It will just end up hurting both of us.

"What happens tomorrow? What are your expectations, Edward, for what happens once I go home? We both live very different lives. We both have very different expectations for the next stages of our lives. We're both looking for different things. I struggle to see how we can have a relationship that goes beyond tomorrow. I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to get hurt, but if you're looking for something long term, I don't see how that's possible."

I look down again, not able to look into his eyes. Scared of what I might see.

If I could think of a way to make this work, I would so love to go for it with Edward, but I can't be selfish. He would have to give up so much to be with me. How can I take away from him his right to have his own children? When he painted that future he craves, the one with a wife and rug rats, I saw the desire in his eyes. I can't deprive him of that. He needs the opportunity to have what Jake and I had.

I need to put my kids first, I need to be there for them, not here in some fantasy world. I have to face reality and this is not real life. I can't subject them to Hollywood and the press intrusions, and I can't ask him to give up his future to be with us.

But then perhaps he's not looking for a serious long term relationship with me, perhaps he just wants a brief fling. God, I'm making a fool of myself when all he wants is sex and I'm going on and on about how a relationship won't work, when he doesn't even want a relationship. Fuck.

"Shhhh, Beautiful. I can almost hear your mind working overtime. Don't over think this." He looks down at his hands.

"I understand your reservations," he continues, "I understand you feel you can't have a relationship with me. This can be anything you want, Beautiful, I'm willing to take as much or as little of you as I can get. I appreciate you don't want to be part of the madness that is my life, so if you want to walk away tomorrow and never look back that's fine. But please, for today, don't over think things. Let us just enjoy our last day together and face the consequences tomorrow."

As he speaks, he looks up into my eyes and I see the pleading there, the desire to share this day with me as if we could have more. I look deep into his eyes. I want more with this man so much, but I know it can't be. I can't be selfish and have him. He needs more than I can give him and my kids need stability. But he's right, we can have today.

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A/N: So next update we will find out how they spend their final day together!


	13. Chapter 13 - The Passion

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

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 **We're finally going to see these two have some fun together. I'd love to get your feedback on this story and this chapter in particular. It's my first lemon so let me know if it worked or not. See you at the bottom.**

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Chapter 13 – The Passion

Our first kiss that morning was different than our kiss the night before. The previous evening there was so much desire, so much passion. We both seemed in a rush to see where it would take us. This morning we both take our time. We kiss softly, learning the feel of each others lips. He sucks gently on my lower lip and my tongue caress his upper lip.

We savor each moment, just enjoying the feel. Slowly we progress in our explorations. His tongue licks my lower lip and my lips part to allow entrence. The feel of his tongue against mine, sends shivers down my spine. My body cries out for more, but I want to take it slow, to enjoy and appreciate every touch, every caress, every move.

We're both naked, lying side by side and it's not long before it's not just our mouths doing the exploring. Slowly his hands wander all over my body, squeezing and stroking my contours. They run down the outside of my legs, up my sides and back, over my breasts, around my butt cheeks. He grips my hand, threading our fingers together, before stoking up my arm, over my shoulder, exploring my collar bone and neck on the way, and down my back. There is not an inch of my body he doesn't explore, except the place where I want him most. Involuntarily, I push my hips towards him, desperate for some friction. "Patience, Beautiful, patience," he whispers in my ear, "I want to know you, to remember you, to feel you. You have a beautiful body, so good to touch. I never want to stop."

As he talks, he trails kisses down my throat before starting to go lower, onto my breasts. The feel of his lips and tongue moving softly, delicately over my sensitive skin has me rendered useless. I'm not sure how much more I can take. My whole body feels like it is soaring. He has only touched my skin so far, but I know I'm not far off, he has so much power over me. Then he takes one of my nipple in his mouth. He sucks and licks and gently bites, all the while matching the movement with his hand on my other breast. I can feel the sensations building up inside me, right in my core. I've never come just from having my breasts touched before, but I'm so close. He hums against my wet, over stimulated flesh and it is too much. I breathe out his name as the feelings surge through me, my body going rigid before I collapse back onto the bed.

I'm still riding the wave, but Edward doesn't give me time to come down fully. I feel his mouth leave my breast before returning to my body. He is there, between my legs sucking on my clitoris and I'm building again. This time I can feel myself climbing higher and higher. He still has one hand reaching up playing with my nipple whilst his mouth, his lips, his tongue are creating the most wonderful friction. He sucks on my clit, drawing it into his warm, moist mouth and then runs his tongue along me before plunging it into my entrance. Once again, I reach a new peak and the sensations erupt.

This time his name roars from my throat, as I have the most intense orgasm of my entire life. The pulses seem to surge through my whole body in waves, from the bottom of my feet right up to the top of my skull. Wave after wave passes through me, as I garble incoherently about it all being too much. But he doesn't let up. As I'm still soaring high, he plunges two fingers into me, moving his mouth back up to lick and suck my nub, and I feel like I'm never going to come down from this high, he's never going to let me go. I'm going to die in one big screaming multiple orgasm. One of my hands grips the hair at the back of his head and I know it must hurt him, I'm holding on so tight. The other is above my head gripping the pillow like my life depends on it.

Eventually, my body seems to reach its limit and I start to feel the shudders die away and a relaxation to take hold. As he feels my shudders slowly diminish, Edward backs off in his ministrations gradually allowing me to come back down to earth, guiding me in, before he finally gives me one gently kiss to my pubic bone, removes his fingers and comes to lie next to me.

I can hardly move. I feel like every bone has been removed from my body. I look across at him with hooded eyes. "That was intense," he says, smiling at me, "I take it that was good?"

As if he has to ask! But I'm not up for speaking yet, so I just give him one slow nod. He gently strokes my hair away from my face and just lies there as we both stare deep into each other's eyes.

After a couple moments, I'm able to put a coherent sentence together. "Thank you, that was amazing. I've never… I mean it's never… Well.. umm…. Thanks." Well maybe not so coherent after all.

"You don't have to thank me, Beautiful. You have the most amazing, responsive body. It was a wonder to see you come undone like that. When you called out my name, and then… Well, I've never made a woman come like that before. It seemed to go on and on, and you looked to amazing, so beautiful, and I did that." He says with a proud smirk.

"You certainly did, and you can do it again any time you like."

"Now?" He has his boyish smirk back and his eyes twinkle at me playfully.

"Perhaps you should give me a moment, I don't think my body is up for more just yet. I feel like jelly."

He laughs and pulls me into his chest. "Sleep then my Beautiful," he soothes, and I do.

I'm not sure how long I sleep, but I wake to the feel of promising kisses on my neck, a fondling hand on my breast, and, if I'm not mistaken, a very large erection poking me in the back. It would seem my Cocktail Man is awake and feeling horny.

I turn in his arms and plant my lips to his. The kiss is full of passion and promise, it would appear I've woken up feeling horny too. As we kiss, Edward rolls onto his back pulling me with him. "I want you in charge, beautiful. Show me what you want."

As I climb on top, I think about the few moments I remember from the previous time we came together like this. The look on his face as he reached his climax was exquisite and I want to be responsible for putting that look on his face again.

I run my hands down his body and lean forward to plant kisses along his jaw, feeling the tickle of his stubble against my lips. I remember feeling that roughness between my thighs earlier and I can't help moving my hips against him as my body seeks friction again. We're both still naked and he lets out a moan that makes my core clench as I rub up against his prominent erection. I have not taken much of an opportunity to view his penis and I want to see it now, in all its glory. I start to kiss down his chest, sucking on his nipples as I go. I scoot down his body, till I'm lower, over his thighs. Then I sit up, so I can get a good look at him.

He lies in front of me, breathing heavily, his hands resting on my thighs. My hungry eyes roam down his chest and stomach, until I reach my prize. His erection stands tall and proud. It looks above average in length and girth, but not painfully so, and I know it's going to fill me. As I watch, a little bit of pre-cum seeps out of the glistening end. I feel an overwhelming need to touch it, to taste it, to make it mine.

I curl my hand around the base of his shaft and delicately stroke up his length and back a couple times, tentatively, barely touching him. He lets out a gasp, as I reach the tip, applying a little more pressure as I take the pre-cum and start to spread it down his length. "That is torture, Beautiful. You are such a tease."

I look up at his face. His eyes are closed, his head is thrown back and his mouth is slightly open. I smile, relishing the effect I'm having on him. I tease him one more time with a slightly firmer stroke, listening to his breath catch as I sweep across the tip with my thumb before returning to the base. Then I can't hold off any longer. I lower my head and my tongue gently licks away the pre-cum that is still seeping from his tip. He groans andbefore he can absorb the feeling, I take him in my mouth fully, sliding down his length as far as I can go. His moan increased in volume and I feel his hands tighten on my thighs.

"Beautiful, that is the most amazing feeling in the world and I'd love to get back to this later. Right now I want, no I need, to feel myself moving inside you. Please tell me you want that too."

I reluctantly draw away from his erection, giving it one last suck and a swirl of my tongue over the tip. I want him inside me too and to hear him say those words with such passion and desire, leaves no doubt in my mind. I reach for the box of condoms that are still sat on his night stand, and as he watches with heavy, lust filled eyes, I roll one down his length.

As I scoot back up his body he slips his hand between my legs. His middle finger circles my already pulsing clit making me gasp, before pushing back between my lips. "God, Beautiful, you're so wet, so ready." He murmurs.

I feel ready. I want this so much. Our eyes are locked, as he continues to stroke me. I reach down and take his cock in my hand. I line it up with my entrance and I slowly lower myself down onto him. The feeling as he fills me is beyond description. I take it slow, stretching out the blissful, sweet agony of him entering me. The look on his face when I've finally fully taken him in me is the one I remember from the night before, as he looked down on me, as we came together as one. It's a look that makes my muscles clench around him. As I do, his mouth opens and he almost roar, "Oh, fuck, Bella, Beautiful, you feel so good." Then he sits up to meet me with a searing kiss, before falling back down flat on the bed again. As he reaches the bed, I place my hands on his chest and start to move. Every feeling that courses through my body as I rise and lower over his shaft is reflected in his face. I start out slow, torturing us both, drawing out the pleasure, but before long I can't hold back any longer and my movements become faster, more frantic, as we both race each other towards oblivion.

Our eyes don't leave each other's, but our hands roam freely. I feel him on my thighs, my hips, my breasts, up my neck and into my hair. As his hands wrap around my waist, I lean back slightly and he tightens his grip to help support me. The new angle brings about new sensations and it all becomes too much. I throw back my head and roar his name to the celling, as I lose control of my body. The orgasm is strong and powerful, I feel spasms after spasm rock through me. He must feel it too, as he calls my name and I feel him shake and spasm within me, as he too reaches that blissful place where nothing exists but the feelings.

I'm still reveling in the sensations that have torn through my body as he sits up to join me. He wraps his arms around me, holding me close to him and his lips find mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him close. This is a moment I want to savor, to remember.

When we finally untangle ourselves from each other, we pull apart and he gives me a wide grin, full of happiness. I grin back, feeling the same joy.

The rest of the day follows in a blur of tangled bodies, interspersed with food and sleep. Every time I wake up I'm cocooned in Edward's arms. At one point we take a shower, which leads to me giving Edward that promised blow job as water cascaded down around us. I take as much of him as I can, using my hand to caress all I can't swallow. I cup his sack, squeezing, as I feel his climax approach and the act pushed him over the edge. As I feel his balls tighten, he gives me a brief warning before exploding down my throat. I take all he gives me, before kissing him reverently on the tip and standing back up. We finish the shower with him washing me tenderly.

We only leave the sanctuary of the bedroom to use the bathroom, shower, or get food. We talk, but it is all trivial, inconsequential. Neither of us wanting to face the big questions. We giggle, we laugh, we share jokes, but there is a slight taint of melancholy to even these moments. Every action is full of meaning, as if we both want to imprint the day into our memories to remember when we're apart.

As day turns to night, we put off sleep as long as we can. We talk and just hold each other, knowing it will be out last night together. Eventually I can no longer keep my eyes open. My last memory of that blissful day is Edward stroking my hair as he kisses the top of my head.

It was a day I didn't want to end, but if life has taught me anything, you have to make the most of the good times because they always come to an end and our end was tomorrow.

* * *

A/N: So what did you think? Will she miss him when she goes home? Will she regret it all? Some Angst and drama to come, but I promise a HEA in the end.


	14. Chapter 14 - Fond Farewells

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

 **Sorry it is a little late today, RL got in the way. But I've finally found some time to sit down and post. See you at the bottom.**

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Chapter 14 – Fond Farewells

I lie in his arms, my head on his chest, listening to his soft gentle breathing. It is nearly morning. Sunday morning. The day I am going to have to leave Edward.

I think back over the last day and night, the memories bring back a smile. It had certainly been a day of passion. Looking back, I am glad we allowed ourselves to have that day. It may mean I miss him more, but at least I'll have those memories; even if I don't have the man. Just as I have my memories of Jake, even though he is no longer with me. I would no more give up my years with Jake, even knowing the heart break of losing him, then I would my day with Edward, knowing that it also must end.

Memories are what we made, and Edward even tried to recreate my memories of the previous evening. It was late afternoon, when we could no longer ignore our belly rumbles, we left the bedroom to get takeout pizza. Edward had pulled me onto his lap to eat and it was the best meal ever. I snuggled into his naked chest, running my hands through his chest hair. He nibbled on my neck, just below my ear whilst his hand ran up and down my naked thigh. Even before I'd finished the first slice, I was claiming I was full so I could drag him back upstairs.

"So you really don't remember much about last night at all?" He asked, looking a little hurt.

"I really want to remember. You only have yourself to blame. It was your idea to have shots. I do have the odd flash back now and then. Perhaps you just need to refresh my memory some more, it might all come flooding back then." I was still trying to get his sorry ass back into the bedroom for a repeat performance.

But he didn't need any more hints. "It sounds like my Beautiful wants to get her hands on my body again. Well that is a wish I can certainly fulfill. Come." He lifted me from his lap and took my hand.

As I made a move towards the stairs, he pushed me towards the front door, kissing me passionately as we went.

"If I'm going to refresh your memories from last night, we're going to have to start here," he said against my lips, as he pressed me hard up against the closed door.

"Umm, you were wearing that damn sexy bodice last night, but my t-shirt looks just as good on you." As he talked, he ran his hand up my thigh. Then he lifted my left leg up and hooked it around his hip. His hand continued its journey up my leg until it rested on my ass, which he gave a gently squeeze. His other hand was slowly raising my shirt as he traced patterns on my hip and on up over my waist, higher and higher, sending shivers up my body. Then it was on my breast. I'd not bothered to put on a bra when we'd left the bedroom and the feel of his rough hands directly on my delicate skin sent me wild. My nipples felt as hard as bullets and seemed to get impossibly harder as he gently tweaked them between his fingertips. The sensation of his hands on my skin was almost overwhelming, but I wanted more.

"What did we do next, CM? Show me." I asked.

"Next we went upstairs, but I can't wait for that. I need you now, Beautiful." He reached into the pocket of the sweat pants he was wearing and pulled out a condom. Before I was able to ask any questions, he pulled away from me and dropped his pants. I looked him up and down, taking in his completely naked form. It was a view to be savored.

"Your turn, Beautiful," he said stepping in close. He grabbed the hem of my shirt and it was over my head and thrown behind him before I could blink. All that remained of our clothing was my underwear, and they didn't last long. The sight of him kneeling down as he slid them over my legs before leaning forward to kiss and suck on me briefly, took me to the edge. I was more than ready for him when he rose, slipped on the condom and then slipped into me.

This was not the slow gently love making I'd experienced in the morning. This was fast and hard. I loved it. My legs were wrapped around him, as he supported me against the door and each thrust of his hips seemed to fill me more. As he drove into me, he whispered words of possession into my ear. Our chests were slick with sweat where we met and the friction of his movement against my already tender breasts helped to fan the flames burning deep within me. My fingers dug into his shoulder as I started to lose control. His mouth captured mine, our tongues meeting, fighting for dominance. He pulled back briefly, looking me in the eye, showing me his lust and desire, desire that was no doubt mirrored in my face.

"Fuck, Bella, I can't get enough of you," he said as his thrusts became more erratic, faster. Then his lips were on my neck, behind my ear as he kissed and sucked on that spot that seemed connected to my core. His left hand came round to play with my breast, putting me right on the edge. "Come for me, Beautiful, I want to hear you scream," he growled in my ear before kissing down to my shoulder, and it was all I needed to send me over the edge. I roared his name as my fingers pulled on his hair and I felt his teeth on my shoulder, marking me as he too followed in the wake of my climax. I felt him thrust into me with one last deep stroke whilst my walls pulsed around him and then we were sinking to the floor, still joined, in a heap of sweaty limbs and pulsating body parts.

…..

As I lie in bed on Sunday morning, remembering the feelings of the previous afternoon, I can't help but touch my breast, feeling my hard nipple. I remember the way he ran his hand down my body as if he couldn't get enough, as we lay on the floor in his entrance hall. It took us a long time to move, but eventually we reluctantly rose from the uncomfortable floor to return to the soft inviting bed.

I yawn and stretch, pushing my body back into his, enjoying the feel of him against me still.

"If you keep doing that, Beautiful, I'm going to have to make love to you again, because the feel of you is driving me wild."

I giggle as I realize he's awake.

"Go ahead then, CM, but you better be quick, I've got packing to do and a plane to catch."

"You're not allowed to even think about leaving me until I've made you mine again," and with that he flips me round and our mouths connect in a passionate kiss.

There is a desperation to our touches this morning. Our hands are everywhere, as if they want to set to memory every feel before it's too late. I feel him hard between my legs and my body is calling out to him. I reach to the night stand to grab a condom. "I need you CM. I need you now, so much."

All I want to do is to feel him in me. There is no time to wait. He pulls back and I roll the condom onto his engorged penis. "Are you ready for me, beautiful?" His breath is heavy with want and need.

"More than ready, I can't wait. Please." I'm almost begging him, my desire is so great.

And then he's in me. There is no messing around. His movements are long and hard, as he sets up a desperate punishing rhythm.

"Fuck, Beautiful. You feel so good."

Each thrust takes him so deep, but I want more. "Harder, please, I need you so much," I plead.

He leans back and swings one of my legs up to his shoulder. The change of angle means he is going deeper and he is able to thrust even harder. It feels so good and I know it's not going to be long, as I feel the familiar build up between my legs.

He looks down, watching himself slide in and out of me.

"Shit, that is the most exquisite thing I've ever seen. Look Beautiful, see me move inside you. Feel me, watch me." I glance down and he's right, it is magnificent, but I want to see his eyes.

"Look at me." My words are no more than a mumble, but he hears me. He stares deep into my eyes and I see passion, lust, desire, but also more. Emotions I'm scared to name, emotions I'm sure are mirrored my eyes.

"I'm not going to last long, Beautiful, please come for me."

His thrusts speed up slightly and it's all the push I need. A deep moan escapes from my throat, as I feel my walls tighten around him. I feel like I'm on fire and there is no putting out the flames. Then he drives into me erratically a couple more times, before joining me in finding his release. He collapses down onto me, exhausted from our love making.

We both lie there for a few minute unable to move, before he's able to roll off me. "Sorry Beautiful, I didn't mean to crush you," he says.

"You didn't," I reply, "I was enjoying the feel of you, I'm going to miss it."

And we're back to the reality that I'm going to be leaving in a little under an hour.

"I'm going to miss _you_." His voice is full of sadness and regret. "Can't you swap to a later flight? Of better yet stay another day?"

"You know I can't do that, CM. My kids are waiting. They need me." My voice is full of regret and I hope he knows if I could, I would stay forever.

" _I_ need you." He pouts at me, sticking his lower lip out like a spoilt child.

"You'll be fine," I say with a light hearted tone I'm really not feeling. I'm desperate to avoid things getting too heavy. I know I'm going to miss him, but this can't be. "You'll have forgotten me in a few weeks once some starlet catches your eye." I try to keep my tone teasing, but I think he detects the bitter edge.

"Never, Beautiful. I'll never forget you. But I understand why you have to leave. Just know if I could change the way things are, I would. If I could eliminate all your concerns, I would do it in a heartbeat. Never doubt that."

I nod, knowing if I try to speak I will end up crying. Why couldn't our circumstance be different? But then you can't live your life by if, buts and maybes. Reality must be faced.

I busy myself for the next thirty minutes, packing and double checking I have everything, knowing I'm using avoidance techniques to stop myself facing my emotions. Eventually; however, I run out of things to do. Edward has gone down to the kitchen to put together a quick breakfast and I know it's time for goodbyes.

I walk in as he's putting a plate of bagels with cream cheese and bacon on the table. It looks delicious, but I don't think I can eat a bite. My stomach is in knots and I'm dreading leaving. We only have about ten minutes until Demetri is due to turn up, to drive me to the airport. Ten minutes till I leave this man forever, taking with me some of the sweetest memories I've ever made.

I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him, my head resting under his chin, against his chest. His arms pull me in close and we just hold each other. There is no need for words. We know this is the end. My eyes are closed and I can smell his scent, filling it away in my memory to draw on later. As I stand there in his arms, tears start to fall down my cheeks, wetting the front of his shirt, but I can't stop them.

I feel his lips kissing the top of my head. "Please don't cry, Beautiful. I couldn't stand it if my last memory is of you in tears."

I pull away, wiping my eyes. Looking up his eyes too look misty and I realize he is also on the verge of losing it. I have to pull it together. I'm a master at this. I've been hiding my tears and my anguish for weeks. I can push back my emotions here too.

I look at his food and absentmindedly finger a bagel. "I'm sorry CM, I don't have much of an appetite this morning. I don't think I could eat a thing."

"That's okay, Beautiful, I'm not too hungry either, I only made them really to keep me busy."

I smile up at him and he smiles back.

"Here, let me give you my email address and my phone number, in case you need to contact me for anything," he says, pulling away.

I pull him back shaking my head. "No, CM. I think we need a clean break. This is going to be hard enough without having the temptation of being able to talk to you, to hear your voice, get your news, when I know it can't go anywhere, when I can't have you. It will only hurt more, for both of us. I need to let you go, so you can get on with your life. We can't be hanging on 'what if's'. We both need to move forward."

"You're probably right. I'd just be giving myself false hope." His words are so full or sadness and it breaks my heart. I know we're doing the right thing. We don't have a future and we can't kid ourselves that we do, but it hurts.

"Promise you won't give up on love, CM. I know there is the perfect girl out there somewhere for you. Someone who can give you marriage and kids, a beautiful future. The future you dream of. Someone who will accompany you down the red carpet and through life's adventures, who would never look at another man, because she realizes she has the perfect one already. Someone who will be your rock and your inspiration all rolled into one."

"Don't worry beautiful, I know that girl exists," he says, as he pulls me in close and kisses the top of my head. I feel him sigh, but our time is up. The front door bell chimes, indicating Demetri's arrival. I pull away from him and go to retrieve my bag. He follows me out to the hall and takes the bag from me before carrying it silently to the door, where Demetri is waiting with the car.

Edward helps Demetri load my stuff into the trunk and then he turns to me.

"So this is goodbye then." I nod and wonder what the correct protocol is for saying goodbye to someone in these circumstances. Before I can ponder it further, he has me once again is a bone crushing embrace and I hug him back just a fiercely.

We must stand there like that for a full five minutes, before we hear Demetri clearing his throat discretely.

"I'm…" Edward starts, but I interrupt.

"Please, don't say anything. It will only make it harder. Please just let me go."

I feel him nod his head before kissing my hair. His arms slacken and I risk a brief look at his grief filled face, before I slip out of his arms and into the waiting car. Demetri shuts and door behind me and I see him pat Edward in an almost fatherly manner on the shoulder, before heading to the driver's seat.

I look down at my hands clutching tightly to my handbag, not able to look at his face as I know it will break my heart. As Demetri pulls away, I feel the tears start to fall. I desperately want to look back at him. To get one last look, but I know it will be my undoing. I need to get away and not to look back. I need to move on with my life. This is what this vacation was about. Getting me to a point where I can move forward with my life back in Forks. At this moment, I'm not sure if I'm in a better or worse position to do that then I was ten days ago.

….

I wait in line at the airport to check my bags. I cried most of the way here, but since arriving I seem to have run out of tears and I'm now just feeling numb. I keep reminding myself that this is for the best, but it's still hard and I have to fight myself not to run outside and jump straight into a taxi back to him. I pull out my phone and open some picture of my kids to remind me what this is all about. They are, and will always be, my first priority. I need to always do what is best for them.

"How many bags are you checking today?" The attendant is over chipper.

"Just the one." I lift it onto the weigh machine and hand over my e-ticket.

"Thank you Mrs. Black. Oh, it looks like this ticket has been upgraded to first class, you could have gone through the priority channel," she exclaims.

"Pardon, you've upgraded me to first class?" I reply.

"Sorry?" She looks momentarily confused, "No you miss understand, _we've_ not upgraded you. You, or someone you know must have paid for the upgrade." I must now look confused.

"You didn't know about this?" I shake my head. "Well, it's true so I suggest you enjoy this little gift, Mrs. Black. You are obviously welcome to make use of our first class lounge as you wait for your flight. You'll find we have a range of complimentary food and beverages on offer there, as well the use of the first class spa."

"CM." I murmur under my breath. He's the only one I know with the means to do this for me. I now wish I had the means to contact him to say thank you. But we're making a clean break, at my insistence, so contact is impossible.

"I hope you have a good flight," says the cheerful check in clerk as she hands me back my upgraded ticket.

"Thank you," I mumble before progressing through to security and into the first class lounge.

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A/N: So he's given her a final gift. I know some of you will be unhappy with her for leaving, but please bear with me, things will work out. I promise. Love will find a way. Next week we meet her family and friends. I hope you will like them.

Do you think she'll regret leaving him? Has her time with him helped her? or will she now be worse off then before? What do you think. Let me know. How do you think they'll get back together? What will be that catalyst? Some drama to come, I hope you enjoy it.

Reviews are love, and I love to receive them.


	15. Chapter 15 - Missing You

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

 **A/N: Sorry I'm a little late posting today. The kids have a day off school as it's the UAE National day so we've been out all day having fun. We're celebrating 44 years since this country came into existence. I suppose it's a little like the 4th of July in the states, with a lot of flags, fireworks and patriotism (even for those of us who are ex-pats out here).**

 **This chapter doesn't progress the plot much, but it introduces us to some of the Forks characters and gives us an insight into how much Edward has helped Bella and her current state of mind. I hope you enjoy it. More plot next week.**

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Chapter 15 – Missing You

I touchdown late in Seattle. The plane had been delayed landing at LA from its previous destination, so we were obviously late taking off. This gave me a little more time in the first class lounge. I decided to make the most of the facilities instead of mopping around feeling sorry for myself. I had a couple drinks, ignoring the early hour and some strange looks from fellow travelers. If I want to drink complimentary champagne at nine in the morning then I will. I also got a lovely massage from a very talkative Filipino lady called Jill who told me wonderful stories about her home country filling me with desire to visit there at some point. Jacob and I had loved to travel and it was something I wanted to continue. I wanted to show my kids the world.

I tried to push all thoughts of Edward to the back of my mind. But there seemed to be reminders of him everywhere. As I trawled through the magazine rack to find something to read I saw his face smiling back at me from the front cover of GQ magazine. He looked so handsome and I found myself just staring at it for a full five minutes before forcing myself to put it back down and grabbing a copy of Cosmo instead. I was about half way through, though, when I was confronted by his face again. This time it was it was a full page spread of the advert he did for the male cologne he endorsed. I snapped the magazine shut quickly and threw it to one side on the chair next to mine. So, magazines are out.

I tried to keep myself busy on the flight also. I watched a couple films, obviously avoiding the drama they're showing that stars him as an impoverished artist trying to negotiate fame whilst battling with a jealous rival. I even managed to get a couple hours sleep, helped I'm sure by the glass of wine I consumed. I restrict myself to one glass at the start of the flight. I have to drive from Seattle back to Forks once I land and I don't want to be driving under the influence.

As the plane lands I take a deep breath. So, my single life starts now. I'm a confident thirty-eight year old woman who is strong and independent. I have three beautiful kids and a world of opportunities at my feet. I just need to open myself up to them. I can do this.

As I wait at baggage reclaim I turn my phone back on. Looking down I notice I have two missed calls and a text message, all from my good friend Angela. There were not many friends I kept in contact with from Forks when I moved away, but Angela and I always made an effort to keep in touch. Not only is she one of my oldest friends. She's one of those friends that you don't need to see for twelve months, but then when you get together it's as if you were never apart. We'd had opportunity over the years to test this theory many times, both when we were children and I found myself being passed between Renee and Charlie, and also in recent years when we lived on other sides of the country.

She and her boyfriend, Ben, had gone to college on the East coast, just like me. However, when they both graduated they moved back to Washington. They now live in Port Angeles with their two boys. Danny is about a year younger than Embry and Josh is the same age as Jared. Since leaving college we have met up about once a year, either when I came to visit Charlie, or they would make the occasional trip down to us, combining it with a family vacation. Jake and I got on really well with her and Ben, and whenever we got together it was as if we'd never been apart. Being closer to Ang is one thing that has helped to make the whole experience of moving back to Forks bearable.

It was actually Angela's suggestion, after Jake's death, that I should move back to the Forks area. I think she wanted me to be close, where she could keep an eye on me. She put up some good arguments though. So good in fact I ended up going back on the pledge I made at eighteen to never live in that god forsaken town again. I'm still not sure if I'm going to end up regretting it, but I have to admit it has been good to have Angela close by.

I look at her text and smile.

 _Where are you? You said you'd let me know as soon as you landed. Your flight was due in an hour ago and still no word. - Ang_

I'd made Ang agree to leave me alone whilst I was in LA, promising her I just needed time away from everything, but that I'd let her know as soon as I was back.

 _I've just landed, the plane was late. I should be back in Forks in a few hours. - Bella_

I didn't need to wait long for her reply.

 _How are you feeling? Did it help? Ben can sit with the kids tonight if you want me to come round for a catch up. I'm dying to know everything you did. - Ang_

Did I want to see Ang tonight? Did I want to spend the evening dissecting my time with Edward? I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my fling from her. She has a way of knowing when I'm hiding something, and besides it would be good to talk to someone. If CM has taught me anything it's that talking really does help. I need to get better at sharing my emotions and not bottling them up.

 _That would be great Ang. I've a lot to tell you. I could do with a friend. - Bella_

 _That's what I'm here for Babe. I'm glad you're finally ready to use my shoulder. - Ang_

 _Just remember to bring the hankies. - Bella_

 _I'm bringing more than hankies. I'm bringing wine. Can I sleep over? Your kids aren't back at school till Tuesday either are they? - Ang_

 _That's right. Of course you can stay, as long as Ben doesn't mind getting the boys up in the morning. - Bella_

 _He'll understand. Besties before boys remember. - Ang_

I laugh at Ang's text. She and Ben have a fantastic relationship and are always willing to support each other. I know I should have allowed them to help me more before now. It's ok to be independent, but that doesn't mean you can't ask for help when you need it. Look at me. I'm almost sounding like a grown up!

…

The drive back to Forks is uneventful. Just long and boring and I'm glad when I finally pull into Charlie's drive to pick up the kids. I'm hardly out the car before I see Jared and Kim come barreling out of the front door and then I have them in my arms and I know I'm home. I look over towards the house and spot Embry trying to look nonchalant. But I know he missed me. I hadn't realized, until this point, how much I'd missed them. They give the best hugs and I pull them close, smiling fondly at Embry, reacquainting myself with their smell and feel. The unconditional love they give is like a drug to me, and I need my fix so bad at the moment. This is why I make sacrifices, to keep my kids safe and happy. It's why I left Miami and all my friends there to bring them back to this small town and their family, despite vowing I'd never return. It is also why I've left a handsome, caring movie star who rocked my world in more ways than one.

"Come on squirts. Let's go get your stuff from Grandpa and then we can go home. Who wants ice-cream for tea?" I say.

This is met with a chorus of cheers. "Chocolate?" asks Jared.

"Vanilla?" asks Kim in unison.

"Both, with chocolate sauce and sprinkles," I yell, tickling them both.

They wiggle and escape from my arms before leading me back into my father's house to get their things. We pass Embry on the way. "Not too old for ice-cream?" I ask, drawing him in for his own hug.

He wiggles a little as I attempt to kiss him. "Mommmm," he complains, but his shy smile gives him away. He's not too old to need his mom's hugs.

"Admit it, you missed me," I tease as I pull him into Charlie's house.

…

"You look and sound well, Bella," observes Sue, "LA obviously agreed with you. Did it help?"

I think for a moment. Yes I'm missing CM, but I feel stronger and more able to cope with my life as a single mum. I still miss Jake, but my time with CM has helped me stop lingering on the negative. I find I can think about Jake without wanting to instantly burst into tears.

"Thanks Sue. Yes, it did actually, it helped a lot. Thank you so much for having these three for so long. I'm sure they had a wonderful time," I reply as I take a seat on the coach, the kids having gone upstairs to collect their stuff.

"Don't mention it. It's been great to spend the time with them. They're great kids. A real testament to you and Jake. You should be very proud."

I see her watching me, obviously expecting the usual reaction I have to someone mentioning Jake's name. But the flinch and avoidance don't come. I just smile. "I am Sue. They're my life and I'm ready to be all they need."

"Just remember you don't have to do it all alone. We're here if you need us," she asserts, squeezing my hand.

And she's right I am very lucky to have a family that would put themselves out for me. Despite my past issues with Charlie and his emotional avoidance, I am determined to build a firm strong relationship going forward. If I'm going to make Forks my home then I need to allow my family in. I know that not all the strain in my relationship with my father is down to him. I need to make the effort to make him feel wanted and needed. I need to meet him half way, starting now.

"Dad," I call out and he wanders in from the kitchen, "are you free tomorrow?"

"I should be, Bells, why?" he asks.

"Well you know the back door at my place keeps sticking and I've been meaning to fix it since I moved in, but I never seem to get around to it, what with the kids and all. Would you be able to take a look at it for me?"

"No problem, I'll bring my tools and pop by sometime in the morning." He looks pleased, if a little surprised.

"Thanks dad."

I look across as Sue, who has a huge grin on her face. "Thanks," she mouths to me. I guess she can see I'm trying to mend more than a door between me and my father and she approves.

….

I'm late getting the kids to bed that night. The bedtime stories seem to go on and on. They include a long run down of all the wonderful things they've done whilst I've been gone, even though they've already told me it all on skype. I don't mind one bit. I'm enjoying every moment I spend with them.

I eventually get them settled just as I hear a knock on the door. I hurry down to let Angela in. As I open the door she waves two bottles of wine at me.

"So, did you see the sights? Did you meet any people? Did you manage to sort out your head at all?" The questions come thick and fast as I lead her into the kitchen to get glasses.

I smile at her enthusiasm. Angela was never one to beat around the bush.

"I think I did Ang. Sort my head out a bit that it. Well kind of." I'm certainly in a better place regarding my grief over Jake, but my head is still all over the place when I think about a certain bronze haired, green eyed movie star.

"Kind of?" repeats Angela, "Well let me pour the drinks and then you can start at the beginning and tell me all about it."

Once we both have a wine in our hands we settle on the couch with some soft music playing in the background. Ang looks at me expectantly. She's not one to push and I know she'll let me open up and talk when I'm ready. I also know that I'll end up telling her everything about the vacation. I've struggled to talk to her about the loss of Jacob. She knew him well too, and she held my hand throughout our relationship. I know she also misses him terrible too.

"I'm not sure where to start Ang. It seems like a lifetime ago when I left," I tell her.

"The beginning is always a good place to start. I take it you found time to think, you didn't just keep yourself busy seeing the sights?"

"I hardly saw any of LA after the first day," I say with a smile.

"That smile says a lot. You met someone didn't you?" I look down as I feel my face start to flush. "Bella Swan, look at me." I glance up at her sheepishly. "You had sex," she practically screams at me, "holy cow girl, you've been bonking your brains out. Who was he? What was he like? Shit, you have to tell me all."

I never could hide anything from Ang. She could always read me like a book, but even this surprised me.

"Oh, Ang. He was wonderful. I met him my second night there and I spent the rest of the vacation at his house. He really helped me."

"So you spent your entire time away holed up and having sex with a stranger?" Her eyes are wide open and I think her eye brows may disappear into her hair line.

"Hell no, we didn't have sex till this weekend. Before that we just talked. He really helped me to sort through my thoughts and feelings around Jake. We talked about everything, Ang, and it felt good. He was such a good listener."

"I told you talking about it would help. You know you could have talked to me anytime, right? You didn't need to travel hundreds of miles and find a complete stranger to have someone to talk to." Angela looks a little hurt. Shit. I know she's my best friend. I don't want her to feel like I've shunned her.

"I know Ang, but everyone here, including you, was just too close to it all. I think the fact he didn't know Jake, hell he didn't know me, allowed me to open up more. I don't know why, but him not being involved, him being a stranger, made it easier. Does that make sense at all?"

"I think so Bella. Beside I know you've never been that great at talking about your feelings, you're more like Charlie then you'd care to admit in that regard, but please remember I'm here if you need me going forward, unless your new lover is going to be hanging around?" Her voice sounds almost hopeful.

"Thanks Ang, and I think I'm in a position to let you in now. And as for my holiday romance, that's all it is. We're not keeping in contact. We decided it would be best if we just had a clean break. It wasn't like it could go anywhere so there was not need to prolong the inevitable."

"But you miss him don't you?"

Damn her and her perceptive ways.

"Yeah, and I probably will for a while. But I'm strong. He helped me to see that. I'm doing what is right for me and my family; and for him. Life goes on and all that crap."

"Here, here," agrees Ang, lifting her glass to mine in a toast.

"Well, as it's been a while since Ben and I have had an opportunity for a week of wild sex and debauchery, I'm going to have to live vicariously through you. So spill girl. What was this mysterious stranger like? Please tell me he was hot and rocked your world. I need deets and I need them now." She wears a silly grin as she makes her demand.

"I told you we didn't get it on till this weekend so it was only really a day of any sort of sex, wild or otherwise," I say, looking down.

"Stop stalling and spill girl." She looks at me with false stern eyes and I crumble.

"Okay, Ang, I'll tell you all about him, but first you have to swear to me to keep everything I tell you between us."

"Don't tell me you're worried about the town folks and what they'll think of the merry widow having a fling?"

"Perhaps, a little. I mean, Jake's only been dead a few months. It's all a little soon don't you think?" I fidget with the hem of my shirt as I talk.

"Bella, no, don't you go laying a guilt trip on yourself over this. What ever happened in LA has obviously done you a world of good and anything that makes you smile like you did earlier cannot be a bad thing. Jake is dead, he's gone. I know that's harsh and it's not something I would have said to you two weeks ago, you weren't in a place to hear it, but now your back, you seem stronger, happier, ready to move on. If random sex with this man helped you with that then in my book that's not a bad thing. But as to your request, of course anything you say to me stays with me. Have I ever let you down?" She gives me her stern look as she talks.

"Of course not Ang. It's just some of this is a little sensitive so I needed to be sure you could be discrete, but I know that goes without saying." I look up at her and smile.

"You have me intrigued. What's the big secret? I'm assuming it's not just that you had sex?"

I take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for Angela's reaction.

"Okay, so the shocking thing isn't so much that I spent the week in a stranger's house revealing all my deepest darkest fears and insecurities. It's more who's house I spent the week in."

"Come on Bella, this is like pulling teeth, spill already."

"I spent the week with Edward Cullen." I say it like an alcoholic declaring their addiction at an AA meeting. Angela just stares at me. Her mouth opens a couple times as if she's searching for the right words, eventually she seems to find her voice.

" _The_ Edward Cullen? Edward Cullen the famous movie star? The Edward Cullen who played Gerard in Secret Passion? My absolute favorite movie ever? The Edward Cullen who has the body and hair I dream of waking up next to? You've slept with _that_ Edward Cullen?"

Okay, so it turns out Angela might be a bit of a fan girl for my man. No! Not my man. He's not my CM any more. We're moving on. It's for the best and I can't allow myself to think like that. It was just a fling. Besides he's probably forgotten me already.

"I didn't know you liked him so much." I say.

"What's not to like? He is sexy and cute, and those eyes." Ang looks all wistful as she continues, "Oh and the hair, don't get me started on the hair." She seems to get lost in her own thoughts so I cough to bring her back to the room.

"Ang, he's just a regular guy." As I say the words a part of me screams inside in denial of my claim. A part of me knows he is so much more than a regular guy. He is caring, understanding, passionate, oh and his body… I quickly shut down that part that wants to tell me how perfect and fantastic my CM is. I need to move on.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, he is far from being a regular." Ang shakes her head. "Now I really need to know all the details. Is his hair really as soft as it looks? Can he keep going all night just like I imagine? Is he well hung? I hope he's well hung."

My face flushes red again. "Ang, you know I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I will tell you that he has nothing to be ashamed of in the pants department and, yes, he is as sexy in the flesh as he is in his movies, but that is all you're getting."

Ang looks put out, but she knows somethings are not for sharing.

"Okay, I know some things are private, but you still haven't even told me about how you two met. How on earth did you end up staying at this house?"

I went on to fill Ang in on how Edward had sent me over a cocktail and then how we'd spent the rest of the evening talking before going back to his place. I told her how we talked for hours, how we went out with his friends and his sister, and I even told her about our first kiss in the bar and how magical it had felt. She came over all mushy at this point and started waxing lyrical about young love, and I think she may even have quoted Shakespeare at one point. I told her to shut up and not to be so stupid.

The wine flowed and the girly talk continued and it felt good. I'd not really done this with Angela since Jake had gone, not wanting to let my guard down in case I couldn't get it back up. But it was good to have my friend be her usual wacky self. It felt good to laugh and to joke and to just relax. The black cloud that had haunted my every waking, and most of my sleeping, hours seemed to have lifted, and there was one person I needed to thank for that. He would probably never know the full extent of the turnaround he'd made to my life but as Ang and I giggled away on the sofa I raised a silent toast to him in thanks. I'd never forget him.

* * *

 **A/N** Reviews are love and I would love to hear what you think of this tale so far. I know some of you won't like Bella and Edward being apart, but it's necessary and I promise it won't be long till we see him again.


	16. Chapter 16 - The Discovery

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **AN: Sorry, I'm posting later in the day than normal** **again. Today was the Christmas fayre at the nursery where I work so I had to stay on late for that. It was fun though and I'm now in the festive mood. I have another Christmas fayre at my kids school tomorrow, with my son singing and playing Christmas tunes on his recorder and my daughter giving a ballet performance. Wish them luck. Then the weekend starts. Hurrah.**

* * *

Chapter 16 – The discovery

I've been home for four weeks and things have settled into something of a routine. The mornings are busy with getting the kids up, fed and out to school. I then usually run some errands: shopping or some housework. Occasionally, I'll get together with some other moms for a coffee before we all disband to our various tasks.

The afternoons, are full of play dates and running the kids to and from various extra-curricular activities. I've signed them all up to continue their swimming lessons they started in Miami. Kim has opted to do ballet, despite being the least athletic and the most uncoordinated child I know. Perhaps it will do her some good and teach her some grace. Jared does karate and has signed up for little league baseball, as for Embry it's all about his music. He has found himself a really good piano teacher and is trying to convince some friends to start a band with him. He's mainly self-taught on the guitar, but has such a natural ability he doesn't need much instruction.

The weekends are a little more relaxed; spending time with friends or family. We often make the trip over to see Angela, Ben and their two boys in Port Angeles, or they visit us. The boys get on really well. Kim not so much, as the boys tend to not include her in their games. So she gets to hang out with Ang and I, make cakes or biscuits, or Ang will get out some craft or another for her to do. Kim is much more a girly girl then I ever was. She loves to play with dolls and to go shopping. Both things I have never enjoyed. But Angela loves it, having only boys herself. She enjoys indulging Kim.

All three kids have settled in really well to their new classes. My good friends, Mike and Jessica, have a son in the same class as Kim and the two of them often go on play dates. They recently divorced, although they still get on well. They share custody of Paul, alternating weeks. I bumped into Mike and Paul at the park soon after I moved back to Forks, before I went to LA, and by the time school started back Paul and Kim were best friends.

Mike, Jessica and I all went to school together, along with Angela and Ben. Back in school Jessica was the worst gossip and although we had friends in common, we never really hit it off. It probably wasn't helped by the fact she really fancied Mike, but he seemed more interested in me. In fact, Mike and I dated for a few months. Jess seems to have forgiven me for this now. I suppose getting the guy she always wanted helped, even if she ended up divorcing him.

My current friendship with Jess kicked off on the first day the kids were back at school, when she came to my rescue. The school playground can be a cruel place and not just for the kids, so I'd been keen to make a great first impression. That first day, I made sure I was wearing some of the designer clothes Alice had got for me. Dressed up in a pair of tight fitting blue jeans with a cream colored silk blouse over the top I felt ready to face whatever the other moms threw my way. I'd even put on a pair of heels, thinking the extra height would give me more confidence. I'd got up extra early to make sure I had time to do my hair and makeup and I felt and looked good.

Embry had insisted on finding his own way into his school and I allowed him his independence, dropping him at the door and watching him go in. I then drove round to the elementary school. After walking Jared to his class, I made my way back across the playground to find Kim's class. I knew she would be a little more shy and reluctant.

The playground was littered with the usual cliques. I noticed a group of very well put together younger moms eyeing me up and down and talking together in hushed voices. Most of them seemed to be dressed in leisure wear and I assumed they were off to the gym after drop off, but you could never be sure with _that_ kind of mom. They certainly had more makeup on then I'd wear to the gym. It was while I was distracted by the gossipy moms that Kim decided to get an attack of the nerves. She grabbed hold of the hem of my shirt with both hands and stopped walking. At the same moment I heard my name being called out and I twisted in the opposite direction to see who was trying to get my attention. As I turned suddenly, I felt my feet start to slide out from under me on the wet tarmac. I've never been the best in heels and I just had time to think what a big mistake they were as one leg shot out to my left and the other skidded forward, sending me over backwards onto my ass in a deep, dirty puddle, splashing dark mud up my back and down my legs. However, this was not my only problem. Kim's hold on my shirt had not lessened and as I twisted and fell her pull on it caused too much strain and the front flew open as the buttons came pinging off.

So there I was, sat in a muddy puddle, with my shirt hanging open, bra on display, in front of the power moms. Embarrassed does not cover it. I was mortified. I didn't know what to do first: cover my breasts, get out the cold puddle, or console a now crying Kim. Before I could get my brain in gear, I felt some one draping a coat over my shoulders, helping to preserve my modesty and a voice laced with mirth said, "Well, Bella Swan, you were always a little on the clumsy side but that takes the cake."

As she helped me to my feet, I recognized the mass of blond curls as belonging to Jess. Next to her, I spotted Paul. Jess bent down to console my still crying little girl, pulling Paul forward to help in the task. It wasn't long before she had the two of them skipping off to class together and me being led back to the car. We spent the rest of the morning, after I change into much more comfortable clothes, gossiping over coffee and muffins at my house. The rest, as they say, is history.

Since that day Jess, Ang and I have formed a tight bond. We have been out for a couple of outstanding girl's nights out in Port Angeles and we all seem to share a sense of humor.

Jess keeps trying to get me to date. She reckons she needs a wing man, or woman, when she's out on the pull, which is every other weekend when Paul is with Mike, but I've resisted so far. I'm not too sure why. I keep telling her, and myself, that it is just too soon, and I need to still be putting the kids first. But two piercing green eyes keep lingering in my mind when I think about moving on.

We're on a girl's nights out tonight. Jess has dragged Ang and me to a pub in Port Angeles. The kids are staying over at Charlie's, so I have a free night. Jess has been chatting up one of the bar tenders while Ang and I share our latest news. It's not long before Jess returns to the table brandishing a napkin with a phone number across it like a trophy.

"Jess, you are incorrigible," grins Ang. She acts like she disapproves of Jess's ways, but we both know Jess doesn't take things too far and would love to find someone else to settle down with. But, as she says, sometimes you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince.

"One of us has to have a little fun. He's a bit too young for me though, I don't know if I'll phone him."

The mention of age brings back thoughts of my younger man. Once again, I'm struck by the number of times things remind me of him. It can be something obvious, such as one of his commercials on the TV, or his face on the front of a magazine, but more often than not its little things that will trigger a memory, like a song of the radio we listened to together, or a smell that reminds me of his cologne.

"So how young is too young?" I ask, innocently.

"Well, I doubt he's out of his twenties. Far too young. He might be good for a bit of fun, but nothing more. I need a man to be a little more experienced, if you know what I mean. You don't want to ever fall into the mother figure role," she says with a small shiver.

I laugh, but my heart is not really in it and Ang notices. Being the fangirl she is, she knows the age of the last man I was with and he's certainly still in his twenties. She gives me a small smile and shrugs her shoulders.

"Age is only a number," she pipes up. "I know for one I don't feel a day over thirty, even though I know we will all be turning the big 4 O at our next birthdays."

"Don't remind me. I'm still in denial about that birthday," I reply, not needing the reminder that I was now thirty-nine.

"Don't be silly," answers Jess, "I've never seen you look so good. If you put yourself out there you'd have men falling over themselves for you. Starting with that ex-husband of mine. Don't think I've not noticed the way he checks out your ass."

"Don't be stupid Jess, Mike and I are just good friends. He's not interested in me that way. Besides, been there, done that, don't intend to go back," I say.

"I don't blame you girl. Besides you could get any man you wanted, no point in going for the physically retarded." With this she wiggles her little finger. I did mention earlier that Mike and Jess still get on didn't I? Well they do, as friends. But that doesn't stop her from telling us all his faults as a husband after a few drinks. The top of the list being their less than satisfying sex life. In some ways it's funny, in others it can make it hard to look him in the eye at the school gate the next day.

With that in mind, I go to change the subject. "So Jess, how's work?"

"So, so. If I could tell you some of the stories from the ladies I get in, it would make your toes curl. But obviously doctor, patient confidentiality and all. Talking of which, when are you going to pop in and get the once over from me, Bells? If I'm going to be setting you up with guys I need to ensure you are safe and healthy. I bet you're also due for a pap test."

Jess, as well as being a good friend, is also the Forks resident OB/GYN. That's right, a good friend of mine has the job of looking at my lady parts every now and then. And she wonders why I've been avoiding coming in.

"Probably," I concede. Jess is tenacious and I know there will no getting out of this.

"Well I need you in mid cycle, so let me know when you had your last period and I'll book you in for the right time slot when I get home," she says as if she's talking about getting a manicure, not an intimate examination.

I think back. I must be due soon, it's been a while since I last had my period, good that will put us off a couple of weeks. Now let me think, when did I last bleed?

I freeze, drink mid-way to my mouth.

"What's wrong Bells, you've gone as white as a ghost?" says Ang.

"Fuck." Is the only reply I can think to give. I look at the strong cocktail in my hand and slowly lower it onto the table. I notice my hand is shaking. Shit, I have to get a grip here. It may not be as bad as I think.

"Bells? Are you okay?" asks Jess. I look between my two good friends. Both are staring back at me with concerned expressions. "Talk to us, please. I'm getting worried."

"I don't think I've had a period since I got back from LA." The words are low, as if saying them quietly may mean they're not really out there, that it's not really true.

I watch Angela's eyes go wide. "Fuck, Bells. Are you pregnant?"

I shake my head, "I don't know, possibly. No, I can't be. We used protection."

"Wait, back up," Jess is still looking confused, "there is a possibility you could be pregnant? You had sex in LA? Why am I only just hearing about this? Sorry I take that back, we need to deal with this current situation and then you can fill me in on how we got here."

Jess has switched to Doctor mode.

My hands are still shaking and I instinctively reach for my drink before I realize what I'm doing.

"No more of that for you." Jess pushes my glass to the other side of the table. "Okay, girls, let's get this sorted. The first thing we need to do is see if you really are pregnant. There are many reasons you could be late, Bells. You've just moved house and been through a lot of very stressful situations. Any one of which could throw of your schedule, okay. So no panicking yet."

She starts to put her coat on and to pick up her bag.

I stare at her. "Where are we going?" To me my words sound hollow and empty. I feel like I'm outside looking in on this situation, as if it's happening to someone else.

"There's a twenty-four hour pharmacy just around the corner from here, we are going to go and buy a home pregnancy test kit and then go back to Angela's so you can take it. Come on." She nods her head towards the door to get us both moving.

I numbly get up, picking up my bag and coat, and follow Jess out the bar. I feel Ang wrap her hand around mine and give it a squeeze.

"It's going to be okay, Bells. Whatever the test says, Jess and I are here for you." I'm so grateful for her support. My legs feel like jelly and I draw strength from my best friend. So many thoughts are running through my head. I try to analyze my emotions, but find I'm just numb. I'm sure they will hit me soon though and I need my friends around when they do.

It doesn't take us long to reach the pharmacy and Jess starts pulling several different tests from the shelves.

"Why do we need so many? I thought they were accurate." I ask.

"They are," says Jess, "and I'd believe just one, but I know you Bells, you're going to be in denial, so you're going to want confirmation, however five maybe overkill, let's settle on three. Will you trust three?"

I nod. I can't deny the evidence of three tests.

"Besides this one tells you how far along you are, so you can be sure it's LA boy's." She grins at me.

"LA boy? And who else's could it be?" I ask.

"Well, it would appear you've been having sex without telling me, so how do I know there aren't more Bella conquests out there." She's smiling, but I can see she is a little hurt that she knew nothing about this.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Jess, but we weren't hanging out like we are now when I came back from LA, and besides is was old news, over, or at least I thought it was."

"You're right, Bella, it was before we were close. You know I'm here for you now though, don't you? I don't have that many close female friends and I view you as one of my best. Let me be there for you, please."

I pull her into a hug, dragging Ang in with me.

"Of course, Jess. If this is positive, you are going to have to hold my hand the whole way, you know? I'm going to need my two besties by my side."

"Does this mean I get to be your doctor?" she asks excitedly.

"Don't let's get ahead of ourselves. These could still come back negative." I reply.

"Well, there's only one way to find out for certain." She grabs the tests and goes up to pay at the register.

We leave the pharmacy and walk back to Angela's with one friend on either side of me, their arms through mine, giving me support.

…

"Hi sweetheart," Ang calls out to Ben, as we enter the house.

"You're back early? I wasn't expecting you all." Ben looks a little worried about our early return.

"We just have some girly things we need to discuss upstairs. Don't worry hubby, things are fine." Angela gives him a reassuring smile and a small peck on the cheek, before leading us up to her master bedroom and shutting the door after us.

Jess throws herself onto the bed and tips out the bag in front of her.

"So, all you need to do is to piss on the end of each of these. Go. Bring them back to us when you're done."

As she talks she rips open the boxes, with Angela's help, and I'm now left holding three plastic tubes.

"The bathroom's in there." Angela indicates a door behind me and I go in without saying a word. Once inside I shut the door and lean against it. I stare blindly at the test sticks in my hand. Things seem to be moving fast and already seem to be out of my control. I take a few moments to consider the implications of the results I'm going to get. If I'm pregnant, what does that mean? What do I do with that news? How do I react? Should I be happy? Sad? Angry? Do I really want to get this answer? Perhaps I'm just late. As Jess said lots of things can throw off your schedule. I briefly contemplate not taking the tests. If I don't know, then I can live in denial. Once I do the tests it's real. But I know I can't live with not knowing. It will be all I'll be able to think about. I need to know one way or the other. I move towards the toilet just as I hear a knock on the door.

"I don't hear the sound of peeing Bella. Stop procrastinating and get on with it. Not knowing won't make it go away." Fuck, Angela knows me too well.

…..

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck"

The three of us are sat on the bed, all of us staring at the three tests in front of us waiting for the results to come up.

Angela reaches out and squeezes my hand, halting my terrified rant.

"This one's starting to show." Jess picks up the offending article. "That looks like a positive. Bells, congratulations, you're pregnant."

"Wait, we need confirmation." I pick up the other two sticks and stare hard at them, willing a negative result. The one in my left hand is the first to give me the news. A smiling face appears in the window. "Stop smiling." I grumble at it. "What's there to smile about?"

"Two out of three," pipes up Jess and I have an urge to hit her.

"Shut up, there's still one more." I close my eyes and hand the final test to Ang. "I can't look, you tell me."

"Well it says positive, and you are four weeks since conception."

I give a big sigh and try to work through my emotions. This wasn't planned. I'm having a baby by a guy I only knew for a week. A guy who I have no contact with and no way of contacting. And to top that off he's a famous movie star. I fall backwards onto the bed, clenching my eyes shut tighter.

"Fuck. This was not supposed to happen. I'm too old to have another child. It's hard enough being a single mom to the three I have without adding a baby to the mix. I can't do this. I can't have another baby. I certainly can't have his baby. What's he going to say? I don't even know if I can tell him. I'm going to be all on my own. Fuck. What am I going to do?" I know I'm ranting, but I've just had a big shock.

"Well…," says Jess, tentatively, "You do have options. If you really don't think you can handle this, there's a clinic here in Port Angeles I can refer you to. You are early and it will be painless, but you need to be sure."

I open my eyes and look at her incredulously, my hand instinctively moving across my belly, as if to protect what is within. "You think I should get rid of it?"

"That's not what I said. I'm just letting you know you have options. If _you_ really think that's for the best then I will support your choice. If, however, you choose to have this baby, know that you have two great friends here who will help and support you. You also have your family. You won't be doing this alone."

I look at her, then at Ang and all I see is love and support. These two girls, in the few short weeks I've been back in Forks, have become so important to me. I've never had friends like them. Mainly because I've opened up to them and let them in, and Edward taught me that. I have so much to thank him for, and now he has given me another gift.

My tears start to fall and I sit up and pull my girls in for a much needed embrace.

"I can't get rid of it," I murmur to them. "I can't kill it. It's a part of me." Then it hits me. It's a part of him.

"Good," says Angela.

"I had to say it, please forgive me." I feel Jess also crying. "I needed you to know you had options and also to face up to wanting this child. Now you have, you can move forward more positively. Please tell me you understand why I had to say those things."

"I do, Jess. They needed saying. I needed to consider my options, and realize that isn't one."

I pull away and wipe at my eyes. My girls are crying too. I grip their hands, both to give me support and to offer them mine. As Jess said, we're in this together.

…

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AN: I know you're probably desperate for Edward and Bella not to be apart for too long, and I promise he will be back in the picture soon.

So that twist has removed some of her reservations about Edward and her having a relationship. A double hitter next week again so I'll be posting on Monday and Thursday probably.


	17. Chapter 17 - The Visit

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

Chapter 17 – The Visit

"Where's your truck, Bella? I didn't see it in the car park," Mike asks, smiling at me affectionately.

Oh yeah, that's right. I need to sort out that pile of junk.

"It broke down and refused to go any further when I stopped for coffee. The kids and I had to walk into school from there."

As I talk, Mike puts his arm protectively around my shoulder and leads me towards his car. We regularly meet up after dropping off the kids and today he was waiting for me outside Kim and Paul's classroom. It's the last day of term before the Christmas break and we're both wrapped up warm to protect us from the cold.

"You're joking? Do you need a lift back?" He sounds concerned, "I could take you back to yours and we could call Sam from there to come and pick it up. I'll even make sure he gives you good rates."

Mike's brother, Sam, owns and manages the only garage in town and, to be honest, without his help my truck would be in an even worse state.

Mike helps me into his car with a quick wink and a peck on the cheek, before climbing in himself and starting the engine. His gestures are starting to get a little too familiar and I think to myself I'm going to have to rein him back again. Mike is a great friend, but I have no desire to take things further with him.

"Thanks, Mike. You're a real friend. But before Sam starts to work on it, could you get him to give me an estimate for the cost as I'm thinking of calling it a day on the old thing."

"But you love that truck, Bella? I remember when you picked it out. I warned you it was old and would need a lot of work, but you insisted you loved it at first sight and, I quote, 'Old things should not be written off that easily'."

"I know, I know. I do still love it, but I think I need to be practical. Especially with the baby on the way. I need something more reliable. I also need something I can fit four children in, including a baby seat. I think it's time to upgrade."

"Well if you find anything you like I'm sure Sam would be happy to check it over for you. Check it's got a sound engine."

"As I said Mike, you're a good friend." I give him a warm smile as we pull up outside my house.

"Well here we are, Bells, home sweet home," he says.

"You're coming in for a coffee while I phone Sam?" I ask.

"Sure. What's the point of being the boss if you can't be late into work every now and then?" Mike manages the sporting goods store that his parents used to own and I used to work in during my last year of high school. They are still shareholders in the business, but are fully retired.

We enter the house and I get the coffee going, digging out some of the cookies Kim and I made last night. I know they are Mike's favorites.

"Take some of these in to work with you and make sure you drop some into the garage, for Sam and the boys as a way to say thanks." Sam's garage is attached to the store and the two of them share an office, connecting the two businesses. "There are too many for us. I know I'm eating for two now, but I'll put on ten pounds a week if I eat all the cookies and cakes Kim insists on us making. It's her latest thing."

He looks at me knowingly. When Kim gets an idea in her head, it's hard to deter her. Last month it was photography. She took photos of everything from the underside of her bed to her brothers while they slept. Much to their disgust. I'm glad that obsession ended before they killed her, or I went deaf from the screaming.

"Well I like this obsession. Any cakes and cookies you can't get through, I'll be glad to take of your hands. I'll just drop that call through to Sam."

As Mike calls his brother to arrange for my truck to be towed to his garage, I glance out the back window. I've recently gotten the kids a pet rabbit and it's out nibbling away in its run. When I'd purchased the pet, Jared had promised me that he would look after it and I wouldn't need to do a thing. Of course I'd not believed him, but for the first week he had diligently fed the rabbit each morning, with Kim and Embry's help, making sure it had fresh water and cleaning out its dirty cage. However, we were now into week three and this was the third morning he had forgotten his duties. I was going to have to get better at reminding him.

"I'm just popping out to feed Nibbles, Mike. I won't be long."

"No problem," he replies, briefly covering the mouth piece of his phone.

It doesn't take me long to top up the water and add some food to his dish. I stop for a moment to give him a little cuddle. Even though I let the kids believe I was reluctant to get a pet, I've really enjoyed having him here and will often wander out to his cage for a cuddle and chat.

"So only a day to go, Nibbles, then I might get to see him again. How do you think he'll react? Am I doing the right thing? I'd want to know if it was me. He can always just tell me to go to hell, I suppose. I hope not. I've missed him so much you know. Of course you know. I tell you almost every day. You know what, I think I need to see a real shrink. First, I rely on a famous movie star to solve my problems, then I spend my time spilling my guts to a rabbit. I'm obviously off my rocker." I laugh. "Thanks for the chat Nibbles. Same time tomorrow?"

I smile and wander back into the house. As I enter I hear voices at the front door. I wasn't expecting anyone this morning, but maybe Ang has decided to call round. I round the corner, coming into view of the door, and then I freeze. It's him. At my door. What's he doing here? How did he know where I live? Shit, I must look a mess.

"So it's true?" His voice sounds wrong. It has a cold edge to it that was never there before. I look deeply into his face and I realize something is terribly wrong. He looks like he could murder someone.

"And you're fucking pregnant too! Well that's just perfect, Beautiful." He spits the words out and they cut me like knives. The way he says my nick name is like it's caught in his throat.

"So I guess I was just a holiday fling after all. To think I thought it meant something. Well it's good to know the truth. I hope you have a good life. I'll not bother you again."

And with that, he's gone.

It takes me a moment to snap out of my trance. I'm in disbelief. First that he was actually here, at my house, and secondly at the words he said.

I saw it in his eyes. He hates me. Why would he hate me? My hands go protectively to my belly. Was it because I'm pregnant? I need to explain. Let him know I didn't planned it, that I've tried my best to let him know about the baby. I rush to the door in time to see him fly off down the road in some kind of silver car.

"Mike, give me the keys to your car," I demand.

"What? Why?" He looks confused.

"I have to catch up with him. I need to explain."

"Bella, no. I'm not helping you get hurt. You heard him. He's not worth it. Please, stay here with me."

"What do you mean 'stay here with you'? What the hell are you talking about Mike?" At this precise moment I'm so confused. Why am I having this conversation in the entrance of my house? I need to be following Edward.

"Bella, I've made no secret of the fact I like you. You know we would be good together. I'd look after you and the kids. I'd give you all you and they need. Stability, security, a family."

"What! I can't be with you Mike. I love him, not you." My eyes go wide and my hand flies across my mouth. I love him. Do I love him? Could I? I'd only know him a week. But I can't stop thinking about him. I dream of him. I miss him. Could this be love?

"He's not what you need, Bella. You saw his reaction to your pregnancy."

Then it dawns on me. Mike must have said something to him.

"What the fuck, Mike!" I yell.

"What? I didn't do anything, Bella!"

"Then why the hell did he run off like that? What did you say?"

"All I said was 'congratulations'. I've no idea why he reacted that way."

"You must have said more than that. What did he say? Why was he here?"

At that point a black Ford pulls up to the curb and my best friend starts to climb out.

"Don't bother getting out, Ang," I instruct, "We're going NOW."

"I'll speak to you later, don't think I won't get the full story when I get back. There's more to this then you're telling me," I yell back angrily at Mike as I climb into the car.

I turn to Angela. "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's get going."

"Where are we headed?" Like the good friend she is, she takes my irrational bossiness in her stride, knowing I'll explain all soon enough.

"Seattle. The airport. I have to head him off. _He_ was here Ang. _He_ came here."

" _He_ was here? Why? What did he say?"

"Please. I'll fill you in as we drive. I can't let him get away." My voice is pleading and I'm almost on the edge of tears. I think she gets my desperation and starts the car.

As Angela pulls out onto the highway, I look down at my hands and notice for the first time they are shacking. My whole body feels tense.

'So it's true?' Those few words he said echo round and round in my head. Why had he come? Why had he left again so suddenly after just one glance at me? Would he ever forgive me for what I'd done?

There is only one way to know these answers. I can't let him get away again.

"So are you going to explain to me what's going on and why I'm driving to Seattle at a break neck speed with no warning? You know I have to be back for school pick up?"

"So do I, Ang, but I can't let him get away. I may never see him again."

"Okay, Bella, start at the beginning and convince me this isn't a fool's errand." She sounds patient, but there is an edge to her voice.

"I don't know the full story. I was out feeding Nibbles and when I can back in Mike was at my front door talking to him. Ang, he was so angry. It's not how I imagined him finding out about the pregnancy, but I didn't expect his to react like that. He looked like he hated me."

I break down, sobbing uncontrollably into my hands. The emotions just take over. How could he hate me? Why would he come here to just run off at the sight of me? Was the thought of having a child with me that abhorrent to him?

The next thing I know Angela's arms are wrapped firmly around me. I look up and realize she's stopped the car at the side of the road.

"Why have we stopped?"

"You needed a hug. Besides, Bella, think this through for a moment please. What do you plan to do?"

"Well I assume he's going to the airport to go back to Los Angeles. I need to stop him and talk to him." I say.

"So you're just going to go running into the airport yelling for him and hope to find him?" She gives me that look, the mother look that you give when your child it talking absolute nonsense.

"Yes, No. I don't know. I'd not thought that far." I sob at her.

"I know Bella. That's why you have a level headed friend. I can see a few problems with your plan. To begin with you don't even know he is going to the airport and even if he is the chances of you finding him there are remote."

"I'll just hang about at check in for the next flight to LA." I wasn't ready to give up on the idea yet.

"Bella think. They won't let you through security without a ticket."

"I'll buy a ticket." I can be a stubborn cow when I want.

"He also might not be on the first flight back. Are you going to wait for all flights? We have kids back in Forks relying on us. We can't spend all day at the airport. As it is to get there and back we'd need to ask someone else to pick them up, which, before you suggest it, I'm sure either your dad or Sue would be willing to do it, but you'd be letting them down. Josh and Jared have their Karate tonight, they'd both miss out."

"But…"

"No Bella." The mom voice was out in force now. "You know it's not practical and the chances of success are slim to none. Besides, you have your ticket for the flight tomorrow. What's one more day? You'll be able to explain it all to him tomorrow when you find him."

I let her words sink in, quietly wiping the tears off my cheeks. I know she is right, but it hurts that I won't see him sooner. I need some answers.

"Okay, Ang. I know you're right. It doesn't mean I like it though."

"Let's head back and see what Mike has to say for himself. Perhaps he can answer some of your questions." Ang's is tone is soft and comforting.

"Thanks Ang, you're a good friend. In fact the best." I hug her firmly again.

As we pull out and Ang turns the car round to head back to Forks I contemplate all that may happen when I get to Edward's house tomorrow. I hope he allows me to explain everything.


	18. Chapter 18 - Two Sides to Every Coin

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape. I did a little tweaking since she reviewed this chapter so any mistakes are mine.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

 **AN: I may have confused some of you with the time frame for the last chapter. I apologise for not making it clear. We have jumped to right before Christmas. The last chapter (and this chapter) happened on the last day of school before the winter break (which for us in Dubai is today!). I've added a sentence to the last chapter to make this clear. What's been happening in the mean time will become clear, but it wasn't really enough to write a chapter about, and I wanted to get Edward back in the story.**

 **I hope you like this EPOV that will, hopefully, explain a little of the last chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 18 – Two sides to every coin

EPOV

As I drive down the highway towards Seattle, I think over all that has happened since arriving in Forks, Washington. Things certainly didn't go as I'd expected. I'd been so convinced she'd be pleased to see me. Surprised, but pleased all the same. I'd gone through various scenarios for our reunion, but none of them fitted with reality. Shit, she's pregnant! How do I deal with that?

I'd driven from Seattle to Port Angeles the previous evening and booked into a hotel. I had a fool proof plan for finding her. I knew Jared and Kim would be attending the local Elementary school. All I had to do was hang about outside until I spotted her dropping them off in the morning. I hoped it would be her that dropped them off, else I was probably stuffed. I knew it was probably the last day of school before the Christmas holidays so I only had this one chance to catch her. I knew her dad and step mom lived locally, so she may rely on them for help with the school run. If I didn't see her in the morning I had plans to come back after school. She had shown me some pictures on her phone of her kids, so I thought I'd recognize them if I saw them.

I'd been missing her so much since she left. A three month film shoot should have been a good distraction, but I still thought about her constantly. In the end it was Alice and Jasper who persuaded me to make this trip, claiming they didn't want to put up with my moody shit over the holiday period. I wondered if she'd been missing me as much as I'd been missing her.

So there I'd been, parked just down from the school gate, closely watching the moms and dads coming and going with their offspring, trying not to look like one of _those_ men who hang about watching the school gate.

Then I saw her. She was hurrying along with her two youngest children in tow. She was just as beautiful as I remembered and she looked happy. There was a radiant glow about her and for a moment I was mesmerized. She was wearing thick warm clothes to shield herself from the cold wind that I saw whipping across the car park, stirring up the dropped litter and old leaves. They obscured her fabulous figure, but she still looked good to me. God, I'd love to have the chance to get her out of those clothes.

Before I could respond to her presence, she had entered the building. But this was not a problem. I would catch her on the way out. It was probably best to talk to her without her children present anyway. I'd spotted a diner on the way in. Perhaps we could talk there. I exited my rental car to wait for her.

There were still several parents milling around chatting when I saw her come back out. With a man. The two of them were talking and as I watched he placed his arm around her shoulder and led her to a car. Who was this man? Was he her boyfriend? Had she entered a relationship since getting back? It had been over three months, it was perfectly reasonable that she would move on. Just because I'd been mourning over her, doesn't mean she felt the same about me.

I continued to watch, as he helped her into the passenger side and I saw him lean into the car. Shit, did he just kiss her? But she's my Beautiful. I'm surprised by the feelings of possessiveness that surge through me. She's not mine. I let her go. By the look of things she now belongs to this fucker.

I watched them pull out of the carpark. But I couldn't let her go. I had to talk to her. I'd come this far. I couldn't go without checking how she was. I quickly got into my car and followed them out of the school.

The drive to her house was short and I saw the two of them leave the car and enter the house. Do they live here together? I watched as they smiled at each other, exchanging little touches as they walked. I saw the way his eyes lingered on her. This man was obviously in love with my Beautiful. I'd left it too long.

I took a few steading breaths to build up the nerves I was going to need to face her. Maybe I could have her as a friend? Yes, I'd come here hoping for more, but I was be willing to take anything at that point.

As I approached the house, I wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans. Why was I so nervous? Was it just seeing her again after all this time? Or was it fear of the fact that I'd lost her?

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door ready to face her.

However it wasn't her who responded.

"Hello, can I help you?" It was the prick who thought he had a right to touch her stood in front of me as if he owned the house, and for all I knew he did.

"Ummm…" Suddenly I was lost for words.

"Look mate, you've knocked on my door, what's it you want?"

So that confirmed it. They do live here together.

"I was looking for Bella. Could I speak to her please?" I asked, as politely as I could, given the circumstances.

He looked at me suspiciously. "What do you want with Bella?" Then a look of anger crossed his face. "It's you, isn't it? You're the guy from LA?"

"Umm…Yes, I guess so." I wondered exactly what he knew about me. What had she told him?

"So, you thought you'd just turn up here did you?" he continued, "Well let me tell you it's not going to work. She's mine, has been ever since she came back from Miami, and I'm not giving her up. You may have had your fun and taken advantage of her when she was feeling low in LA, but that won't wash here. She and I are going to have this baby and raise it and be a proper family. I'm going to give her everything she ever wanted. She needs to be here, near her family with the support we can give her."

His tirade knocked me for six. She'd been with this guy ever since she got back from Miami. So before she came to LA. Then something else he said hits me.

"Baby? You're having a baby?" I asked incredulously.

"So she didn't tell you about that? Well we're over the moon at the news and can't wait for the new addition to our family." He sounded smug, like the cat who'd got the cream. Just like I'd sound if Bella was having my baby.

Just then I heard a noise from the kitchen and I looked up to see Bella come into view. She was still so beautiful. Her face registered complete shock, but my eyes were drawn down to her belly where there is a very distinctive baby bump.

I went cold. Did it all mean nothing? Was I just a fling, a holiday romance? Did she use me whilst all along she had a boyfriend back home?

"So it's true? And you're fucking pregnant too! Well that's just perfect Beautiful." I spit the words out displaying all my hurt and pain, not caring who was witnessing my heart breaking.

"So I guess I was just a holiday fling after all." I continued, "To think I thought it meant something. Well it's good to know the truth. I hope you have a good life. I'll not bother you again."

With those words, I ran back to my car and drove off as quickly as I could. All I could think about was getting as far away from there as I could as fast as I could. There was nothing there for me and the sooner I moved on the better.

As I drive back to Seattle, I can't believe it's happened again. I've been played by another woman. The only difference is that this time I was the bit on the side. As I fight my emotions, willing myself not to let her hurt me, I think back over everything that happened in that week and start to question it all. Was it all a lie? Did she mean any of it? Was I just a brief distraction, before she got on with her real life? I struggle to believe it was _all_ a lie. Her emotions were so plain to read, she couldn't fake them, could she?

I realize these are questions I will never get the answer to. She's gone. She doesn't belong to me. She never did. I need to move on. A couple weeks at my parents will help. Sometimes a hug from your mom is needed, even when you're a twenty-seven year old fully grown man, and my mom gives the best hugs. My ticket was booked to Chicago for Monday to spend Christmas with them, but hopefully it will be an easy job to get it moved to an earlier flight.

At least I'm not going back to the empty house where I have all those memories of spending time with her just yet. By the time, I get back I'll be over her. I'll be ready to move on. I hope. I only knew her a week. It wasn't like a loved her or anything. It was just a fling.

* * *

AN: So did that help to clear up a few things? I know there are still questions, but for the next instalment you will need to wait till next Wednesday, when we are back with Bella. I know Edward is jumping to conclusions and should have talked to Bella, but he's not perfect. I'm sure he'll learn ;-)


	19. Chapter 19 - Return to LA

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

 **Merry Christmas to everyone out there who celebrates. I've just finished all my last minute shopping, so now I think I'm ready and can just relax tomorrow ready for the big day the day after.**

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Chapter 19 – The return to LA

"Bella, it's so great to see you. I've missed you so much." My brother, Seth, welcomes me warmly, bounding up to me and pulling me into a tight embrace.

We've always been close, from the moment we met at Charlie and Sue's wedding when we were forced to walk down the aisle together. Me in an over the top pink dress that I hated, and Seth in a ridiculous page boy outfit that was the epitome of 80's fashion, with a frilly shirt and clip on bow tie. Seth was always the best thing about my visits to Charlie. He was always welcoming and didn't mind me hanging out with him, despite me being a year younger. As I've gotten older he has taken his big brother duties very seriously.

I let the kids out the back of the taxi that transported us from the airport and they run to him, talking nonstop. Kim starts to share a story about how Jared had annoyed her on the drive over and should really have a time out. She is the champion at getting him into trouble and Seth knows this, so greets her story with good humor. Jared does his best to defend his name, especially this close to Christmas, you can't risk ending up on the naughty list. But the truth is he knows he was in the wrong and if we hadn't been in a taxi on the freeway at the time he would have been given his justly deserved punishment. As it is, I don't have the heart to punish him now. Call me soft or a pushover but, with it being Christmas, and their first one without their dad, I just think life is too short.

I decide instead to go for distraction.

"Hey, kids don't we have a load of presents in our bags that you need to put under the tree?"

It works and soon they are grabbing cases from the taxi driver as he pulls them out the trunk. Seth lives on his own, having never found 'the one', but the kids all wanted to get him their own present this year, so we have quite a haul for him.

"Why don't you get those under the tree, then go and unpack in your rooms," suggests Seth as he grabs some of the bags and follows them into the house, dumping them by the foot of the stairs.

"What time's your onward flight?" he asks, as I follow him inside. Seth lives in San Francisco, where he works as a chef in a top hotel, but I'm just dropping the kids off on my way through. Before I can spend a few days catching up with my brother I have an important job to complete. Seth has kindly volunteered to look after my three whilst I make a quick pre-Christmas trip down to LA. Once I'm back, the four of us will spend a few days celebrating an early Christmas with Seth. We then plan to go back up to Forks to spend Christmas day itself at Jake's parent's house.

"Not till six thirty, so I've got a couple hours before I have to leave," I reply. "Thank you so much for looking after the kids for me whilst I make this trip."

Seth isn't able to get Christmas off work as it's obviously a busy time in the hotel, but he's managed to get a couple days off during our visit.

"Anything for you sis," replies Seth as he leads me into the kitchen and starts to rummage through his fridge, pulling out all my kid's favorite foods. "Besides, I love spending time with my favorite niece and nephews."

"I'll tell Leah you said that," I joke.

He turns to me and a look of fear crosses his face. There is no way he wants to get on the wrong side of our sister. That girl is fierce.

"Don't you dare!" he exclaims, then he smiles. "Besides, I've got too much dirt on you, little sis, for you to go tattling on me to Leah. I may just let it slip exactly who it is you're flying down to LA to see."

"Don't you dare!" Now it's my turn to shriek at him. The last thing I need is for my family, especially Leah, to find out who the baby's daddy is before they have to. That girl will have a coronary when she finds out.

Seth stops in his preparations of our meal and turns to me with a serious expression on his face. "Do you think this will work?" he asks quietly.

"I don't know Seth, but I have to try," I say. "I've had no response to the letters I sent to his agent, the studio of his latest film, his sister's agent or any other addresses associated with him that Ang and I could find."

I'd confessed to Seth about Edward soon after finding out I was pregnant. He'd gone all big brother on me for a while, threatening to go down to LA himself and drag Edward Cullen back up to Forks to face the consequences of his actions. He'd calmed down after I'd pointed out, sternly, that I was a fully grown woman who could fight her own battles and that Edward had done nothing wrong, the decision to not stay in contact was all mine.

"Unless him turning up in Forks was his response to your letters?" responds Seth. I'd thought about this. In the letters I'd sent I'd pleaded for whoever received them to pass on my name and phone number to Edward. I'd done my best to not come across as another deranged fan, but how do you convince a stranger you really know a famous movie star, but don't have his address or phone number?

"But why didn't he call first? None of it makes sense," I reply.

"And he's still not on facebook or twitter or any other social media?" He asks as he puts the finishing touches to the feast he has set out on the kitchen table.

I smile at him. "No. Neither him nor Alice. I wish they were, getting in touch with him would have been much easier then."

"You'll find him," says Seth giving me a reassuring hug, "and if he acts like he did in Forks you let me know and I'll kick his ass for you."

It's great to have my brother in my corner. His support means a lot, but I'm genuinely worried about how Edward is going to react when I find him; if I find him.

…

Later that afternoon I say goodbye to my kids and Seth before I get a cab back to the airport for my flight to LA. A flight I'm hoping will allow me to fix things with Edward. I'm still shaken up over his reaction yesterday at my house. I knew it would be a shock and that he may take some time to get used to the idea, but the look of loathing and hate that I was assaulted with knocked me out.

Is the idea of me bearing his child that abhorrent? Was it just the surprise and the way he found out? What really confuses me though is what he was doing there in the first place. Why had he come to my house to see me? If he'd gotten my letters surely he would have phoned first. The only way to get answers to all my questions is to find him and talk to him. This trip has been booked for a while and his reaction yesterday hasn't lessened my need to find him. I need to be sure he really wants nothing to do with me and his child before I gave up for good.

The flight seems to drag on forever. I struggle to relax the whole way. The older, greying gentleman next to me keeps giving me reassuring glances and advice about how flying is the safest form of travel. I don't bother to point out that my nervous nature is not due to a fear of flying, but rather a fear of what waits for me on solid ground at the other end.

I touch down in LA and it's already late. I feel like I've been travelling forever, having left Forks early that morning. I pick up my rental car and make my way to the hotel that will be my base for the next two nights. I'm not a huge fan of chain hotels, but this one was picked solely because it was convenient to the airport.

The next morning I'm up at the crack of dawn and I get straight to work. This trip is my last resort in my attempts to contact him.

I'd not made this trip sooner for a couple reasons. Firstly I was reluctant to leave my kids again so soon. Secondly, I had no idea where in LA Edward lived. I'd paid little to no attention on the few occasions I travelled to and from his house. All I knew was he lived in a gated community and the rough travel time between it and the airport.

Before leaving Forks, Angela and I had poured over google maps for hours, finding the locations of all the gated communities in LA. We narrowed the likely candidates down to four that are most probable based on their distance to the airport and the bars I visited with Edward. I'm convinced that I'll be able to recognize the development then I see it. How I then get inside and up to his actual house, I still have to figure out. I don't expect it to be easy.

I hop onto the small rental car and head off towards my first location. The traffic is awful and it ends up taking me a lot longer than expected to get there, and when I do I'm disappointed to see nothing I recognize. This is clearly the wrong place. I cross it of my list and move onto the next, hoping I have time to get to all four today. As I approach this one I'm getting a really good feeling. The streets I'm passing along seem familiar. As I approach the front gate I know I have found it. The knowledge brings both relief and a new wave of fear.

I pull in across the road to evaluate my options. I watch as residents approach the gate and key in a code. Other drivers use the intercom, presumably to be buzzed in by their host. Just inside the gate there sits a small security hut. Inside a security guard potters around. He waves to a lot of the cars that enter and leave and even stops one to give them a parcel. I watch him share a laugh with the recipient, before the two wave to each other as they part.

I've just made up my mind that I'm going to have to approach the guard when I see him viewing my vehicle suspiciously. I suppose I either act now or leave before he calls the cops.

I drive up to the gates, roll down the window and smile at him, in a way I hope shows confidence in my right to be there.

I glance quickly at the intercom and realizes I have no idea which house number to press to be put through to Edward. Why didn't I take more notice whilst I was here? If I'd only taken down his address I would have saved myself so much worry and time.

As I ponder my stupidity the security guard leans down to my window.

"Can I help you, Miss?"

I'm amused he calls me Miss, especially considering he looks to be in his early twenties.

"I hope so… Liam," I say with a smile, reading his name off the front of his shirt. I'm really hoping that with a little politeness and charm I can win a friend and ally here. "I'm a friend of Edward Cullen's. I stayed with him here for a week this summer. I really need to see him, but I've forgotten his house number and so can't buzz him. I know you probably won't be able to tell me it, but would you be able to perhaps buzz it for me?"

"I'm sorry, Miss, but that is not something I'm able to do. Perhaps if you tried phoning him?"

"Would you believe that I lost his number?" My smile is starting to fall as I realize how unbelievable my story probably sounds.

"So, let me get this straight, you think Mr. Cullen lives here but you don't know his house or phone number? You've also been sat over the road for the last forty-five minutes scoping the place out."

"When you put it like that it all seems a little suspicious." My heart drops as I see failure written before me. But I give it one last try. "I'm sorry, I know you have rules to protect the privacy of the residents, but I've traveled a long way to speak to Edward and it is really important I see him."

As I speak the emotions of the last few days, along with the realization this is a fool's errand and I'm never going to get to see Edward, activates my pregnancy hormones and tears spring to my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I sputter. "I'm not usually this emotional, it's just been a stressful time and I have to get a message to him. He really needs to know, to understand." Without me even noticing I'm doing it my hand has moved protectively to cover my expanding belly. I only realizes when the guard's eyes drift down at the movement and I see them widen as the implication of what I'm saying hits him. Shit. This isn't what's supposed to be happening. I'm not supposed to be revealing to random security guards that I'm carrying Edward Cullen's love child.

"You say you were here visiting him in the summer?" He asks.

"Yes, the last week in August." I see him do some mental calculations, counting out months on his fingers as he looks down, as if assessing the size of my obvious pregnancy bump and I realize I really have let too much out the bag.

"Look, Miss, I really want to trust you, you seem honest and genuine."

He looks away and thinks for a moment and I offer up a silent prayer to whatever deities may be watching over the situation that he decides to trust me and buzzes be through to Edward's house.

"Look, this is what I'm going to do. You understand that I am neither able to deny nor confirm that Mr. Cullen lives in this community. However, if you were to perhaps write a note to someone you thought was a resident here and left it with me, if that person were to actually live here, I may be able to pass it along."

"Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. I'm sure I have some paper and a pen here. It'll only take me a moment." I start to rummage through my bag.

Liam chuckles. "Well it might be best if you pop back over the road to get that done and then bring it to me when you're finished." He nods behind me and I glance back and notice there are a couple cars waiting to gain access to the compound. I smile sheepishly. "Sorry, Liam. I'll get out your way and be back shortly."

I quickly put the car into drive and pull out the way and back to my spot on the other side of the road.

Once there I dig out a notebook and pen from my bag and ponder what to write. Despite my assurances to Liam, I really don't know what to say. What should I put in a letter to the father of my unborn child? It takes me several attempts to get something I'm even vaguely happy with. I know a note will never be able to say what I need to say and I settle for pleading with him to contact me.

Having finally finished I hop out the car and take it over to Liam on foot, not wanting to block up the entrance again.

"Do you think you'll be able to get it to him today?" I had really hoped to see him whilst I was here, to explain things face to face.

Liam looks a little uneasy.

"I shouldn't be telling you this but, no, I don't think it will be today." He obviously can read the disappointment on my face as he hurriedly adds, "but I promise I'll give it to him the next time I see him, okay?"

"Okay," I agree, with a half-smile.

As I turn to cross the street back to my car I hear him call to me again.

"And, Miss, if you turn out to be a journalist I will hunt you down, unborn child or no unborn child."

I turn and see the smile on his face and realize he's joking. Well half joking.

…

I know Liam said he wouldn't be able to get the note to Edward that day, but I still find myself constantly checking my phone and emails all night, just in case. I know it's ridiculous, but I can't help myself. When dinner comes I find I have very little appetite and I'm not able to concentrate for long on anything. Sleep that night is also a scarce commodity. I toss and turn in my sheets until they are a tangled mess around my legs.

I'd left the note with Liam and walked away with a heavy heart. This was probably my last shot to contact him. If this doesn't work

I know I should just walk away. I know that will be hard, in fact the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I keep telling myself the reason I need to see him so bad is out of fairness to him and his child. How can I explain to my son or daughter that they don't know their dad because I didn't try hard enough to contact him? In addition, I truly believe Edward has a right to know he has a child in this world. If he wants to be involved in their life how can I not allow that?

However, even though I said I did this just for them, if I am totally truthful with myself I also really want to see him again for me. I miss him and I'm having an increasingly hard time denying that. When something funny happens, I find myself thinking about how Edward would react. When I'm feeling sad, I ache for one of his hugs or a pep talk. When I get a wave of low self-esteem, I remember our therapy session and all the words he said to me.

So it is with the knowledge that I may never see the man who means so much to me again, that my child may grow up never knowing its dad and Edward, my cocktail man, may never hear the joy of his child's laughter, or feel the warmth of a hug that comes with unconditional love, that I leave LA the next morning. And this knowledge almost breaks my heart.

* * *

 **AN: So Bella has reached out to Edward. Lets hope it works.**


	20. Chapter 20 - Tis the Season to be Jolly

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

 **AN: This is a bit of a filler chapter covering Bella's Christmas. Due to the current season I wanted to do it. It also gives Bella's current state of mind and thoughts on her CM. As it's Christmas, and as this chapter doesn't add much plot, you will be getting a second this week. Update 2 will come out on Thursday in time for the New Year. We may be back with Edward to find out what he's been up to then.**

* * *

 **Chapter 22 – Tis the Season to be Jolly**

I don't know how I got through the Christmas period. For a start it was extremely busy. First there was my flight to LA and back to San Francisco to spend the period up to Christmas Eve with Seth. This was followed by a return to Forks to spend Christmas itself with Jake's parents at La Push. Then there was New Years at my mom's in Phoenix.

In addition, it was the first Christmas for all of us without Jake. The kids and I missed him terribly, as did his parents. I caught his mom, Sarah, shedding a quiet tear on Christmas morning after she had made an excuse to go and check on the dinner. There was nothing I could say to her, I just walked up and held her in my arms as I felt my own tears join with hers.

I love Jake's mom like she's my own. In fact in many ways I treat her more like a mother then I do Renee and I certainly have a closer relationship with her. She's a very laid back woman who takes everything in her stride, which is a contrast to her husband, Billy, who is one of life's worriers. He constantly frets about the smallest thing, from the upkeep of his brand new wheelchair to whether the kids are warm enough in a perfectly heated house.

Sarah was the first to break our silence.

"Do you remember how he used to pretend he hated Christmas. He would moan about how the kids were going to get too hyperactive and eat too much sugar and then he'd be the first to start handing them the candy." She chuckled at the memory. "I'd have to watch him like a hawk to prevent him from sneaking out to steal slithers from the roast ham whilst it was still supposed to be resting. Then he was worse than the kids when it came to nagging us all to leave the table so we could open all the presents."

"He was awful in the run up," I added. "He'd spend half the time moaning about how the shops were too crowed and he hated Christmas shopping and the other half trying to trick me into telling him what I'd bought for him. I could always tell when he'd got my present. He'd get this smug look and start dropping cryptic clues. They never made any sense and half the time I couldn't even understand them after I'd got the present. I loved it, even though it drove me crazy."

We pulled apart smiling at each other as Jake's dad, Billy, came into the kitchen in his wheel chair, catching us in our remembrances.

"Just getting a beer for me and Charlie. Can I get you anything Bella? A glass of wine, or perhaps something a little stronger?" Charlie and Billy have been friends since they were kids, becoming fishing buddies as they got older. They were both so excited when Jake and I announced our engagement. They couldn't wait to be able to call each other family.

"Can't really Billy," I said, patting my bump. Billy has always plied me with alcohol. I'm not sure if it is his way of being a good host, or if he thinks I'm an alcoholic, either way this year I have to be good.

"Oh, sorry Bella, perhaps a small one later then with dinner?"

"That would be fine, I'm sure." I smiled back as he pushed himself back to help Charlie and Sue entertain the children in the living room.

"How is the pregnancy coming along, my dear?" asked Sarah, changing the subject.

It had been hard to tell Sarah and Billy I was pregnant with another man's baby. In a way, I felt like I had betrayed them. But they were extremely understanding. They assured me they felt no less of me. Billy even joked that he had assumed that a 'pretty young thing like me would be snapped up again at some point'. I didn't go into too many details, discussing my sex life with my dead husband's parents was not something I was completely comfortable with. I just put the facts out there that whilst in LA I'd met someone. That we'd hit it off and one thing led to another and, to cut a long story short, I ended up pregnant. I think that's almost exactly how I worded it. They knew I was trying to contact the father, but as yet had had no luck, hence the trip to LA. It meant the world to me to still have their support.

"Okay at the moment," I reply, "but I've not reached that really big and uncomfortable stage yet. I'll call and moan to you when I can't sleep and I need someone to put on my socks for me." Then it hit me. I'd have no one to put my socks on for me. I didn't have Jake and I certainly didn't have CM. It had been five days since I left my note and I'd not heard a word, and judging by his face when he left my place I was rapidly losing hope I would ever hear from him again. My face dropped and new tears started to fall.

"What am I doing, Sarah? It was hard enough having a baby with Jake to hold my hand. He would help me dress when I could no longer bend, he would cook dinner when I was too tired, and he was such a source of strength through the birth itself. I don't know if I can do this without him."

"Bella, you are one of the strongest people I know. If anyone can do this you can. I guess you've still not had a reply to the letter you left for him in LA?"

"Not yet, and to be honest I don't think I can pin my hopes on him being around. I've done my best but now I have to face facts. I'm doing this on my own."

"I hope you do find him, Bella," she said, gathering some coffee mugs onto the counter. "This little one deserves to have the opportunity to have its father in its life."

She turned to me with a mournful expression. The words she didn't say hanging in the air.

She looked at me for a few minutes before continuing. "He's a good man, isn't he, Bella?" I understood the question and where it was coming from. If I was going to be letting this new man into my life, and the lives of her grandchildren, she wanted some reassurances.

I reached over and squeezed her hand. "The best," I said with a small smile, thinking about the wonderful week I had spent with my Cocktail Man.

"Good." she said with a nod, turning back to pour the coffee, "But then again, he'd have to be to put that look in your eye and smile on your face."

She turned back to me, handing me a steaming mug and continued talking before I had a chance to respond, not that I had any idea of how to respond.

"You know we'll always be there for you don't you? Even though Jake is no longer here it doesn't make you any less our daughter. We intend to be there for you and all four children." She emphasized the 'four' and it warmed my heart she was willing to accept my new child so willingly.

"Thanks, Sarah, you don't know what that means to me."

"You do have someone to be with you during the birth if it comes to it?" The concern on her face brought fresh tears to my eyes.

"Yeah, my obstetrician, Jess, is actually a really good friend, we used to go to school together. So she'll obviously be there, and you know Angela?" Sarah nodded, Angela had been a bridesmaid at our wedding and had met Jake's parents on several occasions over the years. "Well she has staked a claim to be there too. Between the two of them, I should get through it." I would always be entirely grateful to my two besties for the support I'd received from them over the last few months.

"Well if there's anything we can do to help, just let us know. We would be more than willing to take the three terrors in there off your hands for a while if it all gets too much."

"And they would love that too. They adore spending time with the two of you. I may well take you up on that. It will be good to have my dad and Sue nearby and of course Leah has said she will help out and take the kids when I go into labor."

Talking with Sarah I began to realize how lucky I really was to have such a good support network around me. I may not have the father of any of my children, but I have a whole extended family and group of friends who would be there for me. I really was blessed and I needed to stop wallowing and living in maybe's and accept how things are and embrace what I have. My glass was more than half full. Yes, things would be tough at times and I still missed CM and wanted him here, but I needed to accept he wasn't and move on.

…

The hectic nature of the season was in some ways a blessing, as I didn't get much time to sit and wallow, but in others a curse, as it left me tired and, hence, emotional. After a lovely Christmas around Jakes parents, with Charlie and Sue visiting, then time at Leah's the day after, eating left over Christmas lunch and too many sweets, the kids and I made the flight down to my mom's in Phoenix for New Year.

To say spending time with Renee was a challenge is an understatement, and to turn up pregnant from a man who I was no longer in contact with just gave her more ammunition to be disappointed in me. It started out with passive aggressive remarks and lead on to outright rudeness. By New Year's Eve, I was at breaking point and my emotions, which I'd been holding in for the last four days, spilled over in one of the biggest rants I've directed at her in years. I accused her of being a shit mother, of never giving me support, of hating me for her own life's failures rather than taking responsibility for her own actions. She yelled back that I knew nothing of responsibility and that I was easy for getting knocked up just weeks after the death of my husband. "Can you imagine how I've looked having to tell my friends about this baby? I can't begin to guess what they must think of me? I can see people think I'm a bad mom, that I didn't raise you right."

"Well if you can only imagine what the consequences are to you and your standing in your social circle, rather than to me, your daughter, who is now going to raise four kids alone, without her own mother's support, then perhaps you are."

"Don't be so over dramatic, Bella. Of course I'll be there for you, but you did make this bed so now you have to sleep in it. Accept the consequences of your actions."

"I am accepting the consequences. This baby, as well as my other kids, are not going to want for anything, especially not love and acceptance." I went to walk away, but she'd apparently not finished and yelled after me.

"Well if you think raising four kids without a man is going to be easy, then good luck to you. I was a lone parent for most of your life, if you remember, and it was hard. I may not have got everything right, but I tried my best. If your father had just been willing to take a little more responsibility then perhaps my life would have been better."

I saw red again and turned back to confront her. "Dad did all he could and you know it. It was you who moved away from him, not the other way round."

"What do you know of my struggles, Bella? You've had your life handed to you on a plate. The chance to go to college and get a good career, a husband who was there for you, the big house, the fancy car, three good kids who listen to you. You've had it easy up to now, but you'll learn."

She almost sounded happy that I was now going through some difficulties. Besides, my life was not like that at all. I'd worked bloody hard to get a scholarship to a top college and then worked throughout my degree to finance my living expenses. Jake and I had then worked hard at our careers, putting in the hours when needed, in order to progress. Neither of us had had anything handed to us on a plate.

I also knew that arguing with my mother achieved nothing. She had her beliefs and nothing I said ever seemed to change them. I knew once again, I was going have to just bite my tongue and move on. It didn't stop me letting the anger out a little and acting like the teenager I'd been when we'd had our worst spats.

"Whatever, mother. You've had such a hard life and mine has just been a bed of roses. I understand. But now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and get me and my kids ready for this party tonight where you can be thoroughly embarrassed by your blatantly pregnant and unmarried daughter."

As I said, she tended to bring out the teenager in me. I even went as far as to storm off and slam a door on the way. She yelled after me, but I didn't have the stomach for anymore. I went straight to my kids and got us all showered and dressed.

That night we were all going to a friend of Renee's who was holding a party to see in the New Year. They had a daughter who had been at school with me when I lived in Phoenix and I wasn't really looking forward to seeing them and having the usual discussions on my life over the last year.

'So sorry for your loss...'

'Oh, you're pregnant...'

'So you've met someone else already...'

'Life goes on...'

Once I'd heard these sentences for about the hundredth time that evening, I was ready to call it a night, but we were still an hour off midnight. But I couldn't go yet as Renee and I had travelled over together and I had about as much chance of getting her to leave early as I had of walking on the moon. Besides, I was avoiding her.

Embry, Jared and Kim were curled up around each other, asleep on the sofa, oblivious to the chatter and music around them. So I snuck off to the kitchen and fell onto a stool at the breakfast bar, grateful to be able to take the weight off my tired, swollen feet and to be away from the party for a few minutes. I pulled out my phone to text Angela and Jess and see if their New Year's celebrations were going any better. Damn, the thing was out of power. It was my own fault. Embry had been bored earlier so I'd given it to him to play some games. Those things really ate through the battery. I hoped people didn't think I was rude if I didn't send them my normal New Year's messages until the morning. Knowing Jess and Ang, they would probably just assume I went to bed early. Besides I was going home tomorrow, not a moment too soon in my opinion. I'd definitely had my fill of Renee for this year.

New Year came and went with me hiding out in the kitchen. It wasn't as bad or as lonely as it could have been. I was actually joined by the drunk host's husband who proceeded to tell me embarrassing stories about his daughter. She always came across as little miss perfect when I'd known her at school, so I found the gossip he was feeding me highly amusing. He was eventually dragged away a little after midnight to say goodbye to the guest's who'd started to leave.

I wondered if Renee was willing to make a move yet, but when I went to find her she was still gossiping with her friends, knocking back the gin and tonics. I settled down on the sofa and pulled Kim onto my lap and proceeded to doze myself with my favorite girl in my arms and my two favorite men snoring gently beside me.


	21. Chapter 21 - What Does It Mean?

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 21 – What does it mean?**

 **EPOV**

I don't get home till around midday on New Year's Eve. I've been at my parents' house in Chicago over the whole Christmas period; it's the longest I've spent with them in a while. It's been a strange time. I could tell my parents knew something was up. But it was hardly surprising; I've been moody, sullen and withdrawn. I think they put it down to me still moping around after Tanya. In reality, I've hardly thought about Tanya since meeting Bella. How could someone I only knew for just over a week affect me this way? Why did her betrayal hurt so much more? It wasn't as if we even had a relationship. We both knew it couldn't work. But to find out she was with someone else all that time. That she was pregnant with his baby and planning a life with him. That hurt.

I struggle to reconcile the woman I met with someone who would lie to me. She always said we couldn't have a relationship. She said it was because of the distance, our ages, my job, her kids. The reality; however, is we can't be together because she is with someone else.

I refuse to believe everything was a lie. She was so open with me, her emotions were so raw and she let me see all of her, apart from that bit she kept hidden. Why didn't she just tell me she had someone back home? Had she been planning to have her little fling with the movie star all along?

I'm such a fool. Why can't I tell when people are lying to me? Why do I keep falling for girls who all treat me this way? Why wasn't she different? She told me she'd never cheat, but that was a lie. She cheated on him and she cheated on me.

I've promised Alice and Jasper I'll go around to their house tonight for a New Year's Eve party. I'm really not in the mood, but Alice has told me enough is enough. Apparently she's fed up with me being boring and moody and I need to get over it already or do something about it.

So tonight, after a long ass flight across the country, I am being forced to show my face and play my part. Well I'm an actor aren't I? I can do this.

I spend the afternoon resting and freshening up for what might prove to be a long night. Maybe I should just get drunk and pull some girl. Mindless sex. Perhaps that's the way forward, the way to protect my heart. I don't think I can take another cheating incident. Or perhaps I should just stay away from girls, period. They all seem to be more trouble then they're worth.

She would have been worth it though. Would I have given up that week to save myself from the hurt I feel now? Would it have been better to have never met her, to have never sent that cocktail? That's a tough one. I think back over all the memories, watching movies together, hanging out by the pool, playing computer games, going out with my friends, and finally our day in bed. I smile as I remember the good times, getting to know her, seeing her coming out of herself and growing in confidence. That last day when she took charge in the bedroom, when we laughed and cried together at having found each other, but knowing we had to say goodbye. No, I wouldn't give those memories up, even if they are now tainted with the truth that they were, at least in part, a lie.

It's quite late by the time I leave the house to go to Alice and Jasper's and I'm just driving out the gate when Liam, one of the regular security guards comes running out of his hut.

"Mr. Cullen," he calls as the gates open to allow me out of the community. "I've been holding onto this for you since before Christmas, I'm so glad I caught you. I promised her I'd hand it to you myself. I wouldn't normally do it, and I'm sorry if she's some crazed fan, but she seemed so genuine, and so sad that I had to help her. I hope you understand."

"Okay, Liam, slow down. What are you talking about?" I ask.

"Oh this," he says and hands me a thin envelope. "A woman came by before Christmas looking for you, but you weren't here so she left you a note. She didn't seem like your usual fan, she was a little older and pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Shit is was her. She was here. "When was this Liam, when did she leave this?"

"It was the Sunday, I think, the last one before Christmas. She looked lost, and so desperate to contact you. You don't mind I took the note do you Mr Cullen?"

Did I mind? I don't know. I'm puzzled though. She was here the Sunday after I saw here on the Friday? Why did she come? Why did she want to see me?

I realise I've just been sat there staring at the envelope when Liam clears his throat.

"Are you okay, Mr. Cullen?" He asks.

"Oh, fine, Liam, just a little surprised, that's all. Thanks for keeping this for me. Um, well I suppose I'd better get going."

"Bye then, Mr. Cullen and Happy New Year." Liam concludes.

I drive off still clutching the envelope in my hand. What could it all mean? She should have been up in Forks with her family and her fiancé. Why would she be down here leaving me notes? Did my visit to her prompt her trip down? Was she angry I'd turned up at her place? Did it cause problems between her and the father of her child? He seemed to know about me so she'd obviously told him something about what happened in LA. Had my presence caused them problems? I wasn't sure what I thought about that. Did I want to cause her problems in her relationship?

As soon as I arrive at the party I go in search of Alice. She is one of my best friends as well as my sister, and is great at giving advice. The house is packed and the music is loud. I can feel a headache coming on as I get frustrated trying to find her. Eventually I run into her leaving the kitchen and I drag her out to the back of the property to have a chat.

"Fucking Hell, Edward. It's cold out here. You better have a good reason for dragging me away from my own party."

"Alice, Bella left me a note?" I explain.

"What? She left a note? Where? When?" Alice found it hard to believe the truth about Bella. She'd been badgering to try and contact her again, but there really was no point.

"She left it with one of the security guards. She came down to find me the Sunday after I visited her. Why would she come to find me Alice? She was getting on with her life? Why come down to mess up mine some more?"

"What does she say in the note?" asks Alice.

"I don't know I've not read it yet." I admit.

Alice gives me an exasperated look. "Well that may be a good place to start. You may get some of your answers if you read it."

"I don't know if I want to. I walked away from her house knowing I wouldn't have to see or hear from her again, and here she is invading my home and my serenity."

"Edward, what serenity? You've been raging and moping and acting like a teenage girl on PMS ever since you visited her. You have no serenity. Now read the letter and get some answers."

She's right, I know she's right, but I'm still nervous.

"What if I don't like what it says?"

"Will you be worse off then you are now?"

I think for a brief moment. "No, probably not," I admit with a resigned sigh. "Okay, here goes."

I rip open the letter and read it aloud to Alice.

Dear Edward, my CM,

I'm so sorry I missed you today. I have been trying to contact you for a while, I really thought you deserved to know everything, and I suppose now you do. I'm sorry if the situation was a shock to you, but I would really like to have the opportunity to explain everything to you in person.

I know we agreed to not contact each other again, but as you could see things have changed. You probably think I've turned into some kind of stalking, turning up on your door like this, but it really is my last resort. I ask you, please, to just call or email me. If after we speak you still want nothing to do with me I promise I will respect that and you will never hear from me again.

Thanks in advance,

Bella

"That's it," I say. No explanation, no apology for lying to me. "What do I do now Alice?"

"You call her."

"Why? So she can explain how she played me? How she took me for a fool? No thanks, Alice."

"No, so you can find out why she felt the need to contact you. She says here she's tried to contact you for a while and then she flew all the way to LA to leave you a note. Why would she do that? If she is happy up there is Forks why is she so desperate to talk to you? Edward you have to phone her, you have to know what this is all about. Besides it will only play on your mind and drive you mad if you don't"

Alice is right, of course she is.

"When should I do it Alice?" I ask.

"Well there's no time like the present, strike while the iron's hot and all that."

I give her a look. Alice was not usually one to pull out the clichés.

"Okay, okay, but you get the point. Do it now, before you talk yourself out of it again. I'll give you some privacy." And with that she disappeared back inside the house.

I pull out my phone and lean up against the side of the house. I type in the number at the bottom of the note and then just stare at it. Five minutes pass and I've still not connected the call. I press the button and put the phone up to my ear.

It rings. And it rings. Eventually it goes to voice mail. I hang up before it gets to the beep. I'm not leaving a message. For a start, I'd have no idea what to say. Why didn't she answer? I go back into the house in search of Alice; and a drink.

…

"She's probably out, it is New Year's Eve after all. If she's at a party she probably didn't hear the call." Jasper says.

I failed to find Alice, but Jasper is proving a decent substitute. These are all valid excuses for why she didn't answer. I know this. I just don't like waiting. The not knowing what's going on is killing me.

"If I were you, I'd enjoy the party and phone her in the morning. Talking while you're both at parties is probably not the best idea," he continues.

Once again this is good advice. But will I take it? Who knows, for now all I know is I need another drink.

One drink leads to two, which leads to three and then I lose count. I wake the next day in Jasper and Alice's spare room. I'm not too sure how I got here, but I'm still fully clothed which is a slight blessing.

I stumble downstairs and into the kitchen to find my friends and apologise.

"Ahh, here he is at last. The drunken fool," chimes Alice as I enter the room.

"Please, Alice, not so loud. Where do you keep the Advil?"

She laughs and hands me a glass of water before rummaging in a cupboard for a bottle of pills.

"So, drinking yourself into oblivion worked out well for you then?" enquires Jasper.

I groan. "Did I make a huge fool of myself?"

"You were dancing on the tables, trying to kiss some blonde, singing, you even did a little strip tease at one point," says Jasper.

"Really? Oh shit!" There's no way this isn't making it into the tabloids. There is always someone willing to sell a story like this at the right price.

"Yeah. You kept call out for your Bella. Bella, Bella, where are you?" Jasper mock calls.

I look at him distraught. Shit this is really bad.

"Oh, Jazz, stop messing with him." Alice hit Jasper playfully on the arm, smiling lovingly at him as she does it. "It's okay, Edward, you did nothing of the sort. You just sat of the sofa, looking sullen, drinking whiskey until you fell asleep. I then persuaded Emmett to carry you upstairs."

Well that could have been worse, but I'm sure Emmett's not going to let me forget that. "Really, I didn't make a huge fool of myself?"

"No, you were just your usual moody self. Talking of which, when are you going to try phoning again? I need my fun loving Edward back instead of this Emo version." Alice sits down next to me, wrapping her arm around mine and resting her head on my shoulder. I know she doesn't like seeing me upset.

I kiss the top of her head. "Soon, but first, coffee and food. I need my wits about me before I face that situation."

I eat with Jasper and Alice and spend a little bit of time helping them to clear up the house. Alice has a cleaning company coming in later, but there are still a few things she wants us to do before they get here, like picking up discarded coats and other paraphernalia and trying to remember who was wearing them. I'm useless, having failed to observe even who was at the party let alone what they were wearing, but Alice has a knack and is soon calling around her friends to arrange for the collection of the left item.

I decide to phone Bella when I get home. It's the type of call that should be done when I'm comfortable, and in private.

It's about two in the afternoon before I try again. This time the call goes straight to voice mail, as if the phone is turned off. Perhaps she was at a party last night, I reason, and now her phone is out of power. I try again in another hour. And then again an hour later. All go straight to voice mail. It's four in the afternoon now. Surely she would have charged her phone by now? I decided to phone Alice for some advice.

"Edward, did you talk you her." That's Alice for you, straight to the point.

"No, I tried but it's going straight to voice mail."

"Bummer. But then it's not like she's exactly expecting your call. She has waited over a week," she muses.

"Well that's hardly my fault. I suppose all I can do it try her again later," I say.

"Or you could try emailing?" suggests Alice.

"Oh yeah. I forgot she left her email too." This hangover is really not helping my thought processes.

"Silly boy. It will also give you time to think about what you want to say." She sounds a little smug. Alice likes to be right.

"Thanks Alice, you're a life saver."

"I know Edward, now go and make contact." Alice said as we finished up the call.

I'm on my laptop and my email function is open in no time. But then I just sit there. What do I want to say? I have no idea.

I go to the bar and pour myself a whiskey. I need something to settle my nerves. It may also give me some inspiration. I think about everything that man said when I called at their house. Why would she keep stringing me along? This is unfair and cruel. She is moving on, why can't she let me do the same? She built up these feelings in me and then ripped them apart. Can't she now just leave me alone to get over this? Why does she feel the need to pester me and explain things? They were explained well enough at her house. I need to make it clear that I will hear her explanation, but I need to protect myself. I can't let her hurt me again. I refuse to open up those wounds further. I need to move on, just like she is.

The email I wrote may have been a little abrupt, but I am angry and I refuse to be walked over again. I will not let any more of my heart be shattered.

I read it through a few times and press send before I chicken out. I sit and stare at the computer for the next hour waiting for a reply, but none comes. What does this mean? Is she ignoring me or is she just not getting her emails? There is no way to know the answer to this. Eventually I give up and go to bed. I'm sure I'm going to have another hangover tomorrow with the whiskey I've drunk tonight, but at least I should sleep.

I wake late again the next day and grab a coffee, before I remember the email I sent the night before. I start to second guess if the tone was too harsh. Maybe I shouldn't have sent it at all. I go to my computer to see if there is a reply, and there is. Well let's see what she has to say.


	22. Chapter 22 - Miscommunication

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 22 – Miscommunications**

* * *

From: Edward Cullen

To: Isabella Black

Date: 1st January 7:45pm

Subject: Your Note

Bella,

I received your note yesterday and you seemed keen to contact me. I'm not sure why as your friend told me all I needed to know when I visited your house. I tried to call you, but I kept getting your voice mail so I'm resorting to Email. Please feel free to reply and tell me what is so important that it necessitated a trip down here to see me.

Edward

* * *

To: Edward Cullen

From Isabella Black

Date: January 2nd 7:15 am

Subject: Re: Your Note

Edward,

I'm sorry I missed your calls yesterday. I was on the road most of the day, travelling home from my mother's in Phoenix.

You say you have heard enough to know you do not wish to have anything to do with us. I'm sorry you feel this way. I had hoped that once the shock had worn off you would at least be willing to hear my side of the story. Please be aware I was not looking for anything from you. It was not a trap or anything pre-meditated.

As this is the way you feel you can rest assured I will not be contact you further. I do not expect anything from you going forward.

I wish you all the best. If at any point in the future you change your mind I would please ask that you contact me first, before just showing up. I'm sure you will understand that discretion would be advised.

Bella

* * *

To: Isabella Black

From: Edward Cullen

Date: January 2nd 13:12pm

Subject: Explanations

Your side of the story Bella? What possible explanation could you give that would make this all right? You lied to me and you treated me like all the girls before you. I thought you were different, but you are the same as all the rest. You lied and you cheated.

As for looking to get anything from me I can assure you any schemes you may have to get money or fame from this situation will not work. I'd like to think those things were above you, but I'm beginning to suspect I didn't know you at all. Was it all a lie Bella, to get into my bed? Was it all just a ploy to have a last fling before going back to your hum drum life?

I can assure you I will not be contacting you again in the future so you have no worries there.

Edward

* * *

To: Edward Cullen

From: Isabella Black

Date: January 2nd 13:35pm

Subject: Good Riddance

Fuck you.

As I remember it, it was you who approached me in the bar. You who took me off and got me drunk. You who went on to seduce me over the course of a week. You who got me on the tequila shots and so drunk I didn't know what I was doing. How dare you say I planned this.

I understand it was a shock to discover I was pregnant, but I never once lied to you. It was you who assured me we'd used a condom, so you are as much at fault in this situation as I am. I didn't ask to fall pregnant, I didn't ask to have your child, but life is what it is. I've not asked you for a thing and I can assure you neither I nor your child ever will. We do not need anything from you. I just thought you had a right to know and, if you chose, be a part of their life. I would never force this on you and I'm insulted you would think that of me. I also thought you knew me better than that.

You've made it perfectly clear to me that you wish to have nothing to do with us ever again, and so as promised I will not be contacting you again.

Bella

* * *

To: Isabella Black

From: Edward Cullen

Date: January 2nd 13:40

Subject: My Child

My child! You're having _my_ child? Shit, Beautiful. I thought, hell, it doesn't matter what I thought. Please, we need to talk. I'm phoning you while I type this. Please pick up. Please Bella. I have to speak to you.

Edward, your CM

* * *

To: Isabella Black

From: Edward Cullen

Date: January 2nd 13:44

Bella, Beautiful, please. My last email was returned to me unread and you're not answering your phone. Please. I made a huge mistake. I was misled into thinking the baby wasn't mine. Please respond to me. I have to put this right.

Your CM

* * *

"Alice, she won't talk to me. I've messed it all up. What do I do? Please you have to help me put this right." I've got Alice on the phone.

"Edward, whoa, slow down. What's going on? Did you email Bella?" she asks.

"I did, last night, but I think I was a little rude, I was still so angry with her but it turns out I was so wrong." I explain desperately.

"And now she won't speak to you? Did you find out why she was contact you?" Alice asks for clarification.

"That's why it's so important I talk to her Alice, but I've messed it up. I've driven her away." I say.

"Edward, focus, what's this all about?" Alice asks, clearly wanting the full story.

"The baby's mine, Alice. I'm going to be a dad. But I kind of told her I never wanted to see her again before I realised and now she won't answer my calls and all my emails are being returned un-opened. What do I do Alice?" I fully explain, sounding panicked I'm sure.

"Holy shit, Edward. Bella is having your baby? You're going to be a dad? I'm going to be an Aunt? It's not that douche bags? Then why did he tell you it was? I need answers Edward, you need to tell me what's going on." She continues to question.

"But I don't have them, Alice. As I said, she's cut me off. She won't speak to me anymore. She thinks I want nothing to do with her or her… our baby." I answer.

"Why on earth would she think that?"

"Well I might have said it in the email." I admit.

"And _why_ would you do that?" Alice asks, annoyed.

"Because I thought she was having someone else's baby, you know how angry and hurt I was Alice. I thought she'd lied to me. You know this Alice, but then in her last email she made it clear, it's my baby." I explain my side.

"So what are you going to do? How are you going to make this right?"

"There's only one thing I can do. I'm going to go to her." I tell Alice.

"Good for you, Ed. Go get your girl." Alice encourages.


	23. Chapter 23 - The Reunion

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 23 – The reunion**

 **BPOV**

I'm so pissed off. I don't understand his attitude. The emails he sent yesterday were so cold, so distant and remote. It was like they came from another person, not my caring, considerate Cocktail Man. I can understand him being shocked, even angry at the situation, but now, even after he's had time to cool down and think things over he is still rejecting us. Well, things are as they are, I suppose. There is no point in wallowing. I did that last night. Now I have to be strong. I've got three amazing young people, and another on the way who only have me to rely on and I will be everything they will need. They will not want for love. I have enough for two parents.

But God help Edward Cullen, if I ever see him again. How could he be so hurtful? Claiming I'd planned to snare him. Insinuating I fell pregnant to get money and fame from him. I don't want or need anything from him. I certainly don't want fame. At least his rejection means I won't have to deal with the media fall out from this situation. My little one will grow up away from the limelight, without his or her photo appearing in magazines. He or she will have a chance of a normal life.

Talking of 'He or She', today is the day I find out. I'm now at twenty weeks and I have a scan with Dr. Stanley, AKA Jess, and I get to find out the sex. Then I can start picking names. I've held off thinking too much about it, assuming Edward might want a say, but now I get to pick it on my own. Why does that make me so sad? I suppose I'm sad my child will not get to meet and know its dad. I wonder how I'll explain things as she or he gets older. Will I tell them who he is? How will I explain that he doesn't see his own child or know them? Oh well, these are problems for another day. Today is a happy day. Today I see my baby.

I pull up to the Doctor's office and take a big calming breath. I don't want this moment tainted with bad feelings about Edward. This is just about the two of us. Embry, Jared and Kim were so excited this morning and can't wait to pick them up from school so they can find out if they are getting a brother or sister.

With thoughts of my excited children running through my brain, I enter the doctor's and approach the desk. Mrs. Cope is on duty as usual and she warmly welcomes me letting me know Dr. Stanley is just finishing up with another patient, but that the nurse will be with me shortly to start taking my measurements.

This is standard practice. What is not so standard practice is that Jess usually books me an extra-long appointment so we can get some gossiping in after we've finished up. She is always fishing for more info on my baby daddy. I've told her bits and pieces about the circumstances of my pregnancy since that day in Port Angeles when we found out together, but Angela and Seth are still the only people to whom I've revealed the identity of my baby's father. Jess only knows it was a holiday fling. I've not seen her for about three weeks, due to the holidays, so we are bound to have a lot to talk about today. I wonder if Mike has told her about Edward turning up here before Christmas. In the brief chat I had with him after the incident, Mike reiterated that he realised the man at my door was the father of my child, but he failed to recognise him as Edward Cullen. He apologised to me profusely for dropping my pregnancy bomb shell before I could, but he'd assumed if the guy was here I'd contacted him and he already knew. I couldn't really blame him for Edward acting like a jerk. Yes, I'd have preferred to tell him myself, perhaps then things would have gone better.

We'd also had to have a chat about him wanting more than friendship. It wasn't the first time he'd tried to take our relationship further, getting over friendly or asking me out on a date, but I thought I'd made it clear that whilst I liked spending time with him I was not interested in anything more.

Jess finds it funny that Mike has asked me out. Again and again. Jess herself has moved on from casual dating. She is now seeing a very hot surgeon, and from what she says has definitely traded up in the bedroom department. Poor old Mike, he really didn't rock her world quite as much as 'Dr. Sex' does. That's right, she calls him Dr. Sex. It makes me briefly ponder if I could settle for mediocre sex after having my world blown apart by my own sex on legs. Well no point lingering on that.

I'm pulled from my musings by the nurse calling my name and I go through to be weighed, pee in a jar and generally be poked and prodded.

It's not long before I'm lying back on the doctor table with my belly exposed whilst Jess gets the equipment ready to perform the ultrasound.

"So, are you excited? I understand you want me to try and find out the sex today as well as checking the general well-being of this little bump of yours."

"Excited doesn't cover it, Jess. You should have seen the kids this morning. They were begging me to let them have the day off today so they could come along and find out first hand."

"Well, I'm picking Paul up from school this week so I'll be there this afternoon when you tell them. I can't wait to see their reactions," says Jess, with a huge grin.

She reaches across to pick up the gel that she needs to squirt on my belly to perform the scan and as she does there is a knock on the door.

"I'm sorry Bella, they know I'm in here doing a scan so this is probably important. I'll just be a minute."

She pulls the curtain around me to hide my exposed body from the door.

"Mrs. Cope. Is there a problem?" I hear Jess ask the receptionist.

"Sorry to disturb you, Dr. Stanley, but there is gentleman here who says he needs to see Bella. He was quite insistent I come back and let her know he's here. He said it was very important and he's really sorry not to have been here earlier, and I quote 'Tell Bella her CM is here and he's sorry for being such a fool'. What do you want me to do? Should I get rid of him?"

"One second, I'll find out what Bella wants to do."

I'm in pieces as Jess sticks her head back around the curtain. Could this be real? Is Edward here? Has he come? Does he want to be part of his child's life? My heart is beating so fast. This can't be good for the baby. Shit. Do I want him here? I'm so mad at him. He rejected us; told us he wanted nothing to do with us. But then, is it fair to deprive him of this experience? The chance to see his baby, to find out the sex as I do? I briefly think about punishing him and being selfish, but this is bigger than me and my hurt and anguish. This is about this baby and for their sake I need to try and make things right with their father. I want to be able to tell this little one about the look on their father's face when he first saw them on the ultrasound.

"Let him in, Jess, he should be here."

She looks at me for a moment, as if trying to gauge my true feeling on this and I try to give her a reassuring smile. "Okay, Bella," she relents, giving me a nod.

"You heard the woman, Mrs. Cope, let the man in."

I hear the door close and Jess pushes back the curtain slightly.

"Are you sure about this Bella?" Jess can be fiercely protective, and it would appear my bravado is not completely convincing.

"Yep, it's for the best Jess." I see the curious look in her eye. She is desperate for the gossip around my baby's daddy showing up. "I'll fill you in later, okay?"

"No problem." She gives me a reassuring smile.

Then there is a knock at the door and I see it tentatively open a crack.

I take in Edward's appearance. He is dressed in his usual style, a t-shirt covered by an open button down shirt over jeans and on his head he is wearing a beanie. It is his eyes that catch my attention however. There are large dark shadows underneath, as if he's not been sleeping well and the eyes themselves were full of sorrow and remorse. They call to me of regret and sadness.

"Can I come in?" he asks tentatively and looking into those eyes how can I deny him?

I nod and he enters and approaches the bench. Both of us seem unsure what to say and it takes Jess to break the ice.

"Well I suppose we should get on with what were here for. Who wants to see a baby?"

I look at her and smile. "Go ahead, Jess. Oh, Jess, this is Edward, Edward this is Jess, ummm Dr. Stanley, Ummm…" I wasn't too sure where I was going with this introduction and Jess is looking at Edward in a curious way.

I look over at Edward and he is just looking at my face, as if searching for something. He notices me looking at him. "I'm so sorry, Beautiful. It was all a misunderstanding. I promise I'll explain it all later. Thank you so much for letting me in here." His voice sounds raw, as if he's holding back tears, and his eyes are glassy. There is no denying his emotion.

"Well, I never wanted to deny you any of this. It's not fair to you or the baby. I'm pleased you're here, but I'm still mad at you. As you said, we'll talk about this later." I'm still trying to understand why he's here. I need to hear his explanation, but it will have to wait.

I look across at Jess and she is almost bouncing in her seat. I know she has a million questions she wants to ask me, but she also knows this isn't the time or place, but the not knowing is killing her.

"And we'll talk later too, Jess, I promise."

This seems to settle her a little and she reaches for the gel before squirting it on my belly. The first thing she does it to check the heartbeat. The fast rhythmical sound fills the small room and I watch Edward as his eyes go wide.

"Is that what I think it is?" he asks.

"That's your baby's heart beat," Jess clarifies, now fully focused and in doctor mode.

"If sounds very fast." Edward looks a little concerned and Jess is quick to put his mind at rest.

That's perfectly normal. Baby's heart beats are meant to be faster than adults. It's just as it should be, nice and strong. Now let's see if we can get a look shall we?"

She turns on the ultrasound machine and after some moving around a picture of my little one comes up on the screen.

I look up at Edward and he is just staring at the screen, transfixed.

"Oh my God," I hear him murmur, "That's our baby, Beautiful." He looks down at me briefly, and I feel him grab my hand that was lying on the bench next to where he is stood. "That's our baby. We're having a baby."

"Yes, I know Edward." I smile at his reaction.

"He's beautiful, just like his mum," he quietly continues. He looks in shock and I realise I was right to let him in. It would not have been right to deny him this moment. I'm still mad at him and I still want answers, but to be honest, I'm enjoying his reaction so much. It is wonderful to see the pure joy and amazement in his face. He can't stop looking at the screen as Jess moves the wand around to capture our little one from other angles.

"Well we don't know he's a 'he'," interrupts Jess. "But are you both ready to find out?"

Edward looks at her puzzled for a moment.

"Do you both want to find out the sex today? I know Bella does," Jess clarifies.

"Really, you can tell us?" He asks.

Edward seems to be in shock.

"Of course, if that's what you want?" Edward looks to me for confirmation that I want to know.

"Hell yes. Tell us what we're having, Doc."

"Well, you need to go out and buy pink, you're having a girl." Jess looks between the two of us smiling.

I look up at Edward and he's looking back at me.

"We're having a daughter, Beautiful. I'm going to be a dad." His voice sounds choked up and there is a look of awe in his eyes. As he speaks he brushes a stray hair away from my face. We are staring into each other's eyes. "Thank you, thank you so much," he says. Then he leans forward and plants a gentle kiss on the corner of my mouth. I think he does it before he realises what he's doing, as soon after his eyes go wide, to match mine, and he is apologising to me.

"I'm sorry, Bella, that wasn't appropriate, I shouldn't have done that."

"Shhh, Edward, it's okay. You're allowed to be happy and amazed. It's an amazing thing. I'm glad you were here for this moment, I'm glad I got to see this reaction. For a while I thought I never would, but we'll talk about that later. For now let's just enjoy the fact we are going to have a lovely little girl."

"Well, I'm done." Jess breaks into our bubble. "I've got all the measurements and baby is growing just as she should be. All organs look good and the blood flow is strong. Everything is on course, Bella."

Jess, ever the professional, even in the face of one of her friends having a gossip worthy moment, has got on with the real reason for the scan, checking the health of our little one.

"Now who wants a picture?" she asks.

"Please!" Edward and I both answer in unison. We look at each other, then at Jess with silly grins on our faces.

"So pictures all round," she smirks printing some off on the machine before handing one to me and one to Edward. Edward holds his in his hand and stares at it likes it's the most precious thing he's ever seen.

She hands me some paper towels to wipe off the gel, which I proceed to do, before covering my belly back up. "Come join me at the desk."

I get up and lead Edward, who still seems a little in shock, over to the seats in front of Jess's desk.

"So, it looks like you're progressing well, Bella. Baby and mother both heathy. Are there any questions since I last saw you? Are you experiencing any other symptoms?"

"No, things are going well. I like the second trimester, you've got more energy than the first and you're not yet a big blob so can still do things."

"Enjoy it," advises Jess, "especially those pregnancy hormones," she adds with a rise of her eyebrows.

"Jess!" I warn. I know exactly what she's talking about. I've been feeling so horny the last few weeks, but I've no intention of acting on those hormones. I'm still mad at Edward and he has a lot of explaining to do. I have to confess I'm extremely confused. Ever since Edward walked in he's been acting like this baby is the best thing ever. He seems in awe of the situation and in disbelief that we are actually having a baby, yet a couple weeks ago when he first found out I was pregnant he couldn't get away quick enough. The emails he sent me made it perfectly clear he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. Why the change of heart? How could he go from extreme loathing and accusing me of trying to trap him to being here acting like this all in the space of forty-eight hours? I really need to get some answers as soon as we're out of here.

"So, Edward. Do you have any questions?" asks Jess.

Edward looks momentarily shocked, "Umm... Yeah, um... is everything ok? Is there anything I should be doing to support Bella? The pregnancy is progressing as it should I assume, there aren't any problems are there?"

Jess smiles at him. She's used to anxious fathers. "Bella and the baby are fine and all is going as expected. There are a few extra risks, given Bella's age, but so far everything is as you'd expect."

Edward looks sad for a moment. "I've got a lot to catch up on."

"Yep, you certainly do; as do I," I reply.

"Well," says Jess, "that's all I needed, so you're free to go."

"Thanks Jess," I say rising from my chair and giving her a hug before leading Edward towards the door.

"Go on ahead," I say to him, "I'll meet you in reception, I just have to have a quick word with Jess."

I watch him disappear up the corridor. Yes, I admit it. I looked at his ass. So sue me.

"One quick thing Jess," I say as I turn back into the room.

"Anything Bella," she replies.

"I can trust you to be discrete about this can't I?"

"What you mean the fact you're having a baby with Edward Cullen, famous movie star?" She is smirking at me and wiggling her eye brows. God, she is loving this.

"Yes Jess, exactly that. I don't want screaming hordes or the paparazzi camped outside my house tomorrow."

"My lips are sealed. On one condition," She looks at me shrewdly.

"Okay, name your price." I wonder what her silence is going to cost me.

"You, me and Ang, as soon as he's gone home, girl's night and you spill the beans, and I'm talking the X-rated version, not the PG-13 crap you've fobbed me off with so far."

I laugh, "Okay, I'll give you a few more details, but somethings are private, okay?"

"Spoil sport!" she laughs as I disappear out the room.

I join Edward out in the reception where Ang is stood talking to him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her puzzled.

"How do you think he knew where to find you?" she replies, nodding her head at Edward. "I found him sat on your door step looking sorry for himself. I hope you don't mind that I brought him here?"

I look up at Edward and remember the look of awe on his face when he first saw his daughter on the screen. How could I be sorry he'd been able to get that moment.

"Of course not Ang. Thanks."

"I suppose I should go then, we'll catch up later?" She looks at me seeking confirmation that everything is okay and I'm happy to be left alone with Edward.

"It's all fine," I reassure her.

I don't need to tell Ang to not gossip about Edward. She already knows he's my little one's dad and she is not the sort to spread that around.

"I'll leave you to it." She raises her eyebrows and nods towards Edward who's been standing quietly still staring at the picture in his hand. "Bye, Edward." she says as she heads out the door.

As she leaves I turn to Edward.

"Right. I suppose it's time for that talk. You, me in the car now." My voice is busk portraying the fact I'm still piss off at him and I need answers.

…

"You're still mad at me aren't you?" he asks as we get into my old truck.

"You bet, and extremely confused. What's changed since you saw me two weeks ago? Hell, what's changed since your last email?"

"I found out I'm having a child."

"But you found out two weeks ago we're having a baby." Now I'm really confused. Mike said he accidentally told him about the baby. Besides he saw the bump. Hell he even acknowledged it.

"No, Bella. I found out two weeks ago _you_ were having a baby. It was only when I read your last email I realised _I_ was the father of that baby."

"Well who else was it going to be? Mike said he congratulated you on the pregnancy. That usually means you're going to be a dad." I'm getting exasperated now. Nothing is making sense.

"Is that what he told you? He told you that he let me know you were pregnant with my child?" Edward is looking confused now, and also a little pissed off.

"Well yes, and then you ran off." This conversation is getting exasperating very quickly.

"Fuck, no wonder you are mad at me. Beautiful, I'd never do that to you. Shit, and then those emails I sent. Fuck. I really messed up." Edward pulls of his beanie and starts to pull on his hair. "I'm sorry Bella, but your friend lied to you. Is he your boyfriend?"

Edward fails to look at me as he asks this last question.

"No, what on earth would give you that idea? He's asked me out a couple times recently, but we're just friends."

"I got that idea because that's what he told me. I saw you together. He had his arm around you. He kissed you. Then when I knocked on the door he told me you two were an item. You had been since you'd got back from Miami, since before you came to LA. It looked like you were living together, and then he told me you were having a baby together."

"He told you all that? He made you believe I'd cheated on you? That this baby wasn't yours?" As Edward nods I see red. Michael Newton had crossed a line. How dare he interfere in my life like this? What gave him the right? That man was going to pay.

"Right," I spat through my teeth, "That little bastard. How dare he. When I get my hands on him…"

As I'm muttered away to myself about all the horrible things I'd like to do to Mike Newton and his genitalia I start up the car and leave the clinic.

"Are you okay, Bella? Where are we going?" asks Edward.

"No, I'm not okay, and I'm going to make Mike Newton pay. He owes me an explanation and boy is he going to give me one." My face and body is tense and I can feel my blood boiling. God help anyone who gets in my way. I was hell fire and it was going to rain down on that deceitful little toad.

It doesn't take me long to reach the Newton's store and Edward is silent the rest of the way. I imagine he has picked up on my mood. My tight jaw and clenched fists probably speak volumes. As soon as I've parked, I'm out the car and storming towards the open doors. I know Mike is most likely to be working the register or be in his office. As I marched across the car park I am vaguely aware of Edward's door opening and closing and the sound of his footsteps following me, but I'm not paying it much attention. I am focused on my goal.

The first person I encounter is Mike's brother, Sam. Now Sam and I usually get on really well and he's done a lot of work for me on my truck, so as I stroll past the entrance to his garage he waves. "Hi Bella, what brings you by today, your trucks not playing up again?" He sounds friendly, but I'm not in the mood for friendly.

"Where is he Sam, where's Mike?"

Sam is quick to pick up on my mood and he answers me hastily. "He's out back in the office. Are you okay Bella?"

"No, Sam, I'm not." I don't offer him any more explanation than that and he's wise enough not to ask.

I decide to get to the office through the garage, rather than have to pass though the store. It's a much more direct route.

"Mike Newton!" I almost screech as I reach the door of the office.

"Bella! What a nice surprise. Are you okay?" Mike looks up from his work and stands to move towards me.

"You complete and utter low life. How dare you. Did you think I'd never find out? Did you think if I had no other options the poor pathetic little single mum would come running into your arms? Well I've got news for you, you never stood a chance and you certainly never will now."

"What the hell are you talking about Bella?" Mike looks genuinely confused, then I see him glance over my shoulder and his eyes go wide. I look back and see Edward standing there with an expression on his face, that I'm sure is similar to mine. His eyes seem to have a fire in them and there is a visible tension to his jaw and in his body.

"Oh!" says Mike and his face tells me all I need to know. He's as guilty as sin.

"Oh! In fucking deed! Have you any idea how evil, how cruel, what you did is? Not only were you depriving his man of knowing his daughter, but you were depriving my daughter of knowing her father. She was going to have to grow up believing he didn't want her, he didn't love her. For once Mike, put yourself in someone else's shoes. Do you not see how selfish what you did was? Think of the anguish and hurt you caused and were going to cause in the future. If I thought it would hurt you more than me I'd punch you now. I never want to see you again. Ever. You are no longer welcome at my house."

"But Bella, be reasonable. I thought it was for the best. You know we should be together. We're meant for each other. We could be so happy, and the kids get on so well. Think of Paul and Kim. They're best friends." He is pleading with me, walking towards me with his hands out in a placating gesture.

"And I thought we were friends," I almost spit at him, "but friends don't do that to each other Mike. They don't lie and cheat and go behind each other backs."

I turn away to leave, having said all I want to ever say to Mike Newton. But then one last thing crosses my mind. He hurt me, so I intend to hit him where it hurts. I look around and see that all Sam's mechanics are watching and taking in the show. I look Edward in the eye and then turn back to Mike.

"Oh, and Mike, for the record. I would have never gone with you. Jess has given me all the details on your skills, or lack thereof, in the bedroom and believe me there is no way I'm settling for your mediocre offerings in that department."

That's right, hit him where it hurts.

I turn and storm back past Edward and through the garage to my car with my head held high. As I pass several of the mechanics are smirking and some seem to be ready to bust out laughing. For a second Sam looks like he wants to high five me, but thinks better of it. "Go girl," he quietly throws my way with a cheeky wink. It seems he doesn't disapprove of my rant.

Back in my car, I take a deep cleansing breath. It felt good to let go of my anger like that. The adrenaline is still coursing through my veins and I'm on an endorphin high. I feel like I could climb a mountain or swim an ocean. It feels good.

Edward climbs into the passenger seat and I look across at him. "I'm still mad at you too," I tell him, "You should have stuck around to hear my side of the story. How could you think I'd do that to you? And your emails were so cold. There was no need for that."

"I know and I'm sorry Bella. I was hurt and I lashed out, but you're right. I was really struggling to reconcile the woman I'd met with the one he painted and I should have believed my heart and not him."

"You're right you should."

I sit for a moment taking deep breaths, trying to bring my emotions under control. I look across at Edward and see he's biting his lower lip studying me with a look in his eye, one I recognise from my last day in LA.

"What?" I ask, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"God, you're sexy when you're angry. The way you went for it in there. The passion. The fire. I bet you'd have great make up sex."

I sigh, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath letting my head fall forward onto my hands, which have been gripping the steering wheel this whole time.

"What am I going to do with you? I can't stay mad at you for a moment. Especially when you look like that." I look across at his sexy smirk. God I want this man and with the hormones and the adrenaline surging through me sex would be really good right now. I contemplate it for a minute.

"Fuck, I'd love to jump you now CM," I confess, "but I think we need to talk."

"I know. But one day I'm going to get you mad, just to see that look on your face and just so I can get passionate, flame filled make up sex with you." He gives me his sexy smirk and I feel a thrill run through my body.

"So you'd deliberately do something to piss me off, just to get make up sex?" I'm incredulous.

"God, yeah, that sex is going to be so good, and you know it." The sexy lopsided smirk is now out in full force.

"Pretty sure of yourself aren't you? There's no guarantee you're getting sex from me ever again. Look what happened last time." I indicate my expanding belly.

"Oh, I'm having sex with you again. It's just a matter of when, and you know it." And I do. How could I not. When he makes me feel like this with just a look. I know I can't resist him for long.


	24. Chapter 24 - The Make Up

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 24 – The Make Up**

I drive Edward back to my house. We make some small talk on the way, but I'm sure we both know we are just avoiding the big issues.

Once we are both sat on the living room sofa, coffee in hand, a silence descends. I really don't know where to start with sorting out our mess, and it would appear he doesn't either.

"So, how have you been keeping? Has the pregnancy been going well?" He's the first to break the silence. "I want to know everything about it, Bella." He looks at me as he talks and I can see the sincerity in his eyes.

"I've had no major problems. Jess is really happy with how things are going. It's been very similar to my other pregnancies, not much morning sickness, just really tired in my first trimester. For now I've got my energy back, but I know I'll start to feel exhausted again in the next few weeks as I get bigger."

He watches me, taking in every word. "The ultrasound earlier was amazing. I've never experienced anything like that. Suddenly it all seemed so real. I'm so glad I got to be there. And to find out we're having a little girl. Wow. I mean just, wow!"

He gets a far off look in his eye and I see his eyebrows draw together. "I can't believe I nearly missed out on all of this. Thank you for coming to find me, for contacting me. It scares me to think you could be doing this all alone, that you nearly had my baby without me knowing. God I could kill that Mike."

"Don't worry, between me and Jess he's going to soon wish he was dead," I say.

"Jess?" He asks.

"Doctor Stanley, who you met today. She's a really good friend of mine. She also happens to be Mike's ex-wife." I watch for his reaction as I give this news.

"So…. Your doctor is also your good friend, and your boyfriend's ex-wife? This is all a bit weird."

I roll my eyes. "It's a small town, Edward, everyone is someone's ex. But Mike is not and never will be my boyfriend." As I say the words I realise they are not strictly true and my face must portray my realisation.

"What aren't you telling me here?" he asks.

I know I have to come clean. "Okay, so Mike is just a friend, right? And that is all he has been since I came back. In fact before that I'd not seen or heard from him since I left Forks twenty-one years ago." Fuck, twenty-one years! Is it really that long? Shit, Edward's not much older than that is he? I realise my mind is wandering and bring my thoughts back to the subject in hand. "But he's not always just been a friend. We dated in high school, but split up when we left for college."

I try to read the emotions on Edwards face, but he's not showing much, although as I watch I notice a slight tension creeping into his jaw. He seems to ponder my words. "So you have slept with that fucker? Why do I feel an intense need to go and punch his lights out? It's not like this happened recently, or since I've known you. Shit. I should have hit him earlier when I had the chance."

"Are you coming over all possessive on me CM?"

"I've never been the jealous, possessive type, beautiful. These feelings are new to me. But I need to know, are there any other ex's I'm likely to meet around this town whose ass I might need to kick?"

"Not many, not around here at least," I reply.

He looks at me obviously pondering my words and how to take them.

"So does that mean you don't have many ex's or you do but they don't live around here?"

"Is this really the time to discuss this?" I think it's best to steer him away from this topic. It seems to be riling him up. If I'm honest I also want to distract him because the look in his eye, the one that says he wants to own me, to make me his, to protect me against all others, is doing things to my libido. Damn my pregnancy hormones. I'm sure it's them to blame for my palpable desire to rip his clothes off now, or could it just be the way his t-shirt is clinging to the contours of this chest. Don't they know I'm still mad at him? That possessiveness is not a desirable trait? But, fuck, at this moment I want to be possessed by this man.

"Besides," I continue, "I was with Jacob for the last twenty years of my life, and you're the only one I've been with since then."

The possessive look in his eyes doesn't diminish and I find myself squirming under his gaze. "I know I have no right to feel this way, but I'm so fucking glad to hear that," he says.

I swallow as he reaches a hand out and pushes a stay piece of hair back behind my ear. He continues to run his hand down the side of my face, down my neck and onto my shoulder. I look in his eyes and the hunger is there. The same hunger I kept getting glimpses of in LA.

"Only me," he says, softly.

I swallow, entranced by his eyes, unable to pull away. But I can't let this continue. I need to know where I stand, where he sees us going. I have responsibilities. Talking of which it must be nearly school pick up time.

"I've got to pick my kids up soon." I mumble and look down from him mesmerising gaze, desperate to regain some control. Control over my body, over my emotions, over the situation.

He pulls back from me, the moment broken.

"We'll have to continue this later," he says, and I look up to catch his sexy smirk, and I feel my muscles clench at the implications of his words.

"How long are you around? Where are you staying?" I ask.

His brow furrows. "I can stay till the end of the week. Then I'm due to be in Vancouver for a couple of months on my next movie, before heading back to LA to wrap up the final studio shots."

Shit, that doesn't give us long. But Vancouver's not that far away. I know nothing about filming movies, but he must get some time off right?

"When is the baby due?" He looks concerned.

"May 20th," I say and look at him tentatively, "Do you want to be there?" I'd like him to be, but I'm not sure what he's likely to be doing around that time. There is nothing like seeing your child come into the world. I also know the calming influence he can have on me. It would be nice to have that in the delivery room.

He gets a look on his face, like he's trying to puzzle something out. Then he pulls his phone out and starts to scroll through it, mumbling incoherently to himself as he does so.

"Edward?" I ask.

He looks up at my puzzled face. "Sorry, I was just checking my schedule. I need to talk to my agent. At the moment I'm free around then, but I'm due to be doing some promotional work soon after that I'll need to get out of or reschedule. I don't want to meet my daughter and then disappear for a couple weeks. I don't want to miss out on anything."

"So, this means you want to be there? You know, for the birth?" I clarify

"Bella, I want to be there for everything. For the Birth, for the doctor's appointments, for every little milestone in her life. I want to be there for her…. for you." He looks so sincere, like this is the most important thing ever, and I know it is for me, but hearing he feels the same melts my heart.

"I know I have some commitments I can't get out of, but, please believe me, if I could I'd drop it all and be by your side constantly. No location filming, no international film promotion tours, no returning to LA even. I want to be here to experience every moment of this with you. It's breaking my heart to know I have to leave at the end of the week to start filming. But I'm going to do everything I can

to spend as much time here with you as I can."

"Thank you," is all I can think of to say to his declaration.

He glances at his own watch. "You said you needed to get your children from school?"

I glance at my watch too. "You're right. I'll drop you round at Mr. Webber's guest house on the way so you can get settled in. It's the best place for you to stay in town."

Hotel accommodation in Forks is limited. It really comes down to a choice between the lodge, the slightly out of town 'Forks Motel', and Mr. Webber's. The lodge is usually really busy and the receptionist is Jess's mom, who is a worse gossip then she ever was. The motel is a bit basic. The guest house, owned and run by Angela's dad, Mr. Webber, after he retired from his role as our local pastor, is small and friendly, and I know Mr. Webber can be relied on to be discrete.

"Guest House?" he raises an eyebrow, "So I can't staying here?" He gives me his sexy playful smirk and I'm this close to saying he can stay. But I have to think of the kids. I need to introduce them to Edward and let them know who he is. Having a man who is a stranger stay in the house, even if I convince him to stay in the spare room (which if he's here late at night I'm not sure I could do), is not a step I'm willing to take yet. They have to be my first priority, not my lonely bed situation, despite how his pouty look is currently affecting me.

"I'm sure you'd prefer to not be woken up at six by my kids jumping on top of you," I smile, "In all seriousness though, I need to let them know who you are, introduce you to them properly." It's been a tough year for them. I know they are excited about getting a new sister, but when they realise she has a dad who is around and they don't… well, I'm not so sure how they are going to take it.

"Of course, I understand, and I can't wait to meet them. But you also need to understand that I've missed you. Having you this close but not being about to cuddle up to you at night like we did back in LA is going to kill me."

"You missed me?" I ask.

"Why do you think I showed up here before Christmas? I've not been able to stop thinking about you. I decided that all your excuses were invalid and that I wanted you in my life, in any way you would take me, even if it was only as a friend."

I look down at my hands, hardly able to believe he was missing me too.

"I missed you as well," I admit quietly. "So even without the baby, you'd want to be part of my life?" I look up at him through my lashes.

"God yes. Just ask Alice or Jasper. I've been hell these last few months. I think if I'd not come to find you when I did Alice would have been up here instead dragging you back to LA." I giggle as I imagine Alice doing just that.

"I love that sound," he says, lifting my chin to look at him. Then he surprises me by planting a big kiss right on my lips, before pulling back, standing up and pulling me up from the sofa also.

"Come on, you need to show me to this guest house you are making me stay at before you go and do your mommy duties." His voice is teasing and there is a wicked glint in his eyes. He knows exactly what he's doing to me and it's playing dirty. I just shake my head at him. I can resist him, I can. I lead him out of the house to my truck, where I notice a large black rental SUV next to the curb.

"Is that yours?" I ask.

"Yep," he replies.

"In that case, you should follow me over to Mr. Webbers place." I get in my truck that is still just about running due to some cleaver work by Sam, and start it up, waiting for him to be ready before I pull out into the street.

It's only a short drive to the Webber's. As I pull up outside the large house I spot Mr. Webber's car in the parking lot, but no others. It looks like it might be a quiet week. I get out and Edward follows. I notice him slip on a beanie hat, as if this is likely to disguise him. Doesn't he know he's better known for wearing that then for going without? I look up and down the street, but it's quiet. I'll have to do a google search later to see if anyone spotted him at the doctors, or the Newton's, earlier.

Mr. Webber comes out to greet us as we walk up to the door.

"Bella, this is a nice surprise, I've not seen you in ages. I've been relying on Ang to keep me up to date with all your news. How are you feeling? Well I hope?" I know he's referring to my pregnancy. It's amazing how often you get asked how you are by people when you're pregnant. Something about a baby makes people want to care, to know everything is going well.

"All is fine, Mr. Webber. Progressing nicely." I smile widely at him. He and his wife have always been kind to me, and made the best breakfasts when I slept over at Angela's as a child. "I've bought you a guest. Edward is visiting unexpectedly from out of town and he needs a bed for a few nights."

Mr. Webber puts out his hand to shake Edward's. "Well any friend of Bella's is a friend to the Webbers. Come in and let's get you settled."

There is no hint of recognition in his eyes and I realise he has no idea who Edward is and it makes me chuckle as we follow him into the small guest house.

"Now, you're my only guest tonight, but I have Mrs. Thompson checking in tomorrow for a week. She prefers the Blue room, so I can put you in the green room at the front." He starts to go through his spiel about timings for breakfast and how the keys work to open the front door if he gets back late. As he talks I drift off, my mind wandering over everything that's happened today and all that Edward has said. I watch as he signs the register and hands over his credit card to Mr. Webber. A couple days ago I thought this man was out of my life for good, and here he stands, looking as handsome as ever. I realise it feels good, it feels right, to have him here. I regret having to make him stay in the guest house. I'd dearly like to wake up with his arms around me tomorrow morning. I've missed his arm around me, the feel of his breath on my neck, his obvious morning wood making its presence known. I remember how he would pepper kisses against my shoulder and squeeze me tight.

"I saw Angela earlier," Mr. Webber breaks into my day dream. "She said she'd called around to see you, Bella, but you were busy so I got a visit instead." He turns to Edward, "I suppose I've got you to thank for actually seeing my daughter for once?" His lips are turned up in a smile that crinkles the lines around his eyes and we both realise he is joking. I know Angela sees him often.

"So she filled you in on all the gossip?" I waggle my eyebrows at him.

"Now, you know my Ang isn't one to gossip, but she did say you'd had some good news," he looks across at Edward, "and she kept grinning like the cat that got the canary." As he speaks he winks at me.

He starts to come around the desk to lead Edward up to his room. As he passes he leans into me and whispers in a conspiratorial style. "It's good to see you smiling too. You deserve a bit of happiness, and if he brings it then he's got my approval."

I glance at Edward and see him wearing the largest smirk and I realise he heard Mr. Webber.

I leave Edward to get settled into his room, promising to call him later, once the kids are in bed, so we can fix up to meet tomorrow. We still have lots to sort out, but now I need to go and be a mom.

…..

I pick the kids up from school and we all go to the dinner for ice-cream with Jess and Paul where I tell them they are getting a little sister.

"A sister?" squeals Kim. "I'm going to have a sister? Can I do her hair and teach her everything she needs to know? Can she come to school with me? Will she play with my toys?" She is obviously pleased with the outcome. I look at Jared and Embry. I know they were hoping for a boy. "You okay, boys?"

Jared looks up at me and nods his head. "Yeah, that's okay. I'll just have to make sure she's a tomboy, not like Kim. I'll teach her to ride a bike and to climb trees and play with cars."

I smile. "That's the attitude. Besides, this family can only cope with one Kim." I tease as I give them both a squeeze in my arms, "I'm sure this little one will be different and unique in her own way."

Embry just shrugs his shoulders, feigning indifference. I swear that boy acts more like a teenager every day.

Ice-cream takes a while as Kim has an intolerance for anything too hot or cold, so gets her chocolate ice-cream in a bowl and mixes it until it melts before drinking her 'chocolate soup'. This used to drive the boys and me mad, but we've come to tolerate Kim's eccentric ways. No amount of cajoling, persuading, yelling, coaxing, bribing or even threatening will change her. Kim is an individual who will do things her way.

It gives Jess and I some time to talk as she finishes, whilst my boys go off to play the old fashioned pin ball machine, taking Paul with them. The younger boy idolises my two older ones and will follow them anywhere.

I fill Jess in briefly on what went down with Mike and Edward, but we speak a lot in code knowing little ears are listening. Kim can give a very good impression of being in her own world, and then later recite back to you your full conversation.

I promise Jess once again we will get together for a girls night once Edward has left so she and Ang can get all the unedited gossip. I run a quick text off to Ang to ensure she is available this weekend, whilst Jess lets Mike know he's babysitting, not voicing it as a request but a demand. Ang is quick to reply and informs me she already had Ben on standby. Mike phones Jess back to protest about the short notice and claims he has plans. She cuts him off quickly.

"Now just you stop right there, Michael Newton. My best friend has just found out another good friend of hers, namely you, is a dirty lying no good…." I see her searching for a child friendly expletive, "…scoundrel. Now if she needs a little time to chill with her friends I will not have you standing in her way. Do I make myself clear? Remember we're having lunch at your parents this Sunday. I would hate for your mum to hear about what you've been up to. You know how she feels about Bella."

She's right Mrs. Newton loves me, almost as much as she loves Jess, and would hate that her son has unset me. Mrs. Newton is not a woman to be messed with and it seems the threat of her is enough to keep Mike in line and he quickly agrees to be available. It's reassuring to know Jess is going to make his life hell.

….

The rest of the afternoon is spent with the kids and I trying out different girls names. Some are ridiculous and have us in fits of laughter, some are not too bad. I know this is something Edward and I will ultimately have to decide between us, but it's fun to find out what they do and don't like. As I think about Edward, I decide I should tell my kids about him and let them know he is in town. I'm a little concerned about how they will react. Will they resent the baby having its dad around? Will they worry he is going to disrupt our lives?

I sit them down on the sofa as we approach their bed time. They are already changed and have brushed their teeth, all that remains is our usual evening chat and stories before I tuck them in and kiss them goodnight.

"So, someone came to visit me today," I start.

"Who mom?" asks Embry, looking puzzled, obviously picking up on my serious tone.

I smile at him reassuringly before I continue. "His name is Edward and he is the man I met in LA. He's the baby's daddy." I watch their expressions carefully. "He's going to be in town for the next few days and I thought you should meet him. You see he'd like to be a part of your little sisters life and to get to know her, which means he will be a part of your lives, and he is just as keen to get to know you too."

"What's he like, mommy?" asks Kim.

"He's a lovely man, sweetheart," I say putting my arm around her. "He's very kind and funny. He's an actor in movies. You know how you like to put on shows for mommy, well I reckon he'd be a great help with that." Kim's current obsession is to put together little performances for me and her brothers to watch. Sometimes she acts it out alone, other times her toys take starring roles. She's tried to recruit her brothers in as actors, but they've so far resisted, not wanting to be bossed around by her.

Jared is sitting very quietly as I talk, pondering what I've said. He is a very sensitive boy and I know he needs a little time to digest this development. Embry is looking pensive too and giving me a curious look.

"An actor called Edward?" he asks with a rise of his eyebrows.

"That's right," I clarify. "Edward Cullen."

He gives me a small look of surprise, but doesn't say anything else. He knows the name, but the two younger ones don't seem to.

"So, do you think you'd like to meet him tomorrow?" I ask them all. "He can come round here, or we could take him to the park to play a little ball."

Jared looks up at me. "At the park. I think we should meet him at the park." It would seem my son wants to meet him on neutral territory.

"Okay Big Boy, the park it is, tomorrow after school. Does that suit you Embry?"

He shrugs. Seems he's not convinced yet either.

"Can we go to bed now?" Jared asks, obviously wanting to have a little time alone to contemplate this development further.

"No problem, why don't you go and read your book whilst I tuck Kim in, then I'll be in to see you." This is our usual routine and works well for us, giving me a little time alone with each of my children at the end of the day. I finish up with Embry, who I usually find practicing on the keyboard he keeps in his room, or his guitar.

Recently Embry and I have started to open up more to each other, but sometimes he's obviously not in the mood and I let him express his emotions through his music. I've learnt over the past few months that when he's ready he'll come and talk to me.

Once Kim is tucked in she explains to me that she thinks Edward must be a nice man, because he's a friend of mine and all my friends are nice. I smile and give her a huge hug. I know she is likely to act shy initially in front of Edward tomorrow, but she is usually quick to come out of her shell and she seems to have decided to give him a try.

I then move on to face my Jared. I find him lying in his bed staring at the celling. "What you thinking about Champ?"

"Daddy."

His face looks so sad and I see a tear escape down his cheek. I go and sit next to him, stroking one hand through his hair.

"I miss him too. I think we always will."

"But the baby has a new daddy. It's not fair. I want my daddy, and she gets to have hers and I don't get mine." I know exactly where he's coming from and it's not fair.

"I know Champ. I wish I could bring him back for you. All I can promise is to always be here for you."

"Will the baby's daddy be our daddy too?" he asks.

"No, son. Your daddy will always be your daddy. For now Edward is just a friend."

I lie down next to Jared and just hold him as he quietly sobs. It's so hard to see him sad like this, but I know I can't make it right. We will both have times when we just need to be sad, and that's okay.

After a while I feel him relax and I know he's gone to sleep. I gently unwind myself from him and, giving him a gentle kiss and an 'I love you,' I slip out of his room.

Embry is on his guitar, listening to the output through his headphones, when I enter his room so I stand and watch him for a while. He shows such concentration. As he plays different emotions flash across his face and his strumming speeds up and slows down as his emotions change. I wonder what he's thinking, knowing he's working through his emotions in the way that works best for him. Eventually he spots me and takes off his headphones to talk.

"That seemed very emotional," I start. "Anything you want to talk about?"

He shrugs again. I sigh and go down to sit next to him on the bed, putting my hand on his shoulder. "Well you know I'm here if you want to talk."

I think he's going to remain silent, but as I go to get up he starts. "I just worry he's going to hurt you."

I sit back down and wait for him to continue.

"What if he goes away and you're all alone again. I don't what you to be like you were after dad died."

He looks up at me with his soulful eyes that remind me so much of Jake's. "You were so sad back then," he continues, "I know you didn't what us to know, but you're room is right next door to mine."

I'd tried to hide my anguish from my kids so much. The only place I let it come out was in the dead of the night, in my room, when they were asleep, or at least I thought they were asleep. "You heard me when I got upset at night?" I ask, horrified I'd not protected my son as I'd thought.

He shrugs, "the walls are thin and I wasn't sleeping well either. Besides, you've been better since you went to LA."

"I wish you'd come to me, I wished you'd talked to me. I could have helped to make things better," I say.

He looks at me with eyes that seem older than his years. "That goes both ways, mom."

I pull him into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry," I say simply. It breaks my heart that he'd been worried about me.

"Mom?" he asks, whilst still buried in my embrace, "Was it Edward who helped you to feel better. After LA you didn't seem to get the nightmares anymore. You seemed much better."

"It was," I reply.

"Then I think we should give him a go. If he makes you happy like that, then I think he must be okay."

"I love you, son." I mutter and he returns the sentiment before I leave him to go sort out the house for the next day.


	25. Chapter 25 - Really Making Up

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 25 – Really Making Up**

Later that night I'm restless. I've tried to watch TV, but nothing is holding my attention. I've tried to read a book, but I keep having to read the same sentence over and over again. The internet is equally failing to grab my attention.

I keep wondering around the house, looking for something to do, something to occupy my brain, but I keep coming up short. I wander into the kitchen for at least the fifth time that night and open the fridge. No, same stuff there as last time, nothing interesting has happened. I hate evenings on my own. I start to open draws haphazardly, not sure what I expect to find. Yep, plates, saucepans, glasses, all where you'd expect them to be. Ohhh, wine. I love wine.

I've haven't had a drink since I found out I was pregnant. When I was pregnant the other three times I would allow myself the odd half glass every now and then, but not this time. I think it's got something to do with the guilt I feel for the drinking I did before I realised I was pregnant. With the others I'd been trying to get pregnant and so had really cut back on the alcohol and I found out really early on I was pregnant. With this one I was drinking right up till six weeks. I also feel bad I was late getting on the pregnancy vitamins. I've missed out on all the folic acid that is supposed to be beneficial to the baby's healthy development. Yep, I've got lots to feel guilty about, so I suppose the least I can do is behave now.

But the wine calls to me. I have a lovely red in here that has been waiting for a special occasion. This is a special occasion isn't it? And one little half glass won't do any harm, will it? I get the bottle out and look at it. Then before I even think I have it open, a glass out and half filled. Well, if I'm going to do this, I'd better enjoy it. I take my guilty pleasure back to the sofa and get myself comfortable. I bring the glass up to my nose and take a big sniff. Ummmm, divine. A myriad of smells hit me. I've never been a big wine connoisseur. I wouldn't know where to start in describing this wine properly, but to me it smells of log fires and warm blankets. It is a smell that brings back memories of great meals with Jake and our friends. It especially reminds me of a trip we made to South Africa before we had the kids. We were sat out on the deck in front our hotel room overlooking a steep valley covered in grape vines. We'd been on a tour that day, sampling different wines from the local vineyards and now we were watching the sunset whilst enjoying a bottle we'd purchased earlier. It was a happy memory and I let the smells bring it all back. Then it hits me. I need company to enjoy this wine.

I pull out my phone.

 _ **I'm getting high smelling red wine. I need someone to come over and tell me how it tastes before I give in and drink it myself. - B**_

I don't have to wait long for a response.

 _ **Are you getting drunk, Beautiful? I didn't think that was allowed? – E**_

 _ **What are you the pregnancy police? – B**_

I quickly follow it up to put his mind at rest.

 _ **Don't worry. I'm only smelling it. – B**_

 _ **Is someone missing wine? – E**_

 _ **God yes! – B**_

 _ **So are you coming over to drink this bottle of rather expensive wine I've just opened or are you going to force me to pour it all down the sink? If I have to pour it away, I will cry. It's a lovely bottle and smells so good. – B**_

 _ **You don't need to ask me twice. I'm on my way. – E**_

 _ **Do you want me to describe to you the smell? Get you in the mood? – B**_

 _ **Don't worry beautiful. I'm always in the mood when I'm with you. – E**_

Oh boy, this man is going to kill me.

 _ **You should be driving by now. You can't text and drive. Move faster or I will drink it. – B**_

 _ **Resist, Beautiful, resist. I'm starting the car now. See you in five. – E**_

I put the phone down smiling and go pour him a glass. It's a little fuller than mine. Well he does have a whole bottle to get through.

True to his word, it is only just over five minutes when I hear his car pull up outside. I go to the door, wine glass in hand and stand there waiting for him. The first thing I notice about him as he gets out the car and bounds towards me is the playful grin on his face and I can't help grinning back. It really is good to see him. As he reaches me I hand him the glass. "You get this on the understanding you describe to me the taste. If I can't drink it myself you have to be my taste buds and let me experience it through you."

"You could always taste it on my tongue later," he says with his sexy smirk.

"Don't push your luck," I say as I let him into the house and follow him through to the lounge, my head full of thoughts of his tongue and the taste of wine in his mouth as I devour him. Damn pregnancy hormones and sexy ass men. Talking of which, look at that ass in those jeans? That should be illegal.

I watch as he sits himself at one end of the couch and I resume my previous position at the other end, picking up my glass and taking a deep lungful from it. I close my eyes and let the air out in an appreciative moan.

"So this is what you've been doing this evening? Making sex noises to a glass of red wine?"

My eyes fly open. "Sorry," I mumble.

He smiles and turns towards me. "So, how am I supposed to do this? Do I just take a sip and describe the taste?"

"You don't have to really. I've had this wine before. I know the taste well. The smell is enough. It brings back a lot of memories."

"When did you last have this wine?" he asks.

"It was on my Birthday. Jake bought a few bottles, this being the only one to still survive, and we drunk it whilst talking late into the night. The next day we were both tired and had hangovers. We ended up declaring a movie marathon day. We had to endure hours of Disney 'fun', but it was better than having to run around and be active. We even managed to sneak off in shifts and have a nap. We tried to hide it but Embry called us on it. I remember the look of disgust that we'd got drunk and were now suffering from it, until I got indignant and told him it'd been my birthday and he got to eat cake until he was sick on his birthday so I could drink too much wine on mine. I've a nasty feeling my argument may come back to bite me on the bum when he's older and uses the excuse on me."

I realise I'm smiling as I tell my story. Edward has been watching me intently, sipping absentmindedly on his wine.

"It's a lot easier now isn't it?" he asks.

I know exactly what he's referring to. A memory like that when I'd first met Edward would have had me bawling my eyes out with grief at my loss.

"You're right, it is easier to talk about him; to remember him. You reminded me that I don't have to lose those memories. I can keep them and remember the good times, without it being tainted by my grief. Thank you, for all you did for me in that week."

"I just helped you to reach where you were headed anyway," he says.

"No, Edward. I'm so much more confident now than I ever was. I'm more at peace with who I am. That is because of you," I tell him.

Smiling he scoots closer and picks up my hand, running his fingers softly over my wrist. "I just helped you to see what was there all along. What your friends see, hell, what even that fucking Mike sees."

"Shhh. His name is banned." I scowl playfully at him. "But seriously, thanks." I look down and run my hand over my belly. "And thanks for this." I look up at his eyes. "When I first found out, I was scared. I didn't know what to do and for a while, I thought it would be a bad thing. But then I realised no child is a bad thing. If she gives me even half the joy that my other three have, then I will be blessed."

"I should be thanking you. You're giving me this great gift. The opportunity to be a dad, and hopefully the opportunity to be a part of your life." He looks at me with such hope and those eyes pull me in again. I so want him to be part of my life, and I know with the baby he always will be, but I want him to be more than just my baby's daddy. I want him to be there for me and me for him. I want to wake up next to him. I want to sit with him in the evenings, reading books or watching TV. I want to be the one he comes home to, the one who complains about him leaving his dirty socks on the bedroom floor, the one who helps him stack the dishwasher and the one he makes love to in the evening once we've put the kids to bed together. In short, I want it all. But it's too soon to tell him this.

So I answer him not with words, but by allowing my hand to come up and cup his jaw before I lean in and plant a soft, chaste kiss on his lips. The kiss lingers for a few seconds, and as promised I can taste the wine on his lips. Being so close I can smell the mixture of his cologne and the pure essence of my cocktail man. It's a heady scent and one that takes me right back to his house and to the beach where we first talked. Images of me nuzzling into his neck and breathing him in flood my mind. As I pull away I'm so tempted to go back for more, but I just want to savour this moment. My eyes are closed as I remember all the good times with this man. I wait, a small smile tugging the corner of my mouth gently upwards. I feel the back of his knuckles brush gently over my cheek and his breath fans out over my face and I breathe it in. The smell of the wine on his breath mixes with the smell of him, making me feel light headed.

"Beautiful." The word is a whisper, barely there. I let my head fall forward until my forehead rests against his. Then I feel his lips move forward till they are once again joined with mine. It is so soft, like he is afraid I'll break, but this time we linger a little longer and I feel his lips start to move against mine and I find I'm reciprocating. The feeling is divine. I hear him swallow before I feel the very tip of his tongue gently brush against my lower lip. The kiss is still so light, but I'm starting to get lost in it. My lips part and I feel his tongue meet mine.

Our gentle movements begin to get a little more inflamed. An urgency starts to develop. My lips push a little harder against his, looking for more. He returns the pressure and then gently bites down on my lower lip before pulling it sensuously into his mouth. My breathing is becoming laboured and it feels like my heart is starting to pound in my chest making my blood soar though my veins, heating me, making every part of me tingle. I have to touch him. My hands find the back of his head and I twist my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer.

He seems just at swept up in the moment as I am. With one hand he holds my neck, whilst the other wraps around me pulling me towards him till I'm sat on his lap. Having him so close, feeling the hardness of his chest against my breasts just drives me on to want more. My hands leave his hair and start to venture under his t-shirt.

I need to feel his skin, preferably naked body to naked body. I grab the bottom of his shirt and pull it up. The greatest tragedy is that I have to break the kiss to pull it over his head, but we are apart for the briefest of time, during which my eyes don't leave him. I feel I want to devour him, to make him mine.

"Your turn," he mumbles against my lips before pulling my t-shirt over my head also. Then his body is against mine and I can't get enough. But I still want more. Before I know it my bra is off and I'm really unsure who undid it, me or him. Then my breast is in his mouth. My mouth yearns the loss of him, but not for long as the sensations of his tongue against my already sensitive nipple is overwhelming.

"You better not stop now. I need you. I want you. I need this." I'm not sure if my words are coherent, but they seem to drive him forward. I hear a low growl and then he is standing up, holding me with my legs wrapped around him.

"Bedroom, which way?" he demands before his mouth is once again on mine.

I pull back just enough to answer. "Last door at the end of the hall," I say directing him to the downstairs guestroom, remembering Embry's words about the thin walls upstairs.

He carries me in that direction and I'm too caught up in the moment to worry about him having to carry my weight for this distance. I just need him close to me. God I need him inside me. He gets to the room and kicks the door shut after himself as we go in. Before I can register it, I'm on the bed and he is over the top of me. His hands roam up and down my body. I feel them exploring my body, gently squeezing my breasts, sweeping down across my belly. Then his kisses are moving down my body also. He stops briefly to tease my nipples, before he lays reverent kisses all over my baby bump.

"I'm going to love watching this grow. You are just going to get more and more beautiful," he murmurs.

He sits back and then swiftly pulls down my pants and underwear in one go, leaving me lying naked before him. He kneels between my legs just watching me for a brief moment. "Beautiful," he mutters, before he crawls back up my body and starts to kiss me again.

"Please, I need you," I say as my hands find his belt and start to undo it. But I'm fumbling and taking too long. I don't have the patience for this. I growl in frustration.

He lets out a small chuckle. "Let me." He leans back again. God I hate him going away, but if it means I get him back minus clothes I'm willing to make the sacrifice.

The next thing I know, he is once again hovering above me and he is most definitely naked. By body aches for him and my hips involuntarily flex up to create friction where I need it most.

"Fuck, Bella, I need you," he whispers into my ear.

"Then take me." It's all the answer he needs and I feel him adjusting and moving till he is perfectly lined up with my entrance. I lift my legs and wrap them around him, resting my heels against his toned backside. He pushes back up on his hands as they rest on the bed next to my head and looks down my body to where we are about to be joined. I look down too. Then, as we both watch, he slides slowly, tortuously into me. The feeling as I stretch to accommodate him is like I've entered a whole new world at the same time as it feels like I'm coming home. I hear him let out his breath in a long moan and I look up into his eyes. His eyes rise to meet mine and I see it there, reflected back at me. The want, the longing, the desire and could it possibly be, love?

He leans forward and his lips once again capture mine. As the kiss deepens, he starts to move. Slowly at first, allowing both of us to savour the feeling, but as our passion rises he starts to push faster and harder. I feel the tension start to build in the coil in the centre of my being and I know it's not going to take long for him to make my world shatter. His lips move along my jaw to my neck, sucking, kissing, nipping, devouring. Then he's just below my ear, his tongue caressing that sensitive area he has already learnt sends shivers down my spine.

"You feel so good. This is where I belong." He whispers the words against my skin, the vibrations taking me to the edge, as he pushes into me with two strong strokes that hit every important part, and it is all too much. I let go, my walls convulsing around him and I feel like I'm home.

"Fucking hell, that felt so good. You look so good when you come," I hear him whisper, but I'm still riding out my high and can't form coherent speech. He keeps up his relentless rhythm and I'm not coming down. I'm teetering on the edge, unable to come back from the brink, knowing at any minute I could fall once again. "Oh Beautiful, do you think you can come again?" I'm sure he can feel the tension in my body and I can barely breath as my walls clench, pulling him in with each stroke as I rise up to meet him. Then his mouth is on my breast and I fall for a second time, a jumble of sounds and words issuing from my mouth, and as my world shatters and splitters for the second time I feel one last deep thrust and his body goes stiff against mine as he too finds his release. My legs are wrapped tight around him and I never want to let him go. Both our bodies shake and as we ride out the end of our climaxes together before he collapses against me, spent and exhausted. I continue to hold him, wrapping my arms around him to match my legs. We remain like that for a moment as we both struggle to regain our composure and to get our breathing back under control.

"Fuck, Bella, that was amazing." He pulls back to look at me, still lying partially across my body.

I smile up at him, raising my hand to sweep his hair off his sweaty forehead. "I needed that. Thank you." I look deep into his eyes. "I need you," I clarify.

"I must be squishing you," he says attempting to roll off me, but I like him there and keep a hold of him.

Then a panicked look enters his eyes. "Shit the baby, I'm squishing the baby." He pulls back, rolling to the side.

He looks so scared that I need to reassure him quickly. "It's okay. The baby won't have noticed. Not yet. She's too small still. But give it a couple of months and that position will be out. We'll have to get more adventurous."

"I'm up for that," he says with a smirk. "So there will be other times?"

"Fuck yes. You think I could walk away from this?" I reply.

"You did once." His smile drops and he looks down, his fingers are lying across my belly and I feel him tracing intricate patterns as the worry lines appear on his forehead.

"I know, and I've regretted it every day since. But, we found each other again and this time I'm not letting you go. If it comes to it, I'll hunt you to the end of the earth. I was afraid before. All I could see were the reasons this would fail, why it couldn't work."

"And now?" He looks at me with hope in his eyes.

"Now I see possibilities. I'm still terrified, don't get me wrong, but you are the best thing to have happened to me and I was a fool to think I could walk away from that. Before all I saw were the reasons to go. Now I see a million reasons to stay. I'm not blind to the potential problems…" I ramble on.

"My fame, the press, our age difference. You've made them all clear to me," he interrupts, still sounding a little concerned.

"But what is clear to me now is that they don't matter, or they are not as big as I once thought they were. All that matters is you, me, this baby, and of course those three asleep upstairs."

He looks at me for a moment, continuing to draw shapes on my belly.

"When can I meet them, Bella? You talk about them so much and I almost feel like I know them, but I want to really get to know them. They are a part of you and I want to know every part of you. I know you are naturally cautious, but if I'm going to be part of your life, I'm also going to be part of their lives."

"I told them about you this evening," I reassure him, "and they would like to take you to the park tomorrow after school. Jared is only willing to accept you if you are willing to play some ball with him. It's a boy thing, I think?"

As he takes in my words the way his face lights up is adorable.

"Really? You spoke to them and you want me to meet them? Thank you. Thank you so much for trusting me with your most precious possessions. I won't let you down. I promise, I won't hurt you or them."

He starts to shower me with light kisses all over my face and neck. They are tickly and fun and I'm giggling, finding his joy infectious. But it's not long till his kisses stop being light and tickly, and become lingering and passion filled.

"Feeling up for seconds, CM?" I ask.

"You bet, beautiful. I've been waiting four months for this, I've got a lot of catching up to do."

And play catch up he did. After ensuring his tongue worked its magic on my most sensitive areas, he pulled me on top of him and entered me again. Whilst he watched me move he played with my breasts, muttering words about their increased size. After reaching our mutual climaxes I lay next to him, unable to move, my eyes feeling heavy. He pulled me in close and I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat as it lulled me into a deep sleep.

…..

It is around five thirty the next morning when I suddenly awake and sit bolt upright.

"Shit. Edward, CM, wake up. You've got to go." I look down at his face as he starts to come out of sleep. His arm reaches out and tries to pull me down into his side. "Five more minutes, beautiful, then I'm up for round three," he mutters.

"No, you don't understand. The kids will be up in about half an hour and they will be looking for me. I don't want the first time they meet you to be you in bed with me with morning wood."

His eyes shoot open. "Shit, you're right. So I should go?" It is half statement, half question and I can't help smiling and letting out a small laugh at his confusion. If you're not used to waking up early and having to have your wits about you it can take a little while to get going.

"You're adorable when you've just woken up and you're still not too sure what's going on," I say

He looks at me long and hard. "Do I get a morning kiss at least?" he asks.

"Of course," I reply and I bend down and kiss him. I feel him try to deepen it, but I resisted, well aware my kids could end up waking early. They know they weren't supposed to come and wake me before six, but this doesn't mean they won't be awake.

"We have to be quiet," I tell him, "Kim in particular may already be awake and so you are going to have to sneak out."

"Ohh, I feel like a teenager who has snuck into his girlfriend's room without her parent permission," he says with a mischievous smirk.

"Well it's a very similar situation. Now get dressed and get out."

He starts to leave the bed, but looks back at me. "No regrets, Beautiful?"

I smile at him and bite my lip. "No, no regrets."

He leaves the bed with the widest grin and starts to dress. I do likewise and then show him to the door, grabbing our discarded clothes from the living room as we pass. He lingers on the threshold, holding me close and giving me a long passionate kiss. One that promises more to come. He is just getting into it when we both hear a noise from upstairs and a sleepy voice calls out "Mom?"

"I think that's my cue to leave," he smirks at me.

"It certainly is. I'll text you about meeting up later. You're free this morning once I drop the kids off?"

"What else am I going to do in this town?" I smile at his smart response.

"I'll see you later then," I say with a huge grin as he leans down and pecks me on the lips before sauntering off to his car. I watch him leave, obviously checking him out, before turning back to the house and leaning back against the now closed door just as Kim reaches the bottom of the stairs.

"Mom. You're up," she says.

"I certainly am sweetheart, now who wants breakfast?" I bustle her into the kitchen and begin our usual morning routine. The only difference is today my mind is filled with memories of my CM and I'm wearing a silly grin.

* * *

 **A/N** : I can't read the second paragraph without thinking of ghostbusters – but that's just me. Let me know your thoughts, good or bad. I'd love to know what you think of this little tale.


	26. Chapter 26 - Offspring, Dates and Dads

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

Chapter 26 – Offspring, Dates and Dads

"Mom, Sophia has an Alien. She brought it to school today," says Jared from the back of the car.

"What a real Alien? Like from outer space?" This should be interesting, I think to myself.

"Yeah, it comes from Magic Planet." Magic Planet is a kid's play area in Port Angeles. Things are starting to make more sense.

"Magic Planet huh?" He doesn't elaborate, but he looks thoughtful from my observation of him in the rear view mirror. We are currently on our way to meet Edward at the local park, but Jared seems to have other things on his mind.

"Tell me about the Alien." I push for more details. I know there has to be more to this story.

"Well it has these babies that come out of its head and it has to live in goo," Jared continues.

"Goo? Why does it need to live in goo? Oh wait, is it because it can't breathe our atmosphere?" Inspiration hits me.

"Something like that, but it can come out the goo, but not for long. Only for like half a day or something. And the Alien is all soft and gooey."

"Is it gooey, or is that due to the goo it lives in?"

"It's not a real Alien." Embry decides he wants to show how mature he is. No way he's going to believe in Aliens bought to school by friends.

"It was so real, Embry. I know because it has these babies that come out of it. They kind of come out of its head," retorts Jared.

"That's ridiculous," huffs Embry, looking out the window.

"Shhh, Embry, I want to learn more," I chastise him, "So, Jared, it gives birth to its babies out of its head?" I'm starting to wonder about this Sophia and her Alien toys.

"Yeah. But Sophia didn't have the babies anymore. She gave them away. Now she has to wait two years before it will have any more," he explains. Where do these kid get this stuff from?

"Two years? Well that's a long wait. But in two years the Alien will have more babies?" I need clarification on the reproduction of toy aliens.

"Yeah, but you can't kiss the Alien. That's gross." I look at him and he's pulling a disgusted face. I glance at Embry and he's just looking at his brother like he's the alien.

I laugh. "Well you _can_ kiss lots of things. In fact, you can kiss most things." I try to draw out a lesson about the difference between being able to do something and choosing to do something.

"No you can't. You can't kiss your tongue," he states, as if it's a universally known truth.

"No, probably not." I look in the rear view mirror to see him trying to kiss his own tongue and I start to laugh. "But you can kiss someone else's tongue."

"No you can't. That's gross." He pulls a face that lets me know just how gross he finds this suggestion.

I hear Embry snigger and I laugh even harder. "Oh, Jared, you are so funny. I'm not saying you'd want to kiss someone else's tongue, just that you can do it, that it is possible to do."

Jared isn't drawn into my point. It's much more fun to think of other things you can't kiss. "You can't kiss someone's insides," he continues.

"What you mean like cut them open and kiss them inside? Uhhh, gross," says Embry.

I think I agree with him wholeheartedly on this one.

"See, so you can't kiss everything." Jared has a smug look now. That boy loves to be right.

"So, Sophia kisses her Alien I take it?" I try to draw the conversation back to the original point.

"Yep." There is that look of disgust on his face again.

"And I take it you think this is gross and wouldn't want to do this?"

"No way. It's all gooey and gross."

"Okay, so you don't kiss the Alien, but if Sophia wants to do that then she can." Also good to lean about individual choice, I think as I round the corner towards the park.

"Okay," he agrees, just like that.

And that ends that discussion. A few moments earlier I chuckle to myself. The look on Jared's face at the thought of kissing someone else's tongue. This is definitely a conversation to remember when I catch him making out and sucking the face off his first serious girlfriend.

Then I remember the kissing I've been doing with Edward, both last night and again when he came round this morning. I certainly didn't think his tongue was gross. I'd texted him after dropping the kids off this morning, to let him know I'd be home in ten minutes. I'd not had to wait long for him to reply that he would be waiting for me, and true to his word, as I pulled up outside my house there he was, sat waiting in his rental car. I smiled at the thought that maybe he was as keen to see me as I was him.

We both jumped out our vehicles in synchronization and fell into step together as we walked silently up the front steps. As soon as we were inside, I felt myself being pushed back against the door as his lips found mine and his hands found my waist, pulling me close. I could taste the fresh toothpaste on his tongue as he deepened the kiss. I smiled against him, it was a nice taste, but I preferred the taste of wine on him.

"What are you smirking about, Beautiful?" His lips still brushed against mine as he spoke and I grinned further. His lips started to work across my jaw towards my ear and that sensitive area just below it.

"Keen, aren't we CM?"

"Well, you're mine now, so I'm going to make the most of you," he replied.

"Yours am I? So after one night you're staking your claim? I thought it was customary to at least take a girl on a date first."

He pulled back and looked at me with a very intense serious expression on his face. "If you want me to take you on a date, Beautiful, I will. And if you're not ready yet to be in a relationship with me, then I'll give you time. I know I'm a lot to take on. But please understand that I want you. Every part of you I can get. I would like nothing more than to yell from the roof tops that we're together. That you're mine, and I'm yours. But I also want to protect you from the shit that comes with being with me. I don't want you to be hounded by the press. To feel like you no longer have privacy. To see lies printed about you."

He keeps staring at me with his intense eyes, the ones that pull the truth from me. "So, Beautiful, are you willing to take a risk on me? Can I call you mine?"

"I've already faced up to the fact that once the press gets word of this little one," I gently rub my belly, "I'm going to have to put up with their intrusion. So if I'm going to be linked with you anyway, I may as well get my man too."

"So, does that make you are my, for lack of a better word, girlfriend?" he asks.

"I guess it does CM." I chuckle at the stupid grin that adorns his face and then his lips are on mine again. I can feel the joy behind this kiss, the happiness he is feeling at our new understanding of our relationship. "Mine," he whispers as he pulls back.

"So I suppose we ought to discuss how we go forward?" he says.

"And you need to decide where you're taking me on our date," I reply.

"You're serious about that? You know, if I take you out anywhere we are likely to get spotted and then the cat will be out the bag?"

"Hmmmm, I'm sure we could find somewhere discreet. Use your imagination CM, I'm sure you'll come up with something." I was challenging him I know, but I really fancied doing something in our relationship properly.

…..

We spent the rest of that morning discussing Edward's schedule and when he was going to be free, in between making out like teenagers.

Edward had been lucky with his current commitments and after talking to his agent and publicist it looked like he'd be free from about mid-April all the way through to the end of August, before he started work on a new film in LA.

We parted ways around mid-day, Edward going back to Mr. Webber's and I went to run some errands before collecting the kids for our meeting in the park.

To say I was nervous was an understatement; I could tell the kids were too, especially the boys. Kim was just excited.

As I pull up to a parking space at the park, I look out and see Edward sitting on a bench at the edge of the currently deserted play area. Winter is a quiet time at the park, but that suits us fine.

"Here we are kids. That's Edward just there," I say.

The kids peer out the window at Edward's back and I watch their faces and notice the subtle signs that they are a little anxious. Jared has gone quiet and Kim's brow has furrowed slightly, while Embry is strumming out cords on his thigh.

"Shall we grab the ball and go say hi?" I ask.

Embry just nods before opening his door and jumping out, followed by Jared. I go and help Kim to jump down from the other side.

At the sound of our doors closing, Edward looks around and spots us as we start to make our way towards him. I'm holding Kim's hand after helping her out the car, and I feel Jared come up close to my other side and slide his hand in my free one. I give him a reassuring squeeze and smile down at his anxious face. He's standing slightly behind me, using me as a shield till he feels comfortable with this stranger. Embry is looking full of self-assurance. He has Edward locked in his sights and his shoulders are back, his head held high, looking confident and strong. But the continued fidgeting of his fingers gives away that it is all an act.

Edward comes over to meet us half way and seems a little uncertain how to greet me. I feel the same. If the kids weren't here I'd give him a kiss, but that's not really appropriate so I just smile and make the introductions.

"Embry, Jared, Kim, this is my good friend Edward Cullen. Edward, I'd like to you meet the three most wonderful people on this planet."

I know the introduction is a little over the top, but I feel Jared's chest push against me as he stands up taller as I speak. He loves to hear that he is loved, and I feel this is an appropriate time to reinforce this. They will always be the center of my world.

"Hello, it's good to meet you," Edward smiles broadly. "I got you each a present to say hello and to thank you for allowing me to come and meet you today. They were originally meant as Christmas presents, but I failed to get them to you then, so I thought you'd like them now." He indicates towards the bench he was sitting on where there are two wrapped presents, and leaning against the end a much larger object. Jared and Kim's eyes light up. To them presents are always good.

"Trying to bribe my kid are you, CM? I don't know if I approve of this behavior."

A look of horror passes over Edwards face and he looks up at me. "I'm sorry, I should have checked with you first if a present was appropriate."

I can't keep it in; his face is so worried that he's done the wrong thing. I give a small laugh, breaking the tension. "Hey, I bribe them all the time," I say with a smirk and a wink, "It's either that or blackmail."

"Besides, mommy, it's not bribery because he's just being nice. You're supposed to be nice when you meet new people." Well that's Jared truly putting me in my place!

"Too right, son. Well aren't you going to open your bribes, I mean your 'good to meet you for the first time' presents?"

They need no more encouragement and Jared quickly rips off his paper. Kim is a little more careful and slower. Taking her time to find a good edge to pull and gradually revealing her surprise. Edward watches their different approaches, taking it all in. I see a slight look of worry on his face and I know he is keen to make a good first impression.

"Wow," exclaims Jared, "Look mom, a baseball mitt and ball. And a Mariners shirt. These will be really useful, I need to practice and don't have any kit. Dad was more into football, but my friend, Torban, wanted to do little league this year and I'm joining him. Do you think we could practice now?" He looks at Edward expectantly.

"No problem buddy. I used to play baseball at school when I was young, so I could certainly give you a few pointers," replies Edward smiling.

I beam with joy. Not only because of Jared's positive response, but it didn't go unnoticed by me that he was able to mention his dad without getting upset.

"Kim, what've you got princess?" I ask.

Kim holds up her gift for my approval. It's a beautiful ballet outfit. All pink tutus and frills. There is even a pair of ballet flats with long laces to wrap around her calves. Not the sort of thing I would have bought, far too girly for me, but just right for Kim. I think back over the things I've told him about my kids and realize he has really paid attention and thought about what they would like.

"Mom, these are even better than Shelbies." She puts so much expression into her voice and her eyes go wide as if they are going to pop out of her head. "I can't wait to wear them next lesson. Can I put them on now? Please mom. I won't get them dirty and I'll be extra careful. Pleeeease."

"Well first you have to say thank you to Edward and then perhaps you can put on the tutu in the car, but the shoes are not for outside so they will have to wait till we get home."

"Okay. Thank you, Edward." She surprises us both by giving him a massive hug, the force of which knocks him backwards from his position kneeling down resting on his heels. The two of them end up with Edward lying flat on his back with my daughter draped across his chest, his strong arms stopping her from falling further and hurting herself.

"Kim, get up. He doesn't need you on top of him, he needs to come and play ball with me." Jared moans.

Edward hoists himself up, still keeping hold of Kim, and then lowers her delicately to her feet.

"I like you," she declares, "Do you want to come to dinner? We're probably having fish sticks because mom can never be bothered to cook after we've been to the park, but they're really good if you put them into a sandwich with ketchup."

"That sounds really tempting Kim, but I wouldn't want to put your mom out." He looks towards me for guidance.

"It's no trouble really, she just has to put them in the oven," says Kim.

"Okay, Kim, that's enough bigging up my parenting skill," I interrupt before she can finish selling me as mom of the year.

Throughout this exchange, Embry hasn't said a thing and has been hanging back whilst the two younger ones get all excited. I look at him and nod my head in the direction of the bench. "I think that may be yours," I say offering him a reassuring smile.

Edward leans over and picks up the guitar case that he'd left leaning against the bench, before sitting down with it on his lap and opening the top. He looks up at Embry and sighs. "Your mom told me you are a really talented musician and she also told me your favorite band are New Eclipse. My friend Jasper wrote a couple of their songs on their latest album and he got to know the band pretty well. When I told him about you he contact them and they sent this over. I hope you like it." He lifts the guitar out of the case and hands it to Embry. I know nothing about music or instruments, so I have no idea if this is a good guitar or not, but I notice on the front there are three signatures. Embry takes the guitar and studies it.

"This is a type of guitar Aro Volturi plays," says Embry quietly, the obvious awe in this voice, "Are these their signatures?" He turns to me. "Look mom, there's Marcus's, and Aro's and over here is Caius." He runs his hand reverently over the instrument and looks back to Edward. "Did they play this?" he asks.

"I believe they may have," replies Edward with the biggest grin on his face ever.

Embry looks in shock. "I can't accept this. It's too much." He goes to hand it back, but Edward stops him.

"It was signed for you and it obviously means a lot to you. Please, it didn't cost me anything, just a bit of Jasper's time, and your reaction shows it belongs with you. Please, enjoy it. Play it. I just ask one thing."

"Anything," say Embry, still in shock.

"Let me play with you later. I normally only get to play with Jasper now and I'd love to hear you play. Bella says you're good. I'd like to know how good."

"You play too?" Embry asks, and with that the barriers have been broken down as the two musicians start to talk about their favorite songs and artists. They only stop when Jared interrupts, telling them they can talk guitars later, but now they are in the park and need to play ball.

As the boys go off to throw around the ball that Edward had given to Jared, laughing and joking as they do, I walk Kim off to put on her ballet clothes in the back of the car.

…

That afternoon, Edward does indeed come around for dinner, and I do serve up fish sticks. Edward claims to love them and I tell him he was bound to, being so young.

I then fail to kick him out when I put the kids to bed. I go to say my goodnights to Embry, who is sat reading on his bed.

"I like him," he responds to my questions about Edward, "and not just because of the guitar."

I laugh. I knew it would take more than a few gifts to win my kids over, but I am pleased he is giving him a chance. The other two had been a lot more relaxed about Edward too, having now met him.

"I'm glad," I say as I lean over and kiss the top of his head before making my way over to the door.

As I open it to leave, Embry surprises me by saying, "Oh, and remember how thin the walls are here, mom. I can hear everything in your room, so no sneaking him upstairs later."

I turn back, my face bright red, incredulous at my son's insinuations. He appears to still be reading his book, as if references to my sex life are an everyday conversation between us.

I just gape at him, and he eventually looks up at me. "Don't look so shocked, mom. I know how babies are made, I'm not stupid." He shrugs and looks back down at his book.

"Do we need to talk about this?" I ask.

"Not really." He once again seems to be involved in his book, but I notice the pages aren't turning. After a pause he continues, "As I said, I like him and he makes you happy. I know you're both adults, but there are just some things I'd rather not hear.

"You sound like the parent at the moment," I say with a smile and I see the corners of his mouth turn up, even though his head is still bent down.

"As long as you're as understanding with me when I want to bring girls back, we'll be fine." I'm once again rendered speechless by his words. I know he's nearly thirteen and he's been shooting up recently, showing definite early signs of puberty, but I'd hoped I was still a few years off the whole sex issue.

He glances back up at me. "Chill, mom, it won't be for a few years. Geez, I'm only twelve." He looks back down, but not before I catch the mammoth grin that creeps across his face and I know he is achieving just the reaction from me he set out to. That little wind up artist. He'll pay one day. Just you wait Embry Black.

…..

The next evening, Edward sticks to his promise of taking me on our first proper date. Charlie and Sue have come round to watch the kids and I'm both excited and nervous. Edward hasn't told me anything about what he has planned and I'm a little nervous this may be when we get found out.

I'm chatting with Sue in the living room when Edward's car pulls up. Charlie is upstairs talking to Embry, no doubt getting the low down on my date. As I go to the door, intending to meet Edward at his car, I hear Embry's door open. I shout out a quick goodbye and hurry out, keen to avoid the whole dad, Edward interaction. The last thing I need at the moment is Charlie playing the over protective father. I'm sure he still struggles to remember I'm nearly forty and can look after myself perfectly fine.

Edward waits for me by the passenger side of his car and opens the door for me, helping me in, before taking his own seat. As we drive of, I see Charlie standing in my front door staring daggers at the car. I briefly wonder what has got his knickers in a twist, but push him out my mind as I turn to Edward to quiz him about the date.

…..

As it turned out the date was fantastic, and thoughtful, and magical, and fun. We'd only been travelling for a few minutes, me quizzing Edward the whole way and him refusing to answer any of my questions, when we pulled up outside Mr. Webber's. I assumed Edward had forgotten something, but then he was opening my door and pulling me out the car also.

"Shhh, Bella. All will become clear," he says, silencing my questions, as he leads my by the hand up to the door. Angela opens the door as we get closer. She is dressed in a knee length black skirt and a white collared blouse.

"Good evening, Sir, Madam," she addresses us. "Welcome to the House of Webber. Do you have a reservation?"

I look at her puzzled as we enter the house.

"Thank you, we do. It's in the name of Cullen," replies Edward politely.

Angela makes a show of looking at a book on the counter, "Ah, yes, of course, the premium menu. Follow me. We have a very special table set up for you tonight."

By now it has dawned on me that our date is here and that Angela is playing the part of hostess in this exclusive restaurant. I smile broadly as she leads us into the conservatory at the back of the property where a beautiful table has been set for two. The room has been lit with chains of fairy lights and there are white flowers everywhere. Gently music plays in the background adding to the intimate, romantic feel.

"This is beautiful, Edward. When did you arrange all this?" I ask.

"Angela and I worked most of the afternoon to get it ready for you. I thought we could keep our privacy a little longer, but you could still get your date. Do you like it?"

He looks suddenly apprehensive and I see Angela peering at me, nervously chewing on her thumb, a habit she's had since we were in high school together. "I love it," I reassure him as he leads me to my seat, pulling it out for me and I see Angela slip out with a huge grin on her face.

The meal is fantastic. It would appear Edward had found out all my favorites from Ang and the two of them had worked together to get them prepared. We talk about everything and nothing, laughing, giggling and reacquainting. Our conversation flows easily, just as it did in LA, but before I know it the evening is over and Edward is driving me back to my house.

"So can I walk you to your door? Perhaps steal a kiss before I let you go in?" He gives me his sexy smirk as he gently teases me after pulling the car up outside my place.

I glance up at the house and spot the front curtain twitching.

"You can do better than that," I smile back, "You can come in for coffee."

"Coffee?" he asks, smirking, "Is that a euphemism for something more?"

"Well, first you can meet Sue and my dad," I giggle as his face drops remembering they're here. "I think we should stick to coffee till they go home."

"You're dad's not going to shoot me for knocking up his daughter, is he?" asks Edwards jokingly, but I can tell he is a little worried. I remember the look on Charlie's face as we left the house earlier, but dismiss it. Dad knows the situation and he also knows I'm an independent fully grown woman. He wouldn't kick up a fuss.

"You'll be fine." I smile at him, opening the car door and climbing out.

He walks me to the door, holding my hand, once again looking a little nervous. It suddenly has the feel of a real first date, and a high school one at that, with my parents waiting inside to meet my new boyfriend. I wonder briefly if he will actually kiss me on the doorstep. I've been so intimate with this man, but I still get those butterflies, as if this will be our first kiss, to accompany our first date.

As we approach the door I linger and he pushes a stray hair behind my ear, in a now familiar gesture. He moves forward, narrowing the distance between us. There is the familiar head tilt and the lean, and then our lips meet. It's a gently chaste kiss, but it is so appropriate. I pull back and grin at him.

"Thanks," I say before I push the door open and lead him inside going through to the lounge where Sue is sat watching some reality show on the TV.

"Where's dad?" I ask and Sue indicates the kitchen door just as Charlie appears.

"A word please, Isabella," he demands before walking back into the kitchen.

His face is thunder and he full named me. Something is definitely bothering him.


	27. Chapter 27 - Offspring, Dates and Dad P2

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 26 – Offspring, Dates and Dads Part 2**

I look at Sue and she rolls her eyes. "I've tried talking to him, but he won't listen to me," she says as she hits mute on the remote. "Edward, why don't you sit down and tell me all about your date while Bella sorts out Charlie."

She pats the sofa next to her and Edward dutifully takes a seat. I hear her start to quiz him on where we went and what we did as I move into the kitchen, shutting the door behind me.

Charlie is standing opposite the door, leaning against the counter, the look on his face being the familiar one I got as a kid when I'd done wrong. I look around the room and see the surfaces are spotless, a sure sign my dad has been cleaning, something he only does when frustrated or angry. The laptop is open on the kitchen table and every chair is neatly lined up.

"Why didn't you tell me who he was?" he says in a low voice.

"What difference would it have made dad?" I reply in an angry whisper. I'm not liking his attitude. I really don't know what his problem is.

This is apparently the wrong thing to say. "Well a little warning may have been nice before you brought him into our lives. Into the lives of my grandkids. Embry tells me they've met."

"Of course they have, dad. He's going to be part of our lives. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm having his kid. It's a little late to keep him at a distance." I'm struggling to understand why Charlie is taking this so badly.

"And exactly what do you know about him, Isabella? I know it's easy to be swept up in the lifestyle with these celebrity types, to be star struck, but how much do you exactly know about his guy?"

"More than you, I can assure you. And, no, I'm not 'star struck'," I assure him. I understand he is being protective. But really is this necessary?

"And what happens when the press gets wind of this? How are you going to protect the kids when we have photographers trying to get a picture of you and his love child?"

I sigh. "Look dad, I didn't plan this, but it is what it is. He's a good guy. He will do what he needs to do to protect us as best he can."

"He's a good guy, is he? How do you know? You hardly know him, Bella. I've done some of my own research whilst you were out, and I have to say, what I've learnt about him I don't like." He indicates the laptop. Shit, Charlie's been looking on the web. No good can come of this.

Charlie's voice is rising now and I worry about Edward hearing in the other room. "For example, do you know he's been engaged, to this Tanya Denali? And she's not the first you know. There was this Victoria woman before her. He seems to make a habit of getting engaged. But that's not the worse. Do you know he's still seeing this Tanya? And apparently she's pregnant too. Has he told you about her? What happens when he goes back to LA, back to her? Have you asked yourself why a guy in his twenties is chasing after a woman who is nearly forty with three kids already when he can have his pick of young beautiful women?"

I see red. How dare my dad act like this? I trust Edward. He's told me about his past relationships and there is no way he is still with Tanya, or Victoria for that matter. But there is also a hint of him hitting a raw nerve. I still worry what Edward sees in me, why he is with me. Charlie is grating on my insecurities, and it makes me cross. I don't want to question what we have.

"I don't know why he likes me, dad, but for some reason he does. He's here with me, and this is where he says he wants to be and I believe him. I trust him. Just like you should trust me. But, no, instead of rationally talking to him and me, you decided to believe some gossip page? You know they make most of it up, don't you?"

"There's no smoke without fire, Bella. That's one thing you learn as a cop. I also learnt to trust my gut, and at the moment my gut smells a rat. I don't trust him." The man is apparently not willing to listen to reason.

"To be honest dad, it doesn't matter if you trust him or not. I do." I'm shouting by now, in total disbelief at my dad's attitude. "That man is one of the best things to ever happen to me. He is kind, considerate, passionate, caring and I love him. If you can't accept that then that's your problem, because whether you like it or not. I'm a thirty nine year old woman who can make her own decisions."

At this point I storm out the room and out the house, slamming the door behind me. I find myself on my front porch and it's then that I realize, I've stormed out my own house having just yelled at my dad.

I look around, wondering what to do. I can't go back in. I'm still fuming, my emotions running wild. I pace back and forth a few times before sinking down onto the swing to the side of the front door, and burying my face in my hands.

I feel the swing move as a body settles beside me, and a familiar arm settles around my shoulders. "Are you okay, Beautiful?" he asks.

"Did you hear that?" I mumble into my hands.

He pulls me close and I let my head bury into his chest as I feel him nod his head. "I'm sorry," he says.

"What are you apologizing for? You've done nothing wrong."

He shrugs. "I don't like getting between you and your dad. Do you want me to talk to him?"

I look up at him, into his eyes. Eyes I know in my heart I can trust. "Not at the moment," I say. "What's going on inside?"

He gives a little one sided smile, "Sue is talking to your dad." He raises an eyebrow on the word talking. I know exactly what Sue's talking will involve. I've been on the wrong end of one of her talks enough times in my life to know their power.

"Good. I'm glad she at least seems to be on our side," I say as I bury my head back into Edward's chest. This could soon become one of my most favorite places to be.

"Did you hear everything Charlie said?" I ask and I feel him nod his head before he kisses the top of my head.

"And everything you said," he replies.

I think back over everything I yelled at Charlie. Then my eyes go wide as I realize _everything_ I said. Did I really let out the L word? Shit. This is too soon. I know it's been dawning on me that I love this man, but we've only just decided we're actually in a relationship.

I'm silent for a moment that seems to stretch on for eternity. He's silent too. What does that mean? Does he not feel it too? Well of course he doesn't. He's not known me long enough to say those words to me. He probably doesn't feel that way. But I know I do. As I feel his arms tight around me I realize I feel those words so much and I should own them.

"I meant it you know. It's not quite how I'd have liked to have told you for the first time. Me, yelling it at my dad. But it doesn't make it any less true."

"Make what less true, Beautiful? Say it, please. To me."

I pull back. This isn't something I should say to his chest. Even if he doesn't feel the same, I need to see his eyes when I say this. I know I'm putting my heart on the line, but it feels the right thing to do.

"I love you, Edward." The words come our quietly, but clearly. There can be no mistake I mean them.

Then his lips are on mine. The kiss tells me things his words aren't. But I worry I'm reading things that aren't there. He didn't say it back.

Then I'm pulled back into his arms. He holds me so close, so securely and once again I think I can feel it in that embrace, but he doesn't say it. I feel him drop light kisses to the top of my head, one arm is across my shoulders and the other my lower back as he just holds me so tight.

Once again time stretches. He still doesn't say it. Doesn't say anything. Silent tears start to fall. He must feel them because he pulls back and looks down at my face, lit by the soft light from the living room window. He wipes the tears away with his thumb, and he looks puzzled. Then he closes his eyes, before opening them. And I'm sure I see it there, in their depths.

"You know I feel it too?" he asks.

"What?" I whisper.

"Love." It's almost just a breath; the sound itself getting lost on the breeze that whips around the house this time of year, but it's enough to almost stop my heart. "I love you, Bella." Then I'm back in his arms, and I was right, what I felt in his embrace was love. He loves me.

We just hold each other, neither of us willing to break the moment, but eventually it is broken. By Sue and Charlie leaving the house. It's cold out here on the porch, and I start to shiver as I pull away from Edward to look at the two of them.

Charlie is stood just a little behind Sue and is still looking pissed off. He is gazing out at the cars parked in front the house. I wonder what Sue has said to him. Whether she's managed to make him see some sense.

"Charlie has something he'd like to say to you," she says.

When Charlie isn't quick enough to respond he gets a sharp gab in the ribs with an elbow and I smile a little.

Charlie turns our way, but is still not looking at us directly. The porch decking seems much more interesting. "I'm sorry, Bella, that I said those things to you. You were right. This is something we need to discuss sensibly. You now know I have concerns, but it's only because I care for you. I do trust you, but it may take some time to trust him." He nods his head in Edward's direction.

"He's name is Edward, Dad." Edward's hand tightens on my shoulder.

"Mr. Swan," Edward starts, "I can assure you I have no intentions of hurting your daughter. There are no other women in my life, and I have no interest in there being any other women in my life. Bella is a very special and beautiful woman and I intend to be around for as long as she'll let me."

"That's easy to say, and it's Chief Swan," Charlie says through a tight jaw.

"Okay," says Sue abruptly, obviously recognizing that things might be about to blow up again. "It's late now, and cold out here. Bella, Edward, I'd like to invite you both round for lunch tomorrow. I think it would be good for us all to get to know each other a little better once we've all had a chance to sleep." She looks between us both, and then back to Charlie, who once again has found something interesting in my front yard.

I see her give a sigh and a small shake of her head. "Would mid-day suit you both?" she says looking back to us.

I nod. "Thanks, Sue." I mean it. I know she'll be working on Charlie up to that point, but he really needs to hear things from us.

At my agreement she turns and walks down my porch steps towards her and Charlie's car. "Come on _Chief_ Swan. I'm tired and you need to drive me home."

There is no arguing with her when she's like this. Charlie gives his own sigh, and then turns back to us and he looks at me properly for the first time since leaving the house. I see the remorse in his eyes. I'm not sure what exactly he's sorry for. What he said, how he said it, or that he upset me, but I know it comes from a place of love. That he only wants to protect me.

"I guess we'll talk tomorrow," he says.

"Tomorrow," I say, I little curtly. I'm still upset at him, but it's a little tempered now. I've just had a wonderful man tell me he loves me. There's not much space in my head or heart for being cross at the moment.

"Charlie, I'm getting cold waiting here for you." We both look towards Sue who is stood by the car door with her hands on her hips, and I know he's in trouble when he gets home, and so does he.

"Wish me luck," he says under his breath before following in her wake, and despite myself I can't help a little smile. I'm glad she's pissed at him and not me.

…

Edward ended up staying over again that night. I didn't want to be alone, but I set the alarm to kick him out bright and early. He took me back inside swiftly after Charlie and Sue had left. The wind was picking up, and it was getting bitterly cold.

We made love that night, both of us basking in our shared confessions. As we came, and again after, lying wrapped in each other's arms, we whispered the words that meant so much once more.

* * *

AN: So they have declared they love each other. Which is a nice place to leave them for now.

I'm really sorry to say there may be a few delays with the next few chapters. This story had been all written, but I lost some of the chapters from the middle (USB drive failure) and I'm struggling to rewrite them (RL is keeping me too busy and I'm finding it hard to write something I had already written once). I have the end all ready to go, but the next few chapters are missing. The next one has been the most difficult to get out again, but I'm half way there, so fingers crossed for next week (but may have to be unbetered if it will be on time!).

Looking forward to hearing your views on this chapter. Please stick with me.

MT


	28. Chapter 28 - Families

**This chapter is un beta'ed as I've had no time to get it off to be looked at, but I decided I wanted to get something out to you this week and not miss a week. So all mistakes are mine and I apologise for them. If there are any 'British-isms' please excuse them. It's hard to write outside your native dialect and to catch everything.**

 **It is also not the chapter I was expecting to post/write. I was planning on this chapter covering the lunch at Charlies, but I didn't get that far and the chapter was getting longer than expected! So I'm putting out what I have and we will get to Charlie next week (hopefully).**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 28 - Families**

"How am I supposed to know where your other shoe is? Didn't you leave them both in the same place?" You'd think by nine-years-old Jared would be better at looking after his things, but no, apparently hunting down his lost shoes is _my_ job.

"Well, I took one off when I came in yesterday, but I didn't take the other off until later, but I don't know when," he replies.

Why you'd take one shoe off, and not the other, is beyond me. I will never understand boys, or men for that matter.

"Well I suggest you look in your room, and failing that, last time it was behind the couch, so you might want to check there. And hurry, we're already late."

I go to the door to grab our coats, and, by some miracle, I find Kim there already, waiting, ready, bag in hand.

This morning has been one of _those_ mornings. I spilt the milk, so cereal was out, and then I burnt the toast. Embry did not want to get out of bed, and I ended up having to pull the covers from him, so he's been in a foul mood with me all morning. Kim has decided she is going to be helpful. Which is great, but involves her moving everything around and not telling me. I spent five minutes trying to find my keys after she took them from the table by the door and put them in my bag ready to go. I'm trying not to shout at them, but my patience is growing very thin.

On top of it all, I've got the worry of Edward and my lunch date with Charlie. Charlie, who has decided my boyfriend is Satan himself. Fuck, did I just call Edward Cullen my boyfriend? Yes, I did. We've even been on a date, so it must be true. And he said he loved me. I smile, getting a warm feeling all through my body. Life could be worse.

Jared comes down the stairs, lost shoe in hand, followed by Embry carrying his guitar. He has band practice after school today. That's right, he is now in a 'band'. The band currently consisting of him, his best mate Alex, who he convinced to get a drum kit for his birthday last October, and the latest addition, Ben, who plays base. They practice in Alex's parent's garage. Which is a blessing. I don't think their brand of rock music would please my elderly neighbors.

"Right, Jared, put that on your foot. Here are your coats. Everybody got bags?" I get nods, and we look ready to go. I do a quick check I'm not forgetting anything. Kim has her ballet kit, Jared has a club free day, but has the homework he completed last night. I've got my wallet and keys; thank you Kim. I glance in the hall mirror. Shit my hair. I've not been near it with a brush. So that's the mess Edward's hands make when they run through it! I briefly allow myself a second to remember our time together the previous night, before I reluctantly kicked him out again this morning. Hopefully we'll get some more time together today, once I drop the kids off and before we have to go around to Sue and Charlie's. This is our last day before Edward leaves to film his next movie. I'm trying not to think about how much I'm going to miss him.

Right, hair. I know some where in my bag there is a brush and hair tie so can deal with that in the truck. I bustle the kids out the door, not wanting to give them the time to escape, now I have them all three here. Once they are safely strapped in I buckle myself in, then remember my hair. Thank god. I quickly flip down the visor to reveal the mirror and pull my hair into a lose pony tail at the back. Not perfect but it will have to do.

Now let's get to school.

I turn the key in the ignition. The truck splutters then gives a loud bang, before falling silent. Fuck. Just what I need this morning.

"What's wrong with the truck, mom?" asks Jared, as if I'm some sort of mechanic.

"I don't know, sweetie," I say in a voice I'm sure shows I'm a hairs breadth away from losing my cool. I try the ignition again. This time there is a small whine, before silence once again falls over the engine.

So, I guess this pile of shit isn't taking us to school today. I quickly run through my options. The first person I'd usually call would be Mike, but obviously that's out. There's Charlie, but after last night … I don't think so. Jess uses the breakfast club on her weeks with Paul, so will already be at work. Who else can I ask? Well, there is one person, and I know he's up because I kicked him out my bed only an hour and a half ago.

I pull out my phone, and send off a quick text:

 **Are you and your car available? My heap of metal, that I fondly refer to as a truck, has decided not to run this morning. Can we get a lift to the school? - B**

"How are we going to get to school if the car won't start, mom?" Jared again. "Are you going to ask Mike?"

He knows the usual routine for when the truck is giving me trouble.

"Not today, Jared." I'm not getting into why Mike is not a viable option anymore.

"Ohhh," says Kim, "I want to ride with Paul. Please mom, call Mike. He'll come and get us, he always does."

I hold back an outburst about Mike having ulterior motives for helping. Not child appropriate, and not their fault I'm mad at Mike. I mustn't take my fury with Mike out on my kids. I chant this over and over in my head as I, as calmly as possible, explain that I've asked Edward to come and help us. I just have time to notice Embry look up, finally paying attention to what is going on around him, as my phone pings its message alert. I'm not sure if his surprised look is one of pleasure or annoyance.

 **I'm on my way, Beautiful. Pleased to be of service. - E**

It only takes five minutes for Edward to arrive, during which time I get my kids out of my old truck and lined up on the curb, coats on and bags in hand. They are ready to go, while I'm still wrestling with Kim's car seat.

Embry and Jared have started bickering over who has to sit in the middle. They both want a window seat. Their argument comes to an end as Edward pulls up in his shiny black Volvo SUV. It's a seven seater, so plenty of room for them all to get a window seat. Edwards jumps out to help us load up.

"Is this yours?" asks Embry, looking the car over.

"No, it's a rental," informs Edward. "But I do own an SUV back in LA … and a couple other cars."

"Oh?" Embry's interest is piqued, and Jared is following right on behind. What is it with boys and cars?

Their conversation drifts, and I tune out as I strap Kim's seat into the SUV. Edward is showing the boys pictures on his phone, I presume of his cars. I hear him quoting 0-60 stats and the words Porsche, but I'm not that interested. I remember he drove when we went to Emmett's house. I liked that one. It was sexy and red. I remember there were a couple other cars in the garage, but I'd not taken that much notice at the time. I suppose I was a little distracted.

As I throw in the bags the boys are still talking and joking together. I look at them pointedly. Don't they realize we have a school to get to?

I clear my throat. Edward looks up. I'm stood at the side of the car, my hands on my hips. Kim is strapped into her boaster seat and the car is loaded. All that is left is for us to get in and go.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Bella. We got a little distracted there. Can I help you to load up?" Edward asks.

I look around me, and he follows my gaze. He then realizes there is nothing left to do. I'm pleased to see him look suitably contrite. My boys, however, are oblivious to the fact they have just left me and Kim to do all the work.

"Sorry," Edward says, sheepishly.

I just shake my head and start to climb in, and they all follow, the two boys both climbing into the back row or seats.

As I said: one of those mornings.

"Mom's been looking into a car like this," calls out Embry from the back row. "We need a new one as the truck keeps breaking down, and there is no room for the baby."

"Is that so?" asks Edward, looking at me for confirmation.

"It looks like it may have just become urgent," I say. "After the last time it refused to start it was touch and go if Sam could get it going again. This time may be the final straw." I shrug. Just another thing I'll have to try and fit in.

"We need one with DVD players in the backs of the seats," yells out Jared. They've all been looking through the car brochures and picking out their requirements. Mine come down to safety, the ability to fit all four kids in, plus two adults. Theirs involve the gadgets, most of which we will not be getting, no matter how much they beg. My budget only stretches so far.

"So, what makes have you been looking at?" Edward asks as we pull out of my street.

I proceed to fill him in on the models I'm interested in, and he offers some feedback, based on the research he did when he purchased his. Obviously, our requirements were slightly different, but he still offers some good advice, which I appreciate.

~H~

Once we've dropped the kids off, which involved Edward waiting in the car trying not to be spotted while I walked them in, we head straight back to my house. As we're approaching the house we pass a couple of cars that look to have had a run in with each other. The back end of one, a sleek looking red number, is sporting a large dent, and the other has what looks like a corresponding dent in the front and a smashed headlight. I watch as we pass and then something catches me eye. On the side walk, on the other side of the cars, are two familiar looking people, both looking red in the face, and glaring at each other.

"Stop the car!" I yell.

There is a piercing screech, following shortly by the smell of burning rubber, as Edward slams on the brakes and turns to face me. Luckily there is no one behind us, or else we may have suffered a similar fate to the two cars we'd just passed. I suppose yelling 'stop' suddenly wasn't such a good idea.

"What's wrong, Bella," asks Edward, visibly concerned, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

I'm turning in my seat trying desperately to confirm what I'm sure I saw briefly as we passed. The two people at the side of the road are now tuned in our direction. Yep, I was right, it is them. But what on earth are they both doing here?

"Back up," I say.

"Why?" he asks, his brow drawing together as he too starts to look over his shoulder. "Oh, Shit. What's she doing here?" he adds.

He puts the car into reverse and slowly backs up to the curb in front the rather sporty soft top that is the first of the two cars involved in the accident.

As he stops I take a deep breath, and climb out the car. As I approach the side walk it all kicks off.

"Bella! Wow, it's great to see you. You are looking fabulous. Pregnancy obviously suits you. How are you feeling? Is my brother being good to you? I hope you've kicked his ass for being … well … an ass." As Alice bombards me with words she throws her arms around me and holds me tight. To say I'm overwhelmed would be an understatement. I look over her shoulder at the large, cross man behind her. His arms are folded across his chest, and he is looking at me with one raised eye brow.

"Alice," comes a stern voice from behind me, "put her down. She can't breathe."

Alice steps back and looks at me sheepishly before taking hold of my hands and looking me up and down. "Sorry Bella, but it really is good to see you, and I'm so excited to be an aunt. I've bought a few gifts with me. I hope you don't mind, but I was at the shops and they were just too cute. Plus I've also bought along a load of maternity stuff for you 'cos I figured your wardrobe would need a bit of an overhaul."

"Alice," Edward admonishes again, "please, breathe and tell us what you are doing here."

I look over her shoulder again where the owner of the other vehicle is now giving me a pitying smirk.

"I'll tell you what she is doing here," he starts. "For one, she is driving with absolutely no concern for anyone else on the road, backing out of side roads without looking, and then blaming innocent parties for her mistakes."

Alice whirls around to face her attacker. "Innocent parties?" she practically screeches, and I realize we've stepped into the middle of a very heated encounter. "If certain other drivers were paying due care and attention and sticking to the speed limits then accidents would be avoided."

"I was sticking to the speed limit," his voice is tense, "but you need to learn to look before you start to reverse."

"It's not by fault this god forsaken outpost doesn't believe in signs. How on earth is a girl supposed to find her way anywhere?" asks, well yells, an exasperated Alice. "I've been driving around for what seems like hours, trying to find my soon to be besties house."

"Alice," Edward tries to step in to diffuse the situation. Me, I'm just enjoying the show. "Maybe you should apologize to the gentleman and next time use your sat nav."

"Oh, Edward," she says, as if she's talking to a small child, "you know I can't stand those things. Always telling you want to do, and getting cross when you ignore them."

I watch as Edward rolls his eyes, and the other driver laughs.

"I'm in agreement with Eddie on this one," he says, "and that's not something I expected to say today." He turns towards Edward and levels him with a piercing stare. "You and I need to have a small chat about the tone of emails you send to my sister in future. You two may be all cozy, cozy now, if what Charlie says is to be believed, but you still need to know that you hurt her, and I don't tolerate that." As he talks he walks over and puts his arm around my shoulders.

"Hello, Sis," he says, bending down to peck me on the cheek before pulling me into a firm embrace.

"Hi, Seth," I reply. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"And it's great to see you too," he replies. "As to what I'm doing here? Well, I was planning to come up and surprising you this weekend, as I thought you needed cheering up after this idiot," he nods his head at Edward, "failed to see how fucking fantastic you are, but then Charlie called last night to let me know Mr. 'I've got all the information I need', was here, so I thought I'd better make an appearance as soon as I could. A few quick calls to the airline to rearrange my flight, and here I am." He smirks at me, obviously pleased with himself.

Fuck, this means Charlie's called in re-enforcements. I was hoping to talk to Seth first and get him on my side, before Charlie waded in. The last time I'd spoken to him it had turned into an hour long rant about what a jerk Edward was. I'd filled him in on our email exchange, and he was, quite rightly, fuming at the way Edward had reacted. But things have changed.

"Who are you calling an idiot?" Alice jumps to her brother's defense.

"The guy who ran the minute me saw my sister was knocked up, and then refused to listen when she reached out to him," Seth retorts.

Alice smiles at him, her stance softening. "Okay, I concede that over the last few weeks there have been times when he has acted like an idiot, but in defense of my little brother, he was deceived into believing said baby wasn't his. But you are right, if the idiot had just taken the time to talk to Bella it could have saved a lot of heart ache, and I also could have had a much more enjoyable Christmas without having to listen to his whining."

"Hey," Edward interjects, "I'm stood right here you know."

I decide this has gone on long enough, besides the sidewalk in the middle of Forks is not the place I want to air my laundry, dirty or not.

"Enough," I say, in my best mom voice. "Now I suggest we all go back to my house to discuss this like the adults we all purport to be, before we have to head over to Charlies for lunch. Alice, I assume you'll be okay to follow us without causing any accidents, and Seth, I assume you can find your way there without hitting anyone else?"

"She backed into me," he starts and I can see Alice's heckles rising again.

"I don't want to hear it. You two can slog it out later, but for now I want to get home and stop arguing in the street." I turn and walk back to Edward's car. I look back as I reach the passenger door, "Well, are you all coming or what?" and with that they all climb into their respective vehicles and we make the short drive to my house.

Once there I fill Seth in on Edward's misunderstanding, and Mike's involvement in it, as we make coffee in the kitchen, and Edward catches up with his sister in the living room. I have to talk Seth out of going round to punch Mike's lights out. "I warned him, when he dated you in high school, that if he ever hurt you he'd have me to answer to. He should know that warning still stands."

"Oh, please, Seth, I'm a little old for you to be warning off my boyfriends don't you think? Not that Mike was my boyfriend. Well, at least not at any point in the last twenty years."

"You're never too old for your big brother to look out for you," he reassures me. "Talking of which, I still need to check lover boy in there knows that he's on a warning."

"Please, Seth, go easy on him. He kind of means a lot to me."

Seth looks at me closely for a few moments. "He really does, doesn't he, Bells? You've fallen hard, haven't you? You look the same way you did when you came to tell me Jacob and you were an item. I knew then it wouldn't be long before Charlie was walking you down that aisle." He sighs, drawing me in for a hug. "Just let him reassure me that he feels the same, and will do everything is his power not to see you hurt again, and you'll have my complete backing."

When we go back into the living room, Edward does just that. Not only with the words he says to Seth, but also in the way he acts around me and looks at me. I can see the love there now, shining like a beacon, and when Seth pulls me aside later he gives me a nod and tells me he trusts him. It's great to have my brother on my side, and it's not long till him and Edward are laughing and joking like old friends.

Alice is still a little standoffish with him, but relaxes when I allow her to show me all the shopping she's done. I have to admit, her delivery of maternity wear couldn't have come at a better time, and she has done a much better job than I ever could in selecting items that are classy and suit me. I could spend hours going through the bags of baby clothes she has bought. It will appear my little girl will only be wearing designer. It's the sort of stuff I'd not normally buy, considering I'd be too worried about getting baby throw up all over it, but if it's a gift, what can you do? She will be the best dressed baby in all of Forks, spit up or no spit up.

By the time we're ready to head over to Charlies I'm feeling much more relaxed and ready to face whatever my father decides to throw at us. Seth has given us the heads up on Charlie's major issues, as conveyed to him over the phone in great depth the previous night. His main worries appear to be around what's printed about Edward in the celebrity magazines and gossip web pages, where they are constantly speculating about him getting back together with Tanya, and even Victoria. He's also worried about the press intrusion into our lives, and I have to admit this still terrifies me, despite what I told Edward about being ready for this to happen. I worry about what the press will think about me, how my kids will react to being in the public eye, and just generally about being photographed and hassled, and coping with the intrusion. But I also know it's something I don't have much control over.

I send a quick text off to Sue to check she's okay with a couple of extra guests and she lets me know she is expecting Seth anyway and that Alice is very welcome to join us. I'm glad Edward is going to have some back up at this family gathering. I just hope Charlie hasn't roped in Leah.

However, it's not long until my worst fears are confirmed.

* * *

A/N Before I sign off for today, can I take the time to direct you over to a competition that is currently running. The ControlPossessSeduceContest is all about those Edward's we can't resist. There are some great stories and it only has another 2 days to run, so voting will open soon. Check it out and cast a vote for you favourite.


	29. Chapter 29 - Good Cop, Bad Cop

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 29 – Good Cop, Bad Cop**

Edward drives us over to Charlie's in his rental car. Seth, with his long legs, has taken the passenger seat and I'm keeping Alice company in the back. As we get closer, I notice Edward glancing repeatedly in the rear view mirror. I crane my neck round to see what might be bothering him. As I do, the relative quiet of the morning is disturbed by the loud wail of a police siren and the lights on top the police cruiser behind us flair up.

"Shit!" exclaims Edward, "I wasn't speeding. I know I wasn't speeding. I didn't jump a light, did I? Did you see what I did wrong?" He turns to Seth for answers, obviously convinced he's done nothing to warrant being pulled over.

"Don't worry, Eddie boy. Your driving has been exemplary. However, I'm sure that particular cop can give you a long list of things you've done wrong. But I'll leave that up to her. I'm just going to sit back and watch the show." He nods towards the driver's window where the face of a cop has appeared. She has a slight face, angular, but pretty. Her hair is jet black and cut in a short bob under her police cap. She scowls at Edward before knocking on the glass and indicating he should wind down the window.

Edward complies. I can see his face reflected in the side mirror and as the window lowers I see his lips curl into one of his panty dropping smiles. One of the ones that worked a treat on me, and still does. But I know for a fact it won't work here. I don't think he's going to be charming his way out of this interrogation.

"Good morning, officer," he starts, in a slightly seductive tone, "is there a problem?"

"You're damn right there's a problem," she snaps. "License and registration." She holds out her hand to receive the documents as Edward reaches into the back pocket of his jeans for his wallet.

"I don't suppose you could tell me what I did wrong, officer?" Edward keeps up the smiles and politeness.

"I'll be the one asking the question, if you don't mind."

"For fuck sake," I mutter from the back seat. I notice Edward's eyes widen, as if he's afraid my words will antagonize the officer further, but I'm not afraid of her. Bring it on, I say.

She glances quickly in my direction before focusing back on Edward as he hands her his documentation. It's the first time she's even acknowledged the presence of the rest of us in the car, but it seems she's not going to be distracted.

"So," she glances at his license, "Mr. Cullen, you're from Los Angeles, I see. What's a big city boy like you doing in our small, back of nowhere town?"

"Just visiting friends." He turns briefly in my direction. He looks worried. This charade has gone on long enough. He has done nothing to warrant being pulled over and interrogated and I don't want a confrontation in the street. If she wants to talk to him she can wait until we're at Charlie's.

"Cut the crap, Leah. I know Charlie's spoken to you. You know exactly who he is, and why he's here."

"Shhh," interrupts Seth, "I'm enjoying this."

"Isabella, this is between me and the driver of this vehicle." She doesn't look my way, just keeps glaring at Edward.

"Leah?" Edward asks. "As in Bella's sister?" I see his face break out into a genuine smile as he reaches out his hand. "It's great to finally meet you. Bella has told me a lot about you. Are you coming over to Charlie's too?" It seems Edward is still trying to charm his way into my sister's good books.

She looks at his hand as if it's radioactive and makes no move to shake it. "I wish I could say the same about you, Mr. Cullen. But Bella has been very tight lipped on your identity."

"Leah," I say, "please can we drop this here. We are nearly at Charlie's, and I'd much rather not have this interrogation in the street, with your police cruiser lights flashing behind us. For obvious reasons we are trying to maintain a low profile."

"She's probably right," interrupts Seth as he glances around, and nods his head towards the twitching curtains opposite. Oh great, we're outside Mrs. Copes house. "You can continue your torture of Bella's boyfriend when we're safely inside."

"Boyfriend?" asks Leah, looking back at me and I give a nod of my head, looking back at Edward in the side mirror, catching his eye, as we both give each other silly grins.

Leah hands Edward back his documents. "Well this all seems in order," she relents. "But this isn't over. I'll see you at Charlie's."

Then she's marching back to her cruiser. Edward waits for her to pull out and around us, before pulling out himself and following in her wake to our father's house.

~H~

Edward pulls up outside the small house, parking behind Leah, who is already purposefully striding up to the front door without a glance back. Shit. She's going to give me and Edward hell.

"This could be fun," chuckles Seth, as we all climb out the car. I just give him an evil look.

We enter the house quickly and find Sue, Charlie and Leah all waiting in the kitchen. Sue is busy preparing what looks like a chicken salad, while Leah and Charlie glance up from their position, sat close together, conspiratorially, at the small kitchen table. To one side is sat an open laptop, positioned so I can't see the screen. Charlie's face is tight with tension and his mustache has already started twitching. Leah just looks at me with the narrowest eyes.

One look at us you would never peg us as sisters, albeit half-sisters. Leah inherited Sue's tanned complexion and straight, jet black hair, which she wears short, compared to my long wavy brown locks and pale skin. Her eyes are almost as dark as her hair and, even after having two children, she is stick thin, compared to my curves. But people that know us are forever remarking how alike we are. We have both inherited the shape of our lips from Charlie, and said lips curl up more on one side than the other when we find something amusing, or we're trying to hide a smile. There are other mannerisms, such as the way we both fiddle with things with our fingers when we're agitated, or the small v that forms between our eyes when we are concentrating hard or worrying too much.

That v is there now on Leah's face, and I've no doubt it is mirrored on mine. Her eyes tell me she is pissed off, and I'm sure that is all the others in the room read in her expression, but then her lips slip and give her away. That slight turn up at one side. I nearly miss it, but Leah is acting pissed off, and I've not doubt she is, but she is also amused by the current situation.

"So," she starts, leaning back in her chair and putting her hands behind her head, "you're the famous movie star my dad tells me knocked up my sister?"

Charlie sits back and looks smug. It appears letting Leah at us was his plan all along, and she is playing her role as expected.

I squeeze Edward's hand and go to answer for him. I know this is a game Leah is playing, and she needs to know this is really none of her business. But Edward interrupts, taking a step forward and holding out his hand in greeting. "Hello, I'm Edward, and yes, I'm proud to say I've been lucky enough to have Bella allow me into her life, and I couldn't be happier she's carrying my child." He squeezes my hand as he talks but keeps looking at Leah.

Leah looks down at his hand but, once again, makes no move to shake it. "If you are so happy about the current situation where have you been for the past four months? You, Mr. Big Shot Movie Star, have a few question you need to answer to set both mine and my dad's minds at ease, so I suggest you sit yourself down and we'll talk."

I hear a 'tut' from the kitchen bench, "Leah, you're not at work now. We are not here to interrogate the poor boy. Both Bella and Edward are grown-ups who are perfectly capable of making their own decisions and don't need to answer to you. Now, let's all sit just sit down and get to know each other a little."

"Mom," Leah almost whines, but doesn't get any further.

"That's okay, Mrs. Swan, I'm happy to answer their questions, and it might be best to clear the air before we eat. Then, perhaps, we can all relax a little more." As Edward speaks he pulls out the chair opposite Leah, and sits down.

"Fine," I acquiesce, taking a seat next to Edward, opposite Charlie.

I hear a deep snigger from behind me that can only have come from Seth. "I think we should just watch from back here," I hear him suggest to Alice. "This could get messy." I can hear the amusement in his voice. I'm glad someone is enjoying themselves.

"Are they going to be alright?" Asks Alice, tentatively. "I feel like I'm watching a bad '80's cop show."

"You are," replies my brother. "Charlie is taking the role of the bad cop, and Leah, well, she's the bad-er cop." He laughs at his own joke.

They talk in hushed tones, but in the small space of the kitchen we all hear it. I look through my narrowed eyes at Leah and see her doing the same to me. We give each other that half smile. A smile that, given the current displayed animosity, shouldn't be there. It lets me know she's not really going to hate on my boyfriend, but just wants to put him through his paces. I know she thinks she's doing this for me, and for the time being I'll let her have her fun, but if this gets out of hand I'm cutting her off. A silent conversation passes between us. She lifts one eye brow in a way that indicates she is ready to start. I lift both of mine to say 'bring it on, sister'. She grins broadly, letting me know she is going to enjoy this. I gently shake my head and attempt to give her the evil eye.

Edward clears his throat, breaking our silence.

She turns to him. "Edward Cullen, maybe you could start by letting us know where you have been for the last four months?"

Edward looks at me with remorse in his eyes before answering. "It would appear that Bella and I have both been trying to contact each other, but there were some misunderstandings that were only just recently rectified. But I assure you as soon as I knew Bella was pregnant with my baby I was here for her, and I will remain here for her as long as she wants me. I am over the moon to be having this baby with her, and I … we can't wait to meet our daughter."

I hear a faint 'Awww' from Alice behind us. At least I assume it's her and not Seth.

"Misunderstandings?" asks Leah. "Does this have something to do with the dressing down you gave Mike the other day?"

"You heard about that?" I ask.

"Of course. Sam hasn't stopped going on about how you put Mike in his place. I'm proud of you sis. I didn't think you had it in you. What exactly did he do?"

I might have guessed Sam would tell Leah what had gone down at the garage. The two of them have been an item forever. They were always on and off until Leah fell pregnant about six years ago. Since then they have moved in together and, despite the odd fight, have been a couple since. They now have two rug rats, and a dog called Chip.

"He seemed to think he was a better option for me than Edward, and let him think the two of us were setting up house together. Oh, and that the baby was his."

"No way," she exclaims her eyes going wide. "Well, it shows how much better taste I have then you. I certainly picked the superior brother. But you seem to have traded up now." She looks Edward up and down. "At least in looks. He's still got to prove he's worthy. Talking of which, let's move onto point number two." She turns her attention back to Edward. "It would appear you are quite the playboy, Edward Cullen. Why on earth would you think we would trust you with Bella?"

"It's not for you to trust him. I trust him." I reply.

"Bella," says Charlie shortly, "we are talking to Edward, let the man answer."

I glare at him, but shut up.

Edward reaches under the table and takes my hand in his. It had been resting on my thigh and he has to pries my clenched fist open, but I instantly feel calmer once our fingers are entangled.

Edward takes a deep breath and out of the corner of my eye I see him square his shoulders and lift his chin. He's facing them head on.

"Let me start by ensuring you I am no 'playboy'. I have never cheated on nor lied to a girl I was with and I don't intend to do either of those things to Bella."

Leah breaks in. "Let me present exhibit one." As she talks she turns around the laptop that is open on the table with a flourish. It would appear Leah is a small town cop who's been watching too much law and order, but then I suppose she doesn't get to put her interrogation skills to the test too much in a town where most of her days are spent settling logging disputes and issuing speeding tickets.

I look at the screen now presented to us. It is open to a popular gossip site. The headline across the top of a blown up picture of Edward and Tanya kissing reads: 'Golden Couple Reunite at Toronto Film Festival: Is the wedding back on?'

"And exhibit two." She clicks to another tab where there is a large picture of Edward beside a smaller one of Victoria. This headline claims he is dating Victoria again. I quickly scan some of the captions. An inside source is quoted as saying the two of them have been seen out on several dates.

"Do you deny that you and Tanya were together in September at Toronto, after you knocked up my sister? And what about dating Victoria Hunter? Or are you in fact still engaged to the previously mentioned Miss Tanya Denali?"

She really has been watching too much TV.

Edward looks across at me. "You don't believe this do you?" he asks. "Please tell me you don't think Tanya and I would get back together. You certainly can't believe I'd have anything to do with Victoria."

I give his hand a reassuring squeeze and smile at him. "Of course not. I know how much they both hurt you."

"Are you denying you were in Toronto with Tanya then?" asks Leah, not wanting to let this go.

"Yes … well, no … well…"

"Which one is it, Mr. Cullen? You are not sounding too sure."

"Yes, Tanya and I were both at the Toronto Film Festival. But, we were not there together. We both had films showing that we had to promote. However, I suspect she wanted to bump into me even less than I wanted to see her. Our two PR companies made sure our paths did not cross. I have not seen Tanya since we split up, over eight months ago. She is now seeing someone else and from what I hear is very happy."

"So she is not pregnant with you child, as claimed by 'Hollywood Life' on December 17th?"

"No!" exclaims Edward. "Look. These web sites, in the absence of any real gossip, rely on half-truths and speculation to draw people in. I, sometimes in the same week, will read that Tanya split up with me because I cheated on her, and that we never broke up in the first place and are still secretly together. You cannot believe any of it."

"So, what is the truth?" asks Leah.

I look at her squarely in the eye. "That's between Edward and me. We have spoken at length about our past relationships, what was good, what was bad, and what went wrong. He does not need to explain to you why he and Tanya split up. All you need to know is that he is not with her now and hasn't been for a long time, and has no intention of being with her again."

Leah and I look at each other for a little longer then she turns to Charlie. "They're right you know?" Holy cow, she's coming over to our side. "These sites really do make most of it up. I was reading about Emmett McCarthy, and if that man is seeing every girl they've linked him with, well, let's just say I don't think he'd have time to make all the films he has. And he's married, more's the pity."

I look at Edward and raise my eyebrow, and he does the same. Does my sister have a thing for Emmett?

Leah looks back to Edward. "That, however, doesn't stop me from still being worried." She is looking very serious now and I realize she probably didn't believe all the gossip page stuff in the first place, even if Charlie did. But her expression tells me we are now hitting her real concern.

"What's worrying you, Leah?" I ask gently. I want to be able to put her mind at rest.

"We have already established, I think, that pretty boy here gets a lot of press attention, even when he's not doing anything. I imagine that when they get wind of Bella's expanding waist line and the reason for it they will stop at nothing to find out more." She looks down at her hands clasped on the table and I reach out and place my free hand over hers. "I worry about them spreading lies about you Bells, about them harassing you. You hear such horror stories of female stars being stalked and the paparazzi not leaving them alone. You've never been the sort for the lime light Bella. You hate being the center of attention. Do you really think you will be able to cope? And what about the kids? Will they still be able to have a normal life? Will they be followed, pictured, gossiped about?"

I totally understand her concern. Hell, the consequences of my relationship with Edward getting out terrifies me. But what can I do?

"We're just looking out for you, Bella," says Charlie. "I'm worried what the future will hold and how you'll cope. You've been through so much and you've proved yourself so strong, but this is something you've never had to deal with before. I need to know you and the kids will be safe."

"I understand all your concerns," Edward looks around the room, taking in Charlie, Leah and Sue, whose face, I notice, also shows signs of worried. He then glances back at Seth and Alice.

The ever smiling Seth is also, for once, looking serious, as is Alice, who steps forward and places her hand on her brother's shoulder.

"If I may say a few words?" she says. "You all know both Edward and I have chosen professions that put us in the public's eyes. As you can imagine, our parents also expressed concerns about the impact this would have on our lives and still do worry. So we understand where you are coming from. It is obviously not something we can control completely, they will print what they want to print, but you can minimize it. When this story initially breaks they will go a bit crazy for a while, but it will get better. New stories will break and they will move on."

"So what are you going to do to minimize the impact on my family?" asks Charlie.

"They're my family too," says Edward, reaching out and laying his hand flat across my stomach. "As to what we're doing, well, at the moment Bella and I are keeping a low profile, but we aren't kidding ourselves that we can keep this under wraps forever, nor would I want to. I love your daughter, Chief Swan, and I'm not ashamed of her or our child. I would love nothing more than for her to one day feel comfortable escorting me down the red carpet for one of my film premiers." He smiles at me and I feel a surge of pride, tinged with apprehension, that he'd like to show me off that way.

"But as Alice said, when the story does break, things will go a little crazy for a while. When that happens I have some plans that should kick in. There is a reliable security firm that I use in LA. They have agents that are able to be here at short notice to ensure Bella and the kids are kept safe. I also have a statement, setting out the bare facts, ready to release. If they have something to print they are less inclined to look for more. I can also provide added security to the house to help prevent intrusion. That is something you, as law enforcers, should also be able to help me with. The fence around Bella's property could do with being upgraded, and her alarm system is poor. These are things I can help to improve. If we work together we can weather the initial interest, and once that dies down I doubt there are many reporters that would spend their time out here on the off chance something happens, so Bella and the kids should be fairly safe."

"I see you've given this some thought." Charlie seems a little placated.

"I've been in this business a while now. You learn a few tricks."

"Okay," says Charlie. "Thank you for taking our concerns seriously. It sounds like you want to protect Bella and the kids as much as we do. I respect that. But your actions now need to live up to your words."

Edward nods at my dad and it would appear they have reached some kind of an understanding.

Sue insists on us all sitting around the small table to eat as Charlie and Edward continue to discuss security arrangements with input from Leah and Alice. Everyone agrees my old truck has to go, and I take Seth up on his offer to go and find a new one in Port Angeles while he is down for the weekend. Dad makes plans to beef up my house security while Edward is in Vancouver. He gives Charlie the number of his security contact, and Charlie assures him the local police will step in until they can get here.

By the end of the meal, I wouldn't say we are all best of friends, but the air of hostility has certainly lifted somewhat and Charlie is even able to shake Edward's hand. Leah shakes it too. "No hard feelings on the interrogation?" she asks smirking at him.

"You were just looking out for Bella. I can respect that." he replies.

We say goodbye to the rest of our family members, Seth and Alice going off to book into the Webbers, before we go to pick the kids up. This is Edward's last night in Forks and I intend to make the most of it.

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A/N: Sorry this is a little later today than normal. Busy day. Also delayed by the landlord coming over so we could sign the contract for the next year and hand him a big fat check to cover it. What civilised country still makes you pay for a years rent in one go? The madness of Dubai!

And way, enough of my personal problems. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was really a little bit of fun before we start to progress the story and the relationship further. See you next week. Please leave some love (i.e. Review) so I know what you are all thinking. It's feeling a little lonely here at present.

Oh and don't forget to check out the ControlPossessSeduceContest (author title like this). There are some great entries and voting is open until the 3rd March.


	30. Chapter 30 - Out of the Bag

**Now Betered - Thank you Robstenfanpire, you are a star.**

 **Obviously the characters are still not owned by me.**

 **Also meant to apologise for no post last week. Busy, busy at the moment, but I'm getting there. There next one is lined up and ready to go, so we are okay for next week. Fingers crossed for the ones after that.**

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 **Chapter 30 – The Discovery**

I hated saying goodbye to Edward even more the second time, despite knowing I would be seeing him again. But there was nothing that could be done. We both had responsibilities; him in Vancouver, and me in Forks. However, we had plans. Plans that involved a weekend meet up several weeks later in Seattle. Then it would be just a few short weeks before he would be back in Forks for two weeks.

Two whole weeks together.

It wasn't for another two months but I was really looking forward to it.

In the mean time I kept myself busy; helping Charlie to fix up the fence around the back of my property, and adding a boundary fence around the front yard, with gates to the drive. It's not really practical to put tall fences around the front, and I don't want to feel like I'm living in a prison, but Charlie and Leah tell me that trespassing laws don't allow the press to enter my property if I ask them to leave. So the fence should at least keep them at the boundary if, and when, they find out about me and Edward.

~H~

As we get closer to the Seattle meet up I get more and more nervous, but also extremely excited. It will be a whole two nights of just me and Edward. We've spoken every day on skype, hell we've even had phone sex, but I can't wait to get my hands back on his body. He will also be experiencing my ever expanding body. There is no denying my pregnancy now. In the last month my stomach seems to have doubled in size.

It is actually Leah who has volunteered to take my three this weekend so that Edward and I can have our little get together. I don't think we have plans to leave the hotel room. And not just because we might be spotted.

I get into Seattle around midday. I'm a little later than I'd hoped, but I'd had to make a few more stops on the way. The baby seems to want to dance on my bladder today. My back has also been playing up, so it's been good to get out the car to stretch my legs. Edward has texted me with the room number, having arrived about an hour ago, so I go straight up, not even bother to acknowledge reception. I'm desperate to make another trip to the bathroom. Again.

I knock on the door, eager to see my man, and it's opened almost instantly. God, my memory doesn't do him justice. He's stood in front of me, topless, his jeans riding dangerously low, showing off his slightly defined six pack and that tantalizing trail down to the promised land. I've missed this.

"Bella," he whispers, "thank God you're here." He grabs my hand and pulls me forward into the room, before pushing the door shut behind me, and then I find myself pushed up against it and his lips are on mine. His body seems to be everywhere, pushed up hard against me. My body responds, clearly remembering what this man can do to me, and I'm soon panting and pulling him closer.

"I've missed these," he says, drawing back and running the tips of the fingers of his right hand over my lips as his eyes burn into mine.

Then he leans forward and kisses my neck, just below my ear. "I've missed kissing you here," he says as he sucks on that sensitive area that he knows makes me weak at the knees. His hands snake up my side and he leans back to admire my enlarged breasts. "I've really missed these," he says, cupping them and running this thumbs across my nipples, exciting them even through my bra and shirt.

Then his eyes dip further and his hands run down over my enlarged belly. He pulls up my top, glancing at me quickly to gain permission, to enable him to see it in all its glory. He runs his hands over my bare flesh, almost reverently. "I've missed my little girl, too," he says, looking back up at my eyes, his now burning with something more than just passion. "She's getting bigger."

"That's what happens," I reply, smiling.

At that moment our little one decides to make her presence known, turning to push one limb against her father's hand and another against my already protesting bladder. Edward's eyes go wide as they flash between his hand and my face.

"Was that what I think it was?" he asks.

My smile gets impossibly wider. This is the first time he's felt her move, and it's another magic moment. One I wish I could hang around to savor, but if I don't get out of here soon there is going to be a rather large puddle on the floor. "It certainly was, your daughter obviously wants to say hello, but you will need to get reacquainted with her in a moment because right now she seems to think my bladder is a soccer ball."

He looks at me confused, obviously not understanding my needs. "I need to get the bathroom … now!" I clarify.

He steps back, releasing me, his hands in the air, and I hurry past with a chuckle. Pregnancy can be a magical, wonderful thing, but it can also be icky, painful and a little gross. Don't get me even started on the leg cramps that strike in the middle of the night, or the numbness I get down one leg if I'm stood for too long due to pressure on a nerve, or the back ache, swollen fingers and ankles, and the heartburn and extra wind. Yep, a magical experience all round!

"Better?" Edward asks as I return from the bathroom.

"Much, but I'll probably be back there in another hour. She's having a bladder punching day," I explain.

"Then I'd best make the most of our window of opportunity. Come," he says, leading me over to the bed sitting opposite the large windows that seem to lead out to a balcony with views of the space needle beyond. He lies me down, leaning back against the pillows, before setting down beside me and once again pulling my top up so he can see my belly.

"Do you think she'll move again?" he asks as he rubs his hand over my belly, and then leans forward to plant small delicate kisses across it.

"Probably," I say. "She can hear you too, so you can talk to her. They say she'll learn to recognize our voices, helping her to find them soothing when she's born."

He suddenly looks so sad. "I'm missing out on so much. I want to be able to talk to her every night."

"And you can," I reassure him. "When you call you can spend some time talking to her on the phone. I've been playing her your movies in the evenings," I confess, "so she may recognize your voice already."

"You have?" he says, chuckling. "I hope you've avoided the sex scenes." I blush. I've certainly not been avoiding seeing my sexy boyfriend get his kit off for the camera, even if it was with another woman. A girl's got to get her kicks somehow.

"What's that blush for, Bella? Have you been watching sex scenes while I've not been able to perform my boyfriend duties? You're not watching porn are you?"

"No!" I yell. "Just you … I missed you," I confess.

His teasing smile disappears, replaced by a serious look. "I've missed you too, Beautiful, and I'm so sorry I can't be there for you at the moment."

"You're here now, so let's make the most of it," I say, running my fingers up his arm, feeling he flex of his bicep and coming to rest on his shoulder.

The serious, almost worried look on his face goes. Now all I see is pure lust, as his mouth turns up into the lopsided smile that has melted my panties since I first met him. "Oh, I intend to make the most of you, Beautiful."

Then his hands are on me, my top is pushed all the way up and off before I even have time to think, and he starts to show me exactly what I've been missing, as his hands and mouth work their way down my body. He stops briefly at my breasts, releasing them from the confines of my bra then takes each nipple in turn into his mouth. Teasing them, and me, to the point of desperation.

He kisses down my stomach, whisper a few words on the way that I'm not able to hear, and I'm not sure if they are directed to me or our daughter. He then pulls my designer, expandable, pregnancy jeans down my legs, along with my underwear. He leans back and looks at me, lying totally naked in front of him. I feel a little self-conscious under his scrutiny, worried about the changes pregnancy has brought about, but he soon puts my mind at rest as his eyes meet mine and all they hold is awe, love and a large dose of lust.

"I knew this body would only get more beautiful as this pregnancy progressed, and I wasn't wrong," he says, looking back down at me. "This weekend isn't going to be long enough for me to show you just how much I've missed you. I wish I could take you back to Vancouver with me."

I have no chance to answer as he leans down, once again claiming my mouth with his, our tongues entwining is a fevered passionate battle. Then his hand is there, between my legs. He runs his palm up my inner thigh, before reaching the point where I need to feel him most. "You are so wet, Beautiful. I can't wait to be buried deep inside you. Please tell me you want me." As he talks his talented fingers run up my exposed lips, reaching my clit and circling, before running back down, and almost, but not quite, dipping inside my core.

"I want you so much," I admit as his mouth moves away from mine back to that favorite spot below my ear.

"I don't know what to do first," he murmurs against my enflamed flesh, "I want to taste you so much, to watch you come undone as I go down on you, but I also want to feel you tighten around my cock as I suck on your delectable tits. Tell me Bella, what should I do first?"

The hand that's not teasing my clit is now fondling my right breast, and my nipple is as hard as a bullet as he continues to suck on my neck. The feelings are too great for my sex starved body, and all I can do is whimper. How can I make a decision like that?

"I just need you," I manage to breathe out. "Please, Edward, I need you so much."

"And you will have me, Beautiful."

I let out another long moan as one of his fingers finally enters me, plunging in deep as his thumb hits my clit. "I'll never get tired of the noises you make, Bella. Are you close? What do you need? Tell me and it's yours."

He adds a second finger, filling me further and taking me higher, as his lips work their way down my cleavage and fasten themselves to my nipple, sucking, biting, licking, caressing. My back aches of the bed as I'm consumed by sensations and my inner muscles clench around his fingers.

"Fuck, Bella," he mumbles against my sensitive nipple, sending cold waves of breathe over the wetted skin, adding yet more sensations to the already overwhelming mix. "You are so responsive. I love the way your body react to me. Give it to me, beautiful, let go." And as his expert tongue once again finds my nipple I do just that, no longer able to hold back. I shout his name as I squeeze his fingers hard and wave after wave runs through my body.

As I come down he removes his fingers from my core, and brings them up to his mouth, sucking them clean. It's one of the most erotic things I've ever seen, and I know I've not had enough of this man yet. I look him up and down, realizing he is still wearing his jeans.

"Get naked," I demand. "I need to see you, to feel you."

He doesn't need telling twice, jumping off the bed and swiftly removing first his jeans and then his boxers, before climbing back beside me on the bed. He pulls me on top of him. "Are you ready? Because this is going to be fast and hard. I've missed you too much to hold back," he warns.

I nod as I rise up. He reaches down, lining up his cock with my entrance, and I slide down his length, slowly and deliberately, reveling in the feeling of being filled by him. "Fuck, Beautiful, I've missed this so much. This feeling of you wrapped around me."

He places his hands on my hips and I start to move. He meets my movements, thrusting hard and deep, controlling the pace with his hands that dig into my sides, possessing me, owning me. Expletives leave his mouth as he starts to unwind.

"Touch yourself," he demands. "I'm not going to last long. You just feel too good." I know he's trying to hold back, to wait for me to join him, and to be honest, I'm right there with him. I allow one hand to snake down my body, reaching round my bump and finding my already sensitive clit. My other hand squeezes my breast as I look down at him. He is watching me right back. "Fuck, that's so hot," he breathes. "God, Bella, I'm coming, I'm coming, please." His head rolls back as he reaches his ecstasy, and the feel of him pulsing inside me, combined with the look in his eyes as he comes, sends me over the edge to join him.

As we both come down from our release he sits up to wrap his arms around me, still buried deep inside me, connected in the most intimate of ways.

Our daughter chooses that moment to make her presence known, giving a large kick that makes Edward draw back from me, pulling out and looking a little alarmed. "Do you think she knows what we were just going?"

I give a small chuckle. "She has no idea. She probably just found the movement soothing. But now she's awake and I think our daughter might be indicating she's hungry." Okay, it's really me that's hungry, it's been at least three hours since I last ate. I need food little and often at the moment.

"And what exactly does our daughter crave to eat," he asks reaching for the room service menu, but I don't need that. I know what I want.

"I think she needs a cheese omelet with extra of cheese. I'm talking mountains of cheese … and salami. Loads of that too. In the omelet. Oh, and there has to be mustard on the side. Make sure they don't forget the mustard."

He looks at me with a smile. "Are you getting cravings?" he asks, as he reaches for the phone, presumable to call room service.

I nod. "They just started this week. I can't get enough eggs. With cheese, salami and mustard. It has to have cheese, salami and mustard."

As he puts in the call another thought occurs to me. "Oh, and if you can get them to bring me up some peanut butter cups I'll love you forever."

Room service promise Edward they will find some peanut butter cups after he explains he has a pregnant woman with cravings. He then ensures I build up more of an appetite as we wait for the food to arrive, rolling us over and slowly and gently making love to me. After our frenzied, lust filled first time this is a whole other experience. We stare into each other eyes and he tells me he loves me, and I reciprocate the words, as we find our release in each other arms, his eyes never leaving mine.

The rest of the weekend is filled with copious amounts of eggs, interspersed by hours of nakedness and love making. I lose count of the number of times he makes me come, and I make the most of having his body available to me, reacquainting myself with every inch of it. We make the most of the large bath, as well as the shower, and he even takes me once against the glass window, looking out over the dark Seattle sky line.

It's a magical weekend, but it is over too soon. We leave each other with promises of regular calls and frequent updates. I have an appointment with Jess next week and he is going to arrange to be available to attend via skype. He also makes me promise to send him regular pictures of my growing bump and to let him talk to the baby each night.

~H~

It's early March when he finally comes back to me. I only have him for two weeks, after which he has to do some promotional work, both in LA and Europe, for his latest movie release. But following that he will be all mine, right through the birth and on till August, giving him plenty of time to bond with his new daughter.

True to his word, he has talked to both me and my bump every night. He has also been calling my kids to catch up. Embry has been disappearing into his room to talk to him for long periods. I'm not sure what they discus, but I'm glad they are bonding and are able to talk. I think he misses having his dad to talk to, and if Edward can be a male sounding board I'm happy he can have that.

Kim also loves talking to him on skype and sharing her latest obsession with him. This month she is all about the friendship bracelet. She has even sent him a few and makes sure he is wearing them every time he calls. Jared is a little quieter. He's never liked talking on skype, or over the phone, but he says his hello's and occasionally will tell Edward something that has happened to him at school that day. He does, however, tell me to text Edward with his baseball scores whenever his team wins, and beams with pride when Edward texts back his congratulations, so I think their relationship is going to be fine.

We kick off our two weeks together with a mini vacation. The kids have the Monday off school, so Edward has booked a secluded cabin by an isolated beach near the southern end of Washington State. We spend our days playing in rock pools and skimming stones, and our evenings sat around drift wood fires, making smores and sharing childhood stories. The only people we see are an elderly couple, who spend a couple minutes making small talk with us each day as they walk their two golden retrievers along the beach.

It is an idyllic break that really allows us all to get to know each other more. But before I know it we have to head back to Forks. After the way my family reacted to Edward the last time he was there, I'm determined to allow them time to get to know this man who is becoming very important to my life. So we have dinner at my place with Leah and her family, and I find Sam and Edward share a sense of humor.

We also spend time at Charlie and Sue's, and he's begrudgingly starting to warm up to Edward, especially after seeing how attentively Edward cares for me in my now ballooning state.

Obviously my girls, Jess and Ang, also want their part of the action. Edward and I are still keeping a low profile, and we've so far still managed to keep our relationship under wraps, so being seen in public is out of the question, but we go round to Angela's at the weekend, and Jess joins us. She also brings along Dr. Sex for us all to meet. He seems a really nice guy. Very tall and attractive. He seems to absolutely adore Jess and it's nice to see someone making a fuss of her for once.

It's towards the end of the second week that the little bubble we've been living in bursts.

Edward has taken to driving me to the school to drop off the kids. He then waits in the car, unobserved, whilst I walk them to the door. I'm just returning to the car on the Wednesday morning when Mike decides to approach me. He's tried to talk to me a couple times over the past two months, each time getting a little more insistent.

"Bella, please, we need to talk," he starts, blocking my path back to the car.

"No, Mike. I've said all I want to say to you. Now, please, leave me alone." I try to dodge around him.

"Bella, please," he says, grabbing my arm and twisting me back around to face him. "This is ridiculous. You've known me since we were kids. You've known him for all of five minutes. I don't understand how you can put him above me. Above our friendship."

I look down at his hand, gripping hard to my upper arm. "Mike, I suggest you let go of me," I say through clenched teeth.

"No, Bella, not until you listen to what I have to say."

"I strongly advice you do as Bella asked." The words come from behind me and the threat implied in them is backed up by the rough, deep tone.

Mike looks over my shoulder. "This is between me and Bella," he says, "I just want to talk to my friend."

"She has made it perfectly clear she doesn't want to talk to you, so take your hand off her. Now." I glance over my shoulder at Edward. His eyes are dark and inflamed. It is clear to me he means business.

"And are you going to make me?" taunts Mike, still not letting go of my arm.

Edward takes a step closer to Mike, his obvious height advantage become clear. "If I have to," he practically growls at Mike.

I see Mike swallow and take a step back, away from the imposing façade of my boyfriend. He is obviously intimidated and I see resignation wash over his face, before a hard expression takes its place. He finally drops my arm and looks as if he's going to leave, but before he does he shoots one last barb over the parapet. "She's not worth it anyway. Who knows where she's been," he looks me up and down, a sneer on his face, "I'm not interested in used goods."

The next thing I know Mike is lying flat on his back on the pavement, clutching at the left side of his face whilst Edward looms over him. "You talk to Bella again, you go near Bella again, you even look at her again and I'll see to it you get another black eye to go with that one," Edward snarls down at a cowering Mike. "Do I make myself clear?"

Mike nods.

I take a deep breath. My heart is pounding. I look around. Shit. While all this has been going on we've attracted quite a crowd. Several moms are standing there, looking shocked and whispering to each other. I also spot some mobile phones out, catching the action. Damn. It looks as though the cat is out of the bag.

Edward moves away from Mike and comes to stand in front of me. "Are you okay, Beautiful?" he asks, looking down at me as he rubs the tops of my arms, before bringing one hand up to gently stroke my cheek.

I'm captured by his eyes and I give a small nod before he bends down to give me the barest brush of a kiss, his hand continuing to caress my cheek. It's hardly there but it says so much and I find myself melting into him. As he pulls away our eyes are still locked and I could remain like this forever, lost in our own little bubble.

But then I hear the murmurs around us and I look at the gathered crowd once again. Edward follows my gaze, seeming to take in our audience for the first time. He looks back at me, staring deep into my eyes once more, as if he can't get enough. "Well I suppose we had to come out at some point?" he looks a little sheepish and I just want to have him take me in his arms and whisk me away from this situation. I've never enjoyed being the center of attention.

"Are you Edward Cullen?" I hear from over my left shoulder and I look towards the speaker. I recognize her as Tracey, one of the more outspoken parents from Jared's class. We aren't exactly friends, her son, Philip, and Jared don't hang with the same crowd, but we exchange the odd hello and we're civil to each other.

Edward continues to look at me as I glance back at him. "Yes, I am," he says without looking away. He seems to be watching me closely for a reaction, his eyebrows drawn together in concentration, as if he expects me to freak out any minute. Personally I don't know what to do. Edward Cullen has just defended my honor by punching another man in the school car park. In front of witnesses. How do you react to that?

"And you're dating Bella?" Tracey continues to throw questions at us. "Wait," she continues, "are you the daddy? Is that your baby?" She sounds shocked, as if she can hardly believe that Edward would have anything to do with me. Or perhaps I'm being paranoid.

Edward sighs before looking up. "Yes, Bella and I are expecting a child together and we are very much in love," he looks back to me and smiles, a smile that melts my heart. Hearing him publically declare his love for me like that is amazing. "But, as I'm sure you can appreciate, we value our privacy. So if you don't mind we'll end this pantomime here."

He reaches down and takes hold of my hand before leading me back to the car.

Yep. The cat is definitely out the bag.


	31. Chapter 31 - The Story Breaks

**Betered by Robstenfanpire - Thank you. Any errors are mine as I did a bit of a tweak to the lemon after she sent it back as I realised I was channelling the wrong Edward with the original version. A version of that lemon will no doubt appear in my other WIP at some point in the not too distant future.**

 **Obviously the characters are not owned by me.**

* * *

 **Chapter 31 - The Story Breaks**

Over the next several hours I worry myself stupid. I keep scanning the internet for pictures of Edward landing a punch on Mike, or us kissing in the street, but so far none seem to have surfaced. Life goes on. We pick the kids up from school. Embry goes to Alex's to practice with the band. Jared goes to Karate. We have a nice family meal. We put the kids to bed. Kim choosing Edward to read to her tonight. Apparently he does the voices better than me. We snuggle up on the sofa with a movie and a beer for Edward and a cool glass of water for me.

The movie is good, and I try to immerse myself in it, but my brain just won't turn off. Both Edward and I are convinced the press will be on our door step sooner rather than later. In fact, Edward is so convinced he's called his security guys to get a couple people sent up, just in case. We've also let Charlie know what's happened. He's in turn been in contact with Leah and the rest of the local force, and they are ready in case of any trouble. Neither of us is too sure of how many paparazzi would actually come all the way to Forks to get a picture of us, but we don't want to take any chances.

It's around ten that evening that Alice gives us the call. The story has broken. She directs us to TMZ who she says have the most extensive coverage.

"You need to see it Bella," she chirps. Edward has put her on speaker phone so we can both hear her and for some reason she sounds happy. I'm just anxious as hell and terrified to find out what they are actually saying about me … us.

I quickly pull up TMZ on my laptop while Edward talks to Alice. And there we are. The picture is stunning. I'm not sure who got it, but they have captured me and Edward as we were gazing into each other's eyes. The love between us seems to just ooze off the screen.

"Wow!" is the only response I can muster.

"I know," swoons Alice, "isn't it just the most amazing picture. You could pay a million photographers and they'd fail to capture what that one cell phone picture has."

"Where did it come from?" asks Edward as I start to scroll down to read the article. He angles the screen slightly so he can read over my shoulder.

"It was posted on Facebook, and it has started to go viral," says Alice. "It's a real hit. People seem to love the romance of it. You two falling in love and having a baby and Edward defending your honor. Of course there are those haters out there who think no one is good enough for Edward. Well, apart from themselves that is. Oh, and those who can't let go of the Edward and Tanya thing, who seem convinced this will never last and he's secretly pining after that skank still. But you can't win 'em all. The general consensus is good. In fact more than good."

By this stage Edward and I have got to the end of the TMZ article. There were a few other shots of Edward and me kissing and holding hands, some taken from another angle, so obviously from another person's phone, but there are none of the moments prior to that. None of Edward hitting Mike, and for that I'm grateful. It doesn't mean they're not out there waiting to surface later, and the article does mention the fight, but to some degree it's lost in the news that Edward is no longer single and is having a baby.

We say our goodbyes to a gushing Alice, and Edward makes a few phone calls to confirm security will be here in the morning, and to alert Charlie and Leah. Leah promises a patrol car will swing by the house periodically, and will let us know of anything suspicious. She says the guys down the station are a little over excited. This is big news for Forks.

By the time he's finished I feel exhausted, probably from the nervous tension I've been feeling all day, so we head off to bed. However, once we're there, I find I'm still restless, and my mind just won't shut down. After what feels like the millionth time of rearranging my lying position I hear a sigh behind me, and I feel myself pulled back sharply into two strong arms. "Well if you've no intention of sleeping I can think of much better ways to ruffle up the sheets then your current methods."

His voice is husky and as he talks his fingers creep under the t-shirt of his I've taken to sleeping in, rubbing up my now very prominent stomach before coming to rest cupping my breasts. I can feel his breath, warm at the back of my neck.

"Just relax, Beautiful, and let me get rid of some of that tension," he murmurs into my skin. His lips brush against my neck and it sends shivers down my spine. This man knows just how to distract my previously occupied mind. Now all I can think about is the way his fingers are pulling on my nipples with just the right amount of pressure, and how his lips are kissing and sucking their way down my enflamed skin. He adds little nips with his teeth, before soothing the slight sting with a lick of his tongue.

His left hand, which is wrapped under my body, continues to work its magic on my breasts, alternating between concentrating on the nipple with pulls and tweaks, and giving the whole breast some much needed attention, just the way I like it. But his right hand slides out of my shirt and skims over the top of my panties. It's not where I want him. I want to feel him against my flesh. They have to go, and soon.

"Edward …" I plead, needing more.

"Shhhh," he whispers, the vibration of the sound against my wet, sensitive neck taking me a step higher, and my breathing picks up further. "All in good time. I'll get to everywhere you want me to be, Beautiful, but tonight I want to take things slow. I want to enjoy every inch of this gorgeous body. I want you to remember how I touch you, how I make you feel, how I make you come. I'm going to make you feel so good that tomorrow all you can think about is the feel of my lips, my hands, my cock, on and in your body."

As he talks his hand runs over my thighs in long strokes, each one taking him closer to my core. His long fingers then wrap around my leg, lifting it up and back over his, opening me up and allowing him access. Access I'm desperate for him to take advantage of. He continues to work his mouth over my neck and shoulder, as his fingers creep up my inner thigh. They rub against the thin material of my panties, drawing a sharp intake of breath from me. I'm so on fire it's not going to take much to send me over the edge. He was right, by body is full of tension. This is just what I need.

He pulls his fingers up the front of the silky material, over my engorged clit, sending fresh waves of pleasure through my body. They continue up, to the edge of my underwear, and then they come back down again, but this time they are under the material, against my skin, and the pleasure is a magnitude higher. I feel the rough skin of his middle finger rub down over my clit again, then down to my entrance and I know it will only take a couple more stokes like that to allow all the stress to leave my body. But it would appear he wants to draw things out. His hands stop moving, cupping me. One hand holds my left breast firmly but tenderly, his other lies along my lips, his finger tip resting at my entrance, but not going in. He must know I'm close, he must know what I want. I need this so badly. I need to come. "Shhh," he whispers once again into my neck, "not yet, Beautiful, it will be so much better for the waiting."

Then his hands are gone. But then so are my panties. His hand pushes them down as far as he is able, before his feet push them further, and with my help they are soon totally removed. His talented fingers give my core a quick rub before he wraps his hand around my upper thigh again, ensuring it is locked firmly over his, making sure I'm open fully. Then I can feel him there. The end of his hard length is pushing tentatively at my opening, but not quite going in. I need him so bad. "Please, Edward, please," I beg. I feel his lips turn up against my neck and I know he is loving this. "Are you ready, Beautiful?" he asks. I respond with a moan. What does he think? "I'll take that as a yes," he says with a chuckle and then with one quick thrust of his hips he is in me, and it's just what I need.

His movements start out slow and sensual, but they soon build. His hand keeps working my breast, and the other moves back to my clit as his movements get faster and harder. I know he's getting close and there is no way I can hold off much longer. I need this so much.

The feelings build and my whole body seems on fire with his touch. I cry out as my climax hits, the sound being another way for me to allow the tension to get out. I'm still riding it out as he gives another couple of deep thrusts and then stills deep inside me as he cries out his own release.

It takes a few moments for my body to start to come down from its high, but eventually I start to relax and my breathing starts to regulate again. He slides out of me, his fingers giving my clit a final rub as he also removes his hand from my over sensitive core, sending another shiver through my body that makes him chuckle into my neck.

He wraps his arms around me holding me close as I relax against him. "Fuck me!" I whisper as my eyes start to close.

I feel him chuckle, yet again. "I think I just did, Beautiful. Now sleep."

He's right. My body is limp, there is no tension to be found anywhere, and my mind is only filled with the memory of those sensations he's just give me, and it is mere moments before I'm asleep, still wrapped in his arms.

~H~

The next morning we go through our usual routine, getting the kids ready for school. The only difference today is the two large men in black suits who turn up about half an hour before we have to leave the house. They report that the area outside looks clear, with no suspicious cars loitering around. They hang around the kitchen, seeming to take up all the available space, drinking my offered coffee, as I attempt to explain their presence to the kids in the living room. Embry and Jared get it. They are of the age where they understand what being a celebrity is. Kim is a little more confused. If anything she seems excited that people may want to photographer her, and she runs off to get her own camera. The next thing I know she is snapping Edward at very close range declaring she is a 'pizza-ritzza'.

Eventually we are all ready to go. I peer out the window and it all looks clear, but as I watch I see a large, white van pull up outside, and out climbs a tall, thin, well presented woman followed by a scruffily dressed, blonde man holding a camera.

'Shit!" I announce.

"You said a bad word," pipes up Kim, her eyes going wide.

I sigh. "Sorry, Kim, but it looks like you may not be the only paparazzi around here this morning."

Edward and the men in black come to peer out from behind the curtain as the two reporters start to approach the house.

"Okay," says man in black one, the smaller of the two, I think he said he's name was Alec, "here's the plan. I would suggest Edward stays in the house to minimize attention, whilst Felix and I get you and the kids into your car. I'll then drive the car to the school for you and the two of us will help you get them inside safety before bringing you back home."

"No. No way," says Edward. "There is no way I'm letting Bella and the kids go out to face this alone while I stay here and hide. We will be facing them together."

"I strongly advise against that, Mr. Cullen. But you are the boss. If you do insist on coming the plan will be the same, but we should expect a more forceful attempt to talk to you by any press we encounter. From my experience you will be seen as fairer game than the children and Mrs. Black."

"I understand your feelings, Alec, but I need to show the world that I'm with Bella and will stand up for her and her children." He turns to me. "Bella, ultimately it's in your hands. I don't want you to have to face this alone, but if you would rather try and minimize the attention by not having me there then I will do as you ask."

I think for a moment. Yes, it may lead to less attention if we pretend Edward is not here, but ultimately they are going to keep hounding us until they get that picture of us together. I also don't think I can do this without him, without his support. I imagine walking out this house, without him at my side, to face the cameras and I feel physically sick. I need him there, giving me strength.

"I need you, Edward," I say, "and they may back off quicker if they get what they came for."

Edward nods to Alec, who nods back his assent, before man in black two, Felix, goes to open the door. I pull Kim close to my side, reaching out my other hand to Jared as he moves close to me, looking nervous. I watch Embry stand up tall, and look towards Edward, perhaps for reassurance this will be okay. I hate that this situation is making them anxious, and try to act calm for their sake, even though I'm feeling anything but.

"It's just one team," Edward reassures us. "Think of this as practice for when the real hordes descend. Embry, stick close to me. Bella, keep the other two at your sides. Keep your heads down and keep moving. Don't answer any questions or even acknowledge them in any way. They will try to get a reaction, but just do your best to ignore them." He looks around at our worried faces. I attempt to give him a reassuring smile, but I can't hide my nerves. He leans forward and gives me a brief kiss, and it helps. "It will be okay. Just a couple reporters. Nothing to worry about. Beside Felix and Alec won't let anything happen, right guys?"

"Right, boss," replies Felix in a deep, but cheery voice.

"Ready?" Edward asks. We all nod and then Felix opens the door.


	32. Chapter 32 - Press Intrusion

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape. I have to admit I did tweak it a little after she read it, so any mistakes are all mine.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 32 - Press Intrusion**

As soon as Felix opens the door the camera start flashing. Felix is taking up most of the entrance, and I doubt the camera man is getting any clear shots of us, but I still pull back, drawing Kim and Jared closer. I look to Edward who reaches forward, wrapping his much larger hand around mine and Kim's.

Felix loams over the two intruders, the man with his camera, the woman with her microphone, as they throw unanswered question after unanswered question at us.

"You are currently on private property," he booms. "I suggest, if you don't want the local constabulary hauling your asses away, you back up to the edge of the property now."

He leans forward slightly, adding more threat to his words. I see the woman take a step back, but the man is still persistently trying to get the lens of his camera around Felix, presumably to get a clear shot of me and Edward behind.

Then, as if on cue, I see the familiar sight of a Forks PD cruiser pull up outside the house. Whoever is inside gives a short burst on the siren, alerting everyone to their presence.

The two reporters look round as Leah exits the car, and I've never been so relieved to see her. She wears a very stern look on her face, and is followed by her partner, the very burly looking Brady. They stroll up the path, hands on gun belts, chests out and proud. Brady's intimidating look is softened slightly by the huge grin on his face.

"Do you have permission to be on this property?" enquires Leah, obviously knowing the answer before she asks.

"We just want to ask these folks some questions. We haven't broken any laws." It's the wiry man who has spoken. I take a closer look at him. He has long hair that is tied back in a low pony tail and it looks like it's not been washed in a few days. His face is angular and narrow, but not overly unattractive, if you like that sort of thing, despite looking like he's slept in his clothes. His partner in crime, by comparison, is immaculately set out, in a knee length skirt, sharp white button down shirt and the tallest pair of pumps I've ever seen in Forks.

Leah turns to Felix. "Do the occupants of this house want these people here? Have they asked them to leave?" Leah obviously knows we don't want them here, but I assume she has to follow protocol.

"I was just asking them to vacate the property, at the request of the owner, as you arrived, officer," said Felix, smirking at my sister.

"Well, you heard the gentleman. You've been asked to leave. Now I suggest to comply. Unless you want to take a ride in my cruiser."

"You have no right to arrest us," started the man, but as he spoke both Brady and Felix stepped towards him. Brady, whilst nowhere near the size of Felix, was still large, and the two of them together formed a formidable sight.

"Come on, James," said the woman, touching his arm and starting to back away. "We can get our pictures from outside the property. That is unless Mr. Cullen and Mrs. Black would be willing to give a short interview? The public just want to know a little of your story." She looks back towards the door and raises her voice slightly, obviously directing her comments at us.

"My clients just wish to go about their business and won't be granting any interviews today. If you wish to approach them for a formal interview you will need to go through Mr. Cullen's agent. I'm sure you have their number." As Felix talks he keeps moving forward, backing the two reporters towards the fence around the edge of my property, until they are eventually outside. He and Brady then continue to stand in front of them, as Alec gives us the signal.

I take a deep breath, and with Alec leading the way, I subject my children to their first experience of the press. We hastily climb into the waiting SUV parked on the drive. As we leave the house the woman throws questions in our direction: Are we together? Are we getting married? Is the baby Edward's? When is the baby due? How did we meet? We ignore them all.

The drive to the school is uneventful, but the kids seem a little shell shocked. And I suppose I am too. Edward tries to put all our minds at rest, assuring us that the next few days may be a little rough, but that they will soon get bored and things will quieten down, especially once he's left for his promotional work. I hope he's right.

When we arrive at the school there appear to be no press around. Even so, Edward waits in the car with Alec whiles I take the kids in, flanked by Felix. He's an intimidating sight and draws looks from the other parents. I feel their stares on me and I wonder what they are all thinking. I'm sure I'll be the topic of gossip for a while.

Once back at the house we hurry inside, as the still lone camera flashes at us from the sidewalk. I sigh of relief leaves me as I shut the door. If this is all the attention we are going to get I think I can cope.

But, as the morning progresses, I learn this was just the first wave. Each time I glance out through the closed curtains there seem to be more people standing outside my gates, clutching steaming coffee in styrofoam cups and flicking cigarette ash into my flower beds. Occasionally one or two have attempted to walk up to the house to ring the bell, but Alec or Felix have dealt with them quickly.

I move from room to room, pacing like a caged bear. As the waiting numbers grow I start to worry about what is going to happen when we go back to the school later, but around midday I get a call from Leah informing me she will be collecting the kids and taking them around to Sue and Charlie's for the afternoon. I agree without hesitation.

In between his futile attempts to distract me, Edward speaks with his agent and they release the pre-written statement, that doesn't really say much beyond the fact that Edward and I are in a relationship and are very happy to be expecting our first child.

I'm acutely aware that, unfortunately, this is Edward's last night in Forks, and to say I'm apprehensive about him leaving me to the press is a serious understatement. Even though Felix and Alec will be sticking around, and everyone keeps assuring me the initial interest will soon blow over, I'm terrified.

~H~

"I can't believe I had to miss rehearsals with the band last night," laments Embry moodily.

"Sorry, Embry, it couldn't be helped," I apologize. I hate it as much as he does that the current situation is disrupting his normal life.

It's day two of being in the public's eye, and I've just picked the kids up from school. They spent last night at Charlie's, but tonight they are back with me. Edward left a couple hours ago, and life goes on. It can't be avoided. At least this is what I'm telling myself. The truth is I'm already missing him terribly and long for these two weeks to be over. It's going to be a tough two weeks too. He is travelling so much, and passing through different time zones, attending the premier of his film in various cities, both State side and in Europe, so contact is going to be difficult.

We said our goodbyes around midday, in the privacy of my living room. I clung to him, trying to hold back my tears, and he whispered reassurances into my hair. I know he understands I'm worried and he made promised to text and call whenever he was able. He continued to offer me almost constant promises that in a few days of nothing happening the press will get bored and go and find someone else to bother. I hope he's right.

Alec drove him to Seattle, leaving me with Felix, and, even though I hardly know the man, I do find his presence something of a comfort. Having him in the house this afternoon also gave me something to do. While Edward was there Felix insisted I not lift a finger for him, but now he was gone he has allowed me to make him sandwiches and copious cups of coffee. I think he senses I want to be busy. I did manage to squeeze in a therapy session with Nibbles the rabbit, who listened quietly while I stroked his ears and I told him how much I was missing Edward, despite him only been gone a couple hours.

"We are trying to get the new song finished. It's been bugging me and I think I've finally got it, but I need to try it with the guys," continues Embry, bringing my mind back to the present.

I see Felix looking around the car, studying the rear view mirror intensely.

"We don't seem to be followed," he says. "I don't think we'd have a problem if we drop him at his friend's house. I could pick him up again later. If he stays inside then he should be perfectly safe."

While I don't want the kids lives disrupted any more than they have to be, I'm still a little reluctant. The reports seem to be everywhere, there were even a couple at the school. Felix kept them back while I got the kids from their school room door, the teachers having been asked not to let them out until I got there.

"Can I, mom? Please," asks Embry.

I glance at Felix, who gives me a small nod. I suppose I should trust his opinion on this, after all he is the expert. "As long as you promise me you won't leave the house and to call me if there is any trouble or sign of the press," I reply.

"No problem," he says, with a wide grin. It's nice to make him happy. "Oh, by the way," he continues, "Jemma and Maddie asked to come over this weekend. They were very keen." His wide smirk says a lot. He's tried to hide it but little clues have let me know that he's had a crush on Maddie for weeks.

"Oh?" I question. "What's caused their sudden interest? They've never been over before."

"Well, it would appear having a mom who's dating a film star may have some perks. I think Jemma may have a crush on Edward, and were Jemma goes, Maddie goes." He is really smirking now. Is my son taking advantage of the fact that teenage girls may find Edward Cullen a little attractive? I'm not sure if I approve of this.

"Have you told them he left today?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at him as I turn back to watch his expression.

"They didn't ask, I didn't tell," he says with a shrug.

"I don't know if I approve of you using Edward to pick up girls."

He rolls his eyes. "Don't worry mom, I told them. Jemma was a little pissed off, but Maddie said she'd still like to hang out some time. We might go to the mall in Port Angeles with a few others at the weekend, if you could drive us over."

"I don't know, Embry. It depends on the press situation. Perhaps when things have quietened down a little." I look at Felix for confirmation.

He shrugs. "If Alec or I are there we should be able to manage it. The press is unlikely to follow any of the children. There are laws around them being photographed or harassed. But all the same, one of us should go with him, just to be on the safe side."

"We'll see how it goes," I concede, still not totally happy.

"Thanks, mom," he says with a cheeky smile, clearly thinking he's won this one.

~H~

As it turns out Embry does make it to Mall. Saturday morning sees a significant reduction in the number of people camped outside my house. News of Edward leaving for his film release promotional work has obviously had an effect. I also think the near constant rain we've had over the last few days is getting to them. I'm still keeping the curtains closed and the flashes of the cameras every time we step outside are still enough to give me a headache. As are the constantly repeated questions. You'd think they'd get the hint that we are not going to answer.

Edward skyped last night to check how everything is doing. I miss him terribly, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. In two weeks we will be with him in LA for spring break. Two weeks is nothing, compared to the months we've already endured. At least that's what I keep telling myself. Somehow, though, having spent the last two weeks with him, the separation seems worse.

He tells me the added publicity our relationship has garnered is being welcomed by the studio, who see anything that draws attention to Edward and the film as good news. I'm glad it's good news for someone. He shrugs of my concerns about him getting awkward interview questions about us, reassuring me he is good at being evasive, after all, he's had lots of practice.

Me, I spend the weekend avoiding leaving the house, which I hate. I'm really starting to feel claustrophobic. Leah and Sam, with their kids, along with Charlie and Sue, come over for a family meal on Saturday evening, and it's nice to get some normality. As they arrive and leave they do their best to ignore the questions thrown at them, although I see my dad, and Leah, tense up at some of the more personal questions. The one's designed to get a reaction. But Alex has warned them about this tactic and they play their role well. I just wish my family didn't have to go through this.

Over the next week we start to venture out more, and life goes on. I take the kids to and from school. They attend their extra curricula activities. I do the shopping and even visit Angela, and each day there are less and less people Felix and Alex have to push through to allow us to come and go. Life feels almost normal, except that every day I miss Edward more. I miss him stroking my belly as I drop off to sleep. I miss his soft kisses as I wake in the morning. I miss the little things he does to help me around the house, like running upstairs to collect Kim's shoes, as it's harder for me with my pregnant belly, or helping me with dinner in the evenings. I miss the way he helps me to put on my socks and rubs my back and feet to remove the aches and pains at the end of the day. I miss the way he looks at me once the kids are in bed. And I certainly miss the things that look inevitable leads to once I drag him off to our bedroom.

By the end of the second weekend without Edward I'm getting snappy and irritable, as I don't sleep as well without him, and I'm prone to cry at the drop of a hat. But I blame that on the pregnancy hormones. There are now just two photographers left, a middle aged, beer bellied, balding man, who always seems to have a half smoked cigarette hanging from his mouth, and the blonde, greasy, skinny guy, who was the first to arrive with the immaculate, high heeled reporter. She's nowhere to be seen. We are obviously last week's news to her. I wonder why these two have decided to stick around when all the rest have gone, but figure they probably don't have families waiting for them back in LA. Cruel I know, but they've not exactly made my life easy.

It is Tuesday of the second week when I look out my window in the morning and, for the first time since the story broke, I see no rental cars parked in the street, and there is no one hanging off my fence, dropping litter and ash in my flower beds.

On Wednesday, when I talk to Edward, we decide we can stand down Alec and Felix. So on the Thursday I get to drive my own car again. Life is back to normal, at least here in Forks. I'm under no illusion that we will escape attention when we fly to LA at the weekend, but for the time being I'm enjoying having my life back.

That all changes on Friday.

It's Angela who bursts my bubble. She phones me almost as soon as I get in from taking the kids to school.

"Bella, have you looked on the internet this morning?" she bursts out breathlessly, without even bothering to say hello.

"No," I reply curiously. "To which part of the internet in particular are you referring?"

"Well, I've been monitoring news stories," she continues, "especially, what they have to say about you."

"Oh?" I prompt. Personally I've been avoiding it. I'd rather not know what they have to say about me.

"Yeah. Ben helped me set up an alert that lets me know when new stories brake about you or Edward. So far the response to you has been fairly positive. Mainly due to that initial loved up picture of the two of you, I think. Of course, there are always those who won't think you're good enough. Those who preferred him with Tanya or Victoria, those who think he shouldn't be with someone older, or who has kids, but on the whole it's been positive."

As she talks I wander upstairs. We leave tomorrow for LA and I need to make a start on the packing. I'm a little distracting, pondering how many of the Embry's shorts are still likely to fit him. The boy has had a bit of a growth spurt since coming to Forks. I might need to pop to Port Angeles this afternoon to pick up a few extra pairs.

"Bella, are you listening to me? This is important." She sounds really agitated, almost at the point of panic. I wonder what has happened. It can't believe it's anything 'real', no matter what they're reporting. Edward should be safely in the air, flying back from some European capital city, and we've not had any trouble here. But perhaps something _has_ happened to Edward. Fuck, his plane hasn't crashed has it? Maybe he was in an accident.

"You're worrying me now, Ang. Has something happened to Edward? Is he okay?"

"As far as I know, Edward is fine. It's you I'm worried about. Bella, I need you to load up your laptop."

"Ang, please just tell me." I rush down stairs to the lounge and open up my computer.

"You need to see this for yourself," she replies and quotes off a web page to me.

As the page opens so does my mouth; in shock. It appears to be a web page dedicated to hating me. There are pictures of me looking disheveled in the morning, others that have obviously come from my earlier days on Facebook, some with Jacob, and the hate seems to extend to him also, making my mouth drop open even further in shock. But before I can really take in any of this my eyes are drawn to the largest section which carries the headline of 'Breaking News'.

The picture it contains is a little grainy, as if it's been taken with a strong zoom lens, but when I click on it to open the story, it is clear enough. The picture is of me, in my bedroom, as I'm changing. I'm stood there for all the world to see, pregnant belly protruding, stretchmarks clearly visible, wobbly bum and all, in just my underwear.

A notice at the bottom promises viewers more pictures are available at the click of a button, as captions around the edge point out all my physical flaws, from my cellulite covered thighs to my less than buoyant breasts. It must have been taken early in the morning, as I obviously have no makeup on and my hair is everywhere.

I sit there just staring. I can't believe this exists. Someone has gone to the trouble of stalking me and setting up a hate page about me. A hate page that now contains near naked pictures of me.

"Ang…" I say, not knowing what else to add.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I hate being the one to tell you about this. The pictures have hit social media too, I'm afraid. They are springing up everywhere."

"Why would someone do this?" I ask, incredulously. I've not done anything to them. How can a complete stranger hate me so much?

"I don't know Bells, but I'm coming over now. While I'm on my way I want you to make sure all your curtains are shut, this creep could be anywhere and I don't want him getting any more shots of you. Can you contact Edward?"

"He's flying at the moment," I reply, my voice sounding flat and lifeless. As I talk to Ang I scroll down through the site and see more pictures of me from the last couple weeks in Forks, as well as quotes from local residents, some mentioning the short time between Jacob's death and me falling pregnant. There is the obvious speculation that the baby isn't Edward's, the implication being I've been sleeping around, as well as insinuations that I'm only with him for his money, or fame. There is a large write up about the altercation with Mike, which spins the truth in such a way as to make it look like Edward beat up an ex-boyfriend of mine, whose only crime was to try to talk to me. There is an accompanying picture of Mike with a black eye that I'm sure is photo shopped.

"Do you have any way to contact Felix or Alec? I'm worried whoever is behind this is lurking around Forks still," says Ang.

"Shit, Ang. Do you think the kids could be in danger?"

"It seems to be directed at you Bells. They've kept the kids out of it mainly, so I don't think so, but I also don't think you should take any risks."

"I'm going to call Leah, see if there's anything she can do."

"Good thinking, and I'm on my way."

Once Ang hangs up I just sit there for a few minutes, stunned. It's not the fact that someone has decided they don't like me that has me feeling this way. It's the level of hatred and the lengths they've gone to in expressing it. The web page is one thing, but to then go and get pictures of me in the privacy of my own home oversteps the mark. I hurry up to my bedroom, shutting all blinds and drapes that I pass on the way. I look out the back window of my bedroom. The back yard is contained by quite a high fence, but it backs onto the woods behind, giving plenty of trees for someone who was determined enough to climb.

I always close my curtains when changing and sleeping, and if you look closely in the picture you can see the edge of my maroon drapes. I pull the curtains closed and watch how they hang. There is a join in the center of the curtain pole that the loops get stuck on, so when closed quickly they hang with a small gap. I realize the voyeur must have taken advantage of this gap to get his or her clandestine pictures. I shudder at the thought of them watching me through a zoom lens and pull the curtains tightly together, shutting out the outside world. I feel violated. Someone has invaded my personal space and watched me in my most intimate moments.

I give the curtains a sharp yank, making sure they overlap, before climbing into my bed, curling up into a tight ball, and letting the tears fall. I've never needed my Cocktail Man more, but he's thousands of miles away and not contactable for several more hours.


	33. Chapter 33 - Kim

**I've taken some liberties with the layout of LAX for this chapter. Sorry if you know the airport well.**

 **Also a warning of angst this chapter. It was hard to write, as a mother myself, so you may also find it hard to read. If you want any reassurances etc, just drop me a PM. I have also put a small summary at the bottom, so if you have small kids and you're worried this chapter may trigger some bad memories, please skip there and see if it's for you.**

* * *

 **Chapter 33 – Kim**

The flight down to LA is totally uneventful. Kim is excited about seeing Edward's house and won't stop talking the whole way, asking questions about his pool, his cinema room, his bedrooms, his kitchen, hell, even his cars. Some I can answer, but many I can't. Jared and Embry are a little more subdued. I know they are worried about the press that we may encounter in LA.

I'm still reeling from the exposure I'd received the day before. Luckily the rumors hadn't hit the kids in school so they were none the wiser, but when I picked them up I got a few furtive looks and there were hushed whispers behind hands that suddenly stopped as I approached, so I knew some of the moms had seen the pictures. I didn't stop to find out their views. I kept my head down and just hurried in and out.

I dearly hope the kids won't get any comments at school. The spring break has come at the best time. Maybe by the time we get back to Forks everyone will have forgotten about it. Yep, I know, not likely. This is the biggest thing to hit Forks in a long time and some of those moms have very long memories. Besides, our presence in LA with Edward may just keep the rumor mill going for that bit longer.

I know I'd told Edward I could take whatever the press threw at us, but at the moment I'm not too sure. I feel vulnerable and exposed.

We talked at length last night, with me finally falling asleep staring at his face on skype. He called me again this morning, letting me know Felix would be meeting me at the airport, and Demetri would then drive us all back to his house. As anxious as I am about being in LA and having to potentially face the press again, especially after yesterday, I have to admit I'm desperate to see Edward again in the flesh. I need to feel his strong, protecting arms around me, to smell his scent, hell, to kiss his lips, just to know he's real and to remind myself why I'm putting my family though this.

Angela spent all of yesterday morning with me, trying to put my mind at rest that this will blow over, and people really aren't interested. I pointed out the visitor count to the site, which was rising into the hundred-thousands. Then open up all the sites I've found that had picked up the story and were discussing my naked body in depth.

Leah also came by to check out the back of the property. There were several footprints back there that she gets pictures of and a promise that she and the guys will be patrolling the area in case my stalker should show up again.

We exit the plane and make our way to baggage claim, where we are due to meet Felix.

"I'll help get the bags," offers Embry as we hurry along with the crowd from our flight.

"Thanks," I say smiling at him reassuringly, "Felix should be able to help too." As we enter the large hall I check the electronic board for our carousel number. Number one. Looking around it's at the far end of the hall. "This way," I say and lead the kids off, scanning the crowd for Felix as I go. He should stand out with his height and build, but I'm struggling to find him.

Suddenly I'm blinded by a flash. I stop and blink, trying to regain my vision as more flashes go off.

"That's it Bella, give us a smile. I assume you're here to see Edward Cullen? How long will you be here? What do you say to the reports in the press that the baby isn't Edward's? Has he really demanded a paternity test? There's a story circulating that he was seen out with Victoria last night. Is it true you had an argument about you sleeping around and that's why he's gone back to her? Are you in town to beg him to come back to you?"

The questions keep coming and I struggled around the blinding flashes to see who it is that is attacking us. It's the blonde paparazzi, the first one to come to Forks and the last one to leave. I briefly wonder if it was him that got the photos of me through my curtains. He certainly has seemed the most persistent. How did he know we would be here now?

As he flashes away, shouting questions at me, that I ignore while trying to get around him, I realize that the attention is drawing looks from other passengers, and, more importantly, other photographers, who are all starting to home in on us. It's not long until we are in the center of a large crowd and I'm finding it impossible to make any further progress. I don't know what to do. Kim and Jared are clinging to me, and Kim is looking very scared and on the verge of tears. Embry is trying his best to help me to push forward, but it's a losing battle.

Then I hear a deep voice I know. It speaks with authority underlined with mild threat.

"Let me though, you are currently hassling my client and not allowing her and her children to go about their business, it you don't step aside and allow them to progress I will not be held responsible for my actions."

Then Felix's large bulk is in front of me. "Sorry I didn't get to you sooner. Are you okay?" he says quietly, bending down to my level.

"We will be as soon as we get out of here," I say, keeping my grip on my kids.

"Well let's make that happen then." Felix turns and starts to clear a path of us to follow through the crowd. He uses his sheer presence to intimidate anyone who dares to get in our way. I see him heading towards the signs indicating the exit.

"Felix, wait," I say, "we need our bags."

"Don't worry about them for now. I'll text Alec from the car to come pick them up. For now let's just concentrating on getting you out and safe." As he talks he continues to push forward. We still have a large crowd around us and the questions continue to fly.

We are just approaching a flight of steps, which the signs indicate will take us down to the exit. I look down and I can just see the automatic door that will lead us away from this nightmare.

"Demetri is parked just outside those door," says Felix. "We're nearly there."

I pull Kim closer to my right side, ready to take her hand to help her down the step, but she is clinging tightly to my top, clearly terrified. On my other side is Jared, holding tightly onto my hand. Embry is just in front of me, sticking close to Felix for protection.

As we reach the top I hear a voice I'm rapidly learning to hate shout out, "Let me through, I need another shot. This is my story." I look back over my shoulder to see the greasy blonde journalist push forward, into a large female with a big black camera that she's just raised to her eye. She is clearly not expecting to be pushed and starts to stumble forward, into Jared. I grab him firmly and pull him sideways and behind me, out of her path, terrified she is going to fall and push him down the step, however as I turn, my shoulder on the other side is nudged and I start to lose my balance.

Time seems to draw out and it is as if everything happens in slow motion, etched on my brain to be replayed later in all its gory detail. I see Jared's other hand reach out to grab me firmly, pulling me upright as I teeter at the top of the steps, but I realize, too late, that my momentum has swung Kim out dangerously far. I turn to her, reaching out with my right hand to grab her but it's as if I'm moving in treacle, my arm moving treacherously slow. I feel her small hand slip from my top, unable to maintain its grip with the sudden, unexpected movement, and I see her fall backwards. She cries out in terror, and I'm sure my screams join hers, but all I can hear is her, and the sound as her head makes contacting with the hard steps as she summersaults down to the level below.

Everything goes quiet for a moment. A moment in which my heart doesn't beat, by lungs don't breath and my brain ceases thinking. The questions and camera flashes stop and we all stand there in horror. Kim is also silent. Shouldn't she be screaming? Why isn't she screaming? I convince my leaden feet to move, forcing my breath out to yelling at Felix to keep the boys safe, as I run to my little girl, who is lying, unmoving at the bottom of the stairs. As I get to her I bend down to take her into my arms.

"Stop," yells Felix, "don't move her. She could have a neck or back injury. Suddenly he's at my side, bending over her, his fingers to her neck, I assume checking for a pulse. I'm bent down at her side frozen in fear. She is still not moving and is clearly unconscious, her eyes closed. I notice one of her leg is bent at a strange angle, the pink of her leggings looking startling against the grey of the floor tiles, and assume it must be broken.

"What can I do? Felix, please, tell me what to do. Kim, Kim, can you hear me. Mommy's here, baby." I reach out a tentative hand and stroke the back of her fingers. "Please wake up. Talk to me, baby. Mommy needs you to wake up." I look up at Felix. "Why won't she wake up?" I look around at the crowd, made up of not just photographers, but the general public, drawn to the disaster in front of them. "Somebody help us, please. We need help." I plead.

I notice Felix is running his large hands gently over Kim's head and down her torso, all the while talking softly to her, coaxing her to respond. I look up at the sound of a voice of authority.

"Back away please, let us through." Suddenly there are official looking people around us wearing what looks like airport uniforms. One bends down and talks to Felix while others move the crowd back. Time seems to bend and warp for me. I watch the new comer, an older man with salt and pepper hair, look my daughter over, just as Felix had done previously. He assures me the ambulance will be here within moments.

The next thing I know Kim has a neck brace on and she is being maneuvered onto some kind of board before being lifted on to a gurney. Felix takes my arm and raises me to follow on behind my daughter. I look around and see Demetri guiding Jared and Embry out just behind us. Their faces are ashen and Jared has tracks down his face where he has obviously been crying. I start to worry about them too. I have to be with Kim, but my boys also need me.

We have arrived at the ambulance that is waiting just outside the entrance. I turn to my boys and pull them in close for a tight embrace. "She'll be okay," I reassure them, hoping I'm not lying. God. She has to be okay.

"Which hospital?" I hear Demetri ask from behind me.

"Children's Hospital," comes the quick, concise reply.

"You go with Kim," Felix indicates the back of the Ambulance, where the paramedics are loading up the trolley containing my little girl, still lying limp and lifeless. I quench that thought. I can't let my mind go that way. "We'll bring the boys right behind you in the car."

I nod my consent and pull back to look my boys in the eye. "I'll see you at the hospital, okay?"

"Can't we go with you?" asks Jared.

"Sorry, baby boy, there isn't room, and Kim needs someone with her. She'll need someone when she wakes up." He nods in understanding, although I know he needs me too. It breaks my heart I can't keep all three of them close. I look to Embry and he gives me a nod, putting his arm around his younger brother's shoulder.

"Come on Jared," he says leading him over to where Demetri is now waiting, leaning up against a large, black SUV with blacked out windows, right behind the ambulance. I briefly pause, checking they are safely inside, aware we still have a crowd watching us, being kept at a discrete distance by airport security, but by this point I'm almost oblivious to the flashes of the cameras around us. I climb into the ambulance and take the seat indicated by the taciturn paramedic who is busy connecting and checking equipment. As he monitors her vitals I slowly stroke her hair from my place near her head and will her to open her eyes.

* * *

 **Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story. I am ever grateful for her input and advice and for helping me to get it into a presentable shape.**

 **Also, sorry for the break. I had visitors staying at our house the last two weeks and didn't even get five minutes to write or post or so anything really.**

 **Summary: Bella and the kids fly to LA to see Edward, but are mobbed by the press in the airport. As they are leaving there is some commotion at the top of some stairs and Kim ends up falling to the bottom. The chapter ends with her being taken to the hospital in an ambulance unconscious.**

 **PM me if you really need to know the outcome of Kim's fall.**


	34. Chapter 34 - I Hate Hospitals

**Chapter 34 – I hate hospitals**

We are greeted at the hospital by doctors and nurses wearing colorful scrubs. I follow on silently behind the gurney, as the paramedics reel off a long list of abbreviations and words that mean little to me, despite watching countless hospital dramas.

As they take Kim forward and into a private room I feel an arm fall across my shoulders and I'm steered off to the side. I look at the friendly face of the nurse who is guiding me.

"Mom?" she asks and I give a small nod.

"Will she be okay?"

"She's in great hands. Dr. Gerandy is a great physician." Her voice is gentle and soothing as she sits me down in a chair in a private waiting area.

"How long will they be?" I ask, desperate for answers.

"They'll be out as soon as they can. In the meantime, why don't I get you a coffee, and we can get the paperwork completed. Is there anyone I should call? Your husband perhaps." My hand goes to my rings, now on a chain around my neck. I've had to do this each pregnancy due to my bloated fingers, but it seems more poignant this time round. I'd cried for a full hour after taking them off and hanging them around my neck.

"No, my husband … I … No…" I don't want to go into this now, but her words bring back to me the last time I was in an emergency department and the outcome of _that_ visit and I feel myself start to lose it. The sterile, disinfectant smells surrounding me are the same. I'm sat on the same kind of hard plastic chair. I feel the same sense of helplessness.

My breathing gets heavy. It's as if I suddenly can't get enough air. My chest is tight, like someone has me held in an iron tight grip. My baby girl is lying unconscious being worked on by strangers. I can't be there for her. I wasn't able to protect her. And now we're here, where only bad memories exist. I feel myself start to breakdown, my vision blurs and narrows to a small spot in front of me. I seem to feel, as well as see, the blackness creep in on me from all sides, and I'm vaguely aware of someone telling me to breath. But it is so hard.

Then I feel strong, familiar arms around me. Safe arms. Arms that belong to a strong chest that I bury into, immersing myself and trying to gain strength from the well-known, comforting smell that engulfs me, but it not enough to stop me from slipping under, but a slight level of calm washes over me as one sentence pierces my fog just before I finally succumb to it, "I've got you, Beautiful."

~H~

I don't want to open my eyes. I'm safe here. I know I'm safe here. I have a feeling that horrible things await me outside the little bubble of safety I'm currently cocooned in. I push closer against the warmth, not wanting reality, but not sure why.

I can feel cold fingers on my wrist and I try to pull away. "I think she's coming round," an unfamiliar voice says.

"Beautiful, can you hear me?"

Edward. My CM.

I slowly open my eyes and looking up into the greenest eyes I've ever seen. Eyes that I belonged to from the first moment I looked into them. Eyes that shine with relief. I smile and ask cautiously, "What happened?" His beautiful face morphs into one of worry.

"Bella, we're at the hospital, we think you had a panic attack and blacked out."

Reality hits like a sledge hammer straight through my heart.

"Kim!" I try to leap up. My little girl needs me. A wave of dizziness envelops me as I move and I collapse back into Edward's embrace. I realize he is sat on the floor, cradling me in his arms.

"Shhh," says Edward, not loosening his grip on me, but helping me to sit up more. "Take things slowly. We need to be sure you're okay."

"But Kim," I say. "I need to know what's going on."

Edward looks up at someone stood over us and it is then I realize there are others in the room. I look up also and take in the grave, yet somehow reassuring, face of a handsome, blonde man. He looks familiar and I wonder why.

"How are you feeling Bella? Do you think you could get into a chair?" He speaks with the authoritative air that I associate with physicians, and he certainly looks like one even though he's in a white button down shirt and jeans with no white coat over the top. But he has the obligatory stethoscope around his neck and as he talks he shines a pen light into my eyes, so he must be a doctor. Perhaps they dress down here at the Children's hospital, so as not to scare the kids.

I nod and start to move. "Slowly," cautions Edward.

He helps me up, and I go to sit back in one of the loathsome chairs, but instead Edward takes the seat and pulls me onto his lap, before wrapping his arms tightly around my waist.

"I look back up at the doctor. "Do you have any news on Kim?" I ask, desperate to know what is going on.

"I'm afraid not, but I'll go and see what I can find out in a moment. But first we need to be sure _you_ are okay, do you mind if I do a quick examination?"

"I'd rather find out about Kim," I insist.

"I understand that, but you won't be much help to her if you are unwell yourself, so please, Bella, let me just check you're fine first."

"Please, Bella," pleads Edward, "We're all worried about you. We also need to make sure the baby is fine."

We? I look around and take in Felix and in front of him my two boys. They look so worried. "Come here," I say holding out my arms to them. They don't need asking twice, and I find so much comfort in being able to wrap my arms around them. A wave of guilt envelops me briefly for not thinking of them sooner. Of course they would be terrified. Their sister has been rushed unconscious to hospital, only for their mom to also collapse.

"I'm okay," I reassure them. "It was just a little overwhelming, that's all. I'll be fine."

"Please, mom," says Jared, looking at me through tear filled eyes. "Let the doctor look at you."

"Of course," I say. How could I deny him anything?

As the doctor looks me over, shining a pen light into my eyes once more, taking my blood pressure, pulse and listening to my chest, I hold onto each of their hands, not sure if it's to give them reassurance or to ground me. I need them so much. After checking me over, the doctor asks for permission to examine my abdomen. After feeling around my bump, and getting a few kicks back for his trouble, kicks that make him chuckle, he listens through his stethoscope to my belly.

"Everything seems in order, the baby's heartbeat is strong and she's moving around well. I think you had a panic attack, which doesn't look to have done either of you any long term harm. Your blood pressure is a little higher than I'd like, but given the current circumstances that is to be expected. But if you start to feel dizzy or light headed I want you to let me know. Okay? I'd also like to ask the hospital to carry out a Sonogram, just to be on the safe side." He looks at me for confirmation.

I nod my agreement.

"Thanks, dad," says Edward, and I turn to him, puzzled. Dad?

I look back at the physician. The hair color and the eyes are different, but the strong jaw is the same and as he smiles down at me the similarities become clear. This is Edward's father.

"Dr. Cullen?" I ask, suddenly nervous. This isn't quite how I'd planned on meeting the grandfather of my unborn child. I wonder what he thinks of this slightly hysterical woman sitting on his son's lap.

He smiles. "Carlisle, please. I'm very pleased to meet you, Bella. Edward has told me a lot about you."

"He has?" I turn to Edward, not quite knowing how to act in this situation, and wondering exactly what Edward has said about me.

"Of course," continues Dr. Cullen … Carlisle, "I've been very much looking forward to meeting you. Obviously, I was expecting it to be under happier circumstances. I look forward to talking with you later and getting to know you, and your family," he looks around at Jared and Embry, who are looking up at him as if he's some kind of god. "But now, I'm going to go and see if I can use my doctor influence to find out what's going on with Kim for you."

"You work here?" I ask, confused by his presence.

"Oh no," he replies, "I'm just visiting. I had a few days' vacation owed me and I thought I'd pop down to surprise my son, who's not been to visit us up in Chicago since Christmas." That's right, I remember Edward telling me they lived there. Oh, that's probably my fault he's not been to visit his parents. Should I apologize? "However," he continues, before I can agonize over it further, "if you mention you're a doctor it usually gets you some answers where others fail." He gives me a wink and goes to leave the room.

"Thank you," I say with obvious gratitude and relief. He reaches forward and squeezes my hand, before squeezing Edward on the shoulder and leaving the room.

~H~

I'm still sat on Edward's lap, my boys on either side of me, one holding each hand, when Dr. Cullen returns a short while later. He informs me Kim has yet to wake up so they have taken her up for a CT head scan to get a better idea of what's going on. He lets us know they are also going to perform an x-ray to determine if her broken leg will require surgery to set it, but that will wait till they know more about the head injury.

I'm so grateful for the news, even if it doesn't tell me much. However, I'm still so apprehensive and really want to see her with my own eyes, and I desperately want her to regain consciousness.

I quiz Carlisle on why she isn't waking up, and he basically tells me exactly the same as the paramedic: all head injuries are different, and they will know more after the tests.

He then informs me and Edward he has arranged for a sonogram in one of the exam rooms if we want to take advantage of it whilst we wait for Kim to get back.

"It's not my area of expertise, but if you want me there to give my professional opinion I'm happy to come along." He looks very keen to be involved and I realize this is his first grandchild and he is acting the excited grandparent. Obviously he's not been part of my life until now, and I vow there and then to try and include Edward's parents more into our lives going forward. It looks like with the Black's ongoing support this baby is going to end up with three sets of adoring grandparents.

"I don't mind you helping out," I tell him before I turn to Edward, "I'd rather find out everything is okay sooner rather than later," I say.

Edward nods and turns to Felix, "Will you wait here with the boys while Bella gets checked out?"

"Can't we come with you?" asks Jared, squeezing my hand harder.

"Can they?" I ask Carlisle, not wanting to be separated from them either.

"If you don't have a problem with it, I see no issue with them getting a look at their little sister," he smiles at me before leading us out the room and down the corridor to a private room, where a nurse is waiting for us, setting up the equipment.

My first thought as I lie back and pull up my top, revealing my now rather large bump, is that Kim is going to be really disappointed she missed out on seeing the baby. Then it hits me that she may not get the opportunity to be disappointed.

Before I can start to let the despair consume me again, Dr. Cullen draws my attention. "May I?" he asks, brandishing the bottle of gel and sonogram wand.

I look towards the nurse who nods her approval, before clicking on the machine. She obviously knows who he is and trusts his, so I look back at him and nod also.

"Have you seen the baby recently?" he asks, squirting the cold gel onto my stomach.

"Not since the twenty week scan," I confirm. Jess had offered me extra chances to see the baby, even though they weren't covered by my insurance, but as Edward hadn't been there I'd declined. If I was getting to see her I wanted him to be part of it.

I still have both my boys gripping my hands, one on either side of me. It's as if they need the constant reassurance that I'm still here; that I'm okay. Edward takes up a position by my head and starts to run his hand through my hair. Dr. Cullen looks up at the movement and I see the corners of his mouth curl up slightly.

It doesn't take him long to pick up the baby's heartbeat, playing it for the boys to hear for the first time. They stare at me, as if mesmerized by the sound. Carlisle keeps the screen angled away from us as he carries out his tests and measurements, under the watchful eye of the nurse, assuring us he won't be long.

"So, do you want a look?" he asks, a short period of time later. A period of time that felt like a life time, as I worried I'd managed to hurt both my daughters in one day.

"Is she okay?" I ask, desperate for reassurance, even though the smile on Dr. Cullen's face should tell me the answer.

"Everything is fine. The placenta is still firmly attached, there is a good blood flow and she is showing no signs of knowing anything has been going on."

There is a sigh from my left shoulder that tells me Edward was as worried as I was.

"So, are we having a look?" Carlisle asks again, looking around all our faces. My boys are nodding ferociously and I feel Edward squeeze my shoulder again. He loved seeing her last time.

Dr. Cullen turns the screen round, and there is the face of our beautiful daughter. She has her hand up to her mouth and appears to be sucking on her thumb. She is side on to the detector, but as we watch she kicks out with her legs and turns, as if to face us. As she does I feel the movement and give a small exclamation, as my stomach moves in time with the view on the screen.

"She's a lively one," says Dr. Cullen, the smile on his face getting broader. "You may have a soccer player here."

I look from him to Edward, who is staring at the screen, with the same look of awe on his face as he had last time. He must sense me watching him as he looks back to me, before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I know I've said this before, but as far as I'm concerned I could never say it enough, Thank you, Beautiful. You've given me the most amazing gift."

"I'd like to thank you too, Bella," says Dr, Cullen. "You've given me the opportunity to meet my very first grandchild, before she's even born. Thank you."

I look between father and son, who are both looking at me as if I've given them the moon and the stars, and I know this is good news, and I know seeing my unborn daughter should bring me joy, but it feels as if there is no room in my heart for any other emotions other than the all-consuming anxiety I am feeling.

Dr. Cullen prints us off some pictures, asking permission to take one to show his wife, joking she is going to be mad at him because he got to see the baby and meet me when she didn't. I then steel myself for the reality of finding out exactly what the prognosis is with Kim. I'm desperate to see her, even if she is still asleep. My little girl needs me.

~H~

Once we return to the room its back to waiting. An uncomfortable silence falls over us all as we all disappear into our own thoughts. Embry has his ear buds in and I see silent tears falling down his cheeks as he utilizes his usual escape to music to sort out his emotions, while Jared remains curled into my chest. I've got to the point where I just feel numb. But I need some answers.

Finally the door opens, making me jump. A short doctor enters who looks to be about my age. He has a slightly receding hair line, but the sort of face you want to trust, with happy eyes and turned up lips on a clean shaven jaw.

I leap to my feet, hopeful for some of those answers.

"Mrs. Black?" he asks looking at me. I nod. "I'm Doctor Gerandy. I've been treating your daughter. She is currently stabilized and we are taking her up to the ward now. We have set her leg and we are monitoring her condition."

"What does that mean? Has she woken up at all? What did the scan show? When can I see her?" I have so many questions, and I don't know which I want the answer to first.

"Perhaps, it would be best to discuss this on the way to the ward? I could take you up to see Kim and fill you in on the next stages in her care while there," he says, indicating my boys. He's right. They don't need to be worried with things they don't really understand.

I look to Embry and Jared, into their scared eyes. I need someone they know to stay and support them. "Boys, could you please stay here with Edward while I go and talk to the doctor about Kim? I promise I won't be long and I'll tell you everything you need to know when I get back. I just need to check she's okay."

"Can't we come with you, mom?" Pleads Jared.

"It's best if she doesn't get too many visitors at the moment," says the doctor, backing me up.

"Come on, Jared," says Embry, "Kim needs mom. We'll be okay with Edward."

I look to Edward and see the torment on his face. "Please, keep them safe for me?" I plead. I need to know they are with someone they trust, someone I trust, someone they can talk to.

"You need support too, Beautiful. I don't want you to have to do this on your own. Please, let me come with you." His eyes pierce into mine, but I have to be strong. Embry and Jared's need is greater than my own.

I force my voice to be strong, to not wobble, to not betray me and show him how close I am to giving in and begging him to come with me. "The best way you can support me at present is to make sure Jared and Embry are kept safe. Please, CM. I can't leave them with virtual strangers."

He still looks torn, but I see his eyes are resigned to me doing this alone.

~H~

Before taking me in to see Kim the doctor leads me to a small alcove off the ward and I take a seat opposite him.

"I thought it would be easier to talk here, before we go in to Kim. It can be quite daunting to see all the equipment, so I just wanted to prepare you first." I'm desperate to see Kim. It feels like a lifetime since I last held her in my arms, but I'm also desperate for answers so I agree.

"The scan shows she has a slight swelling on the brain," he starts, and I take an involuntary, sharp intake of breath. "It's not at a level that would overly worry me yet, but we will be monitoring it. She did start to regain consciousness as we were taking her up for the scan, but to facilitate the scan, and to allow her time to heal, we have induced her back into an unconscious state. This is the best thing for her at present."

I try to take all this in. There is relief that she had started to come round, but I don't know what to think about the brain swelling. That can never be good, can it?

"What's the outlook?" Part of me doesn't want to think about the possibility of brain damage, or worse, but a bigger part of me needs to know. I need to prepare for the worst.

"That's still hard to say. The next few hours will tell us more. We have another scan planned for an hour's time. Best case scenario is the swelling will have significantly subsided and we will be in a position to look at allowing her to wake up."

"And the worst case?" My heart is beating so fast and hard. I'm scared for his answer. Will I be getting the same little girl back? I suddenly wish Edward was here. His presence lends me so much strength. Just to be able to hold his hand now, or feel his arm around me would be all I needed. Then a wave of guilt washes over me. Embry and Jared need him more than I do at present. I need to look out for all my children.

The doctor looks down and I wonder if he's considering if I can handle the truth. "Please," I say, as calmly as I can, "I need to know. I need to be ready."

"In my opinion is highly unlikely there will be any permanent damage, so I don't want you to be worrying about that. I am confident that when we carry out the next scan the swelling will be reduced."

"And if you're wrong? If it's not getting better, or it's getting worse? What then?"

He looks at me closely for several seconds before answering. "Mrs. Black, I really don't want to worry you unnecessarily, as I said, my experience leads me to believe we can hope for the best in your daughter's case."

Tears start to fall down my face. Doesn't he understand the not knowing is worse? I'm sure reality can't be any worse than the outcomes my brain is conjuring up. "Please, I need to know."

He closes he eyes and bows his head for a few moment. When he looks back up I see resignation there.

"You really need to know, don't you?" he asks, and I nod. "Okay," he relents, taking a deep breath before continuing. "If the swelling is significantly worse we may need to consider ways to relieve the pressure."

"And those ways would be?" I prompt.

"There are surgical methods we would most likely employ," he says.

"Brain surgery," I whisper. Yep it's as bad as I feared. "And if that doesn't work? Is the pressure damaging her brain?"

"Most children with you daughter's current level of pressure make full recoveries."

"Most …." I murmur with my head down. Then I look up and into his eyes, hoping they show him I can handle the truth. "But if the pressure gets too higher, there is that risk? A risk she will be permanently damaged?" Why do I have a need to know this?

"It is a risk, but please, Mrs. Black, that is highly unlikely. Kim needs you to be strong and to stay positive."

I nod.

"Would you like to see her now?" he asks, rising from his seat.

I nod again and follow him silently to Kim's room.

~H~

I don't know how long I've been sitting next to Kim's bed, just holding her hand, rubbing my thumb back and forth over her knuckles. When I first entered the room I was shocked by the number of wires running to and from her body and the number of bits of equipment. I've no idea what they're all for and haven't even attempted to ask. I've not taken in the rest of the room. I've not been able to take my eyes off her. I scan down her body, noticing the awkward looking lump caused by the plaster on her leg. Dr. Gerandy has informed me it's a clean break and shouldn't need surgery.

It had taken a few moments for the initial shock to wear off and the reality of the situation to hit. Since that time I've not been able to stop the tears from silently falling from my eyes. Every time I close them I see the image of her falling backwards down those stairs, the look of terror in her face as she reached for me. Every time I pray for a different outcome: She is able to regain her footing, or I manage to grab her, or she doesn't hit her head on the way down. But every time I hear the cry escape her mouth, followed by the dull thud as she hits the step, and then her silence. That is the worse part. Her silence. Her continued silence.

Even though I know they are using drugs to keep her from waking, I still will her to open her eyes and look at me or to squeeze my hand. Anything to give me a sign she is still in there. Kim is generally a restless sleeper and has been since being a baby. She moves around a lot, throwing out legs and arms haphazardly. It lead to many sleepless nights for me and Jake on the occasions when we allowed her into our bed when little. The number of times I cursed her movements, but now I'd give up every night's sleep for the rest of my life just to see her move even slightly.

Eventually, the nurses come to take her for her next scan. I stand in the room for a while unsure what to do. Eventually I make my way back to the room where we had been previously, and I presume everyone else still is. I should quickly bring them up to speed before I need to get back to Kim.

As I enter the room, Edward takes one look at me and I'm in his arms. I must look a mess, with my tear stained cheeks and disheveled appearance.

"What's happening, Beautiful? Has she woken up yet? What did the doctor say?"

"They are keeping her sedated at the moment. She's just gone for another scan. I can't be long. I need to be there when they bring her back."

"But she'll be okay?"

I can't answer. I just don't know.

The tears start to flow again and Edward pulls me back into his chest, whispering words of comfort and encouragement.

Once I've managed to pull myself back together enough to talk I extract myself from his chest to address everyone. I look around the room, taking in my tired looking boys, sitting close to Dr. Cullen. I remain tucked into Edward's side as I speak, craving the contact and support. "The doctor seems to think she should recover." They don't need to know the worst case, the one that is plaguing my thoughts. "But we will know more after her current scan."

"What can I do to help?" asks Edward, his hand gently stroking my cheek, wiping away the tears.

"Just stay with my boys. Keep them safe … oh, and let Charlie know. He should know what's going on. We were meant to phone him when we arrived, he must be worried."

"Already done. He's letting Seth and Leah know."

I nod. "It's getting late. The boys are probably tired. You should take them back to your place. Let them get some rest."

A frown appears on Edward's face, but it's Embry who responds. "I'm not leaving till I know Kim is okay."

"It may be hours still, Embry. I promise I'll phone you as soon as I know anything. You'll be so much more comfortable at Edward's then you are here." I wonder briefly if I'm being selfish. I want them somewhere safe, somewhere where I don't have to worry about them. It's too much to bear coping with what Kim is going through without worrying about them also.

Eventually we reach a compromise that we can all live with, although every time I mention Edward leaving the hospital a look comes into his eye. We are going to see the results of the next scan, and if it's good news Edward will take the boys to his house.

I leave and find my way back up to Kim's room just as she is arriving back, accompanied by Dr. Gerandy.

"It's good news," he informs me, smiling slightly. "The swelling is subsiding on its own. We are going to keep her under for another couple hours so she can recover better, but then we will look to revive her."

My initial relief is substantial. I feel like a lead weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel I can breathe for the first time in hours. Soon she will wake up and I'll be able to look into her beautiful brown eyes again. But then I remember that she has suffered a large blow to the head. Will she wake up the same?

I use the nurses phone to call down to Edward, not wanting to leave Kim's side for too long. I tell him the good news and he seems as relieved as I am. But there is also something else there, something in his voice that's not quite right, but I don't have the energy or room in my head to worry about that now, so I let it go. I convince him I really want him to take the boys to his house. I promise him I'll call as soon as I have any news.

So I go back to my vigil. Although now, I'm not silent. Now I talk to her. I tell her all about the hopes and dreams I have for her. I tell her how I love her passion and her tenacity. How I'm convinced she can achieve anything and everything she wants in life, and that I'll be there to support her every step of the way.

~H~

I've sat by Kim's bed all night. I know I've drifted off on occasions, my head resting next to her on the bed, her hand still gripped in mine, only to wake with a start moments later, fear flooding my system as my dreams bring back to me the horror of her making that fateful fall.

The nurses enter frequently, checking her over, reading the machines, and occasionally making adjustments. They have been slowly reducing her medication to bring her back to consciousness. A consciousness I hope and pray will bring my Kim back to me. I can see the effect taking hold. Her once lifeless, still body has become restless with frequent twitches, just as if she were now just in the throes of normal sleep. I've tried talking to her but so far I've had little response, but my voice does seem to sooth her when she becomes particularly restless.

I've asked the nurses when she's likely to wake up, but they are as none committal as the doctor was last night.

I start awake again as Kim's arm spasms, shooting away from my grip as she attempts to roll, but is stopped by the large heavy cast on her leg. I reach up and stroke her forehead, making soothing noises as I do. This is the biggest movement so far. It's been several hours now since her medication was fully stopped, but I was warned it would take a while for them to all leave her system, and even after that she is likely to be groggy for some time.

"It's okay, baby girl," I murmur, "mommy's here. I'm not going anywhere. Everything is going to be okay." I'm not sure who I'm trying reassure more, her or me. As I talk, the tears once again falling down my face, her eyes open. They look distant and far away, but it's another step forward and I grasp onto it like a lifeline.

"Baby girl, Kim, can you hear me? Its mommy here, please, darling, if you can hear me, please squeeze my hand." There is an edge of desperation to my voice and I realize how much I just need my daughter back, to know she is going to be fine.

She turns her head to me and an almost puzzled look enters her eyes. Her face looks strained and she opens her mouth as if she is trying to say something but can't quite find the words.

I hate seeing her distressed like this. "Shhh, Kimmy," I reassure her, "it's all okay. Just rest now"

I stroke her hair before leaning forward and planting a kiss on her forehead. As I pull back, I see her eyes have closed again, and she looks much more at peace. As she drifts back off into sleep I feel her small little hand give my big one a tiny, barely perceptible, squeeze. The gesture is too much for me. My tears start to fall in earnest and I weep uncontrollably, letting out all my fears and frustrations. I cry so hard and so long I don't think I'm ever going to stop. Then I feel two strong arms around me. They lift me up, and for a moment I panic that they are going to take me away from Kim, but he just slides himself onto my seat, positioning me on his lap so I can continue to hold Kim's hand as I burrow my head into his chest, drawing strength from him as I give it to my daughter.

I don't know how long we sit there as I continue to cry, but it feels like forever, but also not long enough. Eventually I manage to pull myself together and I look up into the face of my CM, the man who has been my rock in time of need for so long. How did I ever think I could get through this without him? I take in his face. The dark circles under his eyes, the tracks of his silent tears down his cheeks, his red rimmed eyes and his hair that is even more disheveled than normal.

"How is she," he asks, quietly.

"She opened her eyes. She squeezed my hand."

"Oh, Bella, that has to be good news, right?" The hope in his eyes is contagious and I find a small glimmer of it taking hold in my heart.

"Has the doctor been round this morning?" he asks.

"Not yet," I reply. "What's the time?"

"It's just past nine. How are you feeling? Have you eaten? Slept?"

I shake my head by way of answer to all his questions. I'm not the important one at the moment.

He frowns. "I'll go and find you some food. You need to keep your strength up, both for Kim and the little one." His hand strokes my belly as he speaks, and I know I should eat, but even the thought makes me feel ill.

"Then I think you should think about getting some rest. I can sit with Kim whilst you take lie down." He must see the look of terror that crosses my face as he quickly clarifies, "I'm not suggesting you leave, but at least lie down on the couch and try to close your eyes. I'm sure I could get a cot brought in here for you so you can get some real rest."

"I can't leave her," I say. "She needs me. She gets restless, my voice and touch seems to help."

"Please, Bella, this is killing me. Let me take some of the burden. You aren't alone any more. We should be a partnership. Please don't shut me out and send me away like you did last night. I've been out of my mind with worry about the three of you. I've been so scared about us getting that little girl back." He indicates toward Kim with a nod of his head. "It's not just you I love, you know that right? I love them, too."

"But she's my little girl. I'm all she has."

A look of hurt flashes across his face. "I hope you know that's not true, Bella. I may not be anything official in her life, being only the guy who knocked you up, and I know a part of you probably wishes Jacob were here. That she had her dad to be here for her too. But I'm the one who is here and I will keep being here. For you, for Kim, for Embry and Jared, and for this new addition to our family, because that's how I think of us Bella, as a family. I know we don't live together and I don't have any official titles but that's how I see us, and I'd hoped you saw it the same."

I'm shocked by his outburst and I'm not sure how to answer, but I'm saved by the arrival of Dr. Gerandy. He bustles in with a smile on his face. "I hear she woke in the night. Tell me about it, Bella, and then I'll let you know the next steps."

Pushing what Edward said to the back of my mind for the time being, I take the Doctor through everything that happened over night, and he listens patiently.

"You understand, her being fully conscious will be a gradual state?" he asks.

"Yeah, the nurses explained that, but when will we know if she's going to be okay?"

"It may take a while. We'll continue to test her level of consciousness and cognition. I'd also like to do another scan, just to be sure the swelling has fully subsided, but I suspect it will come back clear. All things being equal we'll have most of the answers later today. I'm still expecting her to make a full recovery. Children can be very resilient. So stay positive."

He gives me a stern look, obviously warning me not to fear the worse.


	35. Chapter 35 - Don't Push Me Away

**Betered by Robstenfanpire - Thanks to her as always for her great help.**

 **Sorry this is a couple days late. I've been suffering the last week from very painful Calcium Tendonitis in my shoulder that has meant I've been hardly able to use that arm and not been able to sleep due to the pain, so I've felt wacked out all day. Even using the computer has been painful. The doctor now has me on some strong anti-inflammatory meds and it's feeling a lot less painful, I even have regained some movement and I managed to sleep last night, so things are looking up.**

* * *

 **Chapter 35 – Don't push me away**

The morning passes quickly. Seth phones and I speak to him and the boys, and they make plans to pop by later that day with Carlisle. Edward practically force feeds me breakfast. I hate seeing him worried and I know I need to eat, so I force down the cream cheese bagel he got from the hospital canteen.

Edward stays at my side all morning and is there when Kim opens her eyes again. She is conscious for a longer period this time and manages to say a few words. She obviously recognizes the two of us and we explain that she had a fall and is in the hospital before she goes back to sleep.

Around mid-morning a nurse pops in with a cuddly teddy carrying a bunch of balloons emblazoned with get well messages. She hands me the card that came with it. It's from Charlie and Sue. They have sent on their best wishes and ask me to call to fill them in on Kim's condition when I'm able and I vow to let them know the latest, as soon as I've next spoken to the doctor. I'm sure they're worried.

As the morning progresses more balloons and flowers arrive, from Alice and Jasper, and another lot from Rose and Emmett. When I check my phone later I also pick up messages of support from Jess, Ang and Leah, letting me know they are all thinking of us.

Just after lunch, when I manage to force down half a cheese sandwich, I talk to Charlie, and convince him not to fly down, reassuring him Kim is on the mend and that I'll phone him as soon as there are any further developments. I keep my worst fears from him. We still don't know if there was any permanent damage done by the fall. He tells me I need to talk to Leah. Apparently she has some news on the hate website. I'm mortified he has seen the site, but my embarrassment is small compared to what I've been through over the last day.

I hardly have a moment, with all the coming and going of nurses, to contemplate what Edward said earlier, and the afternoon is not much better. I know we need to talk, and I'm feeling awful for the way he thinks I've pushed him away.

It's when Kim goes for her scan that we finally get our moment. We are both left alone, standing in the room, and a silence descends. I look up into his eyes and I see the worry etched there. There is a tiredness around the edges and I reach up to run my fingers across his temple. I didn't mean to hurt his man who means so much to me, who has given me so much.

"I'm sorry," I say. He goes to talk, but I gently put the tips of my fingers over his lips and shake my head. "No, please, let me talk. I need to say some things."

He nods his head slightly in agreement and I let my hand fall. Suddenly the distance between us seems too great. I have to be touching him. I reach out and wrap the tips of my fingers around his. He bends his fingers round mine, letting me know he also craves the contact.

"I never meant to hurt you and make you feel you were not needed. You were … are needed so much. Every part of me wanted to be selfish last night, to keep you here - for me. To give me strength. Going through that without your touch, your reassuring words, was torture for me too. I've missed you so much whilst you've been away. I know we've been apart more than we've been together so far in this relationship, but it still feels like every time we part you take a piece of me with you, and last night was no exception."

"Then why didn't you let me stay, Bella. I needed you too."

"Because being a mom means I can't be selfish. I needed you, but so did Jared and Embry. Knowing they had your support, even when I didn't, was the only thing that held me together."

He looks down, as his thumb starts to rub across my knuckles and is silent for a while. "It's tough," he whispers, "when you have more than one responsibility, when you feel yourself being pulled in several directions at once. Right now, hearing your words, I want to go and be with the boys, give them the support they need. You're right, last night was tough for them, but we got through it together. But I also want to be here for you and Kim."

"Welcome to being a parent." I say, "You make decisions and hope that in the long run the right ones out balance the wrong ones, and you try not to let the guilt of the times you let one or more of them down consume you."

"You have nothing to feel guilty for, Beautiful," he reaches up and cradles my cheek. "You've always put those children first. You've made the tough decisions, but it's always been about them."

"Decisions that have put one child in hospital, and will probably subject them all to teasing and ridicule because I'm the gossip of the town." As I speak the tears start to fall.

"Don't, Beautiful." He reaches out and rubs my cheek. "None of that's your fault. Whoever took those photos overstepped the line and when I discover who it was I _will_ make them pay. As for yesterday and Kim's accident, that is also not your fault. I misread how much interest there would be in you. I foolishly thought you'd be able to get through the airport without being spotted. I'm sorry, and I won't let that happen again."

I can see the tension in his jaw as his free hand runs through his hair.

"It was all down to that blond journalist really," I mutter.

"Which one's that?" he asks.

"You know, the one that was there that first morning the story broke? He was one of the last to leave Forks also. And then he was there at the airport when we landed. It was as if he was expecting us. If he'd not seen us and started making a fuss, I don't think anyone else would have paid us much interest."

"I know who you mean, Beautiful," he says, looking into my eyes with a contemplative look on his face before drawing me into his arms for a much needed hug, "I think I need to find out exactly who he is and what he's been up to. It all seems a little too coincidental for my liking."

~H~

The next day, Monday, is a good day. Kim is awake and talking for most of the day as if nothing has happened. The Doctors are still keeping a close eye on her, but they have given the green light for her to leave the hospital the next morning. However, there are stipulation. She can't fly. Whilst I wait for Edward to come in with the boys, I set about booking a car on line and mapping out a route to get us home the long way. We'll need plenty of stops as we are both likely to get uncomfortable sitting for long periods, but I've a few ideas for overnight breaks that might be fun. A girly road trip may actually be just what the doctor ordered.

I sit next to her on the bed and show her the likely route on the computer, and she points out funny place names. By the time the boys come in we are in fits of giggles and if feels so good.

"What's so funny?" asks Embry.

"Black Butte," giggles Kim. You can guarantee any mention of bottoms will set of a six year old and she collapses into a fit of uncontrollable giggles, and I can't help but join in. Her happy mood is more than contagious and it feels so good to relax and just have fun.

"What on earth are you going on about?" asks Jared, climbing up onto the bed on the other side of Kim to peer at what we're looking at. "Why are you looking up places with funny names on Google maps?" he asks as Kim points out the offending town on the screen.

"Because we have to drive through them and we need to know where to stop." Kim provides the answers.

"Why would you need to drive through Black Butte?" asks Embry. Then smirks as the silliness of the name hits him. His smile sets off Jared. It would appear the word Butt works just as well on nine and twelve year old boys. Before I know it we are all in fits of giggles as Edward looks on perplexed.

"If you could just pull yourselves together for five minutes, Embry's question is extremely valid. Why would you need to drive through Black Butte?"

The serious look on his face combined with the silly place name just makes us laugh harder and there is no chance of me giving an answer. In fact, breathing is starting to get a little difficult.

Embry seems to get a grip first. "Man, you said Butt," he says to Edward, still smiling like a loon.

Edward, thankfully smiles back, before rolling his eyes at us. "You're all mad," he declares, before snatching the computer.

"Hey," protests Kim, reaching out to grab it back, but before she can get too far he hands it over again, but it is now on a different area of the USA. "Elephant Butte?" She looks up at Edward, who is now sporting a wicked smirk. "Mom, look. Edward found Elephant Butte. Can we go there too? Please mom. We have to go to Elephant Butte and Black Butte on the way home."

"I don't think we can sweetie," I answer, "That's all the way out in … " I scroll out on the map, "New Mexico. It's kind of in the wrong direction."

"Why on earth would you be visiting Black Butte, or anywhere else, on your way home?" asks Edward, suddenly serious again.

"Oh, Kim can't fly, so I've booked a car to drive us back home when she gets discharged tomorrow." I say it without looking him in the face. I know he's not going to like the idea of us leaving straight away, or probably driving home for that matter, but really what choice do I have? I estimate the journey is probably going to take us four or five days with the limited time I think I'll be comfortable sitting in the car each day, and the number of stops we'll have to make, and the kids have school next week, so we need to get back, and this is the only way.

"Sorry, run that by me again?" Edward is looking confused.

"The doctors won't let Kim fly after her head injury, so we need to drive home, but it's going to take forever as we need to keep stopping so I can pee and my legs are likely to swell up if I sit without them elevated for long. So we need to get going as soon as we can so we can get home for school next week."

"Okay," he says slowly, "But you don't need get a car, I've got a big SUV that will fit us all and if I do most of the driving you'll be able to put your feet up. Besides we'll need Felix and Demetri with us at the very least."

"Edward, it makes no sense for you and the boys to subject yourselves to this journey. You three should fly back and join us there. Besides, if you're not with us we probably won't need security."

"No sense?" He looks at me with his eyebrows raised. "I'll tell you what makes no sense. That's the two of you driving across country on your own for several days. No, Bella, that is just not happening."

The kids have all gone very quiet and are watching us intently, their eyes flicking between Edward, as his fingers pull and tease his hair, and me, as I fidget with my fingers.

Edward looks toward the kids. "Bella, we need to talk about this privately, could you please come with me to the visitor's room." His jaw is tense and his words come out strained.

I knew he wasn't going to like it, but the idea really seems to have upset him. I don't what another argument but I need to stand my ground. I take a deep breath. "Okay kids, amuse yourselves for a few minutes please, while Edward and I have a little talk."

I climb off the bed and follow him to the door. As I leave I look back at the kids, who are silently watching us. "It's okay," I reassure them, "We're just going to talk. We'll be back in a minute." I give them a small smile and I see the worry in Embry's face in particular.

As I leave the room, I have to hurry to keep up with Edward as he strides off towards the visitor's room. When we get there it is thankfully empty.

"For fuck sake Bella, there is no way I'm allowing you to drive across the country for days on end on your own. How on earth am I supposed to keep you safe when you come up with idiotic ideas like that?"

"For your information, I'm perfectly capable of keeping myself safe, and for another I don't need your permission to do anything. You are my boyfriend, not my keeper." I know he's mad and I know I should try and diffuse the situation, but, hell, I'm tired and I've been through too much over the last few days to take shit from anyone, even him.

"I didn't mean it like that, and you know it. But I can't let you go on your own. I need to be with you, to know you are all safe. Please Bella. I'll worry myself sick with you alone on the road." The lost look on his face almost breaks my heart, but I know what is best for me and my family.

"And we'd be so much safer with you, I suppose? With the paparazzi waiting to pounce and crazy fans who hate me? Yeah, having you along for the ride will be a walk in the park." My words come out sharper than I'd intended and he hurt on his face intensifies.

"Please, Bella. I know the last few weeks have been crazy and you've been subjected to the worst aspects of my profession, but believe me, it's not always like this. Give me a chance to show you this life can work for you and the kids."

"Don't you understand, Edward? I'm scared," I yell at him, hearing the desperate edge to my voice. "I'm so terrified. I hate having to be watchful and constantly vigilant for photographers. I hate having my private life plastered all over the internet. I'm so scared for what this is doing to my children or what they may have to endure in the future so that we can be together. But I'm equally, if not more, terrified about what it's doing to us. About it getting between us, driving a wedge that can't be overcome. I'm so scared of losing you. I've lost one man I loved. I don't think I could cope with losing you too. And I'm terrified I'm not strong enough to hold onto you while dealing with all that goes with your life."

As I finish talking all the fight leaves me, and the tears start to pour down my cheeks, rendering my vision useless. I feel myself start to sag as two strong arms wrap around me, drawing me close, lending me strength. I grip onto his shirt at this sides, holding on tight to this man who's come to mean so much to me.

"You don't need to hold onto me, Beautiful, I can hold on for the both of us, and I'm never letting go." His lips press to the crown of my head and I feel the heat flow down through me, as if he is breathing new life back into me. "Please let me show you this can work. Let me drive you home. Let me be there for you."

It's a slight movement, but the relieved sigh I hear escape his mouth lets me know he felt the small nod of my head. It is an inevitable acceptance of his support and care. How did I ever think I could deny this man anything he asked of me? But, if I'm totally honest, I want him with me. I need him with me.


	36. Chapter 36 - The Return to Forks

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story.**

 **Sorry this is late. Life has been kicking my butt.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 36 – The Return to Forks**

"How are you feeling this morning, Beautiful?" It's the following Monday morning and we're all safely back in Forks. Much to my relief. I've just stumbled downstairs, bleary eyed, with a splitting headache. I'm greeted in my kitchen by three already dressed children, tucking into eggs, bacon and toast, and a still bare chested movie star, sipping coffee, leaning back against the kitchen sink. It really is a sight to warm my heart, if I didn't feel so awful.

The journey home over the last five days had been long and, at times, immensely boring. But at other times it was magical. For example, when Edward insisted on us rolling down the windows as he turned up the radio and we all sang along at the top of our lungs to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, complete with head banging. The kids all gave me funny looks when I announced I felt like I was in Wayne's World, but Edward laughed and told me got the reference, even though he was only about three when the film came out. Talk about making me feel old!

Or when I'd fallen asleep in the back row of seats, only to be woken by the softest lips and a pair of gently hands fondling my breasts, the kids already having been let out the car and into the hotel room. Or when we played truth or dare and I learnt that Edward had cheated on one of his tests in high school, only to be found out and threatened with suspension. He explained to us how the shame of having to tell his mom was more then he could bear and he knew he'd never disappoint her that way again. The kids were shocked to learn that, although I'd never cheated on a test, I had occasionally copied someone's, normally Mike's, homework when I'd forgotten to do it. I warned them how disappointed I'd be in them if I caught them doing the same, and that it didn't do me any good in the long run as I then struggled with that part of the curriculum in the class tests.

We discussed the future, at least the kids did, with me deflecting whenever it got too close to mine Edward's personal future. Embry admitted he'd really like to take his music all the way but worried about not being good enough. Edward did his best to put his fears at rest. Jared bemoaned not having the faintest idea what he eventually wanted to do and I put his mind at rest that at nine, he really didn't need to. Kim listed six jobs she wanted to do, simultaneously. It included ballerina, vet, firefighter and knight. I suppose at six it's good to keep your options open, even if you need to go back to medieval England to achieve them.

By the end of the five days we all knew a lot more about each other, and I was really grateful to Edward for insisting on us all making the trip together. Not only had it been great not to actually have to do any of the driving, but, as always, I've loved just being in his company. We would shared little touches, hold hands across the seats, and stare looks and glances. I also won't deny that being able to snuggle up to his side at night was heaven, even if we had to be mindful of Kim sleeping in the other bed in the room with us. I'd wanted to keep a close eye on her while she slept, what with her recent injuries.

As for my fears. Well, Edward was right. Which was sickening to say the least. We hardly got any attention at all for the whole journey, and when we did it was usually just someone asking for his autograph or a quick picture, which he was usually happy to give. He politely asked them to be discreet about where we were, and most smiled and were charmed by him enough to agree. It would appear that smile doesn't only work on me.

After all our recent troubles though he insisted on us having security with us in the shape of Demetri, Felix and Alec. Sometimes the three of them would follow us in the second SUV, allowing us time as a family, only making their presence known when we stopped. At other times we would all split between the cars, allowing Edward a break from driving. The three of them did their job well; making me feel safe while keeping their presence discreet when needed. I don't know if it was their careful planning or just good luck, but we didn't come across any press on the whole journey. I'd been a little worried about getting out the hospital, especially after Edward confessed to me that there were several members of the press outside. But a careful plan to fool them was put into place. While we couldn't avoid them as we left we fooled them into thinking we would be staying at Edward's house. Edward employed extra security to keep them at bay as he helped me and Kim, who was encumbered by her broken leg, into his waiting car. Demetri then drove us back to Edward house, where the boys were waiting for us to leave in the SUV. The plan was for us to just pop in, load up the cars and leave. Relying on the blacked out windows to get us out the compound without anyone knowing it was us. As it turned out when I got to Edward's everyone was there to wish us well. What I thought was going to be a ten minute turnaround turned into a two hour catch up with Edward's closest friends and family, who were rapidly also becoming my close friends also.

Carlisle was obviously there and he told me his life would not be worth living if I didn't stay to talk to his wife, Esme, for a few minutes on Skype. I was glad, though, that I indulged him. She was so warm and welcoming. After ensuring Kim, I and the new baby were doing well, and apologizing that her work as a social worker had not allowed her to travel down to meet us on this occasion, she insisted on going through our calendars together to come up with a good time when she and Carlisle could come and visit us in Forks before my due date. She also let me know she had plans in place for when the baby arrived so she could come down and meet her new granddaughter. It was heartwarming to hear her enthusiasm and I was keen to meet this woman who was so important to Edward, but it did highlight my own mother's lack of enthusiasm, but I just pushed those emotions to the back of my mind as I appreciate the good wishes of my new extended family.

Those good wishes came in the form of Alice and Jasper, who insisted they would be seeing us in Forks as soon as they were able, and Rose and Emmett, who insisted on carrying Kim everywhere she wanted to go in his strong arms. She was delighted and insisted on him giving her the grand tour of Edward's house. She'd been lamenting the fact the boys had got to see it and she hadn't. The boys lead the way, showing her where they'd slept. Embry made a big show of opening up the music room and taking her around all Edward's instruments. It felt strange to see my sons so at home in this house where I'd never been with them, but it was good to see them so comfortable with Edward and his friends and I learnt that they'd spent a lot of time around there over the last few days entertaining my kids and keeping them from over thinking what was happening to their sister. A gesture that I really appreciated.

When it came time to leave I found goodbyes hard to do, even though I knew we had to get home. I hugged everyone and it was with a small tear in my eye that I made promises to call and text them often, especially keeping them all up to date on our road trip.

During the journey, I attempted to keep my legs elevated as much as possible, resting them across the back seats, often in Edward's lap, or Jared's if Edward was driving, much to my son's annoyance. At these times I'd let Embry ride shot gun and the two of them would get lost in their discussions on music. But even with these precautions my ankles had got bigger by the day and were feeling extremely uncomfortable by the time we hit Forks on the Sunday. My heartburn had also been playing up, so while everyone else had been enjoying eating different take outs and sampling local restaurants I'd been enjoying the blandest food, all washed down with a swill of Gaviscon.

I rub my chest, wondering where I put the Gaviscon bottle when we unpacked yesterday, as I look around at my family getting ready without me in the kitchen and smile. And then wince. "My head's pounding," I tell them.

Edward looks at me concerned. "You've got an appointment with Jess later today, don't you? Do you want me to take the kids into school while you relax and get ready?"

God, I love this man. "That would be great," I sigh, trying to convey my appreciation with my eyes, but I probably just come across as tired.

"It's my pleasure, Beautiful. Now sit down, put your feet up and I'll make you some food." As he talks he comes over and as I sink down into one chair he pulls another over and lifts my bulbous aching feet onto it. How anyone could find me attractive in this state is beyond me.

"Just plain toast, please."

"Not even butter?"

The thought of it is enough to make me rub my sternum again in anticipation of the heartburn the fat laden butter is likely to cause. The sooner this baby is out the better. Only six weeks to go.

"I'll take that as a no," Edward adds, obviously taking in my pained expression. He chuckles and comes over to plant a kiss at the top of my head.

"It's not funny. God, if men had babies I swear the human race would die out."

He chuckles again. "I'm sorry you're going through this, Beautiful. You know I'd share the burden if I could, and I'm forever grateful for your sacrifice."

His words remind me of why I'm going through this, as does a sudden movement. A movement deep inside my belly, as our daughter wakes up. It will all be worth it when we're holding her in our arms. I stroke my belly, feeling the bonding that already exists in spades. "It's a small burden to bear compared to the outcome." I smile at him as I speak, letting him know I'm over my grumpy spell.

~H~

"How's Kim?" asks Jess as Edward and I enter her office and take a seat.

"She seems as good as new, but she's going to need a couple of follow up appointments, just to check there are no further problems, but they don't anticipate any." Edward takes my hand in his and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

"Kids are resilient, Bella, I'm sure she'll bounce right back. But we're here to talk about you," her face turns serious. "How are things going?"

"Well, apart from the usual back ache, this uncontrollable heart burn and my swollen limbs, everything is fine with me." I reply lightheartedly.

"How long have you had these symptoms?" she asks, a frown on her face.

"The heartburn and swelling has steadily gotten worse as we made our way home," I reply, "I don't think a five day road trip was the best idea at this stage of the pregnancy, but I'm assume things will improve now I'm back home and can keep my feet up."

She shrugs. "Perhaps." Her lack of instant reassurance worries me. "You also told the nurse you've got a bad headache?"

"That's right," I reply tentatively. "It started last night and I don't seem to be able to shift it."

"Is there something wrong Jess? Should we be worried?" asks Edward anxiously.

"Well, I'd like to bring Bella onto the ward to carry out a few tests and to keep an eye on her." Now I'm really worried. She turns back to me. "Your blood pressure is raised, which, of itself, is probably to be expected, but your urine test also showed the presence of protein."

"What does that all mean?" enquired Edward.

"Putting together the urine results with the blood pressure, the water retention, the increased heartburn and the head ache and it all points to pre-eclampsia."

I feel Edwards hand tighten around mine and his tension adds to my anxiety.

"Now, I don't want you stressing over this, Bella," warns Jess. "For obvious reasons I don't want you pushing that blood pressure any higher. But it is something we need to monitor."

"What do we need to do Jess? To keep Bella and the baby safe." Edward leans forward in his chair, straight down to business, in problem solving mode.

"Well the first step is to have a little look at the baby. Pre-eclampsia can lead to a lack of blood flow to the baby and a slow growth rate. Now, you've only recently started to show symptoms, and you said you had a scan in LA, so I'm suspecting the baby is doing fine, but we will still check. We then need to monitor you and get you on some meds to bring down your blood pressure."

"And that will stop the pre-eclampsia?" he asks.

"No. The only thing that will stop it is to deliver the baby, which we will look to do once you hit 37 weeks. Until them all we can do is manage the condition. I'm afraid that will mean staying in hospital." God not more hospitals.

She looks between us and I glance at Edward. His face is a study in anxiety and I imagine mine is the same.

"Bella, I won't lie and tell you there are no risks, but let me reassure you slightly, we have caught this early. You're not the first person I've treated with this. Trust us here, we know how to manage this in the best way for you and the baby's health. I assure you, you will be getting the best of care. I can't let my favorite patient down, now can I?" she smiles at us reassuringly and I try and push my concerns to one side, for the sake of my blood pressure.

Before taking us through to the hospital from the attached clinic where she operates Jess performs the promised sonogram, reassuring us our baby is growing well and looking strong. Her heartbeat fills the room, and even with the added stress Edward and I can't help but grin at each other as her picture appears on the screen. It's our second time of seeing her this week, but it will never get old.

Before I know it I'm set up in a hospital bed, bloods have been drawn and I'm being plied with water so further urine samples can be taken. I'm rigged up to an automated blood pressure monitor and there is a heartrate monitor strapped to my belly to measure the stress levels of our little one.

I know this is the best place for me, but I'm still no fan of hospitals and I hope this extended stay has a happy ending.

Edward leaves me to pick up the kids and promises to be back with them as soon as he can. He is discrete about it, but I'm reassured by the presence of Felix outside my door when Edward goes. I'm feeling guilty about once again thrusting him into the role of parent with my kids. I know he gets on well with them and loves them, but, apart from those couple of nights in LA, he's not had to look after them alone before. I also worry about their reaction to him taking a more authoritive parental role. Will they resent him when he has to break up a fight or nag them to get ready for school? I even suggest it might be better if they go to Charlies for the duration, but he stops me dead.

"Bella, Beautiful," he holds me by my shoulders and looks me straight in the eye, forcing me to see the honesty and truth there. "What have I said to you about viewing you all as family? I'm here for you and the kids. We'll get through this."

"But …" I try to speak, but he cuts me off.

"The kids will understand. They know me. They know I'm not trying to be their dad. We get on. Yes we may have a few teething problems but I want to be there for you. For them. Please let me look after your kids."

"Okay," I relent

~H~

The next day I'm kept busy with visitors. Edward is around straight after dropping the kids at school, reporting a smooth morning where everyone mucked in to ensure breakfasts were eaten, the kitchen was sorted and everything necessary was put into school bags.

Charlie and Sue follow soon after. Sue laden with healthy treats that she assures me are Jess approved for my blood pressure as well as gentle on the stomach for my heart burn. Charlie holds me close in a hug that is a little tighter and goes on a little longer than usual.

"I've been so worried about you and Kim," he whispers into my ear, his voice displaying his obvious emotion.

As he pulls away he turns to Edward. "You look after my family, you hear me?" His voice is stern but there also seems to be a look of respect there. "Seth informs me you really stepped up to the mark when the shit hit the fan down in LA. Thank you for that. And thank you for getting them back home to us safety also."

Edward acknowledges his thanks with a brief nod of his head, but I can see my dad's acceptance means a lot to him.

"Talking of the kids," cuts in Sue, "if you need any help over the next few weeks, Edward, just ask. God knows those three can be a handful. If you need us to take them at any point for any reason just ask. We'd love to have them."

"Thank you, Sue," Edward replies warmly. "They were actually asking this morning to come and see you. I think they've been missing you. We could all pop around after schools out if you'd like?"

Sue agrees and the rest of the visit passes with a new sense of understanding between us all.

It's later in the day, when Edward is busy with the kids at Charlie and Sue's that Leah takes the opportunity to visit. I've not spoken to her much since leaving for our trip to LA and I'm shocked by the embrace she gives me upon entering the room. We're not the biggest of huggers, me and my sister.

"God, Bells. You're going to make me go gray prematurely if you keep scaring me like this. First the press thing, then Kim, now you in hospital." She shakes her head slowly. Yep it's certainly been a bumpy few weeks and I'm sure I've added to my stock pile of gray hairs also.

"Sorry," I say sheepishly.

"Hey, none of that," she looks at me sternly, "None of this is your fault. Talking of which. I've been doing some digging and I may have some answers for you on exactly whose fault it is."

"Ohh?" I'm intrigued.

"Well you know Jason who I went to school with?"

"The nerdy one with the sweating problems?"

"Hey, don't be cruel. He was just very shy and nervous around girls."

"Especially you, I remember." I tease her with a smile, remembering how he used to follow her around.

"Well, he's all grown up now and is a whizz on computers and the like. He runs an internet investigation firm. They do some work for different law enforcement agencies, tracking down the location of web users and the owners of web sites. That sort of thing." Now she's piqued my interest.

"Well I got him to look into your mystery stalker and he got back to me this morning." She pauses as I lead forward, desperate to know more.

"And …" I prompt.

"Well, it turns out the guy did an okay job at covering his tracks, but he wasn't as good as Jay. He traced it back to an account held by one James Hunter." She pulls out a picture and shows me.

I take a deep breath. It's him. The blond journalist, the one who was first, and last, here in Forks. The one who drew attention to us in LAX. The one who pushed into the female photographer, leading to the chain of events that sent Kim barreling down a flight of stairs. This is the man who has taken near naked pictures of me. Who has made me feel violated and exposed. This is the man I want to make pay.

I turn to my sister. "So Leah, what can I do about him? How do I make him stop?"

"What he did broke all sorts of privacy laws. With your go ahead I can file a complaint against him. We can also issue a restraining order to prevent him coming near you or the kids again."

"What's likely to be the outcome, Leah?"

"I'm in the process of getting the offending website closed down and the pictures removed, but that obviously doesn't stop all the copies that are now out there. Don't worry Bells, we can make this guy's life hell with law suits and injunctions. He'll be sorry he ever messed with the Swan's."

I smile at Leah's words. She has the determination, fire and balls to make sure James Hunter pays for hurting her family, and I'm sure she'll be getting Edward and Charlie's backing. I almost pity the man. No, not really.


	37. Chapter 37 - The Altercation

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story.**

 **I know, I know, it's been two weeks again. But I did post a chapter of The Man in the Elevator in between, for those who are reading both. The next chapter of this will be out this time next week Guaranteed.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 37 – The Altercation**

I'm starting to get really fed up with being in the hospital. And being pregnant. At close to 37 weeks, I've got to that awkward stage in the pregnancy where I'm struggling to get comfortable, and after our road trip, I was really looking forward to my own bed. No matter how many pillows I prop around me and the bump I still wake up several times in the night. I also miss having Edward in the room. On the journey home, when I'd wake in the night, which was frequently, I would lie there and listen to him breathing, and it brought me comfort.

Talking of Edward, he has been great. More than great. He is over every day after the kids are in school, and brings them back to visit after. They inform me the house is running smoothly. I'm not sure I totally believe them, but they are presenting a united front.

I'm kept entertained by a string of visitors each day. On top of the kids' daily visits there is Jess, Ang, Edward's parents, Charlie and Sue and my sister with her family. Edward's parents have been in Forks for the past week, and it has been lovely getting to know them. Esme has proved to be as supportive and warm as she came across on the Skype call and they have both made me feel like part of their family.

But they are going home this afternoon. I've managed to convince Edward I can cope on my own for a few hours while he, Charlie and Sue take them out to lunch for a goodbye meal. I know he feels guilty about leaving me, but to be honest I plan on using the time to catch up on some reading, and to sleep. I'm tired all the time at the moment, despite doing absolutely nothing.

I know Felix is outside, patrolling the ward. He did offer to come in and keep me company, but I knew he really wanted to go and talk with the lovely nurse Juliette. I've seen the way she blushes every time she passes him, and when I mentioned it to him I've never seen him so flustered. I've been plotting ways to get him to take the next step and actually ask her on a date.

This is how bored I've been. I've actually become a meddler!

As I read I can feel my eye lids getting heavy, so I lay the book down and let nature take its course. I'm just in that lovely blissed out stage, the one where you hover precariously between asleep and awake, ready to fall over the edge, when, even through my closed eyelids, I detect a bright flash of light. I'd drawn the curtains earlier against a surprisingly sunny Forks day so my initial thought is that they may have opened slightly letting in the day light, but as my eyes open I blink rapidly as a flash of lights explode in front of me, blinding me. This is not sunlight.

"Hey!" I exclaim as I try to make sense of what's happening with my barely awake brain.

"Smile for the camera Mrs. Black. These shots should make me a fortune," snarls a voice I recognize. James Hunter.

"What the hell are you doing here," I yell, grabbing the covers and pulling them up to my neck in a bid to cover myself as best I can. I'm only wearing comfy cotton pajamas, but I still feel exposed.

"You owe me and my family, Mrs. Black, and I intend to make you pay," he spits at me. I have no idea what he means. How on earth can I owe him anything? If anything he owes me for the pain he caused to Kim. As for his family; I didn't even know he had one.

"What on earth are you talking about," I yell loudly as l look around for the call alarm. This man should not be here. How did he get past security? Past Felix? "You have to leave," I continue, "There is a restraining order against you. If you don't leave now you will be arrested. Felix is only outside."

"You mean the big thug?" he chuckles, "It seems even gorillas need to use the bathroom, especially when you slip a little laxative into their coffee. He was so trusting when that pretty nurse brought it to him. What a pity they don't have a lock on their rec room door.

I spot the call switch hanging from the side of the bed furthest from me, and I make a lunge toward it. If I can't alert Felix I can alert the nurses. But James spots the movement and jumps forward to stop me, pushing me forcefully back onto the bed. I'm now officially terrified. James is positioned between me and the door, but I need to get help. I don't know what this man is capable of.

I open my mouth wide to yell but before I get a chance I feel a slimy sweaty paw clasp firmly across my lower face, stopping any sound escaping. James leans over me and I can feel his hot breath against my cheeks. It makes me want to reel back, but I'm pushed against the bed, held firmly in place, and there is nowhere to go. At these close quarters it's impossible to miss his changed appearance. His once long hair has been cut short and dyed a dark brown and he is sporting a short, patchy beard. I also notice he is wearing the same uniform as the nurses. Is that how he got in here?

"I don't think we need company at the moment. We've got some unfinished business to discuss first, Isabella." The way he says my name, like its poison on his tongue, sends shivers down my spine. "You and I are just going to have a little chat," he continues, "I need to get some reassurances from you. I know how much you hate your precious children to be hurt, and I know where they live, where they go to school, who their friends are. In fact I know everything about you and your family."

I realize it's true, under the guise of a reporter this creep would have been able to follow me and my family everywhere. He will have been able to find out everything he wants about us. He's already proved his skills at stalking us with the LAX incident.

"What do you want?" I try and say from behind his hand, but it comes out as more of a muffle.

"So you're willing to talk now are you, Mrs. Black?" he sneers at me, his mouth turned up in a sardonic grin. "I'm going to take my hand away, but if you even attempt to scream I will not hesitate in making another one of your children suffer for your mistakes." As he talks he glances down at my swollen belly and his free hand moves across my stomach, making my skin crawl. His touch is rough, almost clawing, like he wants to rip the baby out of me. I don't want this man touching me, touching my baby. I just want him to stop.

The implications of his words hit me. I can't let him do anything to harm my baby. Realizing just how vulnerable I am at present, I nod my head to signal my agreement and he lifts his hand from my mouth, but his other still rests on my bump, exerting a little more pressure then I'm comfortable with.

I take a big gulp of fresh air and ask my question again.

"Well," he replies, "I have a couple demands. The first is that you lift this ridiculous restraining order on me and drop your trumped up charges. I'm a legitimate member of the press. I have a job to do. If you don't like it, I suggest you get out of the game." As he speaks I watch as his eyes keep darting around the room, like he's paranoid someone may be lurking there, but they never leave me for long. It's like he can't look in one direction for too long.

"Which brings me to my second demand," he continues, "You will get out of this game. This little game you are playing with Edward Cullen is over. If you insist on continuing this charade I will be forced to show you just how bad the press can be. Just how bad I can make it for you. It would be awful for any harm to befall any of your little bastards, wouldn't it? So what's more important to you Mrs. Black? Fame and fortune, or your kids' health?"

I wasn't expecting this. What has this man got against me? Why does he not want me seeing Edward?

"Why do you hate me so much? What have I done to you?" I ask.

His head rolls back and he lets out a hideous dark laugh. "Oh Isabella," he sneers, "we all know how this game works. We all know the advantages of being with someone like Edward Cullen. We all know why you've pursued him and trapped him with this baby. It's only a matter of time before you start to look for the acting roles, the TV appearances and interviews, or is it a reality TV show you're after?"

This man is delusional. I have no desire to be an actress or in a reality TV show. I'm not looking for fame. But it would appear he has not finished his tirade.

"Acting roles, TV appearances that should by rights belong to my sister. She has more beauty and talent in her pinky finger then you possess in your entire body."

His sister? Who the hell is his sister? And what the hell does she have to do with me and Edward.

James continues, "She nearly had him back you know, after he split up with that tramp Tanya. She saw her opening. Then she would have had all her dreams come true. Things would have gone back to how they should have been for her. Things fell apart for her after he dumped her that first time. She stopped getting what she wanted, and my sister always gets what she wants, I see to that."

The man sounds delusional and psychotic. Edward hadn't been getting back with anyone after Tanya. Who on earth is he talking about?

"What are you talking about? I don't understand what you mean? Who's your sister?" I need to keep him talking. Felix can't be far away, if he hears talking he may come in. The nurses also must need to check on me soon.

"Victoria Hunter, of course," he spits at me, and the name Victoria brings back images of a red head at the bar on my night out with the boys. The actress Edward had dated, the one who traded him in for a more famous model. The one who wants to get back with him, probably to forward her career.

"It's all she talks about you know? Getting back with Edward Cullen. She's my little sister. It's my job to make her dreams come true, and her dreams are to be rich and famous, and we all know Edward Cullen is a sure fire way to make that happen. I mean look at you. You're nothing special, not like my Victoria, and the public adore you, despite my best efforts to make them hate you. They'll love Victoria again too when she wins him back, just like they did before. She'll start to see the acting roles come in when she has access to his contacts, and people start to interview her and put her face on the cover of magazines. She'll become a household name, everyone will love her as much as I do. The only thing standing in her way is you and this child."

Now I'm really scared. This man is delusional. Edward would never get back with Victoria, even if I never existed. Is his sister so spoilt that she clicks her fingers and her brother acts to make her wishes come true? Or is this all down to James and his sick twisted mind? Either way I know I'm in a lot of trouble. I have to keep him talking, it's the only way I can think to stop him from hurting me.

"But you refuse to go away don't you, Isabella. I've tried to make you see the dark side of dating a celebrity, but you just won't quit, so now you've forced me to take drastic measures. So tell me Bella, what will it take to make you disappear?"

"Is that what you want? Me to just leave Edward?" I ask tentatively. Perhaps if I give into his demands he'll go away.

"It's not much to ask really, is it Isabella? I know you like the fame, but is it really worth risking your kids over? You've already caused one to be hurt through your irresponsible pursuit of Edward, I'd hate to see the others, especially this little one, come to any harm." Once again his hand moves across my belly, pushing down hard enough to cause me to worry and I try to squirm away, but he grabs hold of my upper arm, pulling me closer to him. His grip is rough and tight, and I know it will cause a bruise.

"So, if I leave Edward, you'll leave me and my kids alone?" I clarify.

"That's the deal, but you have to do it soon. Today in fact. I'm not a patient man, and neither is Victoria, every day she's on at me about how she's not yet with Edward Cullen. I can't take her heart break any longer, her torment." A pained look crosses his face, like the thought of his sister not getting her wishes physically hurts him.

"Okay," I agree, "I'll break up with Edward, but you have to promise not to hurt me or my kids."

"Their fate is in your hands Bella." As he talks he reaches one of his hands behind his back, only to draw it back to the front holding a small, black pistol, which I assume must have been tucked in the back of his pants. He runs the nuzzle down my temple, smiling his sick grin as he does, down my neck, past the side of my breast, as he lets out a small humorless chuckle, until it's pointing directly at my enlarged belly. The threat is clear.

I will find you, wherever you go, so you just do the sensible thing and follow my instructions and they will not be harmed." There is a look of glee in his eyes, as if he's finally winning, finally getting his own way, and, as a small tear runs down my cheek, I have to concede he is. I cannot risk my kids. Not for me, not for Edward, not for anyone.

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A/N My Beta was a little worried for our HEA after this one. Don't be. I will always have a HEA. It is coming. If fact it is just around the corner. It's always darkest before the dawn, and all that. Only a few chapters left now.


	38. Chapter 38 - Acting

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 38 - Acting**

I lie there alone listening to the sounds of the hospital. It's now six hours since I told Edward to leave me and the night is drawing in. My family stuck around for a while after he left, to keep me company and in an attempt to distract me from my worries, but now I'm here alone. And at the same time, Edward is out there alone. And I miss him. I want him back. But that can't be. Not until James is caught. Not until it's safe.

It was a mutual decision in the end. The one for him to leave me. It was the only course of action that would keep everyone safe. But I still hate having to be apart from him.

There was no way I could not tell Edward the truth. As soon as he walked in the room, accompanied by Charlie and Sue, it all came flooding out. Then I put forward my case for him leaving, knowing he wouldn't like it. He just stared blankly for a period, before abruptly standing up and going to look at the various monitors around my bed. I suppose with his dad being a doctor he'd picked up a thing or two. Every visit Carlisle had made to me in the hospital he'd studied my charts and the read outs, showing Edward how well I was doing, how my blood pressure was under control, reassuring him both the baby and I were safe.

"You're blood pressure is through the roof," he said, the stress evident in his words. "It was worse earlier, when _he_ was here. Your heart rate spiked also, and it is still very high." He continues to talk, not really looking for a response. "I need to do whatever is going to cause you the least amount of stress. I can't risk you and the baby's health. I also can't risk Kim, Jared and Embry. If that means I need to go then that's what I have to do."

He looks at Charlie, "I know you need to catch this man, and believe me I want that more than anything, but she's not just at a direct risk from him, if she's anxious and worried it's going to push up her blood pressure to a dangerous level."

"You're both right," concedes Charlie. "Our first priority is to keep Bella and the kids safe." I know that the schools have already been alerted and Alec and Demetri are on their way to pick them up.

Edward nods and looks towards me. "But I'm going to arrange for more security. If I can't be here to keep you and the kids safe I need to know someone else is. I need someone here I can trust to do the job I pay them for." He once again looks towards Charlie as I cringe. I know he is mad at Felix, and I know he let us down, but I'd grown fond of him and I know he is as mad at himself as Edward is over what happened on his watch. "Do you know anyone local who can do the job," Edward asks Charlie. "I don't want to have to wait to get more of Alec's people up from LA?"

"I'll get it sorted, she won't be left alone," confirms Charlie with a brief nod. It looks like for once the two men in my life are on the same page. "I'll also get onto the force and see what undercover officers they can get working the hospital."

"Thank you Charlie, I'm trusting you to keep her safe." Charlie nods his agreement, and Edward looks back at me, "I want you to keep me updated. If anything changes I'll come right back."

"Make sure you look upset as you leave. If he's watching he has to be convinced I've broken up with you."

"I don't think looking pissed off and upset is going to be a problem," he replies.

After that things happened very fast. We all knew that James would be watching and waiting and so we had limited time. Edward and I both knew we had to say our goodbyes, but we seemed lost for words. After just looking into each other's eyes for a moment we kiss. It was a kiss that I hoped conveyed to him everything I couldn't say. My love, my desire to be with him, my regret over this turn of events and how much I was going to miss him. Neither of us held back, despite my dad being in the room.

And then he was gone. No further words being necessary. As he left I cried. Sue came and held me whilst my dad patted my back, his way of offering his support.

After arranging for a couple of his buddies, Mark and Roger, from the station to come down to the hospital, in plain clothes so as not to alert James if he was still watching, Charlie left to go and meet up with the kids. It had been decided if James was still hanging around it would be best for them not to come to the hospital, so Charlie was going to take them to Leah's.

Then he too was gone, leaving me and Sue alone.

She held me in her arms until a man in a business suit knocked and entered the room. He introduced himself at Dr Harold Greene, Chief of staff for the hospital. He started by apologising for James gaining entry to my room and insured me the staff were now on high alert and were getting a refresher on their security protocols. He told me Mark had arrived and was at the nurses' station, from where he could observe anyone entering the ward, and Roger was patrolling the entrance lobby.

He asked me for a description of James that he could pass onto the hospital's own security staff who had already been put on alert. He assured me the surveillance videos for the time around when James was in the hospital would be made available to my dad, Leah and the rest of the Forks PD. All in all he was very efficient and set my mind at rest that he was doing everything he could to keep me safe.

When my dad returned from leaving the kids with Leah, I spent some time talking to them over Skype, reassuring them. They were understandably worried, having been pulled out of lessons early and taken to their aunt's. I didn't want to over worry them, but I also needed them to know to be on alert. Leah helped to reassure them we were all safe, but that we needed to look out for one another and not go anywhere on our own until the situation was resolved.

I then did my best to keep their minds occupied. I listened to their news from their day at school. Embry told me about how Alex was under pressure from his dad to quit the band and stop playing the drums after getting a bad result on a Math test. I ask him their plans, and being the sensible boys they are, they have decided to cut back on practices for the time being. Embry is going to help Alex with his math instead so Alex can get a good result on his next test and they can go back to normal. Kim talked about a new project they'd started in Art, recreating cave art, tying into their current topic looking at pre-history. Jared filled me in on the compliments he'd got from teacher over a piece of writing he'd done on his family history where he'd gone into depth on the Quileute legends. He'd always loved his dad telling him the old stories of the cold ones and the wolf-men. I made a mental note to ensure their grandfather, Billy, handed onto them the stories from that side of their heritage in the future.

While I'm talking with the kids, Charlie has been with Mr. Greene going over the hospital surveillance tapes. He returns after about an hour letting me know they were able to trace James' movements all the way up to my room, so have the definitive proof of him violating his restraining order. Charlie lets me know the warrants are out for his arrest and they have contacted Seattle PD to be watching the airport. He lets me know they will be paying particular attention to anyone who appears to be following Edward when he arrives there.

At around five, Mark comes in to take a statement from me, getting as many details as he can while it's still fresh. I describe to him how James had me help him make his escape, forcing me at gun point to call Felix into the room. As he did James emerged from his hiding place behind the door and hit him over the head with butt of the pistol, knocking him out cold, before giving me a final warning that he would be watching and waiting, and then leaving.

I show him my belly where James had pushed down on me. As I suspected a bruise is forming and after asking permission he takes some pictures to provide further evidence.

And then he, Sue and Charlie leave and I am on my own. I try to relax, knowing I have to keep my blood pressure down. I try to read, but after covering the same paragraph at least four times and still having no recollection of what it said I give up and start to play mindless games on my phone as my thoughts wander. I wonder what Edward is doing. Has he reached the airport yet? Is he driving safely? I think about my kids and all they've been through over the last year. I worry about James. Is he still hanging about in Forks, or has be followed Edward to the airport? Would he really carry out his threats? How much is his sister Victoria involved? Does she know the extremes he's going to in order to make her dreams come true? Does she condone his actions? Does she really believe if I'm out the picture Edward will go back to her? The thought of them together makes my blood turn cold.

I'm just running over all the ways I could make Victoria and James pay for what they are putting my family through, my most favorite involving a dark cellar, handcuffs and a heavy hammer, when my phone rings. I recognize the tone instantly as Edwards. I quickly glance at the time before answering. It's about six o'clock and by my calculations this is when I was expecting him to get to the airport.

I answer quickly.

"It's so good to hear your voice, Beautiful," he says. His voice sounds tired and strained.

"Where are you?" I ask. "You're not where anyone can overhear?" I would hate for our subterfuge to be discovered after the torment we're going through to make it work.

"I'm still in the car. I'll go and check in momentarily. I just needed to hear your voice, to know you were okay, before I go out in public." He sounds so sad. I hate I'm putting him through this, pushing him away again. But at least this time we know it's only temporary. Just until James is apprehended.

"I miss you," I whisper, after a brief silence.

"I miss you too," he replies. "Have there been any leads?"

I fill him in on what's been happening and the security precautions we have in place and it seems to put his mind at rest. He lets me know about his flight details. He should reach LA at about ten thirty this evening. He assures me he will try and call when he lands, but if he can't get anywhere private he will at least text and let me know he's arrived. We say goodbye with whispered words of love.

I attempt to rest, but how can I sleep without him here with me, knowing James is still out there and I have no guarantee the people I love will remain safe. The noise of the machines bothers me, and our daughter is sitting very uncomfortably. I get up and take a walk around the room, visiting the bathroom, hoping the movement will shift her to a more comfortable position. I get back into bed, but can't find a position that works.

Grabbing my pillows I make a nest for myself in the recliner that sits in the corner, my feet up on a plastic chair. The more upright position helps, and with the support of the cushions around me I eventually get into a position that is semi comfortable.

I have my phone lying in my hand, as I rest my head back against the pillow behind my head. My eyes feel heavy and it looks like the excitement of the day is finally catching up with me. I know I'm exhausted and my body and mind could really do with rest. However, just as my eyes close my phone buzzes. I answer it, my mind a little groggy from sleep, to an excited Charlie.

"Bella, are you there?" he asks.

"Of course, dad, what is it, what's happened now?" as I ask the door opens abruptly and Deputy Mark bursts in, followed by Alec.

"Bella, good news. They've got him. James has been arrested!" Mark announces with no preamble.

I hear dad laugh in my ear. "He's right, Bella. Seattle PD picked him at the airport as he tried to board a plane back to LA."

"Wait, wait," I interrupt, "let me just talk to one of you at a time. Actually dad, let me put you on speaker."

I put the phone down in front of me. "Go ahead," I say looking at Mark, "what happened."

"It would appear he followed Edward to the airport," fills in Mark. "They didn't spot him at first, but then his name got flagged for a later flight and they were waiting to arrest him as he tried to board. Seattle PD have him in a cell and they have enough to charge him and keep him locked up for some time."

"That's great news," I sigh, as all the tension leaves my body. "So Edward can come back. I have to let him know."

"Has he landed yet, Bella?" asks my dad. I've not received a text so I suspect not. I check the time and it's still about half an hour till I expect him to land.

"No, not yet," I confirm. "What are the next steps?"

Dad and Mark fill me in on the cross state operation that's taking place, with Victoria being picked up by the LAPD for questioning to determine her part in the operation. They also assure me that James, having broken his restraining order, and the terms of his bail over the harassment charge, will be unlikely to be released before a trial and that a custodial sentence is almost guaranteed once the trial is over.

Once I'm off the phone a wave of euphoria surges through me as I text Edward to let him know the good news. I know he won't be able to pick it up yet, but he'll hopefully read it as soon as he lands. I'm still feeling uncomfortable so I make another trip to the bathroom, before taking a long shower. The cascade of warm water falling over my aching back helps to ease the soreness I'm feeling.

I've just finished drying and dressing in my night clothes, consisting of one of Edwards t-shirts and a pair of sleep pants, when my phone buzzes again. Looking at the clock I realize it's probably Edward and I answer it excitedly.

"Beautiful." His excited voice sounds jubilant over the phone. "Is it true? Have they caught him?"

"It's true," I reply, smiling. "It would appear he believed your acting and really thought we'd split up and you were leaving me to return to LA. Apparently he was shocked I'd alerted the authorities. He thought he was getting away with it."

"Well acting is what I do for a living, although on this occasion it didn't take much to look sad and angry at having to leave you. But now I can come back, right?" he asks for conformation.

"Of course, as soon as you can, CM. I miss you so much."

"I'm on my way to see if I can get a seat on the next flight back to Seattle now. If there's room it looks like there's one out of here at about midnight, which means I should be back in Forks by the time you wake up tomorrow morning." He sounds ecstatic about the idea of getting back to me, and I feel exactly the same. We'll have been apart for less than twenty-four hours, but it feels so much longer.

"Keep me informed on your progress, I love you Edward,"

"I love you too," he mutters.

I'm about to say goodbye and hang up when a strange sensation washes over me and I get a feeling of dampness between my legs.

"Oh!" I exclaim.

"What is it, Beautiful, are you okay?" Edward sounds worried again.

I look down and touch the dark wet patch on my pants.

Oh shit. I think my waters just broke.

* * *

A/N: Many of you were cross that she wouldn't tell Edward what was happening, well she did, and James has been arrested. But it looks like the baby is on the way. More next week. Let me know what you think. Good or bad, it all helps me improve for the future.


	39. Chapter 39 - The New Arrival

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 39 - The new Arrival**

"Where is he?" I ask for the thousandth time, knowing the answer before it comes.

"He's on his way, Bella, please try to relax." Ang holds my hand as Jess checks on my progress.

"How far away was he last time he phoned?" I'm at the stage where things are not staying in my mind for long and time is warping, as the contractions come hard and fast.

"He was still about an hour out, Bella. He'll be here soon." Ang continues to try to reassure me.

"Well, Bella, you're nearly fully dilated. Not long to go now. Baby is correctly positioned, so I don't see any problems when the time comes. Do you want to sit back up before the next contraction hits?" Jess emerges from between my legs.

"I'm so close, he's not going to get here in time." I worry, ignoring her question but attempt to scoot myself back on the bed to get into a more upright stance. I find it more comfortable like this when riding out my contractions.

Both girls take me under the arms, one on each side and help me to maneuver into position. I notice them giving each other looks over my head.

"Oh, God," I say, "he really isn't going to get here is he? You know something, what aren't you telling me?"

"Bella, relax," admonishes Jess. "You are still at risk from your pre-eclampsia, you need to keep calm, else we are going to have to sedate you and go for a C-section. I can't let your blood pressure get any higher."

I take some deep breaths to try and calm myself before I quiz them further, but before I get a chance another contraction rips through me; this one the strongest yet. I grip the hands of my two best friends and attempt to breathe through it. I know things are close, I can feel it, but I need Edward. I need my Cocktail Man by my side. I can't do this alone. Where the hell is he?

I come out of the fog of my contraction and turn to face Angela. "Where is he?" I ask once again.

"Bella, I don't know," she admits. "We expected him to be here by now, but I'm sure he's on his way and will walk through that door at any moment."

It must have been about an hour ago when I last spoke to Edward. He called through to me, hands free, from the road telling me he was close but was running out of power on his mobile. We spoke until his phone died on him. It was good to hear his voice. For about five minutes I could pretend he was here. He made me laugh, he coaxed me through a contraction, and then he was gone.

After my waters broke last night, we'd stayed in contact as much as plane travel allowed. He'd refused to hang up on me during that initial conversation. He went to arrange his return ticket while I called a nurse, arranging for her to page Jess to let her know things were starting. Now I wish we'd thought ahead and conserved his battery. I needed to hear from him now.

I'd had him on speaker phone when Jess confirmed that, at 37 weeks, the baby was in a good position to be born, and if she was ready to enter the world then we needed to be ready to welcome her. He spoke gently to me as I experienced my first few contractions, all while also talking to the booking agent at the airport. He worried about the pain I was in, while I laughed, knowing from experience this was nothing compared to what was to come.

He'd had to leave me while he went through security, but he phoned me right back and helped me to time my contractions as things seemed to speed up faster than they had with the other three. Jess reminded me about my need to stay calm and the complications that could arise with the pre-eclampsia.

We then didn't speak for just over two and a half hours as he flew north, but I reminded myself that every contraction, every minute, not only bought my daughter closer to me, but also my Cocktail Man.

He phoned me again as soon as he was able after getting off the plane. By then my pains were starting to feel serious, but Jess told us we still had plenty of time so we didn't panic. Even so, he got through the airport as fast as he could and got on the road. Once he was on the road he revealed his phone was starting to get low on power so we resolved to only talk periodically. He'd been checking in every half hour. I'd lived for those calls. The sound of his voice calmed me in ways nothing else could. When he helped to talk me through a contraction, encouraging me to breath, I swear to god the pain was less. But it's been over an hour now since we'd last spoken, and things are getting close.

He couldn't miss this, he had to get here in time.

Another contraction hits hard and I concentrate on breathing, as my world shrinks to just my body and the sensations coursing through it. I feel Angela's hand gripping mine, but my eyes are shut. The waves build and seem to go on and on. Then I feel Angela shift beside me and her hand is gone. I reach out, needing the contact to help ground me. I find a hand and grasp on, but it's not Angela's, and then I hear a voice that calms me and fills me with joy.

"Cocktail Man," I sigh, as I start to come out the other side of the contraction.

"I've got you, Beautiful," he whispers, and it's so good to hear his voice.

I turn to him and smile and the smile he gives me back lights up my world. "You made it," I say and he nods before leaning forward and planting a kiss on my forehead.

"I couldn't miss this," he says, raising his hand and wiping the film of sweat from my brow.

"I'm a mess." I complain, but he just shakes his head.

"I've never seen you look more beautiful," he says, and then he comes in for a real kiss. I'm just getting lost in it when yet another contraction hits and I pull away as the waves build. He talks to me throughout. I couldn't tell you a word he said, but the words themselves don't matter, just the sound of his voice calms me and gives me the strength I need to get to the other side.

"They seem strong, Beautiful, is there anything I can do?"

"You're doing it," I reassure him. "Just having you here is all I need, but a sip of water would be good, and perhaps a wipe of my face with that damp cloth. Oh, and I could also do with another pillow behind my upper back to give me a bit more support." He laughs as my list of demands increases.

"Anything for the woman birthing my child," he says as he reaches for the water, a face cloth and another pillow.

"Anything?" I question after taking a much needed sip of water and allowing him to wipe my face and neck clean of sweat, the coolness of the cloth bringing much needed relief.

"Anything," he declares, confidently, giving me a peck on the nose.

"Then could you kindly arrange it so that you're the one lying here giving birth to this baby and I'm the one holding _your_ hand?" It's a joke, and I mean it humorously, honestly, I do. But there is a slight edge to my voice, after all I've been at this a while now and I'm keen for it to be over.

"Not long now, Bella," Jess reminds me with a giggle. "Just remember the end goal; that beautiful little girl you'll soon be holding in your arms."

And I do. In my mind she has Edward's eyes and his devilish smile. I see her sharing Kim's and my long dark hair, but with mine and Edward's lighter skin tone.

"I can't wait to meet her," I divulge looking into his eyes.

"She's going to be the best of both of us," he whispers.

I know he is about to say more, but I reach out and grasp his hand firmly as I feel the tell-tale signs of another contraction starting. Once again his presence helps me through it. Following that contraction we don't get much time to talk, as another follows quickly on its heals. The contractions now seem to be lasting longer than the breaks I get between. I barely seem to get time to ask Edward to wipe my brow, or spritz me with cooling water, or allow me an ice cube to suck on, before the next one is upon me. Through each one I feel his presence as I grip his hand and hear his words of encouragement.

It feels like only moments have passed when I'm telling Jess I feel the urge to push.

"Trust your body," Jess tells me. "It knows what it's doing." And with the next contraction I follow my body's demands and bear down, starting the process that will deliver our baby into our arms.

"Is this it?" murmurs Edward after my first contraction where I was actively pushing. "Is she going to be here in a moment?" His voice is low and breathless and I understand the emotions there.

"Any moment now, we are in the final stages," informs Jess.

"Bella, I can see her head. Another couple of big pushes and we should be there," I hear Jess say excitedly, an unmeasured amount of time and uncounted number of contractions later. "Edward, would you like to look?"

Up to this point Edward has stuck close to my side, his attention firmly on me, and not on the business end of things. He looks to me, as if asking permission, but if he wants to see this I'm not going to deny him so I give him a small nod.

He moves down and I catch the moment when he spots the top of our daughter's head. There is no revulsion at what he is seeing, just awe and wonder. "You can touch her if you like," says Jess and he reaches out a tentative hand and strokes the top of our baby's head. As he looks up at me there are tears in his eyes. "Bella," he says, "it's our baby."

I smile at him, mirroring his expression, I'm sure, until another wave hits me and I once again feel the need to push.

Edward is still down the business end of things, seemingly caught in a daze. My hand is reaching forward and down, grasping his, needing the contact at this time. He holds onto me throughout, his eyes darting backwards and forwards between my face and our baby's head.

As the contraction ends he looks up at me. "Would you like to touch her too, Beautiful?" he asks, "Her hair is so soft."

I nod my agreement before asking, "What color is it?"

He looks down and then back up at me. "It's a little hard to tell, it's kind of covered in gunk." He crinkles up his nose in such an adorable fashion, I can't help but give a little chuckle, but then I'm riding out another contraction that has followed straight on the back of the last. I push with all my might. The pain is excruciating, but Jess, Angela and Edward continue to urge me on, and then the pain subsides and I look down at an astonished Edward who is cradling our baby in his arms. He looks up at me. "She's here," he mutters, as if he can't quite believe this is happening. I take in the wonder in his face, and I'm so glad we found each other, that he is part of my life; part of his daughter's life.

She gives one loud cry to let us know she really has arrived and Edward lifts her up to his chest, ruining his shirt in the process. Jess hands him a blanket, and then she is on my chest, as I open my top to allow her skin to skin contact. We both stare down at the new life we have created. I hold her close as he runs the tips of his fingers over her delicate flesh. He seeks out her tiny fingers and toes, as if checking they are all there, before placing a protective hand over her back. He then pulls a blanket up over us both to keep us warm. I can't stop looking at her as she snuggles silently into me.

There is no need for words, but I hear Edward mutter some anyway, however, I think he's speaking to himself more than me. I catch the odd word though, "Beautiful…. The most amazing thing ever…. All ours…. Nothing compares." And I couldn't agree more.

* * *

A/N - Just one more chapter left, plus an Epi.


	40. Chapter 40 - The Intervention

**Thank you to Robstenfanpire for being my beta on this story.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in Twilight. I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.**

* * *

 **Chapter 40 – The Intervention**

"Move to LA with me." It's a request I've heard time and time again over the last four months and he knows exactly what my answer will be as well as I do.

"You know I can't." I give the standard reply as I carry on loading the dishwasher.

I feel two strong hands wrap around me from behind as I stand up. "Move to LA with me," he appeals once again, in his seductive voice, right in my ear.

I close my eyes and sigh, allowing my head to fall back against his chest. "Please, Edward, don't make this harder than it is. Besides, you'll be back here in a couple of months." The end of August is fast approaching. Edward and I have been together in Forks all summer, since Vanessa was born. It's been a wonderful four months, but now his work beckons.

He turns me in his arms and looks down into my eyes. "A couple of months away from you is too long," he protests. "I'm going to miss you all so much."

I can't bear to see the hurt and pain in his eyes and I look down leaning my head against his chest. "We'll Skype every day."

"Not good enough, Bella. Nessie changes every day. I'm going to hate not waking up next to you, not being able to help Embry with his guitar, not playing chess with Jared, and I'm going to really miss Kim's impromptu ballet performances in the living room, more then I'd ever admit to her." I know his words are true.

In the last few months, Edward has become an important part of this family. He helps me around the house and all of my children have bonded with him. We are all going to miss him while he's in LA working on his next film. For the next two months I go back to being a single mom and I'm not looking forward to it. But I can't move to LA. The place where Kim ended up in hospital. The place where a photographer could be waiting around any corner. Besides, Edward will be working long hours, so he'll not be around much anyway.

"The kids start school in a couple weeks," I say.

"There are schools in LA," he replies, his voice breaking on the words. I know what this is doing to him. I feel it too, but I'm so scared. Besides, we have to get used to these separations. His next job could be filming in Europe, or worse, Australia.

I know I'm being stubborn, and probably unreasonable, but the idea of living in LA really frightens me. When I think about it my blood runs cold. How could I take my kids to the park? What about grocery shopping? Here in Forks, since James has been locked up, we are never hassled. The locals have gotten used to seeing Edward around with me and the kids. A few people still act a little star struck, but they're not people we see often. We had a little interest from the press when we first left the hospital with Vanessa, but after that we've been left alone in the main.

Talking of James. He was sent down for fifteen years, after effectively admitting to everything when arrested. He was threatening to plead not guilty for a while, forcing us to go through the stress of a trial, but in the end some cleaver bargaining from the DA around the charges his sister was to face convinced him not to go ahead. She is currently out and living her life, as there really wasn't any proof she knew what her brother was up to, but it's not the life she wanted to live. No one in LA will touch her now the story of has got out.

"Please, Edward," I beg as my eyes fill with tears. I try to hold them back, but Edward's leaving date is loaming and I'm dreading it. I hate hearing the hurt in his voice and I hate the thought of him not being here. But I can't be there. I just can't. "Maybe after this project." I try to placate him.

He pulls back and lifts my chin to look me in the eye. He studies me and I see unshed tear in his eyes also. "I want everything with you, Beautiful, you understand that don't you? I see you moving in as just the first step of us getting our forever. I need to know you want that too."

I don't know what to say. Of course I want forever with this man. I just wish I wasn't so scared.

"I love you, CM." It's all I can offer him at the moment. "Please tell me that's enough for now."

He sighs and pulls me back into his embrace. "For now, Beautiful."

I know we need to move forward, and forcing him into a situation where he won't be able to see his daughter every day borders on cruelty, but I have four children whose best interests I have to put first. The older three only moved here a year ago. They are settled. Can I really justify uprooting them again, so soon?

Tonight is a big night though. It's exactly a year since Edward and I met, and we are celebrating. The LA gang is up visiting and we have everyone over for a late summer barbeque. We've been lucky and the weather has held off. Edward has been helping me to marinade the meat all day, a pregnant Rose is coming over early to make up her potato salad and check there are enough virgin cocktails for us non-drinkers. Alice offered to make something, but was quickly shut down. It would appear her cooking skills are as good as my fashion knowledge.

We also have my family over, Charlie and Sue are bringing salad items and my sister is bringing dessert. She does a mean cheesecake. Billy and Sarah are also coming over. They met Edward soon after Vanessa was born, when then came up to meet her. It was great to see them interacting with Nessie in the same way they had the other three children, and I know they are going to spoil her as much as they do the others. Sarah was a little star struck by Edward at first, getting all flustered and tongue tied, causing Billy to roll his eyes and whisper to me that she'd seen all his films. She's since gotten more used to him, but she still gets her fan girl moments when I see her remember he isn't just Edward, the guy who helps to care for her grandchildren, but is actually Edward Cullen, famous movie star.

Ang and Ben have been here most of the day with their boys, helping us to set up, which I think involved them putting the beer on ice and making up pitchers of various punches and cocktails. Jess was due to be here earlier, but one of her ladies went into labor, so she is likely to be late. I'm really looking forward to having everyone who is closest to Edward and I together to help us celebrate. To top everything off Alice arranged for Esme and Carlisle to fly in last night as a surprise. They are currently helping Ang and Ben check the wine and beer are cool enough out on the back patio whist the kids play.

I'm just managing to pull myself together as there is a ring at the door, and I wonder which of our guests it will be. I pull away from Edward wiping my eyes and taking a deep breathe.

"You ready for this?" asks Edward.

I smile at him. "Bring it on," I say.

~H~

The afternoon has been passing well and Edward seems to have put his worries to one side and is playing the role of the perfect host, making sure drinks are topped up and people are fed. He's currently talking earnestly with Charlie and Billy. If I was a betting person, I would guess he was ensuring my dad will be keeping an eye on us while he's in LA. Charlie has got over his aversion to Edward. The whole James situation helped to show him that Edward will do anything to keep me and our family safe and after reading several internet stories linking Edward to his ex, Tanya, at times when Charlie knew Edward was in Forks he understands not to believe the internet rumors any more

My family and Edward's family are getting on so well. Ang and Esme seem to be giggling together a lot, and Alice, Rose and Jess seem as thick as thieves. I have my feet up, a virgin mojito in hand, as I survey our back yard. I smile as Embry tosses a football to Emmett, who is swiftly tackled by Jared. Emmett is so large he doesn't even flinch slightly from, what I know to be, Jared's hardest tackle. He just sweeps Jared up under his other arm and carries him into the touch down zone, to many cries of cheating. The game breaks up soon after, having been declared a technical draw and I see Embry, Emmett and Jasper wander off together, probably doing some male bonding. I'm so glad my sons' have such good male role models in their lives. With the loss of their dad, it was a worry I'm pleased to see arrested.

I'm broken out of my musings by Carlisle coming to sit next to me. "Penny for a thought?" he asks.

"I was just enjoying my extended family," I smile at him.

"But you're a little worried?"

It would appear Edward inherited his knack of being able to read me like a book from his father.

"I'm worried about when he goes to LA. I'm going to miss him. The kids are going to miss him."

"Then go with him, or at least visit." He says it likes it's the most simple thing in the world.

"That scares me as much as him going without me."

"Which part scares you more? Making the commitment to him, or being in LA?" I look up as Charlie and Billy join us, taking the seats next to Carlisle.

It's a no brainer, and I look between the eyes that so resemble mine; those that resemble the man I gave twenty years of my life to, the man I will always love; and those that resemble the man who has become so important to me, the man that I now love. I register concern and confusion in all three sets. "I'd commit to him tomorrow if our lives could be like the last four months. But what if they are like the previous four months? I can't put my kids through that."

"But James is gone now, you've also been down to LA to see Alice and Jasper when they got engaged." Charlie looks puzzled. "From what you said that trip went well. Is LA really still this big frightening place?"

"No, you're right, it all went smoothly that time. We went through the celebrity exit at the airport, so didn't come in contact with any fans or photogs, and it was nice to be back at Edward's house, to see him on his home turf. But that was only for a few days, and I only took Vanessa, not the whole clan."

"But you told Sarah and Sue you went out and partied, even had your picture taken. You went to the park with Nessie, visited Rose and Emmett, even went to the beach. And you survived?" says Billy, who had obviously overheard my conversation with my two surrogate moms, when I filled them in on the finer details of my trip. It seems the ball game wasn't as interesting as he had been making out.

"I suppose I'm kind of getting used to being looked at and photographed when I'm with Edward, and I admit is wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but that was for a short period, and I wasn't with the kids."

"So you'll be visiting Edward over the next few months?" asks Carlisle. "I know he'd love to see you and the kids, he's told me how much he is going to miss you all."

I'd not really given it much thought, but now he mentions it, it's so clear that I can't go two months without seeing him in the flesh. "I suppose so. Two months is a long time," I relent.

"And the kids?" pushes Charlie.

I chew my lip. I'd not really allowed myself to consider taking them back to LA But I can't see any way around it. "I suppose so. It's not really fair on them to stop them coming, to stop them seeing him, but the idea really scares me."

"You know he'd keep you all safe, don't you? He'd not let anything happen to you or the kids again," says Carlisle.

"I know, but he can't control everything, and we can't live like prisoners either."

"And if a visit goes well, I suppose we'll have to get used to the idea of you moving down there at some point," says Charlie, with a little twinkle in his eye.

"I don't know," I mumble. "I never thought I'd admit to this, but I've enjoyed being back in Forks. Besides, I can't take the kids away from their grandparents now." I smile at Charlie and Billy, but the smile Charlie returns is full of sorrow.

"You can't live your life for us, Bella. You need to do what is right for you and your future. Of course we'd miss you all if you did ever move away, but we'd cope. We did when you and Jake were in Miami, and LA is a lot closer than that. At least you'd still be in our time zone."

"I'm with Charlie on this. I know it would make Esme, and me, the happiest people alive if you, Edward and the kids were to live as close to us as you do to Sue, Charlie, Billy and Sarah, but we also know you have your own lives that you need to live."

We are interrupted by a cry from the baby monitor. Nessie has been down for a nap, but it would appear it is time for a feed. I get up and wave to Edward, letting him know where I'm going and wander up to the nursery.

I'm sit in my old rocking chair that I bought up with me from Miami. I've nursed all my children in it and I'm so glad I kept hold of it to keep the tradition going with Vanessa. I look down at her in my arms, stroking my hand across her short soft hair, the same color as Edwards. Her eyes are currently blue, but Esme tells me Edward's were at birth also, and developed their green color when he was about three. She still has to grow into her features, but Edward is convinced she has the swan nose and ears. I don't see my ears as being any different than anyone else's, but he assures me they are, usually while nibbling on them and whispering words not suitable for child consumption.

We are only five minutes into the feed when there is a knock on the door. I wonder who it could be. Edward wouldn't normally knock, so it must be one of our guests. I briefly check I'm not flashing too much boob and call them in.

I'm surprised to find it's Rose.

"I need to talk to you, but it's been hard to get you on your own." She seems a little pissed off and I wonder what's bothering her. But being Rose she gets straight to the point. "I'm here to tell you to stop fucking about with Edward."

I'm shocked by the tone of her voice, as well as the words. I've no idea where this is coming from, and I have no idea how to respond to her. So instead I just look at her in shock.

It would appear, though, that I don't need to respond yet as she's not finished. "He's one of the really good guys out there, and you can't keep pushing him away. Every time you do it, you kill him a little more. He's willing to give you everything, but you won't even consider making a sacrifice for him. It's not fair, Bella. Do you realize how much you're hurting him? All he wants is to have you, Nessie and the others by his side. It's killing him having to leave you." As she talks she paces across the room, occasionally stopping to scowl at me.

Nothing she says is new to me, but I didn't realize other people were picking up on how upset Edward was.

As she finishes talking she falls down onto the love seat under Nessie's window and I turn to her, a little cross by her intrusion and assumptions.

"Rose, I appreciate you looking out for Edward, but this is between me and him. Don't you think this is hurting me too? I'm dreading him going, but I can't move to LA. Mine and my kids' lives are here. Besides it would mean so many sacrifices. It's too much, I can't do it."

"So that's it. Every time he needs to be in LA, you're just going to let him go? His work is there, Bella. He needs to be there, but he also needs you. Help me to understand. Why can't you go to LA? Because I've been talking with Jess and Alice and none of us can figure it out. We understand you're afraid, but surely the risk of losing him is worth overcoming your fear for." Her voice has lost its anger and she now just sounds frustrated and confused.

Her words shock me. Am I at risk of losing Edward? Would he eventually leave me if I keep pushing him away?

"Look what happened last time I took the kids to LA, Rose? Kim ended up in hospital. What sort of life will they have there? How would I take them to the park, school, bike rides? We're safe here, away from the press and the madness."

Rose rubs her obviously pregnant belly. "I'm bringing up my kids in that madness, Bella. Does that make me a bad mom? Am I putting them at risk? I don't believe so. There are parks in the gated communities, there are fantastic schools, that are safe and protected, and the press only gets bad when a new story breaks. What happened to Kim, I'll admit, was scary, but it shouldn't have happened and there are ways to protect against it happening again."

"I know I'm probably being irrational, but I can't help my emotions. My kids will always come first. Their lives are here. They have friends and family here. They are settled."

Rose leans forward on her seat, resting her arms on her knees. "Have you spoken to Embry, Bella? Have you asked him, or the others, how they feel about this?" Her words confuse me. I've not spoken to them about another possible move, partly because a move was not a possibility, but also because I'm sure I'd know their views. They love being near their grandparents and spending time with their cousins and round Angela's. They have made some great friends here in the short time we've been here. Kim has Paul, Jared has Frankie and Joe, whist Embry has Alex and the band, which is now four strong and writing their own music. There is no way he'd want to give up all the hours of practice they have put in and start again.

As I ponder Rose ploughs on. "Do you know Embry's been talking to Jasper and Emmett? There's a school in LA he's been looking at, a specialist music school. That boy has so much talent, he needs to be somewhere they can nurture it. This school has the best facilities, and the teachers are second to none. It's the sort of place a boy like Embry would flourish."

I look at her confused. "Are you telling me Embry wants to go to school in LA? Why hasn't he spoken to me about this? I'm his mom. He can talk to me about anything."

"Emmett also says he was concerned you wouldn't have the money for him to go. He's been in contact with them to see if they do scholarships. He spoke to Jasper about how to put together an audition tape." She pauses for a minute. "He was also afraid you'd say no. He's heard you talking to Edward about not wanting to go to LA. He's worried about Edward leaving and not being around, about losing him like he lost his dad." Her words are quiet, the previous anger replaced by sadness and concern. "Don't let that happen, Bella. Those kids all love him. Don't push him away to protect them. It will be them you hurt if you do."

I'm stunned by her words. I don't know how to respond. My whole perspective has been thrown. It is like the world as I understood it has been turned inside out and the view is a polar opposite of the one I thought I understood. Am I risking my kids' happiness more by my stubborn refusal to even consider a move to LA then I would be by taking that risk?

The door gives a small creak and I look up to see it being pushed open again, and we're joined by Ang and Jess. "Sorry to interrupt," says Ang, "but we thought Rose could do with some back up."

I look at my two best friends. They're here to back up Rose? What the hell. They're supposed to be on my side.

"You agree with what's she's saying? You think I should move to LA? You don't want me to stay here with you?" To say I'm hurt that Ang seems to be wanting to get rid of me after only a year would be an understatement.

Ang looks at me sadly. "I've loved having you here, Bells, but it's time. Forks has done you good, but you need to move forward and you can't do that here. You belong with Edward. I'd much rather see you happy on skype then be able to see you miserable face to face."

Jess comes over and crouches down in front me, looking me straight in the eye. "I know what it's like to be afraid, Bella. I know I don't show it much, but when my marriage broke down, it hurt. I didn't know if I could open up again. Why do you think it's taken me so long to trust Dr. Sex? But he's asked me to move in and I've said yes, and when he asks me to marry him, which he will," she says with a raised eye brow and a smirk, "I'll say yes to that also, even though it scares me silly."

I lift Nessie up onto my shoulder to burp her as I look around the room. I understand what they are saying to me, but it's a big step.

"So you are all in agreement? You think I should to move to LA?"

They all nod at me, but Ang has more to say, "But more than that, Bells. You need to give Edward all your heart. Commit to him completely. Don't hold back, you will only regret it."

"What are you saying?" I ask.

"You know you love him, you know your forever is with him. Listen to your heart for once, not your head. Jake was a good man, a loving man. All he ever wanted was for you to be happy. He would approve of you making your life with Edward." She smiles and her words hit home. Edward is my life and I have been holding back from him and hurting him. Not only that, I've been hurting myself, and it would appear I've been hurting my kids. It's been for a lot of reasons, good reasons, but in that moment none of them seem valid.

The simple truth is, Edward is my forever.

"Could you please take Nessie down with you," I say, handing her to Jess who is still crouched at my feet, her hands resting on my knees. "I just need a moment to think."

Jess take's Nessie and Ang gives me a reassuring hug, whispering in my ear, "I know you'll do that right thing," before they all leave the room together.

I collapse back into the seat and think about my options. My head is still trying to argue with me, but I try and listen to my heart. My heart that beats for Edward. It will kill me to be apart from him. I know in my heart that where he is, is where I belong. If I move I'm going to miss my family and friends here in Forks, but I have friends in LA now too. How can I keep hurting Edward when I proclaim to love him so much? I need to show him how much he means to me. I need to show him that I want us to be together forever, that I will never leave him again, and there is only one way to do that. My mind is set as I walk purposefully towards the stairs, ready to grasp my future.

….

I pass through the house and notice everyone is gathered on the back patio, sipping wine and beer. I spot Kim talking animatedly to Alice and Jasper, I assume about some aspect of fashion I'm deficit in. Those two are like peas in a pod when it comes to dressing up and shopping. Rose's little one, Bree, who recently turned four, watches on animatedly. She becomes Kim's shadow whenever they come to visit, and Kim loves having the younger girl around, telling me it's good practice for when Nessie is older.

Nessie herself is being held by my dad as he talks to Esme and Carlisle. Sue and Sarah are with Jess, Ang and Rose and I assume they being filled in on our conversation upstairs as their heads are close together. Embry, Jared and Emmett are near the fire pit with, Ben and his boys, seeming to be involved in some sort of eating competition, as Billy watches on, an amused expression on his face. I know Jared idolized Emmett to a degree, having watched all his films with Jake so I'm not surprised to see then together.

I look around, trying to find the one person I need. The person who completes me, who makes me whole. The person who is my rock, who healed me, who brought me back to life. And who will continue to do this, if I will only let him.

Then I spot him. He's standing to one side on his own, looking over the group. He has a soft smile on his face, but there is a sadness about his eyes. A sadness I know I put there. In that moment, I understand what he said a year ago today, about wanting to take that sadness away from my eyes. I feel the same. I can't bear that he's hurting because of me, but I know how to make it right.

I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. This could all back fire. It could all be too much, but it's what I want, what I need, and I hope he feels the same.

I exit the house, by eyes fixed on my Cocktail Man, and make my way past our family and friends, until I'm right in front of him. I only have eyes for him, but in my peripheral vision I spot Jess jab her elbow into Rose's ribs, and their eyes follow me across the deck. As I get closer Edward spots me approaching. His eyes are curious, as I capture them with mine, feeling drawn to them, like they are a lantern guiding me home. Neither of us look away and I know he senses something is coming.

I stop right in front of him and take his hands in mine, smiling as I do. This man has bought me so much happiness. I just hope I can do the same for him.

"Beautiful?" he questions, quietly, squeezing my hands in his.

I take a big breath and start.

"Edward, my Cocktail Man. You've given me so much and I know I don't deserve you …" He looks like he's going to interrupt, so I silence him with a small shake of my head, "…You are a wonderful father, friend and lover." I give a cheeky smile as I think of all the ways this man brings me pleasure and I feel a blush rise up my cheeks as I hear my father clear his throat. I give him a brief glance before looking back into Edward's eyes and sinking down onto my knees in front of him, still clutching his hands in mine, both for support and to hopefully show him my love.

As I lower I hear a slight gasp from behind me and I suddenly realize a hush as descended over the garden. I can hear birds chirping in the distant trees and the rustle of the leaves as the wind moves them. And my heart; well, my heart is beating so loudly I'm surprised the birds are not frightened away.

I look at up Edward and I see love and awe in his eyes, as well as confusion. I plough on before I can lose my nerve, determined to finish what I need to say. "Would you, please, also consider a new role, that of husband? Edward, will you marry me."

"About fucking time" I hear from behind me from a voice that sounds like Emmett's and a chuckle goes around our friends.

A couple seconds pass and Edward doesn't move. I start to worry it's all too soon. He's not ready. It's not what he wants, and then he's sinking to his knees, joining me on the deck. I see tears in his eyes as he brings me in for the hug of my life and I hear his words in my ear. "Of course, Beautiful. I love you, of course I'll marry you." He repeats the words over again until they finally sink in. I'm going to marry this beautiful, wonderful, supportive man. We will be together forever.

I pull away and he cradles my face in his hands before joining our lips in the happiest, most loving kiss I've ever received. As we pull apart a cheer goes up from our friends. Then Charlie's voice breaks through.

"Perhaps now would be a good time to show her that little something you've got in your pocket Edward." I look at Edward, puzzled, and his eyes open wide with realization before he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, blue box. Opening the hinge he shows me the most exquisite engagement ring I've ever seen.

"I've been carrying this around for weeks, but I didn't think you were ready. I was afraid you'd never be ready," he admits.

"I wasn't," I confess. "But I was a fool. Thank you for waiting."

"Forever," he replies.

* * *

A/N - So that's the last chapter. It feels strange to mark this complete. I've been working on it for over a year now and I never thought I'd be able to write a full chaptered story like this. Back then I was a stay at home mom with some spare time on her hands. Now I'm back in work and finding time to write is harder, but I've thoroughly enjoyed doing this and so will be keeping it up (check out The Man in the Elevator for my next adventure). Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me throughout this adventure. I've learnt a lot along the way. In particular to everyone who has reviewed this story, especially in the early days. It means so much to hear from you, to know what you do and don't like (I did a double check for any 'whilst's' that might have crept in, especially for you Esme incognito), and to just know you are there. It's what has kept me going.

I will be posting an epi, but I've only just started to write it. I have a good idea of what I want it to show and when it takes place. If you have any requests, however, I might be able to work these in. Just let me know.


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